Bran54

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I am officially in the 200 teens...........weighed this morning:  219.8  yahoo!

Headed up to Portland this morning for my appointment. Actually hit a light dusting of snow up towards Portland.......which was weird.....and all the trees Salem North were white,not with snow, but frost. Good thing it was still dark.....but it was pretty. Also hit some snow like flakes coming back.  Not exactly sure what it was.....................   Checked with the nutritionist, and that went well.  Then met with the surgeon. She was undecided as to whether to fill or not.  I,of course piped up and said, "Well, I don't want to drive back up in two weeks, and if at all possible, go ahead and put some in."  I think she was feeling me out.  Told her I had been eating pasta and rice.  Asked about bread, but I hadn't tried it yet.  She put some saline in my band, forgot to ask how much. Silly me! So I have two days of liquids, then 2 days of pureed food. Just thrilled.......said my weight loss is good,and that my incisions were looking good.  She then asked about the next appointment, and again I piped up with make sure it is within the 90 days.  She just smiled, and said okay.........so I have an appt in March.  A late afternoon appt. And I have another appt with the nutritionist and physical therapist.  I think I may just spend the night......

OH and they weighed my.  I was so ticked....I started my period and I know that added some good old water weight.......bummer!  But, it will come off soon.   Stopped by the outlet stores in Woodburn on the way home.....bought a new pair of jeans that actually FIT......no bagging in the legs.....size 20, which is cool.....and a couple of tops too.  So I had fun!  Colder than all get out, and I didn't bring a jacket...silly me!    Got the clearance for weights........they just told me to stop if it was bothering me, as my port site is still tender....so use my own judgment,which is cool!  

I joined the local gym today.  I want to be able to take step classes with my 2 girlfriends who have been extremely supportive of my decision to have
WLS!  

I also went shopping today for a new jacket.....my other was was WAY TOO BIG.....I was just looking for a sweat shirt type jacket......started out in the plus size department, but didn't find anything to my liking.  So meandered over to the REGULAR size department.  One with a pretty flowery spring print on it caught my eye.  Pulled it off the rack, looked at it, and thought to myself
"Wonder if this will fit?"  Tried it on...felt pretty good. Went looking for a mirror...and said to myself "You look pretty damn good"  Then looked at my pants.....decided I needed to find the right size, but want to wait on those until I absolutely have to shop for new ones.....

I bought the jacket (size 16-18) and also bought a new pair of sweat pants, as my other ones were falling off (size regular XL).  I was so thrilled with myself....and it has definitely boosted my ego....

I CAN DO THIS, ME AND MY BAND!

The tenderness is just tiny.  Sure, it would hurt if you pushed on my tummy............but am feeling incredibly better.......so that is huge.  Starting to get back more and more energy.....need to get out and walk.............just afraid to take the dog.  Poor thing.....

I am discovering that I need to be creative in my protein drinks.  Made an actual shake today.  Used non fat milk, protein powder, peppermint mocha coffee creamer and blended......kinda weird, but I like it.  It has the consistency of a milkshake.....so that is cool. Can eat it with a spoon.  

Only one dose of meds last night..........that was huge...................

Each and every day is getting better and better. I am able to do more, have almost totally weaned myself off my meds, with the exception of a night time dose....but that is way cool.

I am still not getting in all liquids, but each day, I am adding more and more. I am afraid to walk the dog, and he is not trained and is definitely a leash tugger....so kinda leary that he will pull my arm, causing my tummy to hurt. Silly,  for sure. 

It is late afternoon, and I have been fairly busy most of the day. Nothing too strenuous, but busy just the same.  Did do the kitchen dishes, went grocery shopping for a few items. Split pea soup sounds really good, so am gonna make that in the crockpot...perfect weather for it, and I can just run it thru the blender to make sure there are no "chunks" of anything in it. 

I am not missing food yet, but am sure my time will come. 

Had a small BM today, so that is good...glad that is finally happening.........took long enough!

I was able to get out and about today. It felt great.  Went to the mall to pick up a gift and some more protein drinks to try.  I ran into people from high school, it was fun chatting. I walked the mall.  That was good too.  I appreciated being out in the fresh air...but am a little tired now, and may take a short nap.

Decided today was the day to start decreasing my meds, so haven't had any this 5 AM.  One of my incisions was sore this morning, so took some.  The pain now is bearable......so that is cool.  

Hubby was my chauffer today, which was nice.  He wanted to watch the ball games, but I didn't feel up to driving. I won out.  

Sipping on some soup and oh does it taste good.  

