Support Groups

Oct 09, 2009

My surgeon's office sponsors local support groups in Knoxville and the surrounding areas.  His patients are required to go to at least one before they are approved for WLS.  I'm going to at least 2 per month.  They are awesome!  The moderators aren't necessarily thin and beautiful WLS successes - in fact most of them are quite open about their struggles, emphasizing that WLS is "just a tool," and that we have to assume reponsibility for the rest - exercise, healthier eating habits, better food choices, making sure you get your water, protein, and vitamins in, etc.  On the other hand, there are generally one or two of those thin and beautiful WLS successes in the crowd, and they are really inspiring!  And they are say the same things that everyone else is... "It's just another tool, and you have to do your part."

I was nervous at first.  I mean, I didn't know anyone there,and I didn't know anyone's "story," so I didn't know how I would fit in.  I quickly found out that in these groups, I am not being judged the way I am in the outside world, on the basis of my weight.  In fact, one of my first reactions was to think, "Am I really fat enough to need to be here (or having WLS, for that matter)?"  Part of that is that I really don't have a clue, until I look at pictures, of how big I really am.  In the mirror, it just doesn't seem to be as bad.  Crazy, these distorted eating disordered body images!  A person with anorexia will look in a mirror and see a fat person - obese people like me look in the mirror, and while the person there may not necessarily be thin, she's "not that fat" either!  Unless I'm holding up a picture of myself and comparing it to other obese people, I have a hard time seeing myself  the same way I see them.  The other part of that is that, with "only" 130 or so pounds to lose and a BMI just under 40, I am apparently what's considered a "lightweight."  However, no one there is judging me for that, either.  They listen, and they can relate to my pain - both physical and psychological.  And I think that those with the BMI's higher than mine wish that they had considered WLS when their BMI was near mine.  I hear it over and over again - "I just wish I had done it sooner..."

My family's support for my decision to have WLS was tepid, at best.  I was really feeling the weight of that over the past weekend.  Here I am, spending an awful lot of time, effort and energy getting ready for the big day, and feeling like I don't really have anyone in my family to share it with!  I must have had that pain written all over me when I went into my support group meeting this week, because several people made it a point to introduce themselves, ask me how I'm doing, and answer my questions.  When I told them that I have a surgery date, they actually applauded!  It was a big difference from the "So, you're really going to do this?" reaction I got from my family!  I left the meeting feeling lighter than I had in days.  It also gave me the courage to open the subject up to my family.  It was hard at first, but I'm happy to say that they seem to be coming around, and they're even  trying protein shakes and Fage yogurt concoctions with me!

I have not discussed my upcoming WLS with most of my coworkers - that is by design and supported by the support groups.  My boss knows, because I felt like it would be irresponsible NOT to tell her what's going on and what a major surgery I am having.  But not everyone understands, and I don't have the energy to argue the point with anyone besides those who are closest to me right now.   After the fact, I doubt I'll be a Star Jones and tell people that the weight loss is just all about "portion control," but going in, I'm feeling the need to focus on my OWN thoughts and feelings and those of my family and closest friends, and that's enough.

I'm sold on the support groups, and I envision myself going back to them indefinitely.  If any of you guys in my support groups are reading this, THANK YOU!!!

0 Comments