christina2911

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Sorry it's been so long since my last post.  I have been very busy, as is everyone.  Still losing weight steadily, although it's slowed down quite a bit, I'm actually very happy about that.  I feel like it will give my skin a chance to shrink.  I have lost a total of 130 ish pounds to date and am so so pleased.  I now fit into a size large (14) and when I started out, I was nearly needing to wear a 4x (26-28)  I can finally find clothes in just about any store I go in to, although I keep trying to limit myself because I still want to loose about 50 more pounds or so.  I realize I have bones that I didn't know I had. lol  Anyway, just a quick update.  I will try to come back more often.  Hope everyone is doing well. :)

Christy

My surgery was Dec 20th of this year, just over 3 months ago and around 85lbs lost.  Every now and then someone I work with will say "I can tell you're losing", but for the most part, because I'm with them every weekday, they are seeing every step, so they don't realize as much.  Same with me and and my husband with the exception of how clothes fit now (or don't fit because they are too big)  Today for the first time, 2 people that don't know me well, but have seen me many times asked me what's different about me (besides my haircut)  When I said, "well, I've lost some weight" they said "I was going to ask, because I thought you had"  One person, a patient at the dental office I work at and the other a "waiter" at a local restaurant.  It felt so good to have someone acknowledge the weight loss that had no idea I'd had surgery or was even trying to lose.  Funny how 85 lbs is a lot and then again, not so much. :)  I still have about that amount to lose, but I'm well on my way and so so so happy. 

It's amazing how just a little time can make such a difference.  The last blog I posted was the end of January... I didn't realize how long it had been.   So much has happened in my recovery since then.   At about 6 week post opt I had a major change in my recovery.  From one day to the next I was able to start tolerating more foods.  I realized, even more, the fact that not only chewing the heck out of each bite was important, but really taking time between bites of food was key to helping me not fill up too fast as well as not get sick and need to throw up.  I still have to really concentrate to do that.  I have to remind myself to slow down and really take time.  I also have had relief in the hydration department.  I found that "Simply Orange" orange juice cut with water and plenty of ice really tastes great and quenches my thirst.  As a dental assistant, I make sure to brush my teeth often because of the amount of sugar in juice.  It's also why I dilute it with water, not only for the health of my teeth, but for the amount of sugar intake.  It's still difficult to drink water, but I found a brand that I can tolerate much better "Pure" bottled water.
I was telling my psychologist (who I decided to keep going to to help me thru all of the changes in my life post surgery) that I'm starting to get more complements from most everyone who knew me before, which is nice, but one thing I've noticed as well is the ... attentiveness I've gotten from strangers.  Let me explain.  My husband and I were grocery shopping.  I had accidently dropped a tomato and before I could reach down to pick it up, a man who was walking by reached down and picked it up for me.  A very small gesture, but of course, very kind.  I realized that that never happened when I was heavier.  This is just one example.  It's a terrible thing that heavier people are almost "punished" for being heavy by not receiving that type of kindness from strangers.  To me is shows a terrible side of our "humanness"  On the other hand, what a wonderful feeling when others start treating you with more human respect and dignity as I get smaller.  This is just an added benefit, to be treated more like a human, to losing weight.  A sad symptom in our society, but nevertheless reality. 

I have lost quite a bit of weight.  I'm extremely happy about that.  I've read and heard that 3 things are important after WLS.  Protein, Water and exercise.  I've always LOVED pure water, however, from day one of surgery, when I take a sip of water, even very tiny, it hurts my stomach.  I have tried luke warm, ice cold, and hot.  Each do okay for a couple of sips if I'm lucky, but I've yet to just drink a glass of water without issue.  I have tried unsweetened tea, hot or iced (my favorite even prior to surgery) and I have about the same results as water.  Has anyone else had this issue?  Is it temporary?  Am I doing something wrong?  I don't think I'm drinking too much or too fast (even one little sip)???

