Dawn C.

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I can't believe its been so long since I posted last.  I often think, "I need to put that in my blog" but never get around to it.  Well.  I've lost a whopping five or so pounds since my 6 month appt.  Its my own fault, I slacked.  I did all the things I said I'd not do.  I stopped putting myself first, and suddenly as it always does, the weight loss stalls.  The great thing is that I haven't gained anything, I've just not lost much of anything either. 

I didn't make my goal of 100 lbs by December 31.  I didn't really try that hard