cassyre

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So I hit my centennial mark in my weight loss journey! I can’t tell you how excited I am about my progress. Now there are no major dips in my weight, but the weight loss is keeping at a slow and steady pace. I average about 2lbs a week and I’m very happy with that, because 2lbs a week will definitely get me to my goal.

I tried on jeans this week, and I know I shouldn’t but I got into a size 16!!!! Whoo da flippin’ whoooo!!!! So of course I bought them, because I haven’t been in a 16 since my freshmen year in high school. In fact my graduation dress in the 8^th grade was a size 14, so I’m well on my way to being skinnier than I ever was an adult.

I’m somewhat frightened of what I’m going to look like in a year though. I’ve never been small. When I was at 350lbs and bordering on a size 28, I always told myself that I would be happy in a size 14. Now that I’m approaching that quickly, I’m really freaked out. I’ve always felt beautiful as a BIG woman, it was so much a part of my identity, and I guess in some ways I feel as though I might be losing my identity. Balderdash – you might say (or maybe not if you don’t know what that means) but I don’t know… I hope that you would be right, and that I continue to stay me as my body changes throughout the next few years.

Now there are some cynics out there who are jealous of the fact that I’ve lost so much weight and have been pretty harsh telling me I took the easy way out by having surgery. And so I say to those cynics, AND??? LOL News flash to them, it’s not the easy way out. You’re body has to completely adjust to a new way of life. It just baffles me how many people want to spit on other’s successes. I just keep my head held high because I know that I did what is best for me and I do not regret it for one second.

I’m so glad that I decided to get healthy. And I know by hanging in there, I’ve motivated others to do the same. My best friend Gloria and her Mom are looking hotter than ever. They’re exercising, watching what they eat and feeling amazing and that is what is so important. I’m so proud of them. It’s nice to be able to encourage each other on our journeys. That’s what it’s all about. Getting healthy and feeling good more than anything else. It’s amazing being able to run around all day long and get home and not be deadly exhausted.

 I’m losing weight, looking great, and most importantly feeling great! Thanks for all your support friends!

I’m 5 days post op and I’m feeling AMAZING! I thank God above for the awesome experience I’m having with my gastric bypass. I’m happy to report that a lot normal problems that most bypass patients have, I’m am NOT experiencing. 

I have had absolutely no problems. I know it’s only by the grace of God and the many prayers that have gone up for me that I know why this is possible.

I’m drinking all of my liquids and tolerating all of my protein very well. I feel amazing. I’m even riding 4 to 5 miles a day on my exercise bike. I’m hoping to be up to 10 by the end of this week, but not wanting to push myself at the same time, so we will see.

The best news is that I went to work today to see my BFF on her first day of being principal this year, and because I really, really… wanted to check the scales. I was not disappointed. The scale that put me at 348lb in January of this year, registered me 285. I was so excited I almost peed my pants. I’m well on my way in this journey and so excited.

Thanks to everyone who has kept me in your prayers, emailed, texted and/or come to visit with me. I really appreciate it. I was super bored. Thank God for FACEBOOK! For an instant I probably became one of those annoying people who friended everyone and left random comments on everyone’s page. Hopefully now that I’m getting out and about better and easier maybe that will all stop. LOL.

Well I’m very glad to reporting happy news. I’ll keep you informed with my progress.
Much Love,
Big (not for long), Bold, Beautiful Me!
AKA: Cassy!

So I feel like it’s been a while since I wrote about my goal to becoming a new healthier me. It has not been the easiest 2 and a ½ months of my life that is for sure, I have had lots of ups and downs, but I’m glad to report that I’m doing so WELL!!!

For those of you who don’t know (probably because I didn’t mention it on here) is that I told myself, that once I got down to 300lbs I would treat myself to a meal at my favorite restaurant, Olive Garden. It has been so hard, I’ve stayed around 310 forever… I was definitely like WTH? I honestly felt like just throwing in the towel. I was eating again, as you may have read previously. Then spring week happened, I had so much to do. I gave up  my prep period on a daily basis to set up for lunch time activities, and then spent my lunch having the kids do the activities, so that left me no time for a real meal at lunch, or any time to snack. So I drank my protein shakes and stayed busy. Not to mention that I totally worked off a lot preparing for mine and Gloria’s performance at the talent show (Which if you missed it, was awesome!- hopefully I’ll have it posted soon, for all to see).So with being so busy I didn’t even concentrate on my weight. I did however had to deal with the cravings of my stress food. Every morning I had to tell myself, no double cheeseburgers, no double cheeseburgers.

