Connie_S

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Well, today I stepped on the scale and finally, finally, I have attained my second major goal:  100 pounds lost!  What a wonderful blessing!  I am thrilled.  My knee is still messed up, and I guess I'll have to break down and go back to the orthopedist (bummer), but I've got to find a way to be able to get back to regular exercise.  I can't afford for my weight loss to be slowing down because I can't walk right now.  May even check into the local wellness center and see if there are things I could do to burn calories that don't involve knees!  Anyway, I am really excited!!  116 pounds to go!!! 
connie

Well, I am a little better than 6 months post-op, and through my first string of holidays successfully.  I actually lost 5 pounds the week of Christmas.  It's rare for me to loose 5 pounds in a week, so it was a real treat.  I was in the 'super-obese' category before I started the pre-surgery liquid diet, weighing 367 pounds (5'6" tall) and that means it takes a lot longer for weight loss to show on me than it does on those who have only 100-125 pounds to loose.  In fact, I've lost 97 pounds and only dropped 3 clothes sizes (started at 30/32) and it's only been in the last 3 weeks that people seem to universally look at me in amazement and say: 'WOW! You're really loosing now aren't you??'  Well, actually, no, I'm loosing at the same pace I've always lost at (which seems a snails pace to me - but I'm learning to deal with that), it's just that I finally am in the 'zone' of the relatively normal at 270 pounds.  And it really feels amazing.

I am now wearing size 22/24 (and they are getting big).  These are the last of the clothes I had in my closet.  Colleagues at work asked me if I was getting clothes for Christmas and I said 'no'.  I shared with them that I had always had to wear tight things and it felt so good to be wearing loose clothes that I remember growing out of 6 years ago.  I don't plan to buy new clothes until these are literally ready to fall off!  One friend looked me squarely in the eye and said "it's time connie."  Well, maybe from where she sits, but not from my chair!  Not yet at least! 

I notice, in public places, people are meeting my eye more and 'connecting' with me more somehow.  I don't think I realized before that they didn't make that fleeting connection with me as we passed in the halls or on the streets or as they walked by me in a booth at a resturant - but because it's happening so much now, I have noticed.  Don't know exactly what to make of it yet, but keeping my radar up to see how/if that continues. 

I went to lunch on Friday with my 93 year old aunt at her retirement community dining room.  The chairs were those ornate little chairs with arms.  Something I would never have considered trying to sit in at 367 pounds because: #1 - It would be highly unlikey I would fit, and #2 - I might actually break it.   But I had no fear on Friday.  I pulled out my seat, and sat down confidently, simply knowing I would fit.  And I did.  It was such a wonderful experience!! 

Two weeks ago, for the first time in 20 years, I had the ridiculous urge to cross my legs.  I was seated on a sofa at my moms' house, and sort of leaning in, toward the arm and I found myself slinging my left leg over my right knee even before I really considered it.  To my complete surprise and amazement....it worked!  I never would have thought I could do that at this point!!  It still isn't the most comfortable position for me, and I don't do it much, but I love that my body knew it could do that before I realized it could! 

I love that I actually have a lap now.  When having lunch, and sitting there talking to friends, I surprise myself by crossing my arms over my stomach and resting them on my lap.  And they actually reach half way around my own body!  See...before surgery, I had difficulty reaching to wash my own feet because of my size.  To be able to reach all of my body without problems simply amazes me. 

I no longer have problems fitting into resturant booths.  The tightest booths that I know of in my area are at Fatz Resturant.  I always had to request a table with chairs.  But no more.  I slide right in and have room to spare!  What a blessing!! 

