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September 1, 2006
Weight 243

 

I attended the support group meeting at Memorial City Hospital on 8/24/06.  Once again, I enjoyed the meeting.  It was bittersweet, though because the program manager-Kimberly Taylor , resigned from the hospital and will no longer be facilitating the meetings.  It was my first time meeting her and she was quite an inspiration.  Very pretty lady and she looks good weight-wise.  We have to wait and see if they will continue meetings there.  If not, I will still go to my group at Cy-fair hospital because I still don't know what hospital I will go to for my surgery. 

 

On September 1, 2006 (yesterday), I went for my 4th visit with my pcp for my diet/weight management.  I sucked!! BIG TIME.  I gained 6 pounds from last month's visit.  It was my own fault because I had been slipping on eating right and half-assed exercising.  My doctor made sure I knew that this was the absolute wrong thing to do because he said my doctor would not do my surgery if I didnt show that I could change my lifestyle and commit to the program.  Well, commitment is my middle name, I am so committed to getting healthier, its not even funny.  I am so tired and run down with this weight and this heat.  I am officially the heaviest I have ever been in my life.  He sho right!!!  Well, I must get on the stick, for real this time. 

 

The dr. told me that I need to eat lean protein, veggies, and not veggies loaded with butter (how'd he know that??), he said no soda, not even diet and of course no sweets or junk. ok, ok, ok, I can do this.  And I need to keep exercising.  He increased my blood pressure meds (again) because it was the usual--but it wasnt real bad to me, but it was elevated.  The weather will get cooler.  August is over and I lived through the heat (didnt think I could) but it has been a little cooler (not really) but I can honestly say that I will go outside and use my gas grill instead of just looking at it through the window cuz its too hot!  I can do a lot better if I zap some food on that grill and then pack my lunch for the next day. 

 

During the week, my husband and son fend for themselves so I can concentrate on me, me, me.  I wrote out my plan and I will list it here to keep me honest. 

 

My next appointment is October 2, 2006 (my 36th birthday).  He wants me to lose 5 pounds by that visit and another 5 pounds by November.  November will be my last official visit.  I can do this.  I have done it before, I am committed, I am ready.

 

I told my friends at work that we have to get on the ball (again).  No eating out, we must work out every day and they must make sure I go.  No more messing around now, its crunch time!!  I got lots of support from them.  My sister and I talked too.  She wants the lap band but she is soooo not big enough.  But she wants to lose weight, but did I mention, she is so not big enough.  She is not fat at all but thinks she is, but she just needs to tone and do a little more cardio and she will be ok.   

 

I keep telling her she can get herself a self-paid lap band in Mexico and I would accompany her cuz no insurance company in their right mind would agree that she needs any help with weight loss.  She laughs at the self-paid part, like she has that kind of money sitting around but hey, if you want something bad enough, you might be willing to do it.  She's my kookoo scorpio sister, but she's mine so what can I say?? I love her in spite of her flaws and stuck with her. 

 

Its funny, my older brother, who just had a birthday 8/31/06 (love ya Driver!!), is tall and skinny as a rail and just turned 42. My younger brother has tendencies to be overweight, my sister has always been a size 4 (until after she had babies) but she has still kept her weight under control and is turning 40 in November!  I got stuck with the overweight genes!!  Well, guess thats part of the plan, only the strong survive! 

 

So we will start officially with my "plan" on Wednesday, 9/6/06.

The plan:

Wednesday, September 6, 2006-Sunday, October 1, 2006

Dr. appointment on Monday, October 2, 2006

Eating

•No Fried Food

•No Sweets/Snacks

•2 diet sodas a week/ only drink water, crystal light, propel

 

 •Lean Protein (meat, fish, tuna and protein drinks)

•Complex carbs- low sugar/white flour products(white flour is the devil!!)

•Vegetables

•Fruit

 

Exercise

•Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday evenings, Saturday morning 

 

Behavior Modification

•Weigh and log weight daily

•No snacks (except fruit and carb control yogurt)

 

Goal

•Lose 10 pounds September 6-October 2, 2006 (goal weight – home 231.8; dr. office 233)—DONE--- weight 231 10/2/06

•Lose 10 pounds October 2, 2006-November 1, 2006 (goal weight-home 221.8; dr. office 223)

•Maintain weight at 223 from November 2-December 1, 2006

•Final appointment December 1, 2006 (Just a formality-will be my 7th appointment- insurance requires 6 months/180 days--I will meet that on 11/27/06) 

 

Well, this was pretty long but I had to put it here cuz I have to document this so that I don't lose sight of my intentions.  I must go now, going shopping at Sam's tomorrow to get all of my goodies so that I can pack my lunch like a diligent little soldier.

