Connie C.

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As I sit here, I can't believe it will be three years since my RNY surgery on April 7th! For the past year or so, I've been working to prevent regain. I don't want to be one of the statistics. So far, so good. Although I never got below 185 pounds (okay, for one glorious day I got down to 183!), I've been able to maintain between 185 and 190. The sad part is, that is still "obese" for 5'1". But you know what? I don't see it that way. I weighed 366 pounds at my heaviest. I'm almost half the woman I used to be! My life is 110% better than it was preop. I can walk up and down stairs without feeling like I'm going to die. I don't have to worry when going to a new restaurant that they may only have booths and I won't fit in. I can fit in the seats at the movie theater and on airplanes. I took a vacation to Italy - something I NEVER would have attempted at 366 pounds. Life is good.

Has it all be sunshine and roses? Of course not. I've had my share of post-gastric bypass issues - dumping syndrome, eating too fast and getting something stuck, a couple of episodes of reactive hypoglycemia, figuring out I can't eat peapods anymore (why it took TWO episodes is beyond me!). Since my RNY surgery I've had to have a hernia repair and this past November I had a bowel obstruction caused by adhesions that required 4 days in the hospital on IV's and subsequent surgery to remove the adhesions. I now have a pannus the size of a deflated truck tire that my insurance company won't pay to have removed because my BMI isn't within the normal range for my height. But, you know what? I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

If you are reading this as a preop, think long and hard and be sure you are ready for the job ahead. It isn't easy, but it is worth it. You can't go into it thinking you'll just get your guts rearranged, then continue with life as normal. Life will never be the same again. I used to be able to eat a whole pizza, now I can only eat one piece. Do I still WANT the other pieces? Yes, I do. The difference is, I know if I eat them (even ONE of them), I'll get sick. Does that knowledge always stop me from trying? Again, of course not. I'm human and I used to be an eating machine. Having the surgery did nothing for my head. That's all on me. I've tried eating a second piece a couple of times. I haven't done it in awhile. I'm learning, even now, three years later.

I highly recommend that preops spend lots of time reading posts on OH. I spent hours doing so before surgery. That way you'll know as much as you can about what to expect - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Go in with your eyes wide open and be ready for one heck of a ride. As I said, life will never be the same

April 9, 2010

Wow! I can't believe it's been two years since my surgery. Two years and two days to be precise! On April 7, 2008 my life changed. Yes, there have been ups and downs, but I wouldn't change my choice for the world. I wrote a reflection at 1 1/2 years out and thought another one was due.

My highest pre-surgery weight was 366 pounds at 5'2" tall - super morbidly obese. I was a bit lower than that when I began the WLS journey, as I had lost about 80 pounds on my own and was well on my way to gaining back the 80 pounds I had lost and probably 40 or so pounds more, since that was my normal method of operation. It was that final failed attempt at weight loss that was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was my last, "Okay, you can do this without surgery. You just have to have will power!" bit of insanity. As the pound crept back on yet again, I finally gave in an attended a WLS seminar. Fast-forward 7 months (see my previous post at 1 1/2 years out in my blog for the gory details of that stretch) and I was heading into surgery, scared but determined.

Since April 2008, I've lost around 180 pounds. There was one glorious day when the scale hit 183 pounds and I went to work and proclaimed that I was now half the woman I used to be. Since then, for the last 6 months or so, the scale has hung between 185 and 190 pounds. Still obese for 5'2" tall, but much improved from where I started. Would I like to get down further? Sure - who wouldn't? Is my life 100% better even if I never lose another ounce? You bet! I'll take it.

I have to admit, the battle is harder now. I read posts from people 2 or more years out who are regaining and I get scared. I like my life so much better now that I'm actually able to participate in it, and I don't want to go back. I like buying clothing in "normal" stores instead of Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug Plus, and from catalogs. I like walking into public places and not feeling like people are thinking, "Wow! Look how FAT she is!" I like that I can fit in restaurant booths and movie theater seats. I LOVE that I was able to fit in one seat on an airplane and fly to Italy last summer - and then was able to walk easily all over Rome, Venice and Florence. (Yes, I threw three coins over my shoulder into the Trevie Fountain!)

