Day 38 (55lbs lost)

Apr 12, 2012

It's been a bit over a month, and I've lost 55 lbs.  Clothes have been too baggy, and I've had to buy new clothes. I've also been able to fit into old clothes that I outgrew over the past couple of years as I gained weight.  It's feeling pretty great.  And the little things are feeling great too -- like fitting into seats without feeling and looking uncomfortable. I'm more confident, and I've been working out at the gym.  The other day I went to a restaurant for the first time -- I had to go for work.  I was worried, but I got salmon, and asked for no dressing, butter, or oil, and I just avoided all of the sides.  I ate about half of it, and felt very satisfied.  I was glad it went well -- that I didn't get sick, and also that it didn't feel awkward or embarrassing making a special request in the order.  So far I'm feeling really great- and I already would really recommend this surgery to anyone who is in a similar position as I was --super morbidly obese, stuck, on a really terrible health trajectory, and with a lot to live for.  I have the most beautiful 14 month old daughter, and I have been able to roll around on the floor with her and take her for walks, and spend time outside with her.  I truly feel that within one month this surgery has helped me be a better dad.   

I must say- as trite as it sounds, and as often as they repeat it -- this surgery really is a tool. I've been surprised at how much will power is still involved.  I could make really bad decisions. I think I could tolerate more food than I'm eating, and other foods that are not on the recommended diet.  But I'm feeling just right.  I really hope this lasts.  The anxious side of me fears that the strongest effects of surgery will not last after some time, and it'll just be me and my will power again.  And I've let myself down so many times before.  So I'm cautiously optimistic, but I'm feeling better than I have in forever.  At the risk of sounding cheesy, this month has really felt like a gift. Here's to hoping I can keep this up. 

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