Holding Yourself Accountable.....

Aug 14, 2012

Well, every since having my RNY to RNY revision..I did lose 18lbs but not been moving. Have been disappointed but I do go through a lot (4 hospital stays).  I came back because it was a long time in pretending that I was like everyone else while NOT being like everyone else.  This is the one place that I can really be me and help others and get "real" when I screw up. The last time I got on the scale I was 199 and then I hid the scale.  There is a great article here about being thin obsessed and it can drive you crazy if you're weighing everyday.  I didn't regain in a day or week..it took two years that I had my eyes closed.  Now my eyes are opened and Im working on eating better. I have too. I have fainted at work a total of 6 times over the last year and no one really could say why.  Im guessing it was due to my sugars crashing because Im noticing that I get hungry or shaky at the 4 hr mark and if I go to the gym and drinking water...I can't even workout for an hr cause at .45 min I start shaking and that's even if I've eaten something.  I had a protein meal replacement and I still got shaky at the .45 mark. I will discuss with dr..but at this point he will probably refer me because that's a endocrine problem not a real surgical problem.  I only have 1 BM usually from Noonish to noonish the next day. But I guess Im not eating alot of junk food like before. Im working and have cut most of sweets like candies...however I do keep jolly ranchers near by in case of my sugars crashing. And I limit myself.  I try to eat as much when I can but I notice that if I accidently overeat and I get abdominal pain due to be super full...I find that it's easy to purge - and Im saying that with hopes that if anyone else does it..I know that's not cool...and hope that it will stop and if I throw up naturally - that's a different story. But the point is not to get that full..right?  Well...I will try to write more because there are ppl watching and they wanna know and they need to know..that is serious stuff. Be well.... 

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