So Friday afternoon, I went to weigh myself. I usually do so Monday after my week, but I thought since I wouldn’t be in school this week, I should go ahead and low and behold the scale read 300. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy!!!! I have not weighed this since I was a sophomore in college. I can not tell you how proud I am of myself. All of my clothes are fitting a little baggy.  Even in areas that I was not happy about, but I’m still smiling through it. So Olive Garden was my reward. Even though I was exhausted on Friday night after the talent show, Gloria, her husband, and Mona took me to celebrate. I barely made it passed the salad and bread stick before I was full, but it was great. I’ve enjoyed the rest of it all weekend. Monday it’s back to the grind which will be my real test since I’m home this week. But I think the key is to stay busy. Do relaxing things, but also do some active things.

So here’s to my next goal…. 275, is only 100lbs away from my goal weight, so here I come. I’m still thinking what could be my incentive… Olive Garden is way too hearty, I can’t even make it through a meal, but it was delicious. We’ll see. I’m going to see Chris Daughtry on April 26^th and Prom is the 24^th so I’m hoping to be down at least 15 lbs before then. If anyone wants to workout this week, let me know, I can use the group motivation.

My new healthy life is getting old!!!! I’ve definitely hit the plateau. During week 7 I only lost ½ a pound. It was a little discouraging but I know in part why so whatever. It’s because I tasted real food again, food that I had been staying away from. Shame, shame, shame on me. So no real progress over week 7. BUT THEN WEEK 8 Happened!!!!

Week 8 was horrible. I went to a conference in Reno where food and liquor were running rampid!!! I fell off the wagon, well in all technicality I jumped and dove straight in to a pile of yummy delicious French fries. I ate this last week, and not only at my conference, at my dad’s party too. It was sooooooo good. But I’m suffering now, I came into work this morning weighed myself, and I’m a whole 3lbs heavier. Booo!
I know but I’ve climbed back on that wagon, this morning, and it was a tough climb. Especially because a big breakfast burrito from CJ’s was calling my name, and I was so tempted to continue my little binge. I know the consequences, especially in poundage, because if I had stuck to my new healthy life I would have been fine. I made it a point to get physical activity every day I was at that conference, it would have been great if I didn’t eat everything too! OH Well, you live, you learn, you lose, you gain. I’m not going to let myself get to down about it. I’m still doing great! Let’s just hope I get a little more active this week, and eat a lot less food!

I did great last week, now the weekend is a different story! LOL. Food this weekend was great, all full of fat and carbs. But the good news is that even with cheating, I still managed to lose 5lbs. Yeah…So I’m down a total of 35lbs.

I’m fitting into clothes that I haven’t worn in more than 4 years. Today for work, I put on the pants and shirt that I wore to my mom’s funeral. I was like wow!!!

I am officially a size 24 pants again!!!

I know I reported that I got into a 24 at one point but I believe those were a fluke, and what really sucks is that those new pair of jeans that I bought, don’t fit, they’re way too big. I know I shouldn’t buy clothes, because I keep losing, but I like to look good, and looking great means having things that fit. I have a few pair of jeans that are 22’s so I’m ready to move down another size. I Still have 13 more pounds before I meet my goal of being under 300lbs, but I’m so close. I just have to not do anything fun this week so I can stick to my diet better. That’s the problem, I go out and have fun and eat and it’s not usually healthy stuff. I need more will power.

So here we go, week 5 done, and I’m proud to say that I’m am 30lbs lighter. Just for reference that is 3 sacks of potatoes, which is probably the truth since my french fry intake has dramatically decreased from multiple times a day to NEVER!!!

To the tune of the hymn “Oh How I Love Jesus”

Oh how I miss French fries…

Oh how I miss Fren…ch.. fries…..

