BeautyForAshes
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Okay....One week between posts isn't too bad...
:)
Well, I've been sticking to my diet and exercise regime, and as bad as I want those croutons on my salads, I've been 'Just saying no'...lol....Getting up at 4:15 to go to the gym isn't getting any easier either. When my alarm goes off, I'm like....'You have GOT to be kidding!' lol! Its not easy sometimes....but its paying off. Once I get to the gym and start working out, I feel so much better. I got on the scale this morning at the gym, and it said. 200lbs. Wow. So that's 2lbs under what I gained back during my Indianapolis, Louisville, Vacation-Celebratory-Fiasco....LOL! *Arrrrrrugh!!! I'm so mad at myself for backtracking* Don't you hate when you do that? You get on a roll, and you're doing real good, then you do something you KNOW you're wrong for doing, and end up backtracking? Since I've been back from Indianapolis, I've lost 8lbs...that's 8lbs that I could have added to my progress....I could have been at 193lbs by now....*sigh* But anyway. I just had to vent...I'm not going to kick myself over that anymore. I was just so amazed, and dismayed that the weight came back SO quickly as soon as I got off my program....Okay...So far I've lost 103lbs total. I have 68lbs to go before I reach goal. (132lbs. I intend to reach it by January 2008. If I keep up this momentum, I should reach it by then, if not a little sooner. That's cool. Terry mentioned possibly moving our wedding date from June 2008 aaalllll the way up to October 2007. Well so much for that size 9 wedding dress...lol! By October I will probably only have lost another 40lbs...I'm not 100% comfortable with that...I want to be gorgeous in my wedding dress....I'm thinking, hey, I've only got one shot at this thing...We're going to have to look at the wedding photo album for the rest of our lives...I wanna be lookin' beautiful....lol! But Terry, bless his heart, says that he thinks I'm "drop-dead gorgeous" right now....but he's in love, so his vision is a little askew....LOL! Anyway...I can't wait to be his wife, so if a shorter engagement is what he wants, a shorter engagement is what he gets. Heck, we could drop everything and fly to Vegas today as far as I'm concerned and I'd be cool. *SIGH* I love that man.... *blushing and grinning*
I've gotten some of the most wonderful and encouraging notes from my OH buddies...Thank you all so much. Its so good to know that you're not in the struggle alone. When I read some of your posts and updates I can relate to you in so many different ways. We're rollin' and we're doing EXCELLENT!!!! The support has been so very priceless. Well, I guess I'd better get up and grab some breakfast. High protein....and I'm making sure I take my vitamins and drink plenty of fluids. 1 scrambled egg with cheese and a piece of sausage and a glass of water....That sausage is a little tough for me to digest sometimes...maybe I'll only have 1/2 a piece. I'm looking forward to lunch actually. I can't wait to have a Tendergrill Chicken Salad from Burger King...If you haven't tried it, and you're okay with digesting grilled chicken, you should try it...The chicken breast is marinated and its soooooo yummy. You all take care and be BLESSED!!!!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
OMG I can't believe that it's been over 4 months since I last updated my page....Imma try to do better y'all....I've been so busy.....The big news as you saw from the pics is that I am getting MARRIED!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!! He is Mr. Just Right For Me!!!!! Some of you ladies know what I'm talkin' about.....lol....I just didn't think I'd ever fall in love again and then BLAM!!!! Here comes Terry. Knocked me off my Ms. Independent feet....lol!!! I'm still trying to come too...lol He's a wonderful gift from God, and I keep having to remind myself that for all the drama I've been through in the last 18 years, I deserve every bit of the love and happiness that brings to my life! The most wonderful part is that he loves me AND he's IN LOVE with me....Terry has taught me that men look at you completely differently when they are in love with you....You can see it in their eyes...their smile....you can feel it in their touch....their kiss.....You can tell the difference between the real-deal and just a brotha trying to hook up. Its a wonderful feeling. No more of that one-sided emotional drama. Our relationship is so relaxed and peaceful. THIS is how I know love is supposed to feel. Okay...enough of that....I'm startin' to feel all warm and fuzzy inside...LOL! I've seen some of your progress pics family!!!! WooooooooooHooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Y'all betta go 'head wit'cho baaaaaaaaaaaad selves!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for each and every one of you!!!!!! Okay...here's the deal with me.....I lost 101 lbs....THEN while I was in Louisville for my mom's wedding, Terry proposed to me......(All together now: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww) LOL So see...What had happened was.....lol Okay okay okay....I was on vacation for a week and I gained 6 of those pounds back. Boooooooooooo!!!!! I was so mad at myself....Just sittin' around celebrating the way I used to....EATIN' up everything and not exercising.....I don't dump, so I was eatin' ice cream and cake etc..... *sigh* But anyway.....I got back home and hit the diet and exercise plan again I saw that I had gone from 202lbs back up to 208lbs....(arrrrrrrrrrugh!!!!) So far I've lost 5 of those 6lbs...which puts me back at 100 lbs lost, ...71lbs before I reach goal.....(132lbs) AND NO MORE BACK-TRACKING!!!! LOL! If I'm going to celebrate, I'm going to have to work the damage off right away!!!! Well....my work schedule changed so I have to be going....I'll try my best to do better with my updates.....If anyone has some good wedding tips, holla at'cha girl. Love you guys.
