"normal"

Dec 11, 2012

I'm spending a lot of time on thes OH forums trying to learn as much as I can about people's experience and insights and trying to learn tricks and tools for when it's my turn. I also keep reading member blogs because I keep trying to map a time table of when people begin to feel normal again. I'm nervous, and I just want to be comforted by the idea that at some point after struggling with the pre-op diet, procedure, and post-op diet, I'll be able to live my life as I do now, but healthier. Then I had this realization: I'm not going to feel "normal" according to my current standard ever again. And that scares me a lot. But whenever I feel that overwhelming fear, I have to remind myself that that's the point of the surgery! To stop what I was comfortable with, and start again, the right way. When I get scared, I'm going to have to remind myself that these first long weeks and months are going to be difficult, and there's going to be a lot of adjusting to do, but at least I had the support and opportunity to, yes, be scared s**tless, but also to do something about how obese, unhealthy, and weak I've been.

If I ever do start feeling normal again, i'll have to take it as a sign of backsliding into habits that gor me in this mess in the first place!

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