Oh, how I miss French fries,

Because I love them so!!!!

(Was that sacrilegious? Oh well, Jesus will forgive me)

So this last week was tough, I mean, tough. I cheated more times than not, I don’t even want to think about how much weight I would have lost if I had stuck to my diet to the letter!

This last week was super stressful, so I broke down and went to Olive Garden with my BFF, but it’s okay, she ordered a meal, and I only ate a small portion of her  fettuccine alfredo, some salad, one bread stick, and a order of stuff mushrooms. I’m so glad that I have a great friend that will sacrifice her own caloric intake for me. IT WAS SO GOOD…. I can’t even tell you the amount of pleasure I felt when eating. It was positively sinful, but I enjoyed every bit of it. But even though I cheated there, and on other days I still didn’t go over 2000 calories, so that’s how I’ve continued to loose weight.

I’m so excited. I’m feeling great. I have so much more energy and I find that at the end of the day my body isn’t in as much pain. I’m desperately trying to get down to below 300 before April, when we meet Chris Daughtry … We got VIP tickets to meet the band before the show when they come to Fresno. I want to look extra hot for that fabulous bald man. It shouldn’t be that hard, only 18 more lbs to go. I’m going to tighten my belt this week (which is actually literal too because my pants are fitting baggy) and get it done.

Wow, I can’t believe it’s been a month already!!! It doesn’t even feel like it.

So they called and my insurance approved my Gastric Bypass Surgery… YEAH!!!! But, and it’s a little but, they have to redo it again in May because I’m technically not having the surgery until July. A part of me, really wants to go through with it and just take time off of work, but I have so many commitments in March and April. I have my spring drama show, prom, and everything else. I’m just so anxious, I’m seeing the pounds drop and I just want to lose more.

 I actually love being active, and it kills me that after a few minutes I’m hurting and tired. I know the more weight I lose the more energy and strength I’ll have too! So it sucks that I’m sooooo busy!!! But I need to be more positive, I know that I will need this time to continue working on my will power and only eating healthy food.

 I also realized something very important this week. Sunday lunches at grandma’s are hard, I mean there’s my entire family eating all kinds of delicious foods and I’m there with my little tiny plate of what I can eat. There’s vegetables but their fried in oil and junk I can’t eat. At first this was very upsetting. I thought, ‘damn, my family is supposed to be supporting me’ but this week I was reading some blogs and I read something that really impacted me, I chose this life for myself, and I shouldn’t push it on anyone. It was my decision to do this and my family supports me, but can’t change for me. I’m changing and that’s what matters.

 So I’m down another 4-lbs this week… but it’s been rough. I found myself with less self control. I’ve been hungry. Every food commercial makes my mouth water. But I have been really good with the exception of one night. I did a lot of walking that day so I thought I’d treat myself to a carne asada torta for dinner. I ate half and felt full, but I wanted it all and so I ate it. BAD IDEA!!!! I was stuffed. My stomach hurt so bad, I was in pain. I’ve never felt like that in my entire life. I think my stomach is shrinking. I used to be able to eat a whole torta with a side of rice, and beans, but not anymore. I was hurting so bad, I had to do it… I made myself throw it up. Now I know this might sound disgusting and all but I felt so much better afterwards. Now in no way does this make me bulimic. I didn’t throw up because I felt guilty for eating, I didn’t I loved every bite of it. But there was just too much in my stomach. I need to learn to listen to my body more. I knew when I was full and ignored it and suffered the consequences. It was great lesson to learned, instead of later after post op where a decision like that can actually kill me.

 So all is well now, I’m adjusting still. I knew this was not going to be an easy process. But overall I’m doing well, and I’m feeling really encouraged… and long winded apparently, sorry for the length, and if you read it all thanks for your support too!

This week was definitely interesting. I had some good news and some bad news. So like most people do I’ll start with the bad. I was denied by my insurance to have the Gastric Sleeve. This is the procedure that I wanted most, but the insurance company claimed it as too experimental. It actually has been done for years on the East coast; it’s just newer out here. So I have to go with my second option which is the Gastric Bypass. Which involves a lot more life changes after surgery but I want this, more than anything right now, so I’m going to do it. I have to wait to hear back from the insurance still, but my doctor’s office is ninety percent certain that it will be approved. So that’s the bad news, which is actually not horrible news, it’s just not the news that I wanted.

