Melanie B.
July 3rd, 2008
Jul 03, 2008
So I still haven't heard from Barix on my date. Last week when I spoke with Dr. Marymour's assistant she told me I was being sent to scheduling this week. So i waited until today and called because i hadn't heard from them yet - she told me that the schedulers put a note in my file that they called me and left me a message yesterday (no message exists) to set up my date. And of course they are out today and won't be back until Monday. wah.
so the wait (weight) continues. Hopefully Monday i will have a date.
We leave for the shore tomorrow afternoon for the holiday weeked. I just can't wait until next summer when i won't be a fat hot mess on the beach.
July 2, 2008
Jul 02, 2008
June 23rd
Jun 23, 2008
Too Much Booty
Jun 21, 2008
June 19th
Jun 19, 2008
Went to my first Barix support meeting last night, it was a post-op meeting and I figured it would be me and 2 other people (picturing them both sipping big bottles of water)
I got there at about 6:30pm and immediately started eyeballing everyone...wondering...did they have surgery yet? how far out are they? did she have surgery or is she just here to support someone who has....yada yada. To my surprise there was about 75-100 people there.
The meeting itself was neat - I got to see some pretty skinny people who had once been not so skinny - and some only a few months out. The photo books were coming around and I just couldn't wait to SEE for myself the before and after. I can't wait to have my own photo book.
After the meeting I introduced myself to Dennis and Jen. Jen was celebrating her one year "surgiversay" this girl is STUNNING and has a kicking body! She read a VERY emotional blog that captured what this past year had been like for her. It was not all pretty, that's for sure. I identified with so many of the things she wrote - the potential to regret that self inflicted rearrangement of your ORGANS - the fear of the unknown 5, 10 , 20 years down the road etc. When I saw Jen's photo book, I felt as if I was looking at my twin (my fat twin) we are built about the same way (of course not today, but a year ago) and it just gave me such an intense RUSH that hold SHIT in a year I too could look like that stunning girl sitting across from me with the kicking body wearing a short jean skirt.
So as i was leaving, i recognized a girl who i had JUST been looking at her pictures on OH a day earlier. I asked her "are you on OH" and yes she was! Of course I then instantly felt like some creepy stalker - but it faded. It also turned out we had the same surgeon - so THIS was perfect! An end result of Dr. Marymor's work. So needless to say my questions just started rolling. I really feel that Dora was put in my path last night to help me make my final decision if i would have the surgery done laproscopically or open.
It has been this nagging undecided thing for me for a week but in the end for me, I think I would be safer to go with an open procedure. So now more than ever I'm excited (still terrified) to start my new life. Thank you again to all those who spent time talking to me.
xoxo
M
June 16th
Jun 16, 2008
However I also understand that a very small percentage of people die from the actual surgery (0.2-0.5%) - i think the risk is the same for WLS as it is for any surgery to die on the table. What I am realizing now is that to some extent I will be a walking time bomb and that complications from rerouting your entire digestive system could occur at anytime.
So I ask myself, why dont you just buck it up and eat less and exercise (ummm because being morbidly obese will kill you just as easily as surgery some day) and the honest answer is - I just can't and/or wont.
So this honestly seems to be my only option. (well yes I could always rermain FAT)
I didn't ask a million questions when I fist met my surgeon as he really seemed to answer the obvious ones before I even got to ask them...but I am compiling a list now that i will ask to have answered.
1. What is the mortality rate of your surgical patients?
2. What is the most common complication for your patients?
3. Do you feel more confident doing and open vs. a lap (I swear I really think he does from talking to himand I'd rather have a 7 inch zipper scar and be alive then 6 little lap holes and have complications (only to end up with a 12 nceh zipper scar)
4. what sign are you? (kidding, but I am curious)
5. Since Barix is a surgical center and not a full hospital what happens if things go terribly wrong? Are they prepared? I keep thinking of the poor 18 year old HS student who got a boob job at a surgical center and had a bad reaction from the anesthesia and died
Ok that's enough paranoia for one afternoon.
xoxo
M
Jun 15, 2008
Jun 14, 2008
Sleep Study #2 for Mild Sleep Apnea
Well that was a joy. 
I spent my Saturday night wired for sound and breathing through a god awful CPAP mask. It was pretty much as bad as I had imagined and I don't think I got much sleep since the mask was squealing all night long - however the tech informed me this morning that I had "slept pretty good" so who knows. 
I apologize for not getting a picture WITH the mask on, but should have a CPAP of my very own in the next few weeks that I will post.
Interestingly I also have a pretty wicked case of Restless Leg Syndrome like the tech had "never seen before" and THIS more than the apnea may be why I have such distruptive sleep. Who knew. 
I will say that even though I felt like I slept like crap, I feel amazingly refreshed this morning - I suppose breathing really isn't overrated. 
