Waking up in a new life

Aug 06, 2012

 I remember waking up in the recovery room, but only for a second. The nurses were taking me to my own room and they kept hitting the bed against walls. I didn't care so much, and just passed out. I woke up again and heard my moms voice asking "is that my daughter they're bringing in?" and I felt the tears rolling down from my eyes. I remember saying (or maybe only trying to say) I made a mistake, but again I was out. 

I have no idea how long it was before I woke up again, but when I did I saw my mom and a nurse next to me. The nurse raised the head of my bed a little and I immediately felt the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. She pushed a plastic device into my hand and said to push the button as often as I could because it was my pain medicine. I didn't let go of that button for two days. Mom was happy I was awake and kept fixing my blankets, asking how I was and what I needed. I couldn't think of anything else to say, so I just cried and told her I made the biggest mistake of my life and I'd do anything to take it back. I was miserable and depressed. She just held my hand and told me it was ok to cry, but I made the right choice. I made sure to talk to my amazingly supportive fiancé so he knew I was ok, but because of the meds, I was in and out of consciousness for who knows how long. 

When I woke up later, the nurse was there and said it was time to get things going. She took out my catheter(wow! Ouch!) and took off the squeeze things on my legs and said it was time to get up. Are you kidding me?! But I knew when I went into this I was expected to be out of bed the same day. It took over 15 minutes to get out of bed and I screamed the whole time. It was awful. And even then, it was only to get into a chair next to the bed. By this time, mom had gone home by my orders to take care of my dog and just relax. And I'm glad she missed all that. It was horrible and I'd hate her to see her baby like that. 

I sat in that chair for a while before the nurse came back and asked if I was ready to walk. I finally got up after trying for a while and started walking the hall. I made it two doors down and turned back

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