Bran54

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I had a huge victory in the sweet department yesterday.  One which I am proud of .......I went ot the grocery store to pick up a few items......I decided that I wanted a chocolate covered donut.....you know, the ones that look like maple bars.....walked all the way over to the bakery......stared at the donuts and managed to talk myself out of it.....WOW....that is huge.

Next, on the way out of the store, I walked by the Starbucks counter....oh, a mocha would be so good right now.....stood lin line.....almost ready to order (thank goodness someone was ahead of me), then I changed my mind and walked out of the store without my mocha.....another huge victory.

Later that night, I did give in, put in a much smaller portion. I ate a chocolate pudding cup after dinner. I was proud of myself for what I accomplished.......I am making headway in this weight loss game.......

Well, as pointed out my one of my OH  friends, I have been neglecting to post any information about what is going on.  

I have been approved for my surgery, and it will be on 12/12/07.  Still about 6 weeks out, but that is fine.  I didn't want to have it right before Turkey Day, but needed to have it completed by the end of the year for insurance reasons.  I finally met my HIGH deductible and want to get the most benefits from my insurances.  So.....with that being said, daily I question my decision.  I know it my heart, I have made the correct decision for myself, but still have some doubts. I am assuming that it is quite normal.....just want to make sure I am not making a mistake.  I know in my heart, I am not, so I guess I am moving forward. 

I have my pre-op appointment mid November...and wouldn't ya know it, they don't have morning appointments for that, so I made the afternoon appt. I was not thrilled about it, as I have a extremely difficult time driving after dark.  I know, isn't that the pits.  I resigned myself to the fact that I will be spending the night in Portland after my appointment.  Going to make this trip solo...which is fine.  I am looking forward to it, but am also a little apprehensive about it.  I have thought about asking some of my online friends that live in Portland if they would like to get together the morning after to meet for coffee or something.  Think that would be nice, and I do need all the support I can get.  So, we will see if it pans out.   I got my room on Priceline.com, and for a great rate....or at least one that I was extremely pleased with.....so that is cool. 

I have been doing my daily walks, in fact, I just purchased an IPOD to help me with my walking. I figure that if I have some music, it will be more enjoyable.  I do enjoy the walking and I am progressing in the distance.....adding a little more every day, which is huge.  I remember when I began, I could hard walk very far at all, now I am walking and feeling better.  I actually look forward to it, and so does my companion, my dog......he likes it too. So, it definitely benefits both of us.  Which is huge. 

I am struggling with my food.....it is definitely a constant battle.  I have to remind myself .......and have cut down my portion sizes.....and am feeling better.  Need to work on my fluids.  The easy part is not drinking before,during or immediately after eating.  I have that part down pat......but it is other times when I need to remember to tip my elbow!  

I am down about 30 POUNDS  from my starting weight, which feels great.  My clothes are beginning to hang from my body....and my pants are sagging something awful. I am waiting for someone to notice the weight loss......a compliment from someone would be so encouraging right about now........in time I guess.  

I guess that about catches up on everything.....................

I am proud of myself.  Yesterday, even though I have not met with any Doctors yet, I managed to drink 64 ounces of water.  That was huge.  I have decided that I may as well teach myself what I need to do to be successful with my decision to have WLS.  So, it was a small step, but I did it.  

I was also at a July 4th BBQ yesterday with my family, and talked about my wanting surgery to 2 relatives. It appeared they were supportive, so that was another huge step for me.  I felt some relief.  They asked tons of questions, and answered the best that I could.  So that was cool.  

I have also lost 7 pounds, a small start, but it has to to begin somewhere, right?  So, I am beginning my journey.......and that is HUGE too.

Talk about being ticked......I just wrote my first blog, only to lose it.  Don't know what I did.........but I shall try again.   First off, finally figured out how to add the ticker.  I decided to use the dragonfly, as I for some reason, just love dragonflies.  In fact, I have a tattoo of a dragonfly on my upper arm.    My weight loss journey is beginning, and every day, I am positive that I am making the right choice for me.  I have doubts, but am also looking forward to making positive changes.  I have pretty much come to the conclusion that the Lapband is the best choice for me.  I know I will be successful with it.  Only way I would change my mind is if my surgeon recommended something different.    Now, if I could just decide on where to have my surgery. I thought I had decided to have it done at Legacy, but am having second thoughts, especially after I found out that Bay Bariatrics in Coos Bay is now a Center of Distinction, which is what my insurance company requires. So, I am looking into that place too.  In fact, I have an appointment to meet with the surgeon at the end of July.......while still waiting to hear from Legacy.  I absolutely hate driving the Portland freeways.  I drove up to 2 informational seminars, one at OHSU and the other for Legacy.  OHSU wasn't too bad, but finding Montgomery Park was a different story.  I managed to miss my turn off, and ended up having to travel the Fremont Bridge.  I hated it.......I kept my eyes straight ahead the entire time.  Only thing that was worse was crossing over again, as I had to cross it to get to the seminar. Only this time, I was on the top deck.  MERCY ME!!!!  Thank goodness it was in the middle of the day and traffic wasn't at its heaviest.  I like the idea of traveling a highway that is less congested. That works for me.  So, it will definitely be interesting to see where I actually decide to have my surgery.   That being said, I am moving on to my support group.  I am talking to my husband more and more bout my surgery and what will happen.  I am beginning to make plans.......talking about when I lose the weight.....I want to get a new tattoo.....this one will be "when pigs fly"  a favorite saying of mine.  And too think, just a few months ago, I thought there was no hope of me actually becoming "skinny".  I had gone thru my closet and thrown away all my "smaller" clothes...if you can call size 20-22 small.  I could kick myself.   I am a bundle of emotions right now.  I am a private person when it comes to medical issues.  I am not sure I want people to know that I am having surgery.  Figure that it none of their business.........I have mentioned it to only one person outside of my immediate family.  It is a gal at work who just had the RNY in April.  Told her I was talking to her in confidence.  Sure hope it stays that way..........then I know I have to fill out a leave of absence paper at work.........and that is supposed to be confidential too......not sure about that one either.  Time will tell.  Sometimes, I hope that I will have the strength and courage to follow thru with the surgery.  It will be a scary time, yet a happy time too.  I just don't know for sure!!!!!  I want to be thin and open myself up to the opportunities that will occur.  I have plans of looking for new employment after I lose the weight.  I am so tired of my dead end job.........I desperately need a change.  Something that allows me to be seen and have interaction with people.  Right now, I work in a small room counting money and making huge deposits for a one stop shopping store.  No interaction with people.........and it is beginning to drive me batty........I begin to ponder.....and then worry, and then end up getting frustrated...........and  it goes on from there.