:)
Friday, January 13, 2007
Alright y'all....I lost 1 more pound....lol I'll take that!!!! lol That's 73lbs gone and 98lbs left to go before goal....What a blessing!!!!! I was sick yesterday and today...I tried to eat a piece of meat to try and get my protein in.....Lawd...that did NOT work out at ALL....Anyways....I was glad to change that ticker again....one more pound and I'll be out of the 230's....The century mark is actually in view!!! Yahooooooo!!!! Who would have ever thought????I'm just going to keep charging forward and see what happens....My goal is to go on a Sandal's vacation for my birthday in June and look good in the process....lol I'll write more soon....New 'after' pics should be posted by tomorrow. Much love to all of my OH friends!!!!!!
Thursday, January 12, 2007
Thank the Lord I did it!!!!!! Since my last post exactly 1 week ago, I lost exactly 5lbs. I am so excited about that. I finally got to update that doggone weight loss ticker up there....LOL!!! So far 72lbs gone forever, and just 99 lbs to go before goal....(well, the doctors goal of 132 lbs) That's quite an accomplishment, and I am going to celebrate it.....There are a lot of haters out there....Seems that some people were much nicer to me when I was 300lbs....now they don't speak as much....hmmmmmmm....I don't understand that concept...I'm happy for people when they come up in the world...I just don't understand that.....Maybe my success reminds them that they have room to improve themselves???? I don't know.....BUT *shakin' off those haters* I'm excited about what God is doing in my life, and to me that's all that matters....2007 is my year y'all and I intend to live it to the fullest!!!!! Now about the plateau I just struggled to bust through.....Aaaaahhhhhhh....*sigh* Plateaus are the most frustrating thing about this whole process....I've been busting my backside at the gym 5 days per week and I was just running around in circles as far as an actual loss of pounds...Now I could tell that the inches were coming off, but if you're anything like me, you like to see that scale testifying...lol Okay so what I did was increased my cardio to 1 hour per day instead of 45 minutes...I've been burning that treadmill up....I was like there's no way I'm going to stay in the 230's forever...I'm busting through this plateau...The mind starts playing tricks on you...telling you that this is just going to be another failed attempt to lose weight and yada yada yada....So I increased my cardio, and I went back to eating low carb...and its working. I use those strips that show you if you're burning fat or not...If you're burning fat, the stick will turn pink....I tested yesterday and my strip was POMEGRANATE PURPLE y'all!!! So I'm on another LOSING STREAK and I'm lovin it!!!!! I missed a whole week of journal entries...I'll do better. I've been so busy though...Well you all be blessed...More pics this weekend....I promise....lol
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Hey there!!!! I lost 2lbs....I just keep teetering....lol...I've resolved that I'll bust through this plateau just like I did last time. So now I'm back to 236. *sigh* I don't know if I'm going to reach my goal this week, but I'm going to push for those 5lbs. Mentally I feel great. I do notice a lot more confidence when I am dealing with people. That is such a blessing. I've always been sooooo shy...then when I gained all the weight, I was a 'hider'....I hid from people, and ultimately hid from life. I can feel myself coming out of that, and I am so happy about that.