Another concern I have... I cannot eat anything sweet anymore.  I actually start gagging and nearly throw up.  This eliminates almost all protien drinks.  I considered watering it down, but that means I have much much more to drink and it's difficult to drink enough as it is.  Any suggestions?  Any products that taste like unsweeted tea?? :) 

Okay,  thats about it.  I hope that anyone can give me some feedback.  I need help.

Thank you.

Last Friday I was at my psychologist appt (I started going to her as a result of my pre-op evaluation)  I decided that my overeating was a result of many things, including how I handle stress and other emotions.  It was/is my way of avoiding truly feeling and dealing with various situations in life.  I also didn't want to trade one addiction for another.  Anyway, I was talking with Dr Wood and telling her that I've been doing really good with the food- not trying to eat things that my doctor has advised me to avoid for now- basically pre-op diet.  I commented that it's been easy because I'm sort of following my "prescription" because if I don't, I can physically hurt myself.  I then expressed that my concern is when I'm healed and have gotten past the prescribed food restrictions.  Then I won't have someone telling me what to eat when etc.... when out of my mouth I stated "at that point I will have to be my own mommy"   I lost my mom almost 10 yrs ago.  I was very close with her all my life.  She was my best friend, my advisor, my source of encouragement and wisdom.  I didn't just start feeling that way after she passed away...it's easy to "idolize" those we miss.. I have always felt that way about my mom.   Dr Wood then asked me "what would your mom do to help you thru your efforts"   WOW,  if I now need to be my own mommy, what better example to follow about how to be a good "mommy" to myself.  My mom would have given my plenty of hugs.  She would have ask the doctor questions about my health and what was important to remember thru this process.  She would have nurtured me.  Nurture is a very strong word.  If I am being my own mommy, then I need to nurture myself.. hmmmm.  I'm gonna have to learn what all that means, but in a nutshell, it's time I treat myself kindly.  Give myself a chance to talk... and I need to really listen.  You know, I could tell my  mom anything and she didn't judge me... that doesn't mean she was always pleased with my decisions, but she allowed me to be my own person.  I also would do some things different.  For example, mom would offer food as a form of love.  She would make something at just about any hour... if you were hungry or if you were not, she would offer... several times-almost try to talk you into being hungry.  It was her way of showing love... I need to find a more healthy way to show love.... she was not lacking in ways to show her love in other ways, by the way, meals and food where just one and a common one.   I am still planning on exploring what "being my own  mommy" means for me.  The basic meaning when I made the statement was that I have to discipline myself.  I need to find a way to eat healthy, even when my body is healed and I become less afraid to eat things etc.   Anyway, just wanted to share it. 

