4 Months Since Surgery

Oct 29, 2009

Well, last Sunday was my 4 month anniversary since surgery and of course, I was in the middle of another one of my 'stalls'.  I know people keep saying I shouldn't focus on what hasn't happened and it will come off and all that, but I keep thinking "Will it?"   I cannot afford to be lulled into a false sense of complacency and waste any time at all. Because I know there is such a defined window of opportunity for the weight to come off.  Even the FNP in my surgeons' office told me "work it as hard as you can now because after 18 months - that's it" meaning no more weight loss.  I had 217 pounds to loose to get to goal.  I researched it intently before I had surgery, and from that research, I expected the weight to come off really very quickly, particularly in the first 9 months.  It slows down in everyone after that.

One lady, trying to reassure me in one of the forums, sent me this link: http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/information/planner+results.php so I could see what weight loss I should be able to expect every month post-op based on my starting weight and the amount of excess weight I want to loose.  Well....there was no consolation there.  That site just confirmed what I already knew but what so many people here try to keep me from saying:  I AM ABOUT 40 POUNDS BEHIND WHERE I SHOULD BE!! I knew it! And yet, to my knowledge, I have done everything I’ve been instructed to do, just as instructed.   

The only thing I have not always been able to do, is walk 30 minutes every day due to arthritis pain. I still get 20-30 minutes of walking in most days, but there are days I just can’t do it. I continue to journal my foods and at 3.5 months I noticed my calorie intake increased by about 200 calories a day just because I was tolerating food better. So, where for the first 3.5 months I was getting (generally speaking) from 600-800 calories a day, now I can get something like 800-1000 calories a day, with most days being around 900 calories (360 of those calories coming from my protein supplement). I had hoped maybe this would actually help my weight loss, because I have met several other “slow-er loosers” who indicated when they were able to get their calories between 1000-1200/day, their weight loss really took off. I’m not quite there yet, and I don’t want to push my pouch capacity, but this little boost to around 900 calories per day intake really hasn’t helped me.    

I continue to get >60 grams of protein in every day (with most days averaging around 115 grams: 69g from the protein supplement and the rest from food). I get 60-80 ounces of water in every day. I continue to stay away from slider foods and carbs (except fruit and starchless veggies). I do not graze (which is something I used to always do) and I keep to my schedule of 3 distinct meals and 3 distinct snacks every day – eating something about every 3-4 hours. I haven’t had any processed sweets since before surgery-with the exception of 3 rasinettes (which did not impress me and I haven’t explored further in that area). I now know where the hidden fats are in foods I eat, so I avoid dumping on fat now and haven’t been troubled with nausea in over a month.  

And yet I still go weeks at a time without loosing an ounce. In fact two weeks ago, I was on an antiviral medication and I gained 2 pounds. It was fluid, but it took me 3 days after the med was done to get rid of those 2 pounds. I finally went to my health tracker and put my weight in for every week since surgery, so I could see the stalls I have had. I haven’t had a single month since surgery without a major stall and October had a string of them.   

I confess yet again, this has been my biggest struggle since having the surgery-hands down. I haven’t had a problem learning to eat tiny amounts of food, because the pouch does a good job of limiting me and yet allowing me to feel full/satisfied. I haven’t had any problem establishing a definite every 3-4 hour eating routine-no grazing. I haven’t missed processed sweets because the surgery makes fruit taste ultra-sweet to me now and my protein supplements are chocolate.   By the grace of God, I had no surgical complications and I can get in my water and eat small amounts of food. But I never expected, in a million years, that I would get to month 4 and not have lost at least 80 pounds (and that was a conservative estimate on my part based on the research I had done). By my 4 month surgiversary, I have lost 70 pounds. I don’t disregard those 70, but my big window of opportunity is ticking away, and I can’t make the weight come off any faster. I have such a fear that my 18 months will be up and I will still weigh over 200 pounds and then proceed to gain back most of what I lost. That is what happened to my sister. I cannot bear the thoughts of going through this life-changing surgery and still not making it to my goal – and stay there. 

And then, on the other hand, I try to calm down and look at my situation more rationally.  So, OK, FINE. I have some kind of super-efficient metabolism. NASA should study people like me. I seem to have the kind of metabolism that even were I placed in a concentration camp for 2 years, I’d still come out a chunky-monkey. And yet, even so, I do not overlook the fact that I did finally get under 300 pounds this month and I have steadily made my way through 2 successively smaller sizes in my closet and the size I am now in is the last I have on hand. Once these guys swallow me whole (which may, at this rate, be next year) at least I will get to start shopping for smaller sizes. I had my husband measure me during the month of October (during one of my three stalls) and I have lost 21 inches. And finally, finally, at around 3 and ½ months, I could tolerate tea again. So, at that point I also switched from the pH neutral calcium crystals I was using to the less expensive calcium citrate (which I crush and drop into my protein supplement...along with my fiber supplement....). I had labs drawn again last week, so I am looking forward to seeing if the cal citrate will boost my calcium level a little. It was on the low normal side last time. 

And I do tell myself, no matter what the FNP says at the surgeons’ office about there being no more weight loss after 18 months, if I continue with my healthy habits, and keep my intake to normal levels past those 18 months – weight will have to continue to come off. It won’t be fast, but I really can’t see how the stored fat can win out over the long haul against healthy habits. So....since my weight loss seems to be slowing down markedly already (I’ve only lost a total of 6 pounds between my 3^rd and 4^th month surgery anniversaries), maybe it will take me 3 years to loose 217 pounds. Even at a slow rate of loosing, I would never have been able to hang in there for 3 years of slow weight loss without this surgery. I would long since have given up already, and gone back to my unhealthy habits even now, if it wasn’t for the surgery. But the surgery, prevents that. Mechanically. The boundaries are very very real and ever-present. 

Sometimes now, I go weeks at a time without feeling overfull because I have gotten really good at sensing where I am with fullness since the surgery. And I start to wonder if the pouch boundaries are still there, because they haven’t made themselves known to me in a while. So, I will test them. Oh yeah....they are there. And I thank God for that blessing. 

So, come on all you slow-er loosers, let’s make this journey together, and wish our pals who are dropping weight like cinderblocks from the sky even greater success. That really has to feel good, and if I can’t experience it, I am glad someone is. I have to believe we can all make it. Just some of us faster than others. I guess the main point is that we do make it. And so, I will try to keep my eye on the prize and stick with my new hard-won healthy habits. 

See ya next month! connie

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