 

 

 

AMF!!!

Hello all.  I am just updating my profile to list today's activities.  Not too much, I did call my insurance company after reading someone's post today about being denied due to insurance having an exclusion.  I spoke with Aaron at my ins co and she was very nice and pleasant and said , "absolutely bariatric surgery is covered under your plan" and proceeded to send me to the website to confirm all of the requirements (which I know already).  She said "the requirements are very detailed so I want to make sure to go to the website" and as long as I have done everything that they ask, they will approve it.  Ok, got that out of the way. woo hoo!!

 

I went to the Cy-fair hospital support group meeting tonight.  It was interesting and informative but a little less "formal" than the group at memorial hermann.

 

The time was spent listening to a personal trainer for 24 hour fitness.  He had a lot of good information and shared everything with us.  Poor guy though, made a couple of comments that could have gotten him thrown out of the room by WLS patients but I don't think he is insensitive, just made a couple of slip-ups.  It was all good.  Everyone enjoyed him.

 

After he spoke, everyone just mingled around.  I met a lot of people, lot of familiar faces of people that I see on this board all the time. I feel like I know them already.  One lady I talked to, I was going to ask her, "you're a nurse aren't you", because I remembered her posts but I didnt have to because she started talking about work and brought it up.  It was so strange.

 

Very nice group of people though and I look forward to going next month and the coming months.  What I did get from the post-ops is that THIS IS HARD!! I already figured as such.  I equate it to the experience of childbirth.  You can read as much as you want and listen to stories about how it will be but it will not be real to you until you are on the table with your legs in the stirrups having the baby ripped from your body.  I feel what they saying and I will not begin to say that I know how hard it will be until I have done it myself.

 

I have a lot of admiration for people who have had surgery, just as I do for people who have given birth (thanks Mom!) and thanks to the anesthesiologist for those wonderful- mind numbing narcotics!! Had it not been for the drugs and for the fact that I had a relatively small baby, you might have heard me screaming all the way to Austin (well maybe not, I am not really a screamer).

 

I still can't wait until I have it done.  I am tired of being tired, sweating all the time and out of breath.  I know it will be hard.  But I also know that it will be worth it and I can accomplish anything that I set my mind to and this is no exception.

 

I did get some tips on protein drinks and ordered a few samples online tonight.  I will try them when I fast again at the end of the month.  I plan on fasting at the end of every month so that I am clean and clear when I go to see my doctor.

 

Most of the group went to Jason's Deli after the meeting and I told them I will join them sometimes but tonight, I had to go home right after because my husband had to go to work and I had to get back to my baby.

 

Well, I am signing off now, got to go to the "gig" tomorrow and the morning will soon be here.  Once again, I will be fighting the old snooze button.  But I do thank the Lord every morning that I wake up in my right mind, with full activity of my limbs (even when I don't wake up in my right mind, I wake up and that is major!!).

 

Thanks for reading and God Bless.

August 1, 2006

Diet/exercise appointment with Dr. Nguyen

Weight: 237

 

I'm back!  Went to the doctor today for visit #3 of the 6 month diet plan.  Guess what?? I lost weight.  Ok, I am still heavier than when I went to the doctor in May but down from when I went on July 5.  I attribute the weight loss to the 2.5 day fruit/veggie fast that I did this weekend.  "And the church said.....Amen" Cuz that was hard.  Well, really it was not too bad.  I started Sunday and did it through Monday.  Ate nothing but fruit, water, veggies- lettuce mainly, a little cheese on my salad and roasted chicken.  No soda, no crystal lite, nothing but plain old water and plain old tea.  Well, I weighed on my scale Sunday morning and it said 244.4 pounds.  I weighed on Monday morning and it said 237.2.  Well, today it said 235.8.  When I went to the doctor this morning, I weighed 237.  So I know I lost a little, maybe about 3 pounds or so which is not terribly bad since Sunday.

 

Anyhoo, the visit went well and everything documented.  I have added a ticker here and all over the place to count down my 180 day "diet and exercise plan" just to keep myself sane.

 

My mom and I went today to the museum to see "body works 3".  It was basically the human body in all its glory.  They showed every body part in all different kinds of ways.  It was really amazing and truly worth the 44.00 that my mom paid to get in.  Thanks Mom!!! I owe her, oh what the hell, I always owe her cuz she always does things for us and everybody else.  She is truly a good good person.

