Danielle_24

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I got my paper work filled out today... now I just have to make a list of all attempted diets and medical issues i am having, apparently ontario is picky like that, hopefully not to picky......I am so worried i will not be accepted. I can't do this all on my own.
I am still not willing to post pics..... fearful of appearance, I don't really want others to see me until I am certain of my future.  ( i am such a freak) but i am completely ashamed of who i am on the outside.... i can honestly say that i hate my body... my fat shell. It is hot, sweaty, heavy, bulgey, sickly (and makingg me sicker). when I go for jobs interviews I feel discriminated against, i get the lower payiong positions and no raises, not to mention less coworkers befriend me.......
Fat sucks... and being such an emotional person, I developed bad eating habits when I am upset,or happy, or bored. I eat for entertainment, for fun, for comfort. Im working my self up right now........*sigh*
Whats worse is I indulge in healthier foods! My husband and I don't buy chips or cookies, or ice cream and still look at me..... wait.. i got no pics up lol
Guess you can't look.... not yet.

So I went to the meeting, to get more info and meet the surgeon........ and my husband left surprising accepting and happy for me. I thnk he realized how much better i will really be off!  I have to go to the doctors tomorrow, and do my final OHIP paper work. ....... I hope i get the coverage.

I'm nervous...... this is my first big step towards serious changes in my life.  I did lab work today, hopefully i can send off the insurance papers ina few days....(i hope i am not rejected). I also meet with the surgeon today for the first time. I need this so badly, I just hope that my husband will see this as a good thing... he is convinced I will be worse off after wls.
He has his own weight issues, although not severe as my own.
I need this for my kids, i need this for my job and i need this for my health. I want to live, I want to be happy , I want to be able to ride with my children on the mini kid rides, have both butt cheeks fit on the padded part of the chair...... swing on the swings at the park down the road. I don't want to be embarrassed with my cheecks when i sing on stage... let alone the rest of me. I want to feel good.


So many of you guys have been here, done that. I am just starting and I am worried that insurance will not accept me...
My current BMI is 43...... but according to my doctor i don't have serious co-morbid problems....... IM ONLY 24! I better not have serious problems already.  
I figured rubbing knee joints, heartburn, weak ankles (been on crutches several times), and high risk of diabetes ( runs on both sides of the family) was risk enough..... I will find out in a month or so.ttyl