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Good morning to all!
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Well, this morning is a little different for me. Instead of droppin the kids off at school and going to the gym, I'll be dropping them off and driving out to our headquarters to take and exam. Passing the exam is a prerequisite to being able to seize management opportunities within the company that I work for. I am excited about taking the exam, but at the same time, I am a bit nervous. I studied for the exam, and I believe that God is going to guide me through and do the rest. If I have the opportunity to move up in the company, that would be such a wonderful financial blessing for me and the children. The Lord has guided us and brought us through thus far, and I know that He has greater blessings in store for us. I know that He intends for me to receive a greater financial breakthrough. Therefore, I don't see something like an exam standing in the way of what God has for me. If passing the exam is what's standing in the way of my blessing, then God will allow me to pass with flying colors. I trust Him so much.
The exam is 4 hours long....Whew! (lol) I'll go and take the exam until noon, then I have a 4 hour break. I'll hit the gym during that time period. Then I am driving back out to the office where I'll work for 4 hours. I am going to have a full but blessed day. Well, you all have a wonderful day. Take care....I'll write more soon.
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Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Good morning, good morning, good morning!!!!
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Just got back from the gym, and I'm tired y'all. I met a very nice young minister last week, and we've been talking on the phone until LATE....Lawd...Very good conversations, but beauty sleep is a must! lol Well, I don't have a whole lot to speak of....The scale is messin' with my mind again.....*chuckles* I don't know why it wants to fluctuate so, but when I got on it this morning, it said 238...an increase of 3lbs in a day? Lies Lies Lies!!!!!! LOL!!!!!! I didn't eat anything crazy yesterday.....though I did have a craving for Chili Cheese Fries....I did NOT go there!!!! I had a lean pocket, a greek salad, and a cucumber, and a little container of 100 calorie Pringles....*I still love my Pringles y'all...I just don't sit there and scarf down can after can like I used to.* That's all I had all day long. I don't know....My church is doing a New Year Consecration, so today we're fasting...You would think that after WLS fasting would be easier, but when I don't eat, my stomach acids go crazy. I'm going to take my Zantac and hopefully sipping on water all day will be okay. Pray for me y'all.....I'm going to try to stay off that scale for a couple of days....Its a little discouraging when that numbers go up...I could take them staying the same, but going up is frustrating. Well, I have to get ready for work. Y'all take care.
Monday, January 8, 2007
I woke up this morning with Thanksgiving in my spirit. Lots of people who went to bed last night didn't wake up this morning. So I'm thankful. I feel happy in my spirit this Monday morning. I'm on my way to the gym, and though I don't feel like the scale will have moved any closer to my goal weight, I can tell that inches are coming off....that's a good thing. :0) I've never been a 'scale' kind of person. It always mattered how I looked in my clothes...thats the only thing I really cared about. Now I'm trying to figure out this whole weight loss thing and how to get that scale moving....*chuckle* Well, with God all things are possible, so even though its not moving right now, I believe that God is going to show me how to get that scale going again. I have 107lbs left to the goal weight that Dr. Potts set for me (132lbs)....I'll try to get there just to see what 132 feels like. If I like it, I'll maintain my weight there. The goal weight I've set for myself is 145 lbs. Thats the weight I was before I had children. Well, gotta run and get this Monday morning party started....I'll do a quick update when I get back from the gym....You all stay blessed!
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UPDATE: I weighed in at the gym this morning....I lost 4lbs!!!! WoooooHooooo!!!!! I went ahead and continued with the weight training in addition to the 45mins of cardio....If it ain't broke, don't fix it...right???? So that brings me to 68lbs gone. I've gone from 303lbs to 235lbs. My goal this week is 6lbs so that I can break out of the 230's. *Whew* This thing is workin' after all y'all....*chuckles* Gotta hit the shower before work....Take care, and God bless!