 

What was interesting about the museum is that they showed all of the muscles in the body but you saw the muscles and the organs and all without the skin so you truly had an in-depth look at the body.  There was this one at the end that showed a "slice" of a man who is over 300 pounds and one of normal weight.  They showed the fat liver, the fatty deposits around the heart and organs and it was just amazing how that fat looks and to think that we are lugging this around day in and day out.  Its enuf to make you go insane.  It was funny to see that.

 

I got a chance to see an enlarged heart compared to a normal size, enlarged liver, and all other very interesting things that I do not wish to inflict on my very own body.

 

I'll close with this, my mom and I talk a lot about her coworkers who have had the surgery and this on in particular, the lady lost a lot of weight and says she still wants to lose 10-20 more.  She said a lot of people at work talk about how she looks sick and how she needs to stop losing weight, etc.  Well, I told my mom that that would be the normal reaction to people who have known her fat.  They cannot imagine her looking different and probably feeling different.  I told her they can say what they want about me, whether they think I look crackish, frail jill, olive oil, whatever, I will lose this weight because it will feel good.  The body will stop losing once it is ready and there is no need for that lady or anyone else to rush to stop it.  So I say to her, girl, keep on doin' the damn thang, keep on keepin' on, don't worry about what people say, cuz some people are hatin' anyway.

 

And if you are so worried about it, why don't you walk a mile in my shoes with my aching feet, my heavy breathing, my sweaty body, my legs and everything else rubbing together along with my sore back and high blood pressure and then tell me how you feel.

 

Then I got back to my mom's house and she showed me the pictures --before and after- of the girl, I expected to see the girls ribs and expect her to look like Whitney, she didn't.  She looked like a normal sized person, face was filled out, not sucked in like I expected.  Her before picture looks like she was swole up and tired but she was still smiling.  The after picture showed a perfectly healthy looking individual.  I took pics of the picture on my camera phone and showed my husband.  I asked him if that girl look sick.  He said no, she doesnt, who is she.  So, I went on to tell him the story and showed him her before picture.  We summed it up again to say that people need to stop hatin' and the girl looks fine.

 

I told him that my plan is to have surgery in December of this year and within 6 months or so, I should have my body almost back to where it needs to be.  He then said, then you gonna have to cut those off again too (the breasts), yeah, hate to see em' go, (wrong answer). But yes, I told him I will be looking to get these things gone by the end of next year.  I got a high five for that.  He is definitely ready for me to do this.

 

Ok, so I am really closing now.  Got to go get IRS tax stuff together to file tomorrow (thanks Sheila!!).  We got an extension until August 15, 2006.  Until next time...........................

July 27, 28 and 29, 2006 (warning:  long, rambling post)

 

I attended my 2nd support group meeting at Memorial City Hermann Hospital tonight.  It was a really good group and the meeting was very informative.  I met many pre-ops and post-ops so the experience was a good one.  Trudy was our facilitator for the evening.  Kimberly is the normal facilitator but she worked for Trudy on Sunday so Trudy was returning the favor.  Trudy is 7 years post op with the VBG and she looks really good.  We also had Katherine-registered dietitian/nutrition person there too. 

 

We talked about how different people can eat different things even if you are at the same stage of pre-op “edness”, and how you just have to pay attention to your body.  We discussed ways of exercising during the heat –do it inside!! Do ya hear me??

 

We also discussed things we wanted to do when we got to goal weight.  There were a lot of insurance questions from us pre-ops and lots of questions about plastic surgery afterwards.  I basically said I am going to start now with my documentation because when the bra comes off, all hell breaks loose! And the rub under the stomach is not a good thing, repeat after me, the rub is not a good thing.  I go thru so much powder its not even funny.  I had the pleasure of meeting this little old lady and she is 15 months out and cute as she can be. She said, honey you probably won’t need any plastic surgery because you are so young and your skin will bounce back.  Well, she has not seen this dunlap (the belly dun lapped ova).  It ought to be illegal.  I thought it was very nice of her to say that but Lawd, have Mercy on me.  The meeting was over at 9pm and some of us stayed over talking.  I plan to attend all those meetings (except Nov and Dec because they will not have them due to the holidays).  I still plan on attending the cy-fair hospital too because a sista can’t get enough support.  I am like an alcoholic except its with food

 

I talked to my best friend on Friday night and we talked at length about this surgery. She wants breast implants, I want to get rid of my “hooters”.  It’s so funny that when you have something, you want what someone else has.  I personally would like to be a part of the IBTC, I would like not to only be a member, but the president.  She feels like she is flat chested—ok she is…but still.  I say, walk a mile in my shoes and you won’t ever wish for that in your life.  I actually had a breast reduction in 1988.  At that time, they just reduced, they didn’t lift them back then, so of course, everything is headed south and they are heavy, heavy, heavy.

