Chastity M.

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I had a slight fill yesturday, .25 brining me up to 8.75 cc and I am feeling good.  According to the drs scale I was down 93lbs, but I think there scale weights heavy.... Anyway I am about 35lbs away from my goal and I think I am doing great. According to my scale I am down 100lbs, but hey it is ok.  I am begining to get a few more compliments, and that feels great.  I am glad that it is finally noticable.  We will see how this fill works, hopefully I am not to tight.

 

So I officially am below 200lbs!!!!!! Congratulations to me!

So I have 8.5 in the band, and I do have restriction. I had a fill last week, I have stopped keeping track cause that is like my 15th fill.  I think I am in a good place restriction wise, I think I might be a little tight, but I am happy with it.I have lost 89lbs, I am a few lbs away from hitting 200 and I can't wait.  Also I have been able to wear normal sized clothing, which is a huge accomplishment for me.  I am in a xl-xxl top and a 18-16 bottoms, which I am thrilled with.  I am so happy that it is working finally that I am trying to get myself back to the gym.  I am also continuing with therapy which is good.  I need it for sure.  I had no idea that I had an eating disorder, and how difficult it was going to be to fight it and begin the healing process.  I guess I am in a place right now where I am trying to change my dependencies on food to other things that actually make me feel good, and realizing that the food doesn't make me feel good.  I am also figuring out who in my life helps me, who is supportive and who gives me back what I give them.  More or less who makes me feel good.  It is a very lonely place to be in right now, but I am working on it and trying to make myself happy and being good to myself.  I spend/spent allot of time trying to make others happy cause that is what I thought made me happy, but it isn't.  Anyway enough of myself reflections.  I think the biggest comment I can make here is that it isn't as simple as getting a band and everything is fixed.  I say it starts with a band, the band diet, when that stops working and you platue, is when the work really starts and you start to figure out why you really eat and why you are overweight, but that is when the most successful time is.  So good luck to all who read this, and please be kind to yourself! 

 

What a journey, I am down 87lbs, and I am feeling good.  I want to put more exercise in my paln, but I am struggling with that.  So I am going to take it one day at a time a shoot for 30 minutes most days.  Weekends are still a challange for me, but I am working on them.

 

I have finally hit 80lbs gone!! Yah!!!

SO I have now had another fill and I have 8 cces in my 10 cc band, and it is working, almost a little too much.  I have lots of restriction, and I have to make sure I eat slow and take very small bites.  But it is finally working.  What an adventure!

So as of today I have lost 75lbs.  I would love to loose another 40 and I would be very happy, but 30 would be great too.  I finally feel better, and it is a huge adjustment, but it is going well.  I have had a few episodes of getting stuck and throwing up or PBing the stuff I didn't chew well enough, but I am learning all over again.

I am very happy with the therapy that I have saught also, I cannot say I would be where I am with out it.  They people I have been working with are fantastic!  I do have a eating disorder, it is not the typical ones, but I have one, and coming to terms with that has been a bigger challange than I ever thought I would go through.  I never thought I would have this happen once I was banded, I just thougth that I would get banded and it would work and  I would loose all this weight, but nope doesn't happen that way.  There are reasons why I was heavy to start with, and now I am figuring out why!  It is amazing that it all works together or against you.

So my biggest recomndation for anyone is take your time, don't rush it, figure out why you eat and figure out new ways to statisfy that without eating.  I have started taking more pictures and I am going to get back into my hobbies!  We all can do it, just take one day at a time.

