Nov 2nd - beginning again

Nov 02, 2009

I do SOO much better when I'm accountable to others HERE - the people here are incredible!  Been doing protein shakes in the morning, protein & salad during the day. My problem is eating late, I get home about 7pm then still have to cook. REALLY gotta work on that.  I can't give up.

I keep going from 316 - 290 - ping/ponging. A friend told me I'm working way too hard & eating all the right food for the weight not to be literally falling off.  She tells me that I'm not eating enough.  I need to get a cupboard of food just for ME.

In being honest,  I sure don't feel like walking/elliptical/etc but that seems to be the only way to budge the scale or the weight. I'm still consistently doing my Yoga and that's really helping my joints. 

Feelin sluggish & tired...also a little blue - my Winter clothes fit me exactly the same as they did last year this time. Ugg. I bought 2 new bras when I hit 290, now they're too small again.

Gotta pull myself up by the bootstraps. Lord, please help me.

Jesus is REAL - I am shouting from the ROOFTOPS!

Aug 26, 2009

God is faithful.  God is right on time.  It's been an amazing month or so. Our daughter is back on the right path and I owe it all the Jesus. Praise His name!!!  He surely touched her mind, her heart and her soul.  The fervent prayers of the righteous availed MUCH!!!! So much that I am in total & complete AWE of Him, His loving care and His power.   GOD is a GOOD GOD, yessssssss HE is!!!!!!!!!!!

People that I don't even know linked arms with me to PRAY for God to move in a MIGHTY way in her life and were standing in the gap for her. Being a Christian is not about judging other people or thinking that you're better than anyone else, to me it's knowing that we serve the same Master, a Master who only has GOOD intentions. God even knows how many strands of hair are on your head, if He knows that, do you honestly think that he doens't know the desires of your heart????? 

My heart goes out to other parents who think they are alone in their situations with their children.  Let me tell you honi, GOD is faithful.  He knows the beginning from the end and wants them to SUCCEED!  We MUST, MUST, MUST stand on God's word, even when we can't see the pages of our Bible thru the tears.  We have 2 choices, we can WORSHIP or we can WORRY.  Honestly, what's the benefit of worrying? - overeating, anxiety attacks, ill feelings, obsessions, lack of sleep, irritability, etc.  What are the benefits of worship? Total confidence in our maker that HE has it all under control. Done. End of story.  Nothing is accomplished by worrying - EVERYTHING is accomplished by standing by faith that God will work it out.  My prayer is that God will continue to give us STRENGTH and a loving, soft heart.

My daughter made some horrific decisions that could have taken her life or had her put away under lock & key....but thank you Jesus, she was given another chance to turn her feet and heart in the RIGHT direction.  I know that I know that I know GOD IS ABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Hallelujah, thank you Jesus from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet for giving another chance.   You are SO worthy of MY praise. Jesus, YOU are the ONE who created her for YOUR glory. YOU are the one who will KEEP my daughter.

Here's the song I'm singing today:
Look what the Lord has done!!!!!!!, Look what the Lord has done YA'LL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He healed HER body, He touched HER mind, He saved HER just in time - (((((((thank you Jesus, HALLELUJAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH))))
I'm gonna praise His name, each day is just the same
Come on and praise Him!!!!! Look what the Lord has done!!!!!!!

If nothing else, I've learned to TRUST in Jesus!  Makes me think of the Andrea Crouch song, "Through it all":

I've had many tears & sorrows, I've had questions for tomorrow, there's been times I didn't know right from wrong, 
but in EVERY situation, God gave blessed consolation (comfort/relief/support), that my trials come to only make me strong.

Through it all, through it all, I've learned to trust in Jesus, I've learned to trust in God,
Throught it all, through it all, Ohhh I've learned to depend upon His Word.

I thank God for the mountains, and I thank Him for the valleys, I thank Him for the storm He brought me through,
For if I'd never had a problem, I wouldn't know that God could solve them,
And I'd never know what FAITH IN GOD could do!!!!!!!!!