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Sunday, January 7, 2007
God is GREAT and greatly to be praised!!!!! Hope you all are doing well today. I am so very blessed. I wanted to write something real quick before I start working on my jewelry. Well.....Here's an updated picture. This picture was taken this morning before church....(I look happier and healthier, huh? I have quite a ways to go, but thank God I'm not where I used to be!) Y'all see my hair? That's what happend when I went to the beauty shop yesterday. My hairdresser (who happens to be my best friend) insisted that it had to be trimmed 'real good'.....Lawd....I had to take the plunge and let her cut it....lol! I am such a big 'ol baby when it comes to that....So she cut it, but I guess it'll grow back....It'll give me more incentive to get my protein in. I'm not having a problem with hair loss as of yet...I'm praying I don't have that issue....BUT if I do....I'll be wearing THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WIGS until it grows back....Ain't no shame in my game y'all....lol!!! As long as it looks good on me, I'm straight. I hope you all have had a beautiful weekend...I'll write more later.
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Saturday, January 6, 2007
Hey everybody!!!! I don't know about you, but I'm thankful the weekend is here!!!! I did go in and work overtime today....Double-time is a good thang y'all....lol!!! I got off at 11:30am and then I began my own personal day of pampering. I deserve it. I went to the beauty salon and got my hair done. Washed, deep conditioned, blow dried and flat ironed. Then I got a spa pedicure and manicure. This time I splurged and got the massage too....Oooooo weeee that felt good!!!! Its good to be able to treat yourself to something nice whenever you can. No need to wait for others to validate you...Validate yourself! Hope everyone had a great weekend. I'll write more soon.
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Friday, January 5, 2007
Trial and Error....I just got back from the gym. The scale still shows 239.....I'm not cool with that...It could be the lean muscle mass that I'm building up with the addition of the weight training....I dunno. I am restricting my diet for the next 3 days to only raw fruits and veggies and water...It'll be cleansing to do that anyway. I'm also taking a break from the weight training for the next week, and I'm just going to stick to my 45mins of cardio. Also where I would normally take a break from working out one weekend day, I will go ahead and work out tomorrow and Sunday after church as well. We'll see what happens. I would love to break out of the 230's by the end of next week...I'm going to give myself 10 days to lose 10 lbs. I should be able to swing that. If I don't make it, then maybe I will have lost 5-7. I know that's realistic...I'm shooting for 10lbs in 10 days though. Last month, I lost 17lbs in 8 days....That was an accident though...I don't really know what happened with my body during that time period. I didn't like losing it that fast because I felt kind of sick....I liked the results, but it wasn't really worth that sick/low blood sugar feeling. Wish me luck y'all...I'll keep you posted. Have a blessed weekend everybody...I'll write more soon!!!
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Welp...just talked to my sister....I told her my plans for the next 10 days....she said that the weight training needs to go hand in hand with the cardio so she suggested that I decrease my reps, but that I should definitely continue with the weights. She may have a point. I will consider that.
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Thursday, January 4, 2007
Another Great workout today. I'm tired though...I ain't gon' lie. I keep telling myself that all this good hard work is going to pay off. The scale didn't move....still 239. When you work out hard and your calorie intake is low, you just hope to see more scale activity.....*sigh* I'm going to keep pushing through it though. I'm going to be tough, and eventually it'll catch up with me, right? (I hope so) I'll post some new pictures this weekend. Hopefully some inches have come off even if the lbs haven't come off drastically. Hopefully there will be a visual change. I have to mention that one of my OH friends Ms. Rhonda H. really blessed and encouraged my heart today. I left her a note and she wrote me back. At first the note was typical, she was reflecting on some of the things that she's struggling with, then all of a sudden at the end of the note something in her spirit started to kick up...It was like her spirit was reminding her that WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUORERS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS, and lawdhammercy, if she didn't preach!!! Had me up in here givin up the praise!!! lol! With that, I was reminded that regardless of how discouraged we become on our journey....regardless to what our circumstances appear to look like, if we know Jesus, and we have His Holy Spirit dwelling in us, we have a Comforter, and someone who will instantly encourage us if we will allow Him to. We don't always need a lot of people to help, because we have THE HELPER within us. We have to just draw on His Strength. She really encouraged me as I saw how encouraged she was. Just wanted to share. Its good to share with others, because you never know what people are going through. Thanks Rhonda. You all have a blessed day!!! I'll write more soon.