 So the good news… I went to the AVENUE, where I used to work to see an old friend and check out what they have. (Yes, I know I shouldn’t be buying new clothes while I’m losing weight, but that is seriously harder to give up than food). So while I was there I decided to try on a pair of 26 jeans that didn’t fit me the last time I was there. And lo and behold, they fit!!! I was so happy. When I came out of the dressing room, my friend said they looked baggy and I should try on the 24… I laughed in her face. Whatever…. But she demanded, got them from the rack and put them in my arms, and pushed me back into the dressing room. And as I pulled them up I felt the tightness of a good fit but not like stuffing. I didn’t even have to lie down to zip them. I was ecstatic. I haven’t been in a size 24 since I was a college SOPHOMORE!!! Not everything is fitting in a 24, because things are cut differently and I still have my boobs (which is an extremely good thing, I would hate to lose my best asset) but I can definitely get into some 24’s, so yeah!!!! So on that note, it was definitely a good week.

 So exercising more didn’t happen, I’m just so tired… So I believe it’s lack of protein and other nutrients. So next week I plan on supplementing one of my meals daily with a chocolate protein shake from Costco.  It actually tastes really good. I’m just not sure about drinking these all the time, which is what my diet will consist of for most of the 4 weeks post operation, but for now it’ll be just fine. Baby steps… baby steps.

 I haven’t officially weighed in this week but I’m hoping I’ve reached the 20lb loser mark. It’s all downhill from here. I can’t tell you how pumped I am.

Week 2 of new healthy life.

 You want to know what I discovered… that Thursdays I’m HUNGRY!!! My little 100 calories meals do not cut it on Thursday. My stomach was growling constantly; in meetings, while teaching, while waiting for my 100 calorie soup to heat up in the microwave. LOL. But I survived, I just drank a lot more and managed to only have one small healthy string cheese for an extra snack =]

I did cheat this week, though it’s not really my fault I blame Gloria, my absolute BFF. I was telling her what I made for dinner and she said; “Oh, that’s great. I had Olive Garden, and it was so good.” I was like what the hell??? You’re not supposed to tell me that stuff. I’m in a fragile state here, with the lack of my favorite foods like pasta. I told her I was so angry with her that I was going to ‘shank her, and then lick the knife’ (quoting George Lopez) and do you know what she told me? She said, “Well it will taste life alfredo sauce!” I couldn’t help but laugh but the next day what did I go do… I had Olive Garden, and not just a little bit, I had the fettuccini alfredo dinner with an appetizer of stuffed mushrooms, 2 bread sticks, and a few bites of the salad. Do you know how many calories that is… it’s like 2900. I was like it’s okay, I’ll starve the next 3 days it was freakin’ worth it. LOL.

But no, in the morning I forgave myself for cheating and continued on in my new and healthy way of life and so I do. I survived, which is a great thing. Before when I found myself cheating I usually throw in the towel all together, but I think that I’ve set myself on this new path and I’m not giving in, no matter what. I may splurge, but if it’s once a week, what harm can it really do. I mean I’ve gone from eating fast food nearly 10 times a week to nothing, if that’s not something to celebrate I don’t what is. You know, I don’t even really miss it. As much as I love McDonalds, I’m not even craving one of those juicy little McDoubles. (Well at least I wasn’t until I wrote those words LMAO). I’m stronger this week and it doesn’t seem all that hard. I’m still eating, and for the most part it’s great food so all is well.

So what’s my successes for completing 2 weeks of a new healthy life… well there’s a big problem with that you see on my Dr. Scale I started at 341, but on the school one here I was at 348. I haven’t been to the doctor, so I weighed myself here at school and it looks I’m 338 so that’s a loss of 12lbs. I can’t wait to go to the dr. to see what it’s like there. I know that results aren’t as great as the weeks follows but anything counts.

PS: I’m more active in my daily life, but not because I’m exercising per say… I really need to work on that next week. That’s the goal, at least 15 minutes a day of planned exercising. Will see how that goes.