Much love & KEEP the faith alive in your hearts & lives!  Jesus IS the answer,

I'm tellin you, I know first hand that HE IS ALL that WE need - FOR ANY situation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This too shall pass...thank you Jesus!

Jul 22, 2009

Been a rough few weeks in our home.  BUT, GOD is FAITHful and we shall overcome!!!   My eldest daughter recently broke my heart (along with her own) into tiny, microscopic pieces but.... God is STILL faithful and all I can do is show my love for her during this time of need.  Told her she has to know God for herself & not count on Mom & Dad's prayers to get her into heaven or to talk to God for her - she's got to have FAITH for herself!  Praying for her continually.

Lord Jesus, touch her mind, comfort her heart, heal her wounded spirit. Where there is turmoil, bring your peace. Where there is heartache, bring your comfort.  Where there is doubt, bring a renewed sense of your faithfulness.  I am counting on you Jesus to be FAITHFUL, please put someone directly into her path that can touch her where she's at and minister to her soul.

The weight loss has been a little slow lately but I'm not giving up! My 26/28's are getting too big, people at work are saying I need to buy bigger clothes. I'm relishing in the feeling that FINALLY I have SOMETHING that's TOO big for once!!!  Still focusing on the protein & not very interested in the carbs.  Reading a lot of good material about healthy eating, etc.  Taking it one day/meal at a time and not talking negatively to myself.  Positive self-talk is invaluable, a MUST & PRICELESS!!!  The scale has said 290 for a few weeks but I'm NOT giving up. I've not been exercising cuz of the weather - that's my story & I'm stickin to it. When it cools off a little, I'll get back to it. Right now, the heat messes with my other meds. Ok, that's it for now.  

Love & peace - thank you Jesus for another day!

My dear Dad...

May 18, 2009

My Father from out of town invited me to lunch - haven't seen him in a few months.  When I walked in, he looked right at me but apparently didn't recognize me until I was up in his personal space saying his name! Then his jaw dropped & he just sat there staring at me?!?!?!  It was as if he was seeing a ghost.     He went on and on about how much weight I've lost (only 21 lbs so far,28 inches - I've got at least 100lbs to go) - what the hex?!? THEN he started crying, he kept saying "", "you have come so far", "I'm so proud of you"....etc.    Then, a perfect stranger was staring at us/me, he walked up to our table and said "You are so beautiful - I just had to tell you".  My Dad started clapping!!!!!! IN THE RESTAURANT!!!   Ohh for the LOVE!?!?!?!?!?!?! - - - I wanted to pass out!!!   NEVER been in this position where people were making such a big deal.  

I smiled & said "Thank you"  and tried to keep it moving - but Daddy just stared at me, people at other tables started to stare too.  Kinda felt like I had a sign across my forehead. Then w/the stranger walkin up on us, good lawd....I was ready to jump up on him & tackle him to the ground - how you gonna step up in my Father's face/space?!?! Suprised Daddy didn't take out his King James Bible & beat him down to the ground!!! 

I am really thankful & humbled by the compliments - - - but it just felt VERY weird. I was SOOOOO embarrassed.  I must have been way larger than I thought for my own Dad to react this way?!?!?

How do ya'll deal w/the attention??? NEVA thought I'd be gettin it - I'm VERY weirded out.......and honestly, I really don't like it.
I'm very outgoing & don't have trouble talking to anyone. Don't like to have people pointing at me tho & shouting it from the rooftops!!     I don't even know what my question is at this point...!?!??!  Just feelin weird..all ova.

Even better than before...

Apr 29, 2009

  March  NOW
Chest 57 ½ 52
Upper waist 54 49
1/2” above belly button 56 53 ½
Low abdomen 64 59 ½
Hips 63 61 ½
Right quad 33 31 ½
Left quad 33 30
Right bicep 17 ½ 16
Left bicep 15 ¼ 16

So very happy, workin the process!!!!  I SHALL overcome!



It's STILL all-good!