How am I keeping up the good fight? While I do allow myself to ocasionally eat things that are really not WLS friendly, I am careful about simple carbs. I NEVER eat pasta or rice, and I only eat potatoes in any form very rarely. I eat very little bread, and what bread I do eat is almost always some type of flat bread. The only cereal I allow myself is Special K Protein Plus (I figure if I'm going to indulge in cereal, it has to have protein in it). I also eat homemade oatmeal made with milk to up the protein content. Frankly, I got sick of eggs every morning.  One weakness I have developed is eating a few too many Ritz crackers. I'm working on weaning myself off of them. I do have one fast rule I NEVER break. Any morning the scale says 190 pounds, I eat strictly by the rules my NUT gave me when I began this journey. I focus on my protein goal and add a few veggies if I'm still hungry. Other than that, no carbs until the scale falls back below 190. Not even one teeny, tiny Ritz cracker crumb! I may never be skinny, but I'm determined to never weigh over 190 pounds again. Wish me luck!

Health wise, I'm doing well since surgery. I was able to go off my blood pressure medication early on. I take my supplements faithfully every day and my labs have been good so far. I do dump if I eat too much sugar (usually anything over 12 grams in a serving), but that's not unusual and I'm actually glad I do - it keeps me away from too much sugar. I don't have any trouble with my bowels as long as I take two Benefiber and 1 prune daily. So, overall, things are going well.

Now comes the moment of truth. Exercise. I have to be honest and admit that I don't do it. Probably if I did I could get some more weight off, but to be honest, I'll trade the extra poundage for not having to sweat! Overall I'm much more active than I was pre-surgery, but I don't do formal exercise. I know! I know! It was part of the package when I got my presurgery "training," but I've never been a physically active girl and I think it's unlikely I'll start at 50 years old.

I have an appointment with a plastic surgeon on April 19th to look into the cost of abdominoplasty. I have a huge panniculum that needs to go away. I'm tired of lugging it around with me. While I do have insurance, in Maine they will only cover abdominoplasty if you meet three criteria. I meet one (the pannus must hang below the pubic bone - hello! It almost hangs to my knees!). I COULD meet the second if I HAD to (recurrent skin ulcers that do not respond to more conservative treatments for three months - but who wants to let themselves go if they can prevent it, and who wants to lie to their PCP about the effectiveness of treatments?). The third, I don't think I can meet (if the pannus is a result of significant weight loss, the patient must have obtained a BMI of less than 30 - anyone know where I can buy one of those? I'm currently about 34 and figure I'd have to get down to about 155 pounds to get below 30 - ain't happenin'). Soooooo . . . here's hoping I can afford the surgery on my own.

I guess that's all for this update. Onward and downward (I hope!)!! For anyone considering WLS and reading this post, I wish you the best of luck. I can only speak for myself, but it was the best decision I ever made. The best gift I ever gave myself.

Balsamic Chicken and Vegetables

1/4 cup bottled Italian salad dressing (you can use low fat)
2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar
1 Tbsp. honey (if you dump easily, you might want to use the SF honey - I've seen it in the supermarket)
1/8 tsp. crushed red pepper
2 Tbsp. olive oil
12 oz. chicken breast tenderloins, cut into bite-sized pieces
10 oz. asparagus, cut into 2-inch pieces (I used broccoli instead - my pouch doesn't like asparagus)
1 cup shredded carrot
1 small tomato, seeded and chopped

For sauce, in a small bowl stir together salad dressing, vinegar, honey, and crushed red pepper. Set aside.

In a large skillet heat oil. Add chicken; cook over medium-high heat for 5 to 6 minutes or until chicken is tender and no longer pink. Transfer chicken from skillet to a serving platter; cover and keep warm.