I have a subject I will be able to speak about with my psychologist that I'm seeing since starting this process.  One thing I have learned that I hadn't thought of is that my "go to" for comfort for stress,  sadness, happiness... everything, has been eating which is one of the reasons I have gained weight over the years.  When I am no longer able to go to food to comfort me, The likeliness of me "getting addicted" to  another vice is a strong possibility.  I say "vice", but depending on how a person learns to cope, it may be a positive addiction (if there is such a thing) 
The new subject that is upsetting and sort of depressing me is a lack of support at my job.  I have worked in the same office collectively for the past 15yrs.  The last time I was hired, I was asked by my doctor to consider coming back to work with him.  I work very very hard and keep a positive attitude with my patients as well as with those I work with... even ones who make it very difficult to keep a postive attitude.  I have never taken vacation time during times when we are seeing patients (I always take  days when the doctor is going to be out of the office) which means I haven't had a vacation with more than a day or two at a time in all this time.  I finally make a decision to do something for me... have this weight loss surgery.... I have been talking with my boss since March of this past year.  I needed to have the surgery prior to the end of the year for insurance purposes as well as all of the pre-op tests.  It just so happens that one of the front office people needed to be gone as well because she had a baby and took a few weeks off to stay home with her baby.  I know it wasn't the best timing, but in reality, there is no "best timing" .  I had surgery 2 weeks ago and attempted to go back to work yesterday.  I made it, with a lot of difficutly.  At one point, I thought I would faint, I turned pale and got that clammy feeling.  I did lay down in a chair (dental chair) for about 10 min and was feeling better, but still very tired.  By the end of the day I had a pain in my side and, of course was very very tired.  After my 45 min drive home, it was all I could do to eat a little cottage cheese and went straight to bed (maybe 7:30)  Ths morning when I tried to get up, I nearly passed out when I was getting ready to get into the shower, my ribs and side were hurting, so I called in and said I would not be able to be there.  I haven't even been cleared by my surgeon to go back to work officiallyThere are 5 supporting people there even with the 2 of us gone for 1 doctor, the problem is that there are 2 people who refuse to do anything other than their normal jobs.  They are not team players.  Everyone else in the office are expected to cover for them when they can't be here, or, for example when one of them are gone, but they will not do a darn thing to help cover for anyone else.  (Excuse me) It really pisses me off!  Worse than that, the doctor knows it, has known it, is frustrated by it and yet does NOTHING about it.  It's those of us who really give him 150% who the pressure is put on.  I refuse to feel guilty for taking this time to better myself.  I refuse to allow this negative situation at work to affect not only my life at work, but my personal life as well.  This is just things coming to a head.  It's been this way for years which is one of the reasons I moved out of the situation before.  I just thought he'd had an epiphany when we talked and he wanted me back.   I am considering, first a heart to heart with  my boss and then, making a positive change myself if one isn't accomplished thru our talk. 