 

We talked a lot about psychological impacts before the surgery and just about life in general.  You know, I try keep everything in perspective, I am wishing and hoping and praying to get approved for surgery and for it to go well for me and then to have plastic surgery and get it all prettied up but if for some reason it is not destined for me to have it, so be it.  I will just go on with my life.  I am not slitting my wrists over anything.  And that’s the way that you have to look at things.

 

I have officially stopped watching the news.  I would watch the 11am news (on my off day), 5pm, 6pm, 9pm and 10pm news.  I also watch dateline, primetime, 20/20 and nightline.  Ok, no wonder I have anxiety at night.

 

She had 3 words for me---“med- I- cation”.  Well, I have relieved myself of that anxiety without medication because I cannot function on 2 hours of sleep.  It seems that every little news story that I hear, I immediately fret and focus on it, it could be so far removed from any situation that I ever encountered but I somehow find a way to relate it to me, my family, my friends, my kid or whatever.  So, just cut all that out, I ain’t watchin’ the news, OK.

 

I am rambling.  But, another thing that was good from the meeting, I won a magazine- the WLS lifestyles magazine.  Trudy wanted to know what was 1 thing that you want to do when you lose the weight.  I was the first to raise my hand when she was giving out prizes.  She gave out 3 magazines.  I said I want to run again.  I was a runner.  I can’t run now because I hurt when I run and I am soooo out of shape.  That is one of my big goals.

 

Anyway, I started reading the magazine at lunch and it is really a good one, it talks about the technological advances in weight loss surgery and how surgeons are starting to use robotic assistance more and more during surgery.  I don’t know how far we are with that.  I digress.  The main thing that I got from the magazine is the article about weight regain—there I go again, relating myself to another story.  I feel strongly about this because this one is so real and so true, I know people who have regained the weight after the surgery.  My girlfriend and I talked last night about this.

 

Regaining this weight is NOT, I repeat, is NOT an option for me.  I feel like I must do this for the rest of my life and I cannot allow myself to fail at this.  Of course, God is at the wheel of this car that I am riding in (of course, He is driving) and I know that He will see fit for me to work the tool that I am given.

 

Basically there are some things that people miss when they start to regain—I will list them here:

 

•           People who regain miss the part about this being a lifestyle change.  Obesity is a disease.  There is no cure.  There is no quick fix or no magic bullet.  It takes work and it is not easy.

•           They miss the fact that people that are fit and slim and healthy do EXERCISE and if they slip up or stop exercising, that the end result will more than likely be weight gain.

•           This surgery alone, once you get past 1 – 1 ½ years, will no longer work by itself with just calorie restriction.  You must continue to control your portions.

•           People that have WLS should only eat 5 ounces of food maximum at a time.  This is FOREVER.  If you begin to take in more food at 1 time, your pouch will get bigger and will tolerate more food.   Some people who are further out, can eat 1 cup of food, which, for those mathematically challenged, is about 8 ounces of food.  Of course, starting out, you can/should usually only hold 1 ounce or so.

•           Do not snack or graze (I have heard this soooo much).  Eat your meals, plan your snacks and outside of that, do not eat.

•           Leave food on your plate if you go out to dinner or even if you are at home and fix yourself too much.

•           Do not take food home with you as leftovers.  If you have leftovers, you have ordered too much food and you need to work on your perception of what you “need” to eat at one time.  This is mind control and it is so critical to the success of this program people.

•           Carbs are NOT YOUR FRIEND.  Sugar is NOT YOUR FRIEND.  White flour products are the DEVIL and they should never become part of your eating ever again.

 

If you have the surgery and start to regain weight, go back to basics- the basics are listed above.  You should NEVER have to take a diet pill, you should NEVER have to go on another diet.  Use your tool, and use it forever.  Lord, give me strength.  We have to be responsible and take control of our lives and our diet, cuz when the rubber meets the road, it all depends on the individual to make the best of it

 

I have not had the surgery so I can’t really speak on what people might feel nor can I speak on how difficult it may be, but what I do know for sure is that it takes a lot of strength, prayer, will power, and a fierce amount of commitment and control to do the right thing and to do it forever.  I am in no way minimizing anyone’s struggle, I am simply basing my thought process around what I have personally witnessed.  And I don’t want to be in that number.

 

My friend at work and I resumed working out at the company provided gym downstairs.  My company, which is an excellent company, has a really big commitment to fitness and wellness of their employees, so we have a fully equipped gym in the basement that costs 15.00 per month.  We re-joined so now we have no excuse to work out.  I still have no excuses because I belong to 2 other gyms that I am paying for, so this again makes #3.  Whatever it costs for me to get the workout, I will do. 

