Amy W.
It's go time...
Sep 13, 2011
One hour and I leave for surgery.In the midst of all the emotions that I'm sure everyone else is familiar with I found myself this morning sitting alone in my bed with one final regret...
I'm sad, beyond words, that my Papa won't be here today. He was the one that always held my hand going into surgeries, he would stay with me until the doctor was literally wheeling me out of Pre-Op. I'm sad that he's not around to see this happen. When he was so sick and about to pass away I just remember him wanting this for me so bad because he always wanted me to be healthy and happy. He made my Grandma promise that she would see to it that I had this surgery, and while my insurance paid for me and I'm thankful for that he said he would have paid for it out of pocket if he had so. While there is so much joy in me and so much excitment and readiness, my heart seems to be at the moment in a million pieces because the one person that wanted this for me as much as I do isn't here anymore to share today with me. Thinking about how much he's missed out on and how much I've missed out by him being gone kills me inside.
If there is a God.. and if there is a heaven, and if people become Angels... I know he'll be with me today. In all my religious doubts, today I hope it's all real and that I won't be alone even in the OR.
Sorry for the ultra depressing post, I just needed to get that out before I got this last shower. Happy thoughts from now on, I promise.
I'll see you all on the other side!
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About Me
FL
Location
56.5
BMI
Surgery
09/14/2011
Surgery Date
Dec 05, 2010
Member Since