I have degenerative arthritis, and have difficulty standing and walking as a result of that.  When I was at 367 pounds, I was actually using a cane to walk.  Admittedly, walking has continued to be difficult for me, but I have to say, as I continued to work at it, and pursued it relentlessly over the past 6 months on all the days I physically could do it, it has become much easier and less painful for me.  I had gotten to the point that I could walk 30 solid minutes about 5 days a week at a leisurely pace without high intensity or lasting discomfort.  It was such a wonderful feeling, and I did it 'because I could!!'  I did have a setback last Monday (Dec 28, 09).  Standing at the refrigerator at work, where I had gone to get another bottle of water, my right knee buckled on me.  And I was standing still for goodness sake!  So, for most of last week, I was back on my cane.  BUT, it seems to be recovering much more quickly than it ever has before, and I may actually get through this setback without having to go in for another injection!  I cannot walk nowfor exercise right now, and I am sure this will slow my weight loss progress down.  But I can do what I can and stay the course with my eating patterns! 

So many things are changing for me now.  It took almost 6 months for me to begin to really have 'WOW' moments but they are finally coming and I am thrilled.  I look at profiles of my peers here at OH.com who started their weight loss journey in the 250 pound range, and can't help but notice how much faster they get noticable results and 'wow' moments.  I am very happy for them and wonder 'what must it be like to actually be able to get to goal within 8 months or a year?'  Well, if I can't have that particular carrot, I really am glad others can! 

Content and marching on toward my ultimate goals!
connie

Well, here I am, on December 23rd, 2 days before my 6 month surgiversary.  I didn't get that 100 pounds in 6 months, but I did get 95!  Even I recognize that's nothing to sneer at!  So, I am pleased. 

Changes since I last posted?  Well, I have remained off the iron supplements.  I finally found a multivitamin I actually like and calcium supplements that are easy to get in.  They both come from Bariatric Advantage.com.  The Multivitamin is the chewable one developed specifically for the RNY patient in orange flavor and the calcium is in cherry flavored lozenges.  I'm taking 4-400mg lozenges per day and they are working well.  Easy to take with me, taste good, and no-muss-no-fuss. 

I quit taking the sennokot/colace/benefiber cocktail I was using daily for constipation and am now using Miralax.  It works good, but did cause a lot of bloating and stomach pain in the beginning.  It also makes the stool soft and very difficult to clean up.  So, I added Benefiber twice a day to my regimine and that helped a lot with clean-up.  And I increased my water intake from 64 ounces/day to around 104 ounces/day.  I did this for 2 reasons.  First, my support group newsletter in November said some research was showing people needed an extra 8 ounces of water (above the recommended 64 ounces/day) for every 25 pounds we are overweight.  Well, I am still at least 125 pounds overweight, so I added an additional 5 glasses of water a day to my schedule.  I felt the miralax needed it too, since it works by pulling fluid into the stool like nature intended.  And finally, finally, the constipation issue is put to bed.  I was terrorified of getting addicted to the senokot and needing ever increasing doses of laxatives. 

My hair has started coming out pretty heavily since my last post, but remember, I was advised by my doc to back off on the protein in November.  I don't know if it would have started falling out heavily anyway or not, but I can't help but blame it on the reduced protein.  And I had a lot of trouble getting 60 grams in every day with food alone after he advised me to lay off the protein shakes.  In fact, I got so tired of trying to choke down 60 grams of protein a day with meat/milk/eggs and cheese that I finally gave it up last week.  It's just too hard, and it's too frustrating at this point.  And I never had room for a single bite of anything but meat/milk/eggs or cheese - so it got really old.  Sooooo......I'm back to drinking 2 protein shakes a day and I eat whatever I want but don't push it.  If I only want green peas for dinner, I eat green peas.  If I want salad, I eat salad.  And I count on the little bits of solid protein I get through the day to equal at least 20 grams of complete protein.  I get the other 40 grams from 2 protein shakes a day.  And I don't care what anyone says, I'm keeping them till I don't think I need them any more.  So there.  Thankfully, even though I am shedding hair like a labrador retriever, it still looks good.  Hopefully, it'll slow down soon. 