Add asparagus (or broccoli) and carrot to skillet. Cook and stir for 3 to 4 minutes (a bit longer for broccoli) or until asparagus is tender-crisp; transfer to serving platter.

Stir sauce; add to skillet. Cook and stir for 1 minute, scraping up brown bits. Add chicken and veggies to sauce and stir. Remove to serving platter and sprinkle with chopped tomato.

 
 

Here are a couple of recipes I tried recently that were particularly delish! I can't seem to get over my trip to Italy this past July, so anything vaguely Mediterranean is a "must try" for  me. I hope anyone reading this will enjoy these.

Chicken with Olives  

2 Tbsp. olive oil
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (I actually cut mine in bite-size pieces)
1 med. Onion, sliced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 15oz. can crushed tomatoes
1 5.75oz. jar sliced pitted green olives, drained
1 2.25oz. can sliced pitted ripe olives, drained
2 Tbsp. capers, drained
2 Tbsp. finely shredded lemon peel
1 tsp. dried oregano, crushed
salt
ground black pepper
3 Tbsp. fresh Italian parsley leaves (flat leaf)  

In a large skillet heat oil over medium-high heat. Cook chicken in hot oil 5 minutes or until brown, turning once. Remove chicken from skillet; set aside. Add onion to skillet and cook over medium heat about 8 minutes or until tender, stirring occasionally. Add garlic and cook 1 minute more. Stir in tomatoes, olives, capers, lemon peel, and oregano. Place chicken on tomato mixture. Bring to boiling; reduce heat. Simmer, covered 13 to 15 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink. To serve, place chicken on platter. Season tomato mixture to taste with salt and pepper. Spoon tomato mixture over chicken. Sprinkle with parsley. Makes 4 servings (for normal people – more for WLS postops).   Each serving(based on 4 servings): 340 calories, 16 g total fat, 82 mg chol., 1,311 mg sodium, 13 g carb., 35 g protein


Mediterranean Chicken

1 6oz. jar marinated artichoke hearts
1 Tbsp. olive oil
12 oz. skinless, boneless chicken breast, cut into bite-size pieces
3 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1/2 cup chicken broth
1 tsp. dried oregano, crushed
1 c. roasted sweet red peppers, drained and cut into strips
1/4 c. pitted kalamata olives
1/4 c. crumbled feta cheese (optional)
fresh basil leaves (optional)

Drain artichoke hearts, reserving marinade. Cut any large pieces. Set aside. In a large skillet heat oil over medium-high heat. Add chicken and garlic. Cook and stir until chicken is brown. Add the reserved artichoke marinade, broth, and oregano.
Bring to boiling; reduce heat. Simmer, covered for 10 minutes. Stir in artichokes, roasted sweet peppers, and olives. Heat through.
Serve sprinked with feta cheese and fresh basil leaves.

Serves 4 (normal serving sizes)
26g protein / serving

Now that I'm 1 year 7 months out, I've done a lot of reflecting. I posted a long reflection on the journey itself a month or so ago (it's also on my OH page). Lately, I've found myself wondering when the thinner me will begin to feel like my new "normal." When will I look in the mirror and not be surprised by the person looking back at me? When will I not take clothing in the (new) right size, and the next two sizes up (just in case) into the fitting room? When will I enter a public place and not fear that I won't fit into the chairs? When will I actually dare to try to sit in a booth at a restaurant?
     For 19 months now, almost every thought I've had has been prefaced by "since I had surgery." Don't get me wrong - I don't mind these thoughts. The surgery was worth every hoop I had to jump through for approval, every chewable multivitamin I've had to swallow, every piece of candy I've had to pass up - and every thought of "since I had surgery" that I've thought. I was just starting to wonder if that would be something I would do for the rest of my life.
     Last week something happened that made it very clear that I have entered the realm of the new "normal." I came home from work and my mother couldn't wait to tell me something that had happened that day. She had decided to watch a video of her partner's 65th birthday party from about 12 years ago. She didn't recognize someone in the video and had to ask her partner, "Who is that big woman?"  I guess when your own mother doesn't recognize the old you, the new you is your new normal! Is there a restaurant booth around here I can try?