So I know I haven't updated in a while, and that has mainly been because I thought that I was having some major problems with my band.  I went for another fill in March, and the dr put me up to 4.5 in the 4 cc band, still no restriction, not good.  I went back in April, 4.9, still nothing, however this time we talked about him checking things out and seeing what the problem was.  He though that I could have scar tissue built up, and that my options were, live with it the way it is, have surgery to place it in another location or have gastric bypass, which is not what I wanted.  So, last week April 28th I went for an Xray, and long story short, I have a 10 cc band not a 4! Unbelievable!  I had specifically asked him 2 months ago if there was a chance I had the larger band, and he said absolutely not!  Hun I guess he was wrong.  So I was mad for a little bit, but it really doesn't help me at this point to be mad.  So while I was in my x-ray my dr put me up to 7ccs in the 10 cc band.  So now I can hear water go through, and I defiantly have some restriction.  Which is great, but it is a learning curve.  I have lost 65lbs at this point, and have done it basically on my own, so I am very proud of that.  I have also begun to seek some help for some of the food issues that  I have, and I am really beginning to get my life in order.  I am restructuring a bit, which for me is very important. I need to start doing things for me not others.  I had gained about 5-8lbs back through the whole figuring out what is going on thing, but in the past I would have gained it all back and then some so I feel like I am doing fantastic!  I also have been working on trying to live my life, I donated my hair to locks of love and got a hair cut, instead of waiting until I had gotten to my goal! So things are well.

So from here I am working on living with my restriction, and learning what foods I can eat and what ones I cannot eat, and I have to also schedule my next catscan for my liver.  I will update everyone when I get to that.

So I had another fill today, I think it was my 12th fill, I have 4.2 cces in my 4 cc band, the dr says we can go up to 4.5 safely.  I am still not feeling much restriction, and I am pretty frustrated.  I have almost stoped lossing weight, and I am in the process of working out some of the emotional eating issues that I did not realize I had until I hit this point.  I think I knew they were there, but I don't think that I realized how much they were running my life, or for lack of better words, ruining my life.

So today is my one year band anniversary!  I am officially 1/2 way to my goal!  67.5lbs down as of this morning!  I will do some measurements and post them soon too!

So what is different one year later?  Well I have lost 67lbs, I feel better, my skin feels better, I am in a size 18 pant, and a 1x or XL top, I am happier, I am taking much better care of myself, I want to learn more about how to manage my food and my life better...

I had a fill yesterday and now I have 3.8 ccs in my 4 cc band, and I am crossing my fingers that it gives me the restriction I am hoping for. 

The things that I am surprised about is that no matter what I do people still just don't understand.  I am also amazed at how unsupportive some people are, I think they may mean well, but they just don't understand.  This has been a major change for me in my life, and I just would appreciate it if others would notice and try to help more, but I cannot expect others to understand.  I am just surprised.  I am also surprised about how much I have missed some foods, and how dependent I was on food to make me feel better.  I really thought I had no food issues, but you know what I really do.  I am not completely sure about what they are, but I know I have some and I am working on figuring them out.

I am so glad I had my band, I really don't think I could have gotten this far with out it.  I have a ways to go, and I really want to start getting much more proactive about exercising.  In the next 6 months to a year I would like to get closer to my goal and start exercising at least 30 minutes a day. 

Thank you to everyone who has been supportive and for checking out my blog frequently!  Your support has been unbelievable and so supportive!  Thank you I need all the support I can get!

 

So I had my 9th fill yesturday, I am at 3.3ccs in my 4 cc band.  So far so good.  I am officially down 67lbs as of today, and I hope to continue the loss.  I was on a platue for a long time, and was a little frustrated with the fact that it has taken me at least 9 fills to get more restriction, I hope this one helps.  I had some restriction before in the am, but by the evening nothing, so maybe this will be better.  At least I will be closer, the fact that I am loosing again is great, and hopefully means I am more restricted.  I am about 10lbs away from being half way to my goal. I am hoping to hit the half way mark by my one year anniversay of my band, 11/29. 

I had the follow up Cat-scan last Friday, and everything is the same no growth and no shrinkage so everything is good for now.  They will continue to monitor my liver, and we will see what happens.  I did not have a reaction to the dye this time, I had alot of meds in me this time to help so that is good. 

I will keep everyone posted on the progress.  I want to thank everyone for thier support.  Love you all!