Another change I have noticed, is that I can now go to pretty much any restaurant and eat from the menu without a lot of trouble.  I even went with my husband to Jersey Mikes the other day and he got a giant philly cheese steak sub.  They cut those things into 4 pieces, and I comfortably ate 1/2 of one of those sections.  It actually went down really well, did not make me sick, I did not ever feel too full, and it was very satisfying.  In fact, on the rare occassions when I do eat that substantially, I generally find I am not hungry at all till the next day. But interestingly, I have noticed that hunger signals are less since I started taking the Miralax. I have no idea if the two are related or not, but I like it. And it’s another reason I am glad I don’t have to eat meat if I don’t want it. It’s so much easier to get down 6 oz of protein shake than a dry piece of chicken breast if I don’t want to struggle with it. 

  It seems I can eat small amounts of almost anything as long as it isn’t too dry. Salads pose no problem for me. Beef (which has just been introduced at the 6 month mark) doesn’t cause any problems and I find I am absolutely famished for it! Air-popped popcorn, that’s lightly sprayed with buttery spray goes down incredibly easy!  I’ve tolerated the bits of bread, pasta, and rice that I’ve tried in the last month without problems – but mostly, I try to stay away from those carbs. I’ve eaten eggs till I am sick of them, and I just can’t face another egg right now.   

I have yet to buy new clothes. People at work tell me it’s time, but my husband (who sees how much enjoyment I am getting out of wearing baggy clothes) tells me not to listen to them. So, I’ll buy new clothes when I  want new clothes, and not before! Right now I am wearing size 22/24 pants and XXL shirts/sweaters. There is a part of me that doesn’t believe I will be able to buy 18/20 pants or XL tops when I finally do go shopping, so that may be some of the reason I am putting it off.   

Suddenly, in the last few weeks, I notice there are days when I can eat lots more food than I have previously been able to eat. For example, one day last week, our family helped my husbands’ 93 year old aunt move into a retirement complex. I had my protein shake and ½ a banana for breakfast at 7:30am. When lunch came, at around 1pm, I had ordered a ham and cheese sandwich with chips and a pickle spear. To my amazement, I ate the entire sandwich and the pickle spear over about 20 minutes. I kept waiting for my ‘getting full’ signal, but it never came. In fact, I stopped because I knew the volume of food I had consumed was more than my pouch should hold and I didn’t want to stretch the stoma. I was comfortably filled, and did not get hungry again till very late that evening. I have no idea why sometimes I can do that, and other times (though admittedly they are getting fewer and farther between) I really can’t eat much of anything.   

Anyway, things are going well! I am happy with my progress and look greatly forward to the next six months! If I manage to loose another 60 pounds over the next 6 months, then I will be within 60 pounds of my goal. Woo hoo!!   

Thanks for listening, and have a blessed Christmas!
connie 

Well, last Sunday was my 4 month anniversary since surgery and of course, I was in the middle of another one of my 'stalls'.  I know people keep saying I shouldn't focus on what hasn't happened and it will come off and all that, but I keep thinking "Will it?"   I cannot afford to be lulled into a false sense of complacency and waste any time at all. Because I know there is such a defined window of opportunity for the weight to come off.  Even the FNP in my surgeons' office told me "work it as hard as you can now because after 18 months - that's it" meaning no more weight loss.  I had 217 pounds to loose to get to goal.  I researched it intently before I had surgery, and from that research, I expected the weight to come off really very quickly, particularly in the first 9 months.  It slows down in everyone after that.

One lady, trying to reassure me in one of the forums, sent me this link: http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/information/planner+results.php so I could see what weight loss I should be able to expect every month post-op based on my starting weight and the amount of excess weight I want to loose.  Well....there was no consolation there.  That site just confirmed what I already knew but what so many people here try to keep me from saying:  I AM ABOUT 40 POUNDS BEHIND WHERE I SHOULD BE!! I knew it! And yet, to my knowledge, I have done everything I’ve been instructed to do, just as instructed.   