Sorry if this is a bit of a faux pas to speak about, however, I feel it's absolutely nessesary to give information to others to aid them in the decisions they make before and after surgery to keep misery a little farther from them. :)  And boy, talk about misery. 
Last Sunday, the day before my surgery, I experienced for one of the first times in my adult life and total life that I can remember, the worst constipation... honestly, I had no idea how terrible it could be.  I did get thru it, however, in about 30 min and vowed to drink more water and hoped it would go away as soon as the surgery was here.  I decided it was because I wasn't eating very much (I usually have had at least one bowel movement per day all my life and never any trouble really)  I was suprised I had anything in my intestines to be constipated about because of my lack of any chewable food.  Now fast forward almost a week, to yesterday, Christmas Day... my gift from Santa(LOL)  just kidding.  I was feeling great, hadn't had a bowel movement since the previous Sunday-the day of horror, but didn't really think anything of it because, after all, I just had surgery and I was barely eating anything at all, much less actually food.  Only liquids and at best , mostly water at that point.  Around 11:30 I went to the bathroom just before taking a shower, thinking I only needed to urinate.  I had no urge to do anything else,  (excuse me) as I was urinating, I realized that my body was trying to elimate something else and I commented to my husband, oh good, it seems my bowls have reawakened!!  The excitement soon vanished as I realized that it wasn't going to go anywhere, it was just .... THERE.  I was in so much pain and after trying for a solid hour, my sweet husband rushed to the only store that, Thank GOD was open on Christmas day and bought suppositories (sp?) I was near tears by the time he returned... I had tried taking a hot shower thinking it would relax my muscles..  The entire time, I didn't have any discomfort in my tummy, just my poor sphincter(sp?)   I place one of the supositories.  The instructions said it would work within 15min to an hour, so I went, with all my pain to lay on my bed.  An hour passed and I went to try again.  I barely had a small movement, but not enough for relief.  I could tell it was working, but it was still so so miserable.  We were due to leave to go to some friends house to celebrate Christmas, but that was not happening... not right then.  My husband suggested I try another suppository and even though the instructions said to only use once per day, I decided this emergency called for extra measures.  I put another and laid down for an hour, got up and tried again.  Again, a small amount came out, but it was much better than before.  The decision was easy to put yet another in.  I laid down another  hour and FINALLY, but with a lot of strain and pain I was able to complete the task.  I was so exausted after that nearly 5 hour ordeal that I realized I should have taken some precautions prior to getting myself into that situation.  Unfortunately,  it either didn't register or I never saw any posts regarding this potential issue, and was the worse for it.  Let me just say to anyone reading this blog...... TAKE YOUR PRECAUTIONS!!!!!  Even if, or especially if you have never had issues with constipation before surgery.  Your life has changed.  It could be a minor issue if you follow a few simple, but extremely important guidelines.  Put some sort of fiber powder in your liquids.. my husband found one that is from walgreens.  It's a generic.  It doesn't gel like Metimucil does and it's not flavored, so it's very easy to sprinkle it into your food, or beverages and not feel any difference.  I'm finding Metimucil difficult to deal with, even if it says it's unflavored, I can taste it and the texture (similar to snot or a hawker..sorry) is terrible.  That being said, if that was my only choice, I would take that over what I experienced yesterday without hesitation.   Talk with your doctor about what he recommends and do it.  My doctor mentioned getting some Metimucil or similar product on the day he came to see me after surgery.  It was a brief comment which registered enough for me to have my husband get some that night.  I put a little in occasionally, but not the 3 times a day, like the instructions say and most of the time, I didn't even finish what I was eating so not much made its way into my body.  I do thank my Lord that I was finished being sore from surgery.  That morning I had noted that it didn't hurt anywhere to take my deep breathes or to cough or move or go over bumps in the road while riding in the car.  I haven't had a pain pill since Friday morning at 10 am.  Had I still been sore and going thru that, I may have passed out or had to be taken to the hospital.   The end of the story (well, to this point) is that we got to our friends house about 5 hours late, they welcomed us with open arms... my story was that I was just exausted from all of the Christmas activities and needed to rest longer.. my husband -who thinks he is a comedian threatened he was going to say that we had a slight emergency involving concrete and a cork screw (seriously, I was  about to get a spoon to start digging (so so sorry) but thank goodness it didn't come to that.  He was so supportive and helpful throughout the entire ordeal, but when it was over, he could hardly contain his laughter.. I have to admit, in hind sight (pardon the pun) it was rather comical.... but not really.  I don't want to every experience that again.  Tomorrow I will be able to try eating smashed beans, which I believe will help tremendously if I can tolerate them, but I will continue with the fiber powder until the coast is clear. 
Now, all of that being said, my recovery has really been as good as I could expect.  Every day I feel better and better.  I'm almost back to my normal comfortable feelings when I walk or sit etc.  I have noticed being just a little more sensitive to smells.   We got a hand soap as a gift from someone from Bath and Body called Twilight Woods that I am really having trouble with...not sure why.  My husband really likes the smell.  Smelling some foods that my husband cooks for himself have caused me to have a bit of a quezzy (sp?) reaction, but in general, I feel much much much better.  I have another week before I need to return to work and I feel that by that time, I should be back in full swong, although I really enjoy being home with my little doggie and being able to see my husband thru the week.  He works from3:30 to midnight and my sched is 7:30 to 5pm so we don't see each other until Friday and Sat and Sunday morning normally.  Kinda wears on me and has been a contributor to my emotional (loneliness) eating in the evenings for several years.  Well, gotta deal with it because that's how it is.  
Alright, enough rambling for today.  I hope this was helpful to someone.  It was therapy for me to be able to right it. 

