Could it be? A balance?! A moment of peace?!

Aug 23, 2012

 So, at last check, I was writhing in pain and cursing my doctor and plotting ways to make him pay for what he had done to me. I'm still not 100% convinced this is what I want. If someone said they could make this surgery go away and I could feel normal again, I honestly still would. BUT it is getting better. Slowly. Sssllllloooooowwwwwwllllllllyyyyyyyy. But its better than wishing death would come quickly.

So, since my last post, my dear fiance has finally moved to America. It was quite rough on myself as I'm a very personal person and I don't like sharing my space. Can you tell I'm an only child? But obviously very rough on him as he left London and everything he's known for 27 years. But we're doing really well! He seems to be adjusting well and I'm not going mad just yet. But it's also not fully set in that he LIVES here now. I'm normally watching the clock and fearing that 12 day mark when he has to go home. It is pretty weird.

Now, as far as RNY topics...The left side pain has finally gone. I was about to super glue my heating pad to my side and curl up in bed for a few weeks. I couldn't keep anything down but water and even that was a toss up. I was at my rock bottom and even began research on doctors that performed reversals for the future. I was really bad off. Between the pain and the, I think, the developing lactose intolerance which led to not being able to down a protein shake, I was completely broken. By Thursday, the 16th, things had begun to improve a bit. The pain had settled into a dull, nagging pulling sensation and I was getting all my required fluids in. Protein still gave me issues, but I was happy to get above 60g a day. 

Today I consumed 80g of protein and I've lost track of my fluids because I drink several bottles a day. I'm not eating a wide variety of foods and that's really starting to bother me, but this weekend is my transition class with my dietitian so hopefully I'm cleared for "all" foods then and I won't be AS scared to try new things. I'll also be willing to go to a restaurant with Indi (the fiance) and get one of the kids meals or something. Right now, I'm just happy things are staying down.

I'm not saying I'm completely happy with this surgery. I still hate it and would do anything to be ME again. But I am a little more hopeful that things will be OK soon. A little...

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