The only thing I have not always been able to do, is walk 30 minutes every day due to arthritis pain. I still get 20-30 minutes of walking in most days, but there are days I just can’t do it. I continue to journal my foods and at 3.5 months I noticed my calorie intake increased by about 200 calories a day just because I was tolerating food better. So, where for the first 3.5 months I was getting (generally speaking) from 600-800 calories a day, now I can get something like 800-1000 calories a day, with most days being around 900 calories (360 of those calories coming from my protein supplement). I had hoped maybe this would actually help my weight loss, because I have met several other “slow-er loosers” who indicated when they were able to get their calories between 1000-1200/day, their weight loss really took off. I’m not quite there yet, and I don’t want to push my pouch capacity, but this little boost to around 900 calories per day intake really hasn’t helped me.    

I continue to get >60 grams of protein in every day (with most days averaging around 115 grams: 69g from the protein supplement and the rest from food). I get 60-80 ounces of water in every day. I continue to stay away from slider foods and carbs (except fruit and starchless veggies). I do not graze (which is something I used to always do) and I keep to my schedule of 3 distinct meals and 3 distinct snacks every day – eating something about every 3-4 hours. I haven’t had any processed sweets since before surgery-with the exception of 3 rasinettes (which did not impress me and I haven’t explored further in that area). I now know where the hidden fats are in foods I eat, so I avoid dumping on fat now and haven’t been troubled with nausea in over a month.  

And yet I still go weeks at a time without loosing an ounce. In fact two weeks ago, I was on an antiviral medication and I gained 2 pounds. It was fluid, but it took me 3 days after the med was done to get rid of those 2 pounds. I finally went to my health tracker and put my weight in for every week since surgery, so I could see the stalls I have had. I haven’t had a single month since surgery without a major stall and October had a string of them.   

I confess yet again, this has been my biggest struggle since having the surgery-hands down. I haven’t had a problem learning to eat tiny amounts of food, because the pouch does a good job of limiting me and yet allowing me to feel full/satisfied. I haven’t had any problem establishing a definite every 3-4 hour eating routine-no grazing. I haven’t missed processed sweets because the surgery makes fruit taste ultra-sweet to me now and my protein supplements are chocolate.   By the grace of God, I had no surgical complications and I can get in my water and eat small amounts of food. But I never expected, in a million years, that I would get to month 4 and not have lost at least 80 pounds (and that was a conservative estimate on my part based on the research I had done). By my 4 month surgiversary, I have lost 70 pounds. I don’t disregard those 70, but my big window of opportunity is ticking away, and I can’t make the weight come off any faster. I have such a fear that my 18 months will be up and I will still weigh over 200 pounds and then proceed to gain back most of what I lost. That is what happened to my sister. I cannot bear the thoughts of going through this life-changing surgery and still not making it to my goal – and stay there. 

And then, on the other hand, I try to calm down and look at my situation more rationally.  So, OK, FINE. I have some kind of super-efficient metabolism. NASA should study people like me. I seem to have the kind of metabolism that even were I placed in a concentration camp for 2 years, I’d still come out a chunky-monkey. And yet, even so, I do not overlook the fact that I did finally get under 300 pounds this month and I have steadily made my way through 2 successively smaller sizes in my closet and the size I am now in is the last I have on hand. Once these guys swallow me whole (which may, at this rate, be next year) at least I will get to start shopping for smaller sizes. I had my husband measure me during the month of October (during one of my three stalls) and I have lost 21 inches. And finally, finally, at around 3 and ½ months, I could tolerate tea again. So, at that point I also switched from the pH neutral calcium crystals I was using to the less expensive calcium citrate (which I crush and drop into my protein supplement...along with my fiber supplement....). I had labs drawn again last week, so I am looking forward to seeing if the cal citrate will boost my calcium level a little. It was on the low normal side last time. 

And I do tell myself, no matter what the FNP says at the surgeons’ office about there being no more weight loss after 18 months, if I continue with my healthy habits, and keep my intake to normal levels past those 18 months – weight will have to continue to come off. It won’t be fast, but I really can’t see how the stored fat can win out over the long haul against healthy habits. So....since my weight loss seems to be slowing down markedly already (I’ve only lost a total of 6 pounds between my 3^rd and 4^th month surgery anniversaries), maybe it will take me 3 years to loose 217 pounds. Even at a slow rate of loosing, I would never have been able to hang in there for 3 years of slow weight loss without this surgery. I would long since have given up already, and gone back to my unhealthy habits even now, if it wasn’t for the surgery. But the surgery, prevents that. Mechanically. The boundaries are very very real and ever-present. 