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Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Another GREAT workout. I just focused on the task at hand and worked it to the fullest....Guess what? Yesterday the scale said 241, and today it reads 239!!!!! Woooo Hooo!!!! Lost 2lbs in one day by stepping up my game. I'm happy about that. I had been on a little plateau for about 2 weeks and I wasn't cool with that at all. Well, I'm late...I had to go to the beauty supply and spent too much time and too much money in there.....lol! Gotta get to work now.....I'll write more soon....
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
It's Tuesday morning, 6am.....Back in the saddle y'all. The holidays are over....kids are going back to school today. I sat here yesterday and watched the entire 3rd season of The Biggest Loser Marathon from start to finish. Wow. I shed a couple of tears at the end. I could really relate to so many of those contestants. Weight loss can be such a struggle. It is an awesome challenge when you decide to face and slay those demons that have had you bound for so many years. Such a mental as well as a physical challenge. As I watched the contestants train so very hard, I realize that I can stand to train a bit harder too. I work out 5-6 times per week, but I definitely have room to 'optimize' what I'm doing when I go. With my 45 mins of cardio each day, I can push a little harder....I don't want to just 'get through it'....I want to get the optimum benefit for my time in the gym. If I don't, its not worth being there.
So that's how I'm starting off the new year. :0) I'll be on my way to the gym before work here in about an hour....I'll update you on how it went! :0)
Here's some news....My mother has announced that she's getting married! WoooHooo! I'm so happy for her....She's been divorced for over 10 years, and she's wanted to re-marry so badly. I'm very happy for her!!!....She doesn't think that I'm going to be able to make it to Louisville to be there. (The date is set for February 17, 2007) Of course I'm going to surprise her and show up.... :0) Well...You know what that means for me? What in the world am I going to wear???? lol I have lots and lots of family...They haven't seen me since I was about as big as I was in the 1st picture. I acutally have a dress that I tried on Sunday that I'd love to wear...It was a size 16 (lawd, can you believe that?????) and it fit very well. I'll think more about that in the coming weeks....For now....On to the gym. 'sigh'...The gym. Once I'm there I'm fine, but I have to literally make myself have a mental breakthrough each morning in order to get there....lol
Okay....9:25am - Just got back from the gym....GREAT workout. I feel fabulous!!!! I pushed myself and the endorphins are jumpin' off everywhere! lol I actually jogged on the treadmill this morning!!!! WooooHooooo!!!!!! Okay, you know what that means....Now that I know I can jog again, there's no turning back. There's nothing like milestones to keep you sane on your journey! :0) To all of you in this struggle, keep at it and you'll reach your goals. Gotta shower and get to work. I'll write more soon!
Sunday, December 31, 2006
I meant to start this page up months ago right before my surgery. The comments below are journal entries on my Pre-op journey. Now I'm 3 months Post-op. I had thoughts of doing the whole daily journal thing, and keeping it nice and updated for all to see.....Well.....so much for that.....lol!!! I am a single mother, who has had GBS, recovered for 6 full weeks and then went back to working full time. My intentions were good, but I tell you the truth, there aren't enough hours in the day!!!!! Ok....About the pictures......The first picture was taken 2 days before my Gastric Bypass Surgery. If I look sad, its because I was a very unhappy individual. I had allowed Morbid Obesity to imprison me. Well.....The surgery has truly been a gift from God above. I've been hitting the gym 5 - 6 times a week, soooooooo.....I finally feel like I'm being set free. The surgery, to me, was like the key that opened my prison doors. Its up to me to walk through....(diet and exercise).....But I'm like Forrest Gump y'all......"I WAS RUNNING!!!!!!!" I mean it...I'm running through those doors!!! I've been down for too long....Its my turn, and I'm about to blow the roof off this bad boy!!! LOL!!! The picture in the black was taken Christmas Eve '06....after less than 3 months, I am 62 lbs lighter and I feel so great!!!! (I keep fluctuating between 62 and 64 lbs....Darn that lean muscle mass....lol!!!) *sigh* I still have a problem when I'm getting dressed though.....I still can't find clothes that fit.....because now they're TOO BIG instead of too small!!!! Yeah baby!!!!! I'm a shop-a-holic, so I'm really trying to resist the urge to buy new clothes just yet, but its getting a little crazy...I must have gone through 10 outfits this morning trying to get ready for church.....lol! That was great though....I ain't gon' lie...... ;0) (lol)