 

I plan on working out with her during the week so that I can just go downstairs and get it over with before I go home for the evening.  My husband is wonderful in that he picks up my son from daycare so that I can work out after work.  Well, he has been doing this for almost 2 years (since my son first started going to daycare) so the least I can do it actually GO to the gym and workout.  I will change schedules in September so I may start back going to 24 hour fitness after work like I used to but no matter what, I plan to keep my workouts going.

 

Well, my friend has lost over 35 pounds, she can now walk about 25 minutes straight on the treadmill.  We were going to the gym in February of this year and she could not walk 10 minutes without stopping and had to spend about 10 minutes to regroup.  I am soooo proud of her now because she obviously needed to drop some weight in order to get to a point to even begin to work out.  I told her that our next focus is to get on the treadmill and be able to sing while we walk or jog—because we are both singers, that should not be a difficult task.  Ok, I know that may be 2008 but still, its something to shoot for.

 

I felt good working out and I want to have my workouts solidly where they need to be BEFORE having surgery.  I will post again on Tuesday, 8/1/06 after my diet/exercise dr. appointment.  Well, I think I have rattled on enough and I will close for now.  Thanks for visiting my site.  Be Blessed!

Greetings!! Today is Tuesday, July 18 2006, my sister's 8th year wedding anniversary.  They got married 2 months after we did.  My husband and I also had our 12 year anniversary of meeting each other.  We met July 16, 1994 at ..................... drumroll please................  A club!  -  Happy anniversary to us and to my sis and husband!

 

I decided last week that I was going to willingly attempt to lose some of this weight while I am waiting for diet/exercise appointments.  I went back to weight watchers today.

 

I weighed in at 238.4 and I am still 5'2 so I am still morbidly obese, as if anyone thought that changed :).

 

I started back journaling and will try to lose at least (and at the most) 15 pounds before I finish my appointments to submit for approval to insurance.  I cannot get below 220 pounds as I will no longer be eligible.  I am so large, yet so small :)  Its crazy.  I don't want to risk being lower than 40 BMI and it cannot hurt to lose some of this weight for real for real.  So, along with going to WW and paying 32.00 to join again (price increase), I also started back on my protein shake, plan to drink 1 per day, I bought multi vitamin and started those today and also bought some viactiv calcium chews and started those.

 

I have to really be anal about losing / not losing / maintaining but not maintaining it’s a vicious cycle but such as my life.  I will update here as needed.

 

I have not made any phone calls to my surgeon’s office but I find that if I wait a little, Blanca will call me, they are just good like that.  I like the fact that they are looking out for me too and just biding my time until I complete these ridiculous appointments for the insurance.  It seems like I am rambling right now, so I would like to spare anyone reading this.  BTW, I was on the BAF board last night and they were talking about the BAF ball in 2007 in Houston .  I volunteered to help out in the planning.  Whether I will be a pre-op or post-op when that comes around remains to be seen, it is in Gods hand but I still want to help.  Besides, I have a lot of friends that have had the surgery that would be interested in participating with others in this journey and that sounds like it will be fun.

 

I will call Dr. F. office sometime next week to check on the following:  results from my echo, do they have dr. notes from diet visits for june and july (they were sending them last tuesday), I need to fill out release forms to get records from my ob/gyn (from 2004-current) and also from the diet dr that I went to last year and this year--I called and they said they can send my records but I need to fill out release and they will fax them--that will complete my 1 year requirement and prove that I have been a bbw (big beautiful woman) all this time.  I went to that dr and got phetermine in november 2005 and again in feb 2006, look at me now, did it work? I think not.

 

On Saturday, a coworker of mine was killed in a tragic event, so tragic that it is just sad.  She was leaving a nightclub and crossing the street with 2 other people and some fool comes out of nowhere and hits them.  It was quite a shock to me personally and a shock to the workplace.  Not only that, this bar is frequented by a lot of people that I work with and it is just tragic that this persons life was cut short by such a selfish, unthinking act.  God save us all cuz this is hell on earth.  I have not slept since i heard about it Sunday and I didnt even know that it was someone who worked with us until Monday but had a bad feeling when I heard because I knew that a lot of people I know go there.  Anyway, I pray and pray for our salvation.  I know everything happens in God's time and it was His work so we can't question what happened.  Its just tough to deal with but you just must have faith that you will overcome this too and be stronger on the other end.  I am in prayer for her, her family , friends and others that she left behind in this mad, mad world.   God bless us all.

 

My friend from work came from a cruise this past week.  She had the best time and is already planning the next one.  Cruises are the best vacation, we went on one in 2002 and again in 2003 and we are long overdue for another.  I could cruise once or twice a year if I could afford it.