Sometimes now, I go weeks at a time without feeling overfull because I have gotten really good at sensing where I am with fullness since the surgery. And I start to wonder if the pouch boundaries are still there, because they haven’t made themselves known to me in a while. So, I will test them. Oh yeah....they are there. And I thank God for that blessing. 

So, come on all you slow-er loosers, let’s make this journey together, and wish our pals who are dropping weight like cinderblocks from the sky even greater success. That really has to feel good, and if I can’t experience it, I am glad someone is. I have to believe we can all make it. Just some of us faster than others. I guess the main point is that we do make it. And so, I will try to keep my eye on the prize and stick with my new hard-won healthy habits. 

See ya next month! connie

OK, it's official and it feels great!  As of this morning, I have lost 68 pounds (in 15 weeks for an average of 4.5#'s/wk) and I now weigh 299 pounds!!!!  WHAT an accomplishment!!  I am so excited, and so thankful to my Lord, to my surgeon, to my husband, and my family, and to the OH.com family for all the support they provide!   YIPEE!!!  49 more pounds to my first hundred gone, and then I'll be almost half-way there!  < big sigh>

Tommorrow will be my 3 month surgery anniversary.  To date, I have lost 62 pounds.  An average of 20 pounds lost per month.  I can't complain about that!  I still struggle with not understanding why I don't loose something every week, but I don't and I haven't since the beginning.  But now, being this far out and seeing the average wt loss/month, I can handle it much better. 

In the beginning, I was looking at needing to loose 217 pounds to get to 155 which is my goal.  That seemed overwhelming and worse, my doc clearly indicated he did not expect me to make it all the way since I have so much to loose.  I think he said he expected me to loose around 70% of my excess weight ???  Can't remember exactly, but I remember being shocked that he did not think I would get to goal.  So, now at 3 months out, it's very encouraging to see my ticker say "155 pounds to go!" instead of "217 pounds to go!"!!  It just sounds so much more reachable!

I am having much less nausea these days and I really don't know if it's because I tolerate things better or if I finally figured out what I could not eat and have stayed away from those things?  I do know that most days I fixate much less on what I will eat now than I did in the beginning. And in spite of what my nurtitionist said at my last visit, I bumped my protein shakes back up to 3 a day instead of just 2.  It seems I have finally found my rhythm with eating, and it works nicely for me until I allow my head to get in the way.

So here's how a food day goes for me when I am "eating to live" instead of "living to eat" - which I am desperately trying to learn to do for the rest of my life. 
Breakfast: Protein shake (23 g protein / 123 calories)
Mid-morning snack: Protein shake (23 g protein / 123 calories)
Lunch: 1 package (3oz) of StarKist Tuna Salad (13 g protein / 100 calories)
Mid-Afternoon Snack: Protein shake (23 g protein / 123 calories)
Dinner: Usually 3-4 ounces (volume, not weight) smoked, baked, or broiled fish, shrimp, or chicken - can't handle veggies with it.
Evening snack: 1/2 cup sugar free peaches, or pears sprinkled with shredded cheddar cheese OR 2 Triscuit crackers with a 1/2 slice of 2% American Sliced Cheese OR 1 cup of skim milk OR very occassionally, a cup of fat free popcorn. 

It varies from about 700-800 calories a day.  And most days, I find are good days.  If my head is messing with me, it will complain that I have had Tuna every day for a week for lunch and I need something else.  But the truth is, the prepackaged tuna salad always provides valuable protein as well as fish oils to help me improve my heart health, it always sits well on my pouch, it's never too much volume, and it always leaves me feeling very satisfied until around 4pm.  Occassionally I will add a little fat free mayo to it or have it on 4 saltines, but mostly I am trying to stay away from white carbs completely.  I find they seem to really slow down my weight loss even at the calorie intake I am at. 