Connie

I have a half hour drive to and from work each day, and I usually use that time for thinking about what my day ahead holds and destressing from what my day actually held. Today I found myself reflecting on my WLS journey. Although I'm 1 year 7 months out from the RNY surgery itself (as of November 7th), I'm actually 2 years 2 months from the beginning of my journey. That is when I attended the mandatory seminar put on by my surgeon's office. Since then it's been one heck of a ride!
     After jumping through all the hoops required by my surgeon and my insurance company, I had my RNY on April 7, 2008. I went into surgery scared I wouldn't come out alive, afraid I was making the biggest mistake of life, with my mother sitting beside me fearing the exact same things. The fact that I'm sitting here typing this is proof that at least one of those fears did not come true (I made it out alive!). The best news of all is that the other fear didn't come true, either. Not only was this NOT the biggest mistake of my life, it was the BEST decision of my life (so far).
     Is life perfect? Sillly question. Nothing's perfect. I have my ups and downs like everyone else. I have days I'm the model post-op bypass surgery eater, and days like I had this past weekend, where it seems I never had the surgery at all and couldn't care less about eating according to the rules. Fortunately, more days are like the former than the latter.
     I am currently down about 180 pounds (depending on the day) from my highest pre-RNY weight of 366 pounds. This is not  what I weighed on the day of surgery, however, so my surgeon doesn't recognize the total weight loss. I, however, know without reservation that without WLS I would currently weigh at LEAST 366 pounds and most likely more. I had lost about 80 pounds on my own in another futile attempt to lose the weight the "right way" before I gave up and made the decision to investigate WLS. When I attended my mandatory seminar I had gained back about 40 of the 80 pounds I had lost. The same old cycle was repeating itself. Prior weight-loss experiences told me I was well on my way to 400 pounds after this loss. I always gained back about twice what I had lost. So, yes, I count every pound I'm down from 366 as being due to my WLS.
     I think I've done well. Do I follow all the rules? (See the question about being perfect above!) Heck, no. Do I try to follow the rules as best I can? Yes. My first thought when I consider eating anything is, "Does this have protein?" If it doesn't, I may still eat it, but I try to make my daily eating balanced according to what my NUT says I should eat. I don't do protein shakes - couldn't ever stand the taste, no matter how many different types I tried. When I was immediately post-op and HAD to have supplements, I gagged down the Isopure clear drinks in the bottles. As soon as I could get in enough food to meet my protein goals, I abandoned the supplements (with my NUT's blessings). Do I meet my protein goals every day? Probably not, but I'm sure I come close most days.
     A big part of my self-reflection today was about the snacking that is creeping back into my lifestyle. Why, given all I've been through, given what I know about my eating habits and the need to make permanent changes to make my weight loss permanent, do I still fall prey to the snacking urge? After dinner is still a difficult time for me. I don't snack on sweets, because I do dump (thank you, WLS God!), but I snack on nuts, trailmix, crackers, ricotta fluff, cheese - to name a few. Even though some of these can be healthy and do contain protein, too much is still too much. Crackers have been a real problem lately. I'm craving the carbs and the carbs don't do me well. Whenever I eat too many carbs, the weight immediately begins to crawl back on. Granted, it's only a couple of pounds and then I usually lose it again, but it scares me. I need to lick the carb-monster once and for all. As Eggface says in her blog, you can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results. It's the definition of insanity!
     As I was preparing for my surgery, I spent many nights on OH reading every post I could to find answers and inspiration. I promised myself I would continue to share my journey to help anyone else looking for the same. I hope some of this rambling is helpful to others on the same journey. Onward we march - one day at a time!