Apr 27, 2009

Weighed myself on Sunday mornings (as usual) was expecting to be in the 200's - I gained a pound so I'm 301.  BUT...Aunt Flo is also here this week so it's STILL all-good!  Next week should be a good weigh-in for me.  Not getting discouraged, I'm doing good!

A few wow-moments to remember -
-I painted my toenails & could still breathe!!!  Hallelujah!  
-I can feel myself getting stronger and I'm taking strides to move-my-body more instead of parking next to the door, etc.
-Tried on a 26/28 from my closet today - I'm wearing it at work today!!! When I sit it's just a little tight in the stomache area but I'm wearing it & it's comfortable too!
-Decided to get some water shoes for the pool - the last work out when I did all my 'froggers" tore up teh bottoms of my big toes like mad! Going to get some gloves too, the kind that are webbed to add more resistance in the pool.
-Moved up from 3lb weights to 5lb.  Doing some arm exercises whenever I'm sitting down at home.

Really glad I've decided to make this JOURNEY and understand that it's a PROCESS - not something that happens in a month or two.

Husband told me about people visiting later in the year, he said "you'll probably be really small by then".  I honestly don't even want to 'project' my weight loss, just want to stay focused.  However......if I lose 10lbs a month, I'll be 240ish when they come. That's 70lbs in 7 months. It's all about my choices.  HELLER -----MS. Thang - - CHOOSE WISELY!

Thankful for a few wow moments...

Apr 22, 2009

I want to lose weight slowly, been noticing a LOT of women that lose it fast have to have tummy tucks, etc. I'm going slowly but surely and thankful for the journey.  All other attempts at losing weight have caused _great_ frustration because I wasn't losing enough-fast enough. God has surely opened my eyes to the PROCESS.

Today in the car, I noticed I can see the seat between my legs (ummm...ok...knee area, not leg area). Don't know how long it's been, but QUITE some time!  My seats in PERFECT condition cuz it's always been "totally" covered!!! 

Haven't eaten a burritto in a few months, today scraped out the meat/cheese/beans out of the middle & called it a day.  The wrap was bigger than a dinner plate and I balled it up just to see how it looked - I got grossed out thinking how it would be sitting on my stomach - like a huge, slimey snowball.  No, it's not the healthiest choice but it worked today.    It's actually NICE not to have a stuffed feeling. I take a few bites & I'm done.

GNC vitamins are really good - the ones for Active women. 

Whenever I have a few spare minutes, I grab my weights and get to working these arms.  The kids are joining me at the pool, walking outside, on the elliptical and eating healthy!  I did so many lunging-laps at the pool that I scraped the skin off of the bottom of both big toes.  Still doing my  3lb weights to and from work in the car. OhhhOhhh..and another thing, I actually felt my arm muscle moving the other day when I had my arms crossed!  (Arm crossing was not an option before - still not so easy if you're 316 & 46DDD).  Hallelujah, thank you Jesus!!!

One of my daughter noticed that my legs look "different" to her - I "currently" have the bumpy/lumpy/old-lady legs with meat-chunks smackin together in between.   Another of my daugthers said "Mamma, yo hills on yo back are shrinking" - then she said I used to be THIS big (arms stretched as far as possible) but now I'm this big (arms a little closer together). I gave her a hug & kiss & wanted to cry.

I'm really looking forward to "slow & steady wins the race" - I only weight on Sunday mornings - 300 even!!!!!!!!!  Whoop-whoop!!!!!  I feel great after only 16 lbs down, my goal is 195 but not been that size since....birth?!?! 

My starting point...

Apr 16, 2009

Making eating/drinking protein & moving my body top priorities.

Cutting out as many carbs as possible and feeling the difference! Thank you Jesus! 
Good to be on this board with people who have the same goals AND those who have been down this road before & still are willing to offer a helping hand to the beginners.

Want to keep my focus but not too far ahead.  I've got a bit of weight to lose (100lbs) but I can only commit to ONE pound at a time.    Even started doing my 3 pound weights on the drive to and from home - I'm beginning to see a difference in my arms! WhooHOOO!

I can do this with the help of the LORD and my peeps on this site.   

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Mar 19, 2009
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