The other way my head messes with me is to give me the munchies in the evenings.  It doesn't happen a lot any more, but some evenings I just want to keep going back to the pantry or the fridge.  Mostly, I find keeping to my water schedule helps with that.  My water intake goal is 64 ounces a day.  I dissolve calcium crystals in the first and last 16 ounce bottles every day and use crystal light to flavor the others if I need it.  So I drink one when I get up in the morning and walk.  I drink it while I am walking.  It seems to kind of get my pouch ready for intake for the day - it can be a little irritable in the mornings.  Then, I try to consume 16 ounces from breakfast to lunch, from lunch to dinner, and from dinner to bedtime.  This helps me to keep something at hand if I need that hand to mouth action.  And it helps that I really love some of the flavors for the water. 

I still cannot tolerate tea - which is a bummer because I love it so, but it hurts my stomach.  But mostly, I'm satisfied and cruising.  I do not push what my pouch can hold, because I want to keep it as small as possible.  Some of the ladies at the support group fuss at me for using my protein shakes so heavily.  They are emphatic that I have to "learn to eat again!"  But I notice most of them never made it to goal, so I am listening to their advice about things like this with a grain of salt.  I figure, once I make it to my goal, I'll have the rest of my life to "learn to eat again".  I mean, it's not like I am not eating now.  I'm just relying heavily on the protein supplements. 

So, it's going well!  See ya next month!  connie

Tomorrow will be my 2 month anniversary since surgery and it's been interesting in so many ways.  At long last, I seem to be loosing weight pretty steadily - somewhere around 3-4 lbs/week.  I'm afraid to be too happy about that though, because I keep expecting it to come to a standstill again for a couple of weeks like it did earlier.  That nearly killed me.  As of this morning, I am down to 320, which is a loss of 47 pounds since starting the liquid diet, and 33 pounds since surgery.  I am right at the door of my first major goal: a loss of 50 pounds!  Hope to see that next week.   

I still have trouble walking every day and sometimes I just cannot do 30 minutes.  I walk as much as 20 minutes most days, but the arthritis in my knees and hips remains a huge deterent.  But, I do get up at 5am through the week now, so that if I can  manage to walk, I have time to do 30 minutes, wash my hair, get dressed, and fix myself an egg.  I need 2 freaking hours to do all that before I go to work in the mornings.  That's a bummer.

I have not experienced that burst of energy so many people talk about related to the surgery and am doubting now that I every will.  I have much less nausea now than before, and am convinced it's all about how much I am chewing, how fast I am eating, and/or how many ounces of water I have dissolved my protein supplement in.  I pretty much use no less than 4oz of water to mix my shakes in now, and I haven't been made nauseous by them in over a week.  What a relief!  It's really really hard to take 20 minutes to eat one egg.  It gets totally cold before I'm done, but it takes that to keep from being nauseated by it.  

My hair still looks good, but then I haven't hit the 3 month mark yet.  I am finding a strand or two in my hands when I wash my hair - which is new for me - but they say when it starts, it comes out in globs.  I really hope I won't have that problem because my hair is thin anyway.  My program coordinator tells me it generally falls out between the 3rd and 6th month.  This is a huge reason for my diligence with the protein shakes.  It's also the reason I take 5mg of Bioten/day and have since about 2 weeks prior to surgery.  My program coordinator also tells me, people seem to loose the most weight between the 6th and 9th month.  I don't understand it - but hey, as long as I loose it, I'll be a happy camper. 

Eating is such a mystery too.  Even now, it feels strange to find that just a few bites over a period of 20 minutes is sometimes more than enough.  Saturday, I fixed myself about 4 ounces of baked fish.  Nothing else, because the first rule of the program is "Protein First" and 4 ounces of anything is all I can manage.   I think I must have cooked it a minute too long and it got a little more dry than I can tolerate.  (I have to have very moist food or I cannot handle it!)  I ate it and thought it was doing ok, until the last bite.  I had not had any indication that I was getting overfull, but after swallowing that last bite I started hurting.  No nausea, just pain in the epigastric region.  I could feel my pouch churning, started belching, and my mouth started filling with a thick clear mucous drainage.  I tried to swallow, but it wouldn't go down, so I started spitting it out.  I tried to vomit, but could get nothing up.  I struggled that way for 2 hours.  Finally, it settled down and I just had to lie down and sleep for another 2 hours.  I was totally exausted. 