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 I meant to start this journal a while ago, but this is yet another thing I've procrastinated about. Why today? I took a couple of snapshots of myself last night. Why last night? I went to see the dietician, Janice Baker yesterday.....my weight? 300 pounds. *sighing heavily* Well, I finally hit that mark. The mark I promised myself I'd NEVER hit.....I am so disgusted. When I look at the pictures, I think who is that girl? I don't know her....she looks unfamiliar, yet so very familiar. The girl's face in the picture reflected accurately what she was feeling on the inside. Tired, discontent, frustrated and unhealthy. I put the pictures on a slide show so I could drink in what I actually look like.....how outsiders actually see me. Its easy to continue mindlessly letting yourself get more and more overweight when you don't have a good understanding of what you physically look like. Its easy to do that when you feel the same as you always have on the inside. I am the same person on the inside as I was when I was a sexy, curvacious 145lbs., running 15 miles a week in college. I remember talking with the psychologist, Dr. Michelle McCarter about self-image. She was asking me about what I feel when I look in the mirror. I thought about it for a moment, and I told her that hadn't realized it, but I really don't look at myself in the mirror....I told her that the only mirrors I really look in are in the bathroom and vanity briefly.....and those only go from the waist up. The mirror in the diningroom is full-length, but I rarely look into it. Must be one of those sub-conscious defense mechanism things. I can't button nor zip up size 26 jeans. I have nothing to wear. I'm wearing sweats every single day because that's the only thing that I can fit comfortably. And to think, last year at this time I was comfortably wearing a size 18. I look a hot mess. Not only that, Friday I got the results of my bloodwork that was done earlier that week. It seems that I have developed Diabetes, high cholestrol, and my triglycerides are high as well....."Mild" they say...but "elevated"...elevated enough that Dr. Vu, my primary care doctor wants me to come back so that she can start me on medication. I'm not happy about that at all.The good news is that my doctor, Diane Vu has referred me to Dr. Charles Callery for Gastric Bypass Surgery. (Dr. Callery....(Calorie)....How cute is that????) I finally got the criteria in writing for GBPS from Blue Cross as requested by my Dr. I gave it to Dr Vu during my last visit with her. Blue cross gave me and Dr. Vu's nurse the run-around big-time with that....Ridiculous, I think...but I'm not going to get into that drama. It seems that based on their criteria, I am a very good candidate. My BMI is 51...(Holey Moley!) which, according to Blue Cross is enough to qualify right there as long as your PCP has been following your progress (or lack thereof)....but I also have Sleep Apnea (which I was diagnosed with in year 2000) as well as Diabetes. I got the referral in the mail on Saturday. I was so elated. I thought to myself, finally....I have a fighting chance. I have an appointment to go to Dr. Callery's Educational Lecture on May 23rd. My Dad agreed to go with me and to be my "Buddy"....the one who will be my partner, and who will act as my power of attorney through the surgical process should anything go wrong. I'm very excited about that. It means a lot to me that he would do this for me. He was pretty opposed to me having the surgey in the beginning. I think he may be starting to come to grips with the fact that if I don't get some help with this, ultimately I will die due to complications stemming from my weight problem. (When he sees what all this surgery is going to entail, I think he'll jump back on the opposing side.....lol...My dad...he doesn't take too kindly to surgery of any kind....but I think he'll be supportive of my decision regardless.) When I called Dr. Callery's office to make an appointment for the office consultation, Nina, the receptionist who answered (who was very very nice) said the I would first need to attend an Educational Lecture, and that she would need to check to see if there were any spots available for a class this month. My fingers were crossed....Luckily, she said that she had a spot available for me in the class on May 23rd....I couldn't believe that I was going to get to go so soon! I'm going to try very very hard to go to all my appointments on time at all costs. After looking at my 300 pound 'Wake up call' pictures, I realize that this struggle is not going to be easy. People thing that GBPS is the easy way out.....I beg to differ. There is going to be nothing easy about losing all that weight. Nothing. *Sigh* I'm ready to fight though. I have a good feeling about the outcome. *smiling* Hopefully by the end of this year I will have had, or will be close to having the surgery. Hopefully it will come sooner, rather than later. I will be 36 years old next month....I'm ready to get on with living life optimally. Thursday, May 18, 2006 I received a letter along with a map from Dr. Callery's office for the Educational Seminar today. *smiling* You make these "major milestone" appointments, and you're told over the phone that you're scheduled.....you're "all set".... but when it comes to these 'major' things you pray from the time you get off the phone until you're actually there in the office and they cross you off their list of patients they are scheduled to see that day. I have to stop thinking the worst.... (lol) In passing, I envisioned arriving to the seminar (All the way out in Poway) and having the receptionist looking through all her lists and declaring...."We don't have you scheduled.....Who did you talk to???".....