Scales today:  246 and dropping.....

I thought that I was scheduled to have surgery on Wed at 1:30, so arrived at Legacy Good Sam in Portland about 11:30.  I was under the impression that I was to check in two hours before surgery.  Mission accomplished. Got all checked in, dressed and was in the short stay unit.  Was chatting with the nurse. I was in good spirits.  No, I wasn't worried about the surgery, in fact, I was relatively calm.  Then asked her if my surgery time was still 1:30.....she gave me a puzzled look......and said she was wondering why I had check in so early, when in fact, my scheduled time was 4:45......I was totally ticked. Can you blame me?  If I had known that, I would have checked in later in the day.    So, sitting a a short stay hospital bed with next to nothing to do,.....the time just drug by.  Good thing that I brought a good book to read.  (And to make matters worse, Marcel was sick, so he was in agony too.)  Didn't really want him around me, so shooed him out of the room.    I was getting bored in bed, so asked the nurse if I could get up and walk around.....sure, just stay in this unit.  Fine, no problem, I thought.........got up stretched my legs.....got to see some new surroundings and came back to my hole in the wall....and sat in the chair.  By this time, Marcel still wasn't back.  I wasn't worried about him, but would liked to have seen him before my surgery.......   Got up again a while later........and by now it is maybe around 3:30.....getting closer to surgery time.  As I was walking the hallways, I saw my surgeon, Emma Patterson. Greeted her, but she had a puzzled look on her face.....and next thing I knew, the nurse police came down the hallway bitching at me because I had left the unit....how the heck was I supposed to know....there was one long hallway, and that is what I was walking.  Bitching me out like I was a child...that ticked me off.  So, I scurried back to my room...and next thing I new the surgeon was there.  I lashed out some of my frustration on her.....(and in hindsight) I probably shouldn't have done that, but .......I had to finally vent at someone and she was there.....she did ask if I wanted to continue with the surgery or cancel....now do you really think I would have come this far and gone thru so many tests to cancel out.  Definitely not an option for me.....   So, she left, and Marcel still not back....a flurry of activity.....doing the final preps before surgery....putting splints on my legs to help with the circulation during surgery, giving me a small shot in the abdomen, and adding more meds to the IV....and I was still in a pissy mood before surgery.  Not good!    The finally wheeled me down to the surgery wing.......and just as we were getting ready to go in, the anasthelogist (SP) stopped the gurney......the nurse looked surprised.  I was supposed to have already spoken to him,  Again, more miscommunication.......and that set me off again....I was thinking, what else could go wrong......answered his questions, and I was short and curt. Again, not like me, but I think I    was masking some of my last minute fears and lashing out at him.  Next thing I knew, they wheeled me into the operating room......it was freezing....they gave me some more meds...slid me over on the operating table......and next thing I remembered was hearing my name over and over again......they want to know if I was in pain......told them where I was hurting. Guess that was from the gas they injected for the operation, and told me in time that would go away (and it does.....having some pain today, but not too bad).    Next thing I vaguely remember is being wheeled into my private room...and seeing my hubby.  He told me the Dr. had come and spoke with him and said the operation was a success.......he also told me the hospital felt sorry for him and fed him the employee Christmas dinner.......so I thought that was nice.  I had the nicest day nurse, Chris....she was attentive and took care of my needs.  That didn't last too long.....night shift came on.....they weren't nearly as attentive or compassionate.......   I remember being told pre-op that getting up and walking would be important to help alleviate the gas problem....and to get the body moving again.  I HAD TO ASK TO GET UP, THEY DIDN'T OFFER AT ALL....TICKED ME OFF.  Did walk the hallways several times, all by myself...thought that was odd too.....but hey, what the hell do I know about hospital protocol. Right, I am just the patient.  Slept pretty good most of the night, waking up asking for pain meds when they came in for temp and BP readings......so that was cool.    Morning finally came, and again, I got up and walked the halls....got more pain meds.  While I was in the bathroom, someone must have come in and given me some food....well,okay, they left couple ounces of milk, apple juice and some lemon yogurt......I was definitely surprised. That was to last me four hours.....attempted to eat some of it, but was sorta scared about how my body would react.  It went down fine.  Went back to sleep,next thing I new, the Dr.'s assistant was there tapping my hand, asking me a ton of questions......like I really understood what he was wanting to know. Heck, I had just woken up and was still in a druggy state...know what I mean.  He told me the surgery went well.....and that Dr. P had repaired my hiatal hernia....didn't even know I had one.......he told me I could leave, unless I wanted to spend another night....no, I wanted to come home....  Asked him if I needed to talk with the dietician...he had a puzzled look on his face, like I should have already spoken to her.....so had to wait for her to come around......   Finally, I get discharged, and wanted to stop at the Pharmacy to get my pain meds.  What an ordeal that turned out to be....had made sure I had given my hubby the drug card....he comes back out to the car, and says he can't find the car and that he thinks he lost my ID or left it at the hotel.....thrilled...gave him one thing to be responsible for and he loses my wallet. Told him that he had a card for the meds.....so he goes back into the pharmacy.....finally, about an hour later, comes out with just half a prescription....they didn't have enough to fill it....again, not setting well with me.  So, then he calls the hotel.....and yes, they found my wallet....asked if they could mail the id.....oh NO we can't do that......so, we had to drive back to the hotel, and again, I was getting very angry.......get to the hotel......and they,of course, wouldn't give the ID to hubby, insisted that I come in a get it......which I understand, but didn't make me a happy camper....finally about 3, we leave Portland...........uneventful trip home.......   Get home, tired and getting sore......get into bed and just rest.   Today is going pretty well..............been up moving around,got my BP meds down, 1/2 my protein requirements for the day, and now that hubby is back, going to take a shower....was putting that off. Didn't want to take the shower without someone being home.........................  