Sunday, I fixed lunch for my family.  I fixed a giant pizza and some lowfat turkey smoked sausage (bratworst style) sliced and cooked with peppers and onions.  2 ounces of the turkey sausage had 6 g of fat.  I added about a tablespoon of canola oil to the pan to start it.  I ate 5 round slices of the sausage (less than 2 ounces)and about 3 bites of the peppers and onions.  And it made me sick.  Not seriously nauseated, but queasy enough I had to go lie down.  It's such a "who knows" game. 

There are 4 things I never seem to have any problem with:  skim milk, fruit, lowfat cheese, and airpopped popcorn.  I don't get much fruit because it's "protein first" and I am only supposed to eat 3 meals and 2 snacks a day.  My 2 snacks are the protein shakes.  I try to have 1 egg and 1/4 slice of lowfat cheese for breakfast, then some kind of meat for lunch and dinner.  Sometimes I will have fruit before bedtime.  And oh my gosh it tastes like heaven!  The rare cup of popcorn and the occassional pretzel are pretty much the only carbs I am eating.  When I finally get to my third month, I am supposed to be able to eat raw veggies.  I have been craving salad since the liquid diet.  I just hope I will be able to eat it. 

Oh well, it's an interesting time in my life.  I really hope I can say I have lost 60 pounds when I get to month marker # 3.  And I'm pulling for 120 pounds at 6 months.  But I know now that may be asking a lot from my body.  It doesn't seem to care that so many others loose 120 pounds in 6 months.  And for that reason, I am working really hard to try to stay off the scales every day.  I'm trying to wean my focus from the scales to the plethora of wonderful things that are happening to my body as the weight comes down.  Things like: I'm wearing a size less in clothes.  I'm wearing clothes I haven't worn in over 8 years!  The other day one person at work who hadn't seen me in a while said "girl, you are loosing weight!  How are you doing it??"  And another one said he did not recognize me at first glance when he saw me!  My blood pressure is normal, I am able to walk at least some now!  I can stand at my sink long enough to do the dishes.  I can stay on my feet long enough to get groceries or go browsing in wal-mart.  It's no longer agony to stand in the shower and bathe now for 20 minutes.  And hey!  I can even reach all the parts of my body easily!  It's been so long since I could do that!  For most people, these are things they take for granted.  For me, these are things the fat robbed me of and I am slowly reclaiming!  So, my goal is to weigh monthly; however, I notice I only made it a week this time!  Even that is progress!! 

I'll check in again next month!  Take care everyone!!  connie

OK, when I think rationally about all this, I realize that to have lost 33 pounds in 40 days (from the start of my liquid diet to last Friday: July 24th) is pretty amazing by any standards....but mercy.....I go entire weeks at a time without the scale budging downward and I still have an annoying tendancy to pick up fluid and put on from 2-3 pounds here and there.  And when I do that, I hold onto it for several days.  Sheesh.  I've read so much about people saying how fast it goes, till I think my expectations were way out of line.  

I guess my age (50) is playing a factor in this.  And the arthritis.  I can walk now, for 20 minutes or so every other day.   But to try to walk every day kills my knees even yet.  I really think the weight would come off at a more steady pace if I could walk for 30 minutes every day.  Maybe, when I've gotten rid of 50 or 60 pounds, I will be able to do that.  I really hope so because I want to make the most of my window of opportunity.  I have 200 pounds to loose and my doc doesn't seem to think I will attain that.  I've got to show him I can!! 