(lol) Geesh, I need to quit doing that....(lol) But I went through a similar scare Tuesday when I went to see the dietician....The 1st receptionist looked through her papers...then looked through them again, while softly reciting my name....then she looked a bit confused and looked in her computer...she asked, "What is your date of birth"? I told her...she continued to click away at the computer, then she called another receptionist over....that receptionist commenced to go through the same ritual....first the stack of papers, and then the actual medical files, and then on to the computer. I'm standing there, co-pay in hand, with a 'trying not to look worried' look on my face....finally one of the receptionists broke the silence by asking, "Do you go by a different 1st name?" I thought....oh my goodness....I'm in trouble. (lol!) Luckily after a few painful minutes, they found me. *Whew!* (lol)At any rate, I got a reservation confirmation from Dr. Callery's office today. I feel relieved. It gave all these instructions and stipulations. They said there is no late admittance, so I have to be on time. I am off at 3pm that day, and the seminar starts at 5:30pm. I am leaving for the seminar as soon as I'm off, so I should be ok...Assuming no more sig-alerts...The northbound 15 is absolutely a fargin nightmare when there are accidents!!!!One thing about Dr' Callery's office that I really like is that everything seems to be one well-oiled unit. His letters and his website are signed, Dr. Callery, Dr. Potts, and Staff. I like that. Judging from the guidelines in this letter, it seems like they have things well organized. I think I'll go on his website www.thinnertimes.com and see if I can post on his forum. I browsed through it, reading a few entries. The people posting seem happy and excited. I can understand their sentiment. There was one young lady who had been turned down by her insurance (medicaid, I think) several times and she was contemplating getting a lawyer if her last round of appeals didn't pan out. Maaaan....the people posting on the forum jumped right to her defense...egging her on....admonishing her to grab 'em in the balls....Man! What a support team! (lol) I think about it sometimes...I certainly don't want to have to get into the drama of having to go through appeals and all that. I used to work for an HMO, and I know that the appeals process is a lengthy, tedious process in which you have to be meticulous with your record keeping, and you have to really know and understand THEIR guidelines for coverage. If you faulter even one bit, they'll happily stamp your case "DENIED" and keep on rolling. God I hope my case is open and shut. Even if its not, I'll fight to the death....lol! That's why Dr. Vu wanted the criteria in writing, so that she could go down the list and check off everything as we go....psych eval? Check. Dietician visits? Check. Educational Seminar? Check.....etc.... I was upset with Dr. Vu at first....well not really upset with her alone, but just frustrated with the whole weight loss saga I've been going through. I sat in her office and burst into tears....(I think she was taken aback...lol) My tears were real, and sincere...I was just so frustrated with the whole thing. Then a long list of things that I had to do was given to me...but first she said that I had to get this written criteria from the insurance company. I wondered why they didn't have that already. Now I better understand that they deal with a lot of different insurance companies and that all of them have different stipulations....and different ways to give you the run-around, if you ask me....but nevertheless, I got what was needed, and now we go from here. Friday, May 19, 2006 No new developments in the way of the surgery. Not a very good day for me emotionally. The job is stressing me out, and I feel so devoid of energy. I'm trying not to drown myself in food....I didn't eat a whole lot today. I don't usually cook when the kids are gone for the weekend, but I didn't really have money to eat out, so I came home and made some spaghetti....It was delicious.....yes...it served dual purposes....nourishment, and comfort. *frown* I did feel better while I was eating it and shortly thereafter. Shame....Did I not learn anything from Dr. McCarter???? *chuckle* Geez.
