She's Gone Wild!

Jul 11, 2011

Today I felt so full of hope.  I know the surgery is coming soon, and I really just can't wait to get into a new, much smaller body!  This afternoon I looked in the mirror, and somehow all of the grey at my temples just didn't fit my mood.  I'm only 43, thank you very much, so why should I let myself look older than my actual age?  Of course, I keep my hair covered in public for religious reasons, but still, in the privacy of my own home with my family (especially my husband) my hair isn't always covered.  I also usually just have it all scraped back into a ponytail - no nice cut or style to it.  So today I said "Enough!" and went to the salon...where I got the most expensive haircut of my  life...plus color to cover the grey (it actually took my hair from the mousy shade it's been for the last 20 years back to the dark auburn of my single days), and it looks great!  I came home, took off my tichel and my husband's first words were to tell me that I look 10 years younger!  Gotta love that guy.

I think that after so many years of being obese there came a point where in some ways I had just stopped caring for myself as I should have.  Perhaps one of the lessons of this whole experience is going to be to learn to have a little kindness to myself.  It's easy with several children, kah, to give and give to the unceasing demands on us until there's nothing left inside, which ultimately is no good for anybody.  Balance.  Balance. 

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