I am still having a problem with nausea.  I often get nauseated by the protein shakes, but I have learned I can tone down the sweetness by adding a few more ounces of water.  So, mostly, I mix them in 4-5 ounces now.  I can get that in within the 30 minute window.  And I have also found that nibbling on a saltine cracker when I do get nauseated helps sometimes.  Some days, it just doesn't seem to matter what I eat (and I am only eating what I am allowed to have), it isn't going to sit well.  And other days, it doesn't seem to matter what I eat, it's going to be fine.  There's no rhyme or reason to it that I can find.  Generally, the nausea only lasts 30 minutes to an hour after I eat, and is greatly relieved by lying down.  But now that I am back at work, I can't do that.  So, sometimes it's pretty miserable.  

The good news is: This too shall pass.   After all, everything does sooner or later!  So I am looking forward to better days ahead!  Days when I can walk effortlessly wherever I want to go...like maybe the park, or the mall, and shop for clothes in any store that takes my fancy.  Days when I can take a regular sized folding chair to the park and sit comfortably while enjoying the music on a summer day and not die from the heat.  Days when I don't have to only go to the theater with the chair arms that raise up, because I can now fit into the regular seats!  Days when I no longer have to take any blood pressure medicine at all (I've already been able to stop one pill and am on half a dose of the other)!   *sigh*  I've got a lot to look forward to now!!  I am very thankful. 

And for anyone who is planning this journey, or who is going through it with me, I wish for better days ahead for you too.  Life is just too short to spent it taken prisoner by weight.  Blessings to you!!  connie

On June 15th, I started my liquid diet.  As of today: July 15th, I have lost 29 pounds!!  It's a milestone!  It's 15% of my excess body weight gone in 1 month!  Thank you Lord!!!  connie

Well, for the past week, I've been upgraded to the 'soft diet'.  I can now have chicken, turkey, and fish as well as soft vegetables.  It's been a huge relief.  I haven't had another occassion where I took that awful 'one bite too many'.  Still, I think I may not be chewing enough because frequently, after eating, I have some lowgrade nausea.  Haven't had to loose anything, it's just enough to make you want to lie down.  A friend of mine, who had the surgery 2 years ago, says she still has frequent nausea after eating.  She says the thing that has helped her the most is sugar free mints, like the little tictacs.  The mint flavor settles her stomach.  So, I'll be purchasing some tomorrow. 

For me, this chewing business (you know: chew to a liquid consistency before swallowing) requires a lot of concentration to get right.  I never realized I was swallowing most of my food relatively whole before the surgery but I must have been.  I really can't participate in a conversation or watch TV if I am trying to chew or before I even realize it: I've swallowed.  I have to think about every bite.  And of course, I want to do it right, because I don't want my pouch opening to become occluded, and I certainly want my body to be able to absorb every available nutrient from the little bits I do eat. 

Although I am afraid to try bread, I have found that a few croutons (low fat) or pretzles go down really nicely and satisfy my bread craving.  They actually go down as well as cheeses.  I've backed off on the cheeses some, because I so desperately wanted some veggies...and well, can't manage both!  I am still getting my protein from the Champion Pure Whey Stack protein shakes and although on this side  of surgery, 3 of the flavors are way too sweet and make me nauseous, I still use them because it gets all the essential amino acid chains in me to the tune of more than 60g protein per day for less than $2 per day.  The flavors really fascinate me.  Before surgery, when I tried them, I added a packet of nutrasweet to them for what was then, really excellent flavor.  Now, I wish they were much less sweet.  In fact, I wish they just tasted like milk.  Thankfully, the vanilla (to which I add a dash of cinnamon) and the plain chocolate are not so sweet, and they still taste pretty good to me.  But I purchased enough protein powder to get me through the first 4 months, so I still have a total of about 9 pounds of cookies and cream, chocolate peanut butter, and banana scream to go through and then I will never purchase them again.  But I will  stay with the Champion chocolate and vanilla, because it's high quality protein at a reasonable price that dissolves into a nice creamy mixture in only 2-3 ounces of water.  For protein health, I can handle that 3 times a day. 

Well gotta go!  connie