carrotop13

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So I felt like total crap yesterday. I don't know what I did to put me that way

Ever since the surgery I have had pain in my left side and shooting up into my neck and shoulder.  I figured that it was from gas but what the hell?  It's been 2 1/2 weeks since surgery.  It isn't there all day, it pops in at the most random times.  It really F-ing hurts.  The neck and shoulder pain feel like a kink in my neck (the worst one I've ever had)  I have been staying off my pain meds but if this persists...I may be breaking back into my loratabs.

I'm going to give it a few more weeks because I know I am healing inside.  It it persists after that, I guess I will be going to the doctors.  The last thing I want is complications.....

So I completely forgot to bring my protien with me today to put in my coffee.  I had some protien with Lunch but I am dog-ass tired!  I'm almost falling asleep at my desk.  I just took one of my b-12 pills...maybe that will help a little bit?

So something to look forward to - I just booked a vacation in November for us. Norweigan Cruise Lines - 10 days in the Mediteranian.  It should be amazing.  I can't wait to buy stuff to wear for that trip!  It nine months after my surgery so hopefully I will be wearing something small and cute instead my fat clothes.

I am also going home to Florida to visit some family in July.  I definitely can't wait to go shopping while I'm there! 

Well I should get back to work.  I hope I wake up sometime before it's bedtime, lol.

So I learned a hard lesson.  DO NOT OVER heat your coffee if it has protien in it.  SOOOO GROSS!!! It got all chunky and curdled.  Good thing I have started eating some mushy food so I am able to get other protien in during the day.

So I am finally down 20lbs.  Sadly, I'm not that excited.  I've been this weight and it's still feels huge.  I am glad though that my scale is moving in the right direction though

I'm nervous at the moment to set goals or hope that I will be a certain weight by a certain time...it also sucks that at the moment I may have lost 20lbs but it isn't noticable. 

I went and watched my Rugby team play yesterday.  I hated not being able to get out on the field with them and play.  I know though by the time I'm allowed to go back I will be so much healthier and more of an asset to the team. 

Well I guess I should have called this my "Monday Blah Post" since all I've done is whine

A few good things - Today is my two year wedding anniversary, Wooo
- I've lost twenty pounds
- I'm alive
- It's almost lunch time, lol.

So today will be a little bit of a flash back into my former life before surgery.  I'm meeting a friend for coffee this mornng.  It will be my first coffee since the surgery so I'm a little nervous!  I've really missed my coffee and I'm hoping my protien powder tastes yummy in it

Afterwards I will be going to watch our Rugby team play our arch rivals...it's going to suck not being able to get out on the field and kick some butt right along with them.  I will just have to scream the whole game like a crazy person, lol.    At the moment, I really miss being active.  I miss going to practice and I miss hitting up the gym.  Walking and climbing stairs seem like such a chore at the moment.  I know that the weight will come off...but what I'm really waiting for is that feeling of normalcy to come back.

My hubby leaves for the desert in the next 3 weeks or so.  I'm not looking forward to him not being by my side.  The only perk is that he will be coming home to a new me!  Hope he likes her, lol.

I had a lot of pains in my left side yesterday.  I used to think it was gas when I got them...but I actually think it's where my staples are in my stomach or maybe even my stomach muscle.

I don't get them after I eat or anything.  It's usually after I've been walking.  They shoot all the way over to my incision.  That sucks!  I know I'm healing...but I really can't wait to be totally pain free.

You know what else I'm dreading this morning?  My protien shake.  May attempt a scrambled egg if I get deperate...though my little pouch is growling right now.  Guess I best get on my breakfast, lol.

So I weighed myself this morning and I'm down 18lbs.  I'm really hoping to see 20 at two weeks out.  I know it's wishful thinking but that would be amazing.  It makes the pain of the last 12 days seem a lot more worth it.  I know at my end result...all of it will be really worth it!

I am so looking forward to the 6 week mark.  I can't wait to eat somewhat normal again.  These soups and shakes just fly right through.  I'm not hungry that much...but I'm also not ever full.  I guess I'm looking forward to seeing what something solid in my stomach actually feels like.  I also can't wait to get back in the gym.  I always loved the gym before the surgery...but as my weight slowly ticked up all the classes, running and weights didn't seem as fun or even worth it.  I can't wait to get back out on the Rugby pitch next season and kick some serious ass.  It's a lot more fun to run, tackle and play when you aren't winded the whole game. 

Well I must be getting back to work.  Just wanted to update!

So I'm 11 days out from Surgery.  I am still on the liquid stage.  I have till the 26th before I can enjoy mushy foods...though some of my soups lately have been pretty thick.  I'm not sure if I've lost weight since my last weigh in.(Always expecting the worst) I only weigh myself on Mondays and Fridays so tomorrow is an important day.  I think if I did it everyday it would drive me even more crazy.

I have discovered that I do NOT have dumping syndrome and that I also have no problem getting the foods that I have tried to stay down.  My only issue so far is that water actually gives me a stomach ache everytime I drink it.  I'm not sure if it's my stomach getting used to itself or what...but it's quite annoying.  I've been drinking a lot of skim milk instead which even though it's fat free, it still has calories.  Tomorrow I am going to try some Crystal Light that I have hiding away in my cupboard and see if that helps with the water.
I've lost 15lbs so far.  A little more than a pound a day.  WOOO HOO!

I've been reading people's stories and looking at before and afters.  I still can't believe that that is a possiblity for me.  I can't imagine myself smaller than a 14 or weighing under 200lbs.  Though I will say, I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!  I'm pretty outgoing anyway...in fact, the only thing that has ever held me back was my weight.  Always the fear of being called fat or having someone's retina's burning out because of my rolls, lol.  I can't wait to be me, the real real me.  I hope everyone is ready!