 

That being said, this week has been pretty uneventful, my step-daughter went back home to Louisiana , we miss her already, she is really a good kid and we love having her here.  My brother in law is in a play (he is in touch with his inner thesbian--my sis so country she kept telling me to stop calling her husband a lesbian :) this is his 3rd or 4th one at the church and he does quite well so that should be fun.

 

Nothing planned for the weekend but my baby will be going to the circus with my sis and her kids on friday so that is fun for him.  Other than working and coming home, I have nothing else going on right about now.  I know, its exciting but I am happy with my life even though to some it might be a little boring.  Until next time, may God bless you and keep you.

I had my echocardiogram yesterday.  It went well.  I had to get in some pretty compromising positions so that she could get to my heart beneath all of my voluptuosness (sp?).  The tech was really nice and finished quickly- about 15 minutes.

 

I also went to the Cy-fair informational meeting and met Dr. St. Laurent, Christina-the dietitician and Dee-Bariatric coordinator at Cy-fair.  The meeting was very informative and lasted about 2 hours and 15 minutes.  I was hoping to go to the support group meeting next door but was learning a lot more where I was so I stayed.  It is very interesting to see so many different people looking and seeking the same results.

 

Dr. St. Laurent was very thorough and friendly and didnt hesitate to answer any questions, he was quite knowledgable on the workings of everything, not just the surgery and aftercare but on insurance, hospital policies, history of weight loss surgeries, etc.  and he was really cute too (and young).  Anyhoo, he is not my surgeon but he has worked with Dr. Ferrari and gave good feedback about him.

 

He said Dr. F. mostly practices at Mem Hermann but that he does work out of Cy-fair if that is where you want to go--they are a Center of Excellence so thats a good thing.

 

  What also amazed me about the meeting is the type of questions that people asked, I guess I am a little biased because I am of the younger generation and know where to find answers to most of my questions.  Most of the questions asked, I could answer, and I feel like I could have answered them as well as the Dr. did.  I'm not saying that I am just that smart, but I have done so much research and read so much and asked so many questions that I can speak for hours on the topic of weight loss surgery.  RNY or Lap band.

 

There were people from Dallas and people from Oklahoma . We have lots of resources here in Texas and I guess I did not realize how Texas is on the cutting edge of technology in this field and that people have to come all the way here to get help.  Glad I am in Texas .  I plan to go to the next cy-fair support group meeting in August since I missed the one last night.  I am also planning to attend the support group at Memorial Hermann-Mem City Hosp.  I know that support is one of the biggest things that contribute to your success.  I know I felt that way about Weight Watchers, it helps to share your experiences with people that are going through the same thing that you are.

 

The Dr. spoke a lot about patient responsibility and that is something that I think is major.  A lot of people that I have seen have this surgery and do not take it seriously enough (in my opinion).  I am not going to risk my health by drinking soda-even diet, I have already stopped drinking it--, I don't smoke so that’s no problem but I don't understand how people that have the surgery still sit and gorge themselves on food.  I see it every day.  I know its hard, coming from someone who loves food and who wakes up in the morning talking with my friends about what we are doing for lunch.  However, I think that once you do this, there is no going back.  Where is the discipline?  My cousin, Tiffany always says, "we are going on a family diet".  Well, I will start the family diet and maybe get everyone else on track.  Everything is so centered around food but we will need to change that and get more active, which I am sure is not a problem.

 

I told my husband that the cabinets and refrigerator will begin to change.  We are currently eating up all the junk.  From here on out, I am buying nothing but fruit and healthy stuff, no chips ahoy, no golden oreos (those are the devil), I have even stopped buying soda.  I told him I will continue to buy his blue bell ice cream but will be buying tea and lemonade for him. 

 

He is very supportive, he will do whatever it takes for me to be successful.  He just goes with the flow and does not question me or my motives :)  This will really be quite easy because my husband and I used to eat really healthy in the past.  He is a meat and potatoes person and indulges in junk food every now and then so he won't miss this stuff either.  I am taking this time to prepare myself and saving money in the process.  My baby is just two years old so it is no big deal to him, he will eat what we eat.  If he wants junk, he can go to grandma's house cuz that's where the junk is (he he).

 

I know, I am still pre-op and I am a fine one to talk on restriction but I feel like once you have altered your body to create the foundation for what could be lifelong weight loss and maintenance, you should do all that you can do to maintain that.  The surgeon only does part, the diet and exercise part is up to you.

