CrystalH

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I promised myself that I would count down and write everything that I felt so I can get things off my chest...Well I am dealing with alot of things from my past so that I know there is no emotional subconsious emotional eatting. I have been through alot in my short life and things needed to be taken care of before I start again with me..I have covered alot of emotion and things. People are very upset with me right now. But they hurt me and I need to let it go. SO I am making everything right before ME comes back...I know it sounds weird. But anyone that is going through this will no what I mean by a FRESH START. But count down getting closer and I can't wait for this transformation. Reborn to what I need to be healthy and full of life..

Everything feels so real now.. I made it through pre-op testing and It is a go for surgery...WOOOHOOOOO I am so excited now I feel like my life is starting again....I guess somewhere in the mix of things I did not realize that I lost ME>....Well here I come...wooohoooooooo

I am getting more relaxed, now I am trying to make sure everything has been taken care of...robe, slippers, vitamins, protein shakes and drinks purchased. I am just so thankful for everyones support.....HUGGGGSSSSSS...YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE>>>>.....

I am just thinking about what things will be like after this change...I am excited and nervous,,I know that I will be a new person on the outside but the inside will never change...Some people don't understand how living in this body has made me feel. I told one person it is like I have had a bugger hanging out of my nose and no one will tell me they just look at me weird...But anyone that has walked in my shoes can understand what I am talking about...The looks people that don't know you give you....But people that love you don't really see how large you are....I am excited my children will finally get to know the person who is trapped inside.....I went today and got my Bugs Bunny vitamins...and I am checking into more protein drinks.....Wish me luck...WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I am just sitting here today trying to plan everything out...I now know that I need Bugs Bunny Sugar free vitamins.. 19 more days and I am going to be a different person...WOOOOHOOOOO

I am such a pest...Insurance approved after 2 days.. I called everyday....It worked though...I find out today when surgery is..I found myself crying now...Is that weird or what..I guess it is because It is a relief. My struggle is now beginning again. But I guess having all my friends and a special ANGEL behind me, I know that it will be ok NOw...I am so ready for the fight//But this time I will WIN? or should I say LOSE>>>>>LMAO//

I am impatient....Can't wait for surgery.....I want to be reborn......