Love to all

Well, I feel even better today.  I am having to take my pain pills much less.  I am still taking my pepsid 2 times daily.  Today I get to start eating sugar free  pudding, my protien shakes and whatnot.  One thing I've noticed is that everytime I take a sip of water (and especially when I need to take my pills which I cut into small pieces so I can drink smaller amounts of water, my tummy gets really upset.  Sooooo, today I decided to warm my water and what a difference.  I was beginning to worry that I would be sick to drink water, but not anymore.  I will just drink it as if I'm having hot tea.  I am limited to one serviing of decaffinated tea per day because even decaf can dehydrate you.  I still have no appetite whatsoever.  It's weird because my husband is cooking food for himself that smells fabulous, but I have no desire to eat.  I have more energy today that yesterday.  Every day is better and better.  My incisions look like they are beginning to heal as well.  most are just a tiny thin line.  My doctor uses what looks like superglue to close.  I can shower and wash them well, but I cannot soak in the tub for a while.  (I don't have a tub, so not a biggie):)  I'm going to my sisters house for Christmas eve tonight.  Looking forward to getting out.  Lastnight my husband and I went to walmart and ended up walking around for almost 2 hours.  It felt great.   I was a little more sore lastnight when I went to bed... I'm sure because of our extended excursion. Tonight I will be able to lay down on the couch if I get tired. 
I want to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays (whatever you celebrate during this time)  I thank each of you for your input on this website.  I am positive it is what has helped me do as well as I have.  I'm so blessed to have your help. 

Christy

Today is the 3rd day after surgery and I'm feeling much better, although not 100%.  Surgery day seems surreal.  It seems now like a dream.  I guess my blood pressure was very low for a while and I was in recovery for longer than expected.  I don't remember how I got to my hospital room, but I do remember being in the bed and feeling quite a bit of pressure/pain in my left side and  the bottom of my rib cage, especially in the middle- bottom of my sternum (the middle bone in your chest).  I just kept remembering from others on this website saying "the sooner you get up to walk, the sooner you will feel better" So I asked that I get up.  They helped me get into a chair that was in the room and it felt a little better (this was about the time the family came into the room), but I kept hearing the voice in my head from what I'd read here that I need to get up and walk, so I said, Okay I'm ready to walk.  I was very shaky, but had people around me to support me and I started to walk, and even if i was sore, I felt GREAT.  I knew I was doing exactly what I needed to do to begin recovery with a headstart.  The nurse told me that I was the last of the 3 bariatric surgeries that day and the first to get up and move.  I told her it was thanks to the OH website support group. By the time I got back to my bed, even though I was tired, I felt much much much better.  I took a nap, asked for pain medicine before it was too much.  When I woke up, I tried deep breathing, sipping water (my mouth was extremely dry, in fact that was the reason I felt like going back to my room when I went on my walks and not so much being tired), moving my legs etc.  On my second walk at 10 that evening, I went more than twice as far.  The third time I got up to walk (at 1:30 in the morning- had been sleeping quite a bit and thought since I was awake, that I'd try to walk.  They had taken my cathater(sp?) out at around 6:30 pm and said if I hadn't urninated by 4am, they would need to put it back in again, so I was motivated to walk to get that going again too.  My 1:30 walk was all by myself and I walked twice again as far as the second walk... so farther and farther each time.  When I returned I was able to urinate, even if it was just a little and the nurse was so excited with me.  She said it didn't matter that it was just a little, the issue was that the bladder was waking up.  I kept noting these small goals and it really helped keep me focused and moving forward.   I'm getting a little tired for now, so I will continue my experience up to this point in another blog.  :) Nappy time. :)

This morning I showed a loss   of 2 more pounds.  All said since last Monday I've lost 14 pounds on my liquid diet so far.  At this rate I should get to at least a 50 BMI if not lower prior to sugery which will be awesome.  This time is going to go so fast now.  I have two days of work left this week. (I normally have a 4 day work week), but Thursday is my pre-op and endoscopy.  Because they're going to give anesthesia for the endoscopy, I'm not sure if I will feel up to work in the afternoon.  I will go in if I can, but I'm not supposed to drive, so I figure it may not be such a good idea to work in peoples mouths in that condition lol.  My husband's weekend is Friday and Saturday and then Sunday I get to eat broth (clear liquids) so I am looking forward to that.  Then Monday the 20th is the big day.  I'm nervous and excited at the same time.  It helps tremendously to read what other people went thru good and bad.  I like to be prepared for anything and will post what happened for others to have more info.  Best wishes to everyone.