 

I ask lots of questions about vitamins, that is one thing that the doctor said people stop taking.  It is my understanding that because the food is going through you so fast, you lose vital nutrients and must replace them FOR LIFE.  This is not something I will take for granted.  I went to Sams and bought the giant tub of protein powder.  I was looking at the protein powder and picked up once but then at the end of the aisle, they were sampling this one.  It cost 18.00 but it is the monster size and it was really good.  It reminded me of the weight watchers smoothies that I used to buy.  I drank 4 scoops of the powder in 16 ozs of water and lots of ice that made about 32 ozs and drank that this morning.  It was quite good.  I am just trying to train my body to get used to these things. 

 

I have to start working on the vitamins.  A complete multivitamin is what the doctor recommends.  Now, I expect to have the vitamin "police" by my side to make sure I stick to this.  I know that I have the discipline to do whatever it is I need to do to maintain my health once I have taken this drastic step.

 

I also got a call from Dr. F. office from Blanca.  She was just checking in to see what all I had done.  She has the following:

 

•           Psyc letter

•           Dietician letter

•           Blood work- thyroid -normal, hplori-negative, cholesteral-elevated

•           Sleep study- I have mild obstructive sleep apnea- no treatment needed

•           Letter from nutritionist

•           Resuls from echo

 

She asked that I get Dr. Nguyens office to fax my notes after each appointment so they will have it.  I went by Dr. Nguyen office and they will fax over, no need for release forms or anything since Dr. F. office referred me over there.  So cool..I will check next week to make sure they got those notes and also the results from my echo(got ‘em).

 

Today, I emailed my best friends the link to this profile.  Tommie, Phyllis, Sonya and Sabrina are my closest friends in the world.  Veronica is my sisters friend but we have a great relationship too and I want to share this journey with her.  She has been very supportive of me in the past 10 years or so that I have known her.  I want all of them to know what I am trying to do because they will be by my side no matter what.  I have known my friends since I was 16.  They are all (slightly ) older than me and so much so that they used to call me their baby.  We became the best of friends instantly and have shared that friendship through all of lifes changes. 

 

I have already shared my profile with my family and will slowly get around to everyone else.  This is no secret(to the people who know me and support me), this is my life, its my story and I want to share it.

 

Well, thats a lot of updates so I will close here.  I did talk at length with one of my coworkers today, she is heading into the ministry (when her work is done in the outside world) and is a Christian.  The conversation was very good and I told her she needs to come talk with me every day.  I felt so good after I talked to her just about God and how He works and how good He is.  I consider myself a Christian and feel like that is how I live my life but it really felt good just to have the conversation, and it was so unexpected.  So, I left the conversation with this, everything happens in God's time and according to His word.  I just wanted to say that He walks with me all the time, I am His child and I love HIM.  Good night and God Bless!

July 8, 2006

 

I was out and about today.  I took my son to a birthday party and went shopping with my mother in law and sister in law, my daughter and niece.  My mom called me later and we were just talking.  She said she read my profile here (I emailed it to her) and it made her want to cry.  I asked why, she said, it was sad.  I asked why, because I am fat?(hehe- I really crack myself up)  I wanted to know if it was depressing or why she felt sad.  I don't want my mom to feel sad when she reads my profile.  She tends to be a little "sensitive" though. 

 

I feel that everything I am today, I owe to my parents.  My parents should be very happy that they raised a respectable, hard-working, intelligent, well-rounded and lovable individual (that is me).  I want both my parents to know that I am who I am today because of them.  They have always supported me, even when I was wrong, they never wavered.  They have always had my back.  I know that no matter how messed up their kids are, they love us anyway and it makes me happy to be able to live the life that I live today and give back to my kids and family like I have always gotten. 

 

I listened to TD Jakes on the TV and he said something that stuck with me, "what you make happen for others, God make happen for you" and I believe this with all my heart.  I always talk to people and try to be a role model, I try to always be positive, yet honest and I want to always be that way.   I have always lived my life and wanted to give, share, inspire and promote others.  I feel like God has blessed me tremendously and is continuing to bless me to this very day.  I don't want my Mom to be sad, I want her to be proud.  I want to show her the old me- the one that was always in front of the camera, not hiding behind the potted plant (or the small kid), I seem to do that so often now.  Overall though, I am very happy with my life, my marriage, my home, my job (even though stressful) and am so pleased that I have my family always in my corner. 