I can't believe it's been almost 1 year since my surgery. I have an appointment with Dr. Trieu on April 7th - exactly 1 year after my surgery. I have been feeling really good. I'm down from an all-time high of 366 pounds (I was only about 325 on the day of my surgery) to 213 pounds as of this morning. Dr. Trieu seemed to think I could have lost more when I went for my 9 month checkup, but I'm happy. I'm still losing - slowly, but losing. If I can get under 200 pounds I'll be pleased. I know that's still overweight, but it is soooo much better than where I was.

I just recently started working out at the gym, which I hope will help keep my weight heading in the downward direction. The one piece I had been bad about was exercise. Basically, I haven't! I get my protein in on most days, I avoid most carbs, and I take my supplements religiously. A few times I've gotten carried away with eating pretzels, nuts and/or trailmix, but I'm trying to keep it under control.

I have been buying new summer clothing lately, as what I had last year does not fit - wahoo! My mother and I are going to Italy for 11 days in July and I definitely need something nice to wear. My winter clothes are all hanging off my body, but I don't want to spend $$ on winter clothing right now with spring weather around the corner. I'll worry about that in August!!

I can't say how much I love my RNY! I know, without a doubt, had I not had the surgery I'd be getting on the scales these days and looking at 400 pounds. When I look at my old pictures I am aghast at how I looked. I look better (except for all the saggy skin!), I feel better, I move better, and my life is better. What more could I ask?

4/11/08
I came home from the hospital today, 4 days post-op. I had to stay an extra day because I had more inflammation around my stoma than is normal according to my surgeon. It is difficult to get in more than one ounce an hour and I constantly feel bloated and in pain. If I walk, I pass some gas and that helps, but not much. I'm sure I'll feel better in a few days, but right now it HURTS!

     Well, only this weekend to get through and then it's on to the losers' bench. My surgery is scheduled for Monday morning, April 7th. I have to be at the hospital at 10:00 AM. I would assume that means my surgery is scheduled for 11:30 or 12:00.

     I began to panic a little yesterday about all the things I might not be able to eat. I think this was a reaction to 11 days on a liquid diet. I posted on the main board and got many positive responses. I need to remember it is all about what I WILL be able to do, not what I WON'T be able to eat.

     After 8 months, the adventure truly begins. . .

PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies ▫ I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size ▫ But when I start to tell them ▫ They think I'm telling lies. ▫ I say ▫ It's in the reach of my arms ▫ The span of my hips ▫ The stride of my steps ▫ The curl of my lips. ▫ I'm a woman ▫ Phenomenally ▫ Phenomenal woman ▫ That's me.
I walk into a room ▫ Just as cool as you please ▫ And to a man ▫ The fellows stand or ▫ Fall down on their knees ▫ Then they swarm around me ▫ A hive of honey bees. ▫ I say ▫ It's the fire in my eyes ▫ And the flash of my teeth ▫ The swing of my waist ▫ And the joy in my feet. ▫ I'm a woman ▫ Phenomenally ▫ Phenomenal woman ▫That's me.
Men themselves have wondered ▫ What they see in me ▫ They try so much ▫ But they can't touch ▫ My inner mystery. ▫When I try to show them ▫ They say they still can't see. ▫ I say ▫ It's in the arch of my back ▫The sun of my smile ▫ The ride of my breasts ▫The grace of my style. ▫I'm a woman ▫Phenomenally▫ Phenomenal woman ▫That's me.
Now you understand ▫ Just why my head's not bowed ▫ I don't shout or jump about ▫Or have to talk real loud ▫ When you see me passing ▫ It ought to make you proud. ▫ I say ▫ It's in the click of my heels ▫The bend of my hair ▫ The palm of my hand ▫The need for my care. ▫ 'Cause I'm a woman ▫ Phenomenally ▫ Phenomenal woman ▫ That's me. 

I must admit that I cut and pasted this from another profile because I LOVE IT! That's what I want to be - a phenomenal woman.