Ten Things I Miss

May 09, 2009

I guess if I hadn't been fat and then not so fat and then fat again, I wouldn't know what I'm missing out on.  There are sooooooooo many things that I really, really miss. 

1.  I miss wearing my high heels.  All that talk about pounds per square inch and torturing your feet I can attest to.  I can't wait until I can once again torturer my feet and dang didn't they look great while they were being tortured.

2. Dancing!  Lord, don't I miss dancing.  Any kind of dancing at all.  I always assumed it would be my broken foot or knee surgery that stopped me from dancing.  Nope, it's my weight and my fibro.  All this extra weight has put a huge strain on my joints.  I can't wait until down enough for me to start dancing again. Tap, jazz, ballet, belly or ballroom makes no difference to me,  I want to dance them all!

3. Cross my legs.  Such a simple thing really.  I long for the days when I could cross my legs and dangle my little ole shoe from by big toe.  

4. Kayaking!   One of my favorite things to do with both of my daughters.   I'm not sure if the kayak would even hold me now.  I do know that my balance is so far off that I'm terrified to even try getting into the kayak.

5.  I miss my garden   I want to be able to get down on my knees and dig through that dirt.   I want to pull up the weeds, plant my flowers and feel confident that I'll be able to get back up without hurting myself.

6. Simply hopping into my car and going for a spur of the moment road trip.  I used to love to grab my camera, jump in the car and hit the road.  Those days have been gone for the past few years.   Between the excess weight and the fibro it seems like a chore to get anyway now days.

7. Go horseback riding with my daughter.  My butt on a horse.....need I say more????

8.  Leave the house and not worry about who I might run into.   I hate the way that I look and the way that I feel.  I'm ashamed of myself for putting on all this weight.  I feel like people are looking at me and gossiping about what I look like now.

9. Shop!   Oh yes!  I want to shop.  Shop til I drop.  Shop til you drop. Shop until the whole world drops, but boy or boy do I want to shop!  Hmm...not just any old shopping mind you.  I want to shop anywhere I choose.   I don't want to have to stay to my little "plus" size area.   I want to look for something I like first instead of looking to see what will fit me first.

10.  Join the human race.   I feel that I have dropped out.   There are just too many places and things that my weight interrupts.   I want it gone.   I want to be healthy.  I want to be happy.   I want to have choices.  I want to make good choices.  I want to go to the gym, the amusement park, on a plane, the pool, the mall and any other dang place I feel like going.

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