 

So, to my mom reading this, don't be sad, rejoice with me and help me as I go through this very critical part of my life, trying to transform my body back into the body that we had all come to know and love :}  I know this is sappy, but its my damn journal so I can get sappy. Cuz I'm grown and I can do what I want :P  Thats all I had to write about today.  I will post more after my support group meeting next Tuesday 7.11.06. TTFN

 

July 5, 2006

Appointment #2 with Dr. Nguyen

Weight: 242 (going the wrong way)

 

I had appointment #2 with my doctor regarding my diet/exercise regimen.  I told him I have been journaling my food intake, exercising 5 times a week and cutting out fried foods and sweets.  This is not working but it is what it is.  Anyway, I got yelled at about my blood pressure because I had not taken my medicine that morning and it was high as hell. 

 

Well, I truly believe that my blood pressure has become increasingly more difficult to manage.  It, like my weight, is going up, not down.  Gotta get a handle on this.  Anyhoo, the appointment went well, the doctor asked for my lab results and his office will be gathering those so that they can try to make some sense of my issues.  God bless.  Until next time....

June 28, 2006

 

I received a copy of the letter from my psychologist's office that was submitted to my surgeon.  I wanted to share that here so that others could get a laugh out of what was in the letter.  The letter stated:

 

"Patient presented herself in an intact manner, appropriately oriented.  Her memory appears intact and has no apparent difficulty maintaining focus.  She presented a favorable attitude in her outlook on life but has deep concerns from medical standpoint.  She seems familiar with bariatric surgery, understands that the surgery will not be easy but believes she can become motivated to do what it takes to be successful. She has support and looks forward to the prospect of reducing pain, preventing future medical issues and having more energy to live a more complete and active life. If deemed medically necessary, bariatric surgery appears to be an appropriate course of action for this patients weight problems since other attempts at losing weight have been unsuccessful.  Following surgery, participating in a peer group is advised in order to reinforce healthy behavior and provide consistent support.  If patient experiences emotional issues following surgery, consultation with a psychologist would be in order. "

 

I shared the letter with my friend at work and we had a good long laugh about "she presented herself in an intact manner, intelligence appears to be at least within average range and speech normal".  The "intact" part was funny and we both got a good laugh.  I just wanted to share this in case someone else is wondering what a referral letter from a clinical psychologist might look like.  It was a favorable, supportive letter.

 

My friend is very excited and supportive of me having surgery.  She had hers in May and is doing very well.  We both talk about the day when we will be able to share a lunch plate and save money and be fine and healthy.  I always tell her, I know I must look like a greedy fool when I see what she eats and what I currently eat.  I know this will all change and I will do right, I always have done right so I know I will be successful at this. 

 

I am learning a lot from her and hope that she does not get tired of me asking a million dumb questions about her.  I want to be a sponge-I want to support her but also want to learn for myself too what i will and wont be able to do.   My sister also has some good friends that had the surgery and she knows all about it.  My mom works with some ladies that had it as well, so she understands what is involved.  Well, gotta go.

 

I attended my family reunion today- my dad's family- there are 16 kids and there were 22 grandkids (back in 1988), I have lost track now.  We attended and it was a good turnout- again, my problem was my weight-- I had headaches that morning and my blood pressure was up--but once I took the medicine, I was fine.  But when I got home from work to change clothes, I was "poured" into my clothes.  These are jeans that are normally comfortable but I was not comfortable.  When I got to the reunion, I saw all of my aunts, uncles, cousins and their kids. 

 

I noticed all of the women and most of the men were overweight, the one thing that we have in common is that they are really happy people, fun-loving, loud, cheery, jolly people.  I really love those people, that is my family, my blood but I do not want that for my future.

 

  It’s funny but some of them are seemingly happy and some appear not to be.  I know how I feel inside about my weight and it bothers me.  In addition to that, every time I have lost weight, my blood pressure has not been a problem.  I saw my dad.  Thanks Dad for all of the health problems :) I know its not his fault, but it is his traits that I have picked up. 

 

My siblings do not have the health problems that I have, I am glad they don't but I know they understand mine and how I struggle with it and have for years.  I want to be out and comfortable roaming around the room--its not that I was not comfortable/confident, but it was just I was physically uncomfortable so I sat at the table most of the night. 

 

God bless anyone reading this.  This is really therapy for me and I hope that something that I say might be able to help someone else.  I know that when I read some of the profiles here, I can definitely relate to others and it helps me to know that someone else can understand what I am going thru.  I want to be that same help to someone else if I can.

 

I have the following things left to do:

 

Dr. Nguyen for #6 diet/exercise appt-- scheduled November 2, 2006

 

Also, as with everything else that I do, with focus and determination (I seek the truth and want a FULL understanding of what I am doing).  I am doing my research and have purchased the following books that I am reading right now (yes, I am reading all of them):

 

•           Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies

•           Exodus from Obesity

•           The Doctors Guide to Weight Loss Surgery

•           Gastric Bypass Surgery (Everything you need to know to make an informed decision)