Keeping the Faith: The Religion of Bariatric Surgery

I’ve heard the analogy made on various community boards around the web: Those who have bariatric surgery are like converts following a new religion. When you think about it, the similarities are uncanny and post-ops do experience the same things that the newly spiritual do: We have the promise of a glorious new body, an after life, miracles galore, unbelievable joy and heavenly rewards.

You’ve got your churches (hospitals and bariatric centers of excellence) and ministers(surgeons), and they all have slightly different doctrines (programs) for their patients (disciples). Once you’re baptized (have surgery), you become an evangelist, preaching the gospel of healthy living, miraculous weight loss, and an amazing “after life.” You worship at the altar(scale) everyday and pray for continued blessings (weight loss).

In those early days, your faith is strong, and you don’t dare “sin” by giving into the old “temptations.”

Visits to the scale are usually followed by shouts of “Hallelujah!” and you want every obese person you see to “get bariatric religion” so they, too can be healed.

The months pass, and you settle into your spirituality. You have your rituals and you thank the food gods every day because you don’t hunger for forbidden fruits.

But then…something happens. You decide that “maybe” a bite of that cake won’t be so bad. It is, after all just one teeny bite. And then you decide that you can get away with little indiscretions here and there, as long as you follow most of the teachings.

One day, you DUMP…but immediately and fervently repent, promising that you’ll never sin again. From that moment, you begin to make sacrifices at the altar and even start fasting (doing LPTs Liquid Protein Trains to decarb). After all, you are a changed soul. You have seen the light.

From then on, you start to encounter the religious zealots who mean well, but call you a sinner or heretic because you have partaken of an evil carb, eaten a cookie, or drunk a glass of champagne. Soon enough, the church elders are after you because you have fallen from grace.

Sadly, this is the time when many apostles will lose their religion and regain the weight they lost.

But, others will grow in their faith and begin sharing their journey in online forums. Inevitably, these saints will begin to feel the wrath and judgment of others who don’t practice their religion the same way.

Those who don’t want to become martyrs set up their own little houses of worship, and they attract a congregation. All of a sudden, they’re preaching to the choir, and people are singing their praises. Sometimes, they question their faith, so they seek the sacrament of confession, clearing their weighty conscience and recommitting their lives to keeping the faith.

Yes, bariatric surgery is a religion, and it takes a great deal of faith and perseverance to live a “holy” life. Oh, I’ve cast a few stones since my gastric bypass surgery, but all-in-all, I am blessed, and have been redeemed.

Perhaps I am just another pilgrim, sharing the good news with fellow travelers on this journey toward mecca (maintenance.) Whatever the case, I’m keeping the faith; are you?

Can I get an “AMEN!”