My husband will be driving me to Portland tomorrow.  Surgery is scheduled for 1:30......I am gonna be starving by then, but what can I say.  I am to have nothing after midnight.  Not even water.  WTF?  Do the Doctor's realize how difficult that will be?  I am determined to make it thru this small trial.  The larger trial is yet to come.  Two weeks of liquids, then mushy foods, then finally back to regular food.  Is the journey gonna be worth it.  I believe in my heart that it will be.  Otherwise, why would I be subjecting myself to surgery.    I plan on taking Ambien tonight to help me sleep.  Got that okayed by the surgeons office.  I thought I was coming down with something today, a cold ....so have been taking some Emergence C to combat it.  It seems to be working.  Now, hubby is coming down with something.  Told him I couldn't risk getting sick.  He may have to sleep somewhere else......I also have a tab bit of a sore throat.  Drinking plenty of hot liquids today.....wish I could put a pinch of brandy it my tea, but don't think that would be a good idea.  Darn it!   Tomorrow at this time, I will have had my surgery and will probably be in the recovery room.....and hopefully everything will go according to plan.  I have a fantastic surgeon. She is the guru in lapband surgery.  She teaches other Doc how to do it.  So I feel completely confident in my choice.    I am outta here!

It is the one week until my surgery. Last time I wrote in my profile, I was having second thoughts about having my surgery.  Funny, those feelings have all but disappeared.  There is just a hint of them left.  I am actually beginning to get excited about it.  Does that make sense?    I had to tell  myself that I have come too far to TURN BACK!  So, it is finally my turn.  I am looking forward to the changes....not so sure about the post surgery of liquids, then mushies, then....but.....it will be a small price to pay if I can lose the weight and actually KEEP IT OFF.    I am full of confidence now.....I guess there is a peace in my heart.....guess you get that when you are making the right choices.   To date I have lost 35 pounds from my initial seminar meeting back in June..........so I feel extremely good about that.  I am also now in just the obese range...no longer super obese.  That is a huge milestone....I just wish more people would have noticed, but ya know what...I am ok with that.  I am not doing this for other people....this is just about me....and only me....first time in my life that I can actually be selfish.  Feels kinda good.

Perfectly normal..... I have been self sabotaging myself lately, in regards of my pending surgery Dec 12.  Until my last visit to the Dr., I had  been doing extremely well.  I followed the suggested diet plan given to me by the dietician. I have lost 32 pounds to date.  I began an exercise program, and have challenged the distance I walk weekly, by adding a little bit more to my route. I have been drinking my water.  ALL POSITIVES.    This last week, I am beginning to have  serious doubts about my pending surgery.   From what I understand, this is perfectly normal and expected.  Wondering if I am making the correct decision?  Can I be successful.  Can I really do this and be committed?    I am getting SCARED!!!!     This past week, I have been nibbling on foods that I shouldn't be, thinking, oh, I won't be able to eat this anymore, or it won't hurt me.  I have been negligent in my daily walks, (doesn't matter that it has been raining the past few days).  I haven't the gumption to walk, when I know that I need to do this.  My weight loss has also stalled.  I am back sliding to my old eating habits.      My surgery is about 3 1/2 weeks away, and I need a huge kick in the butt......and I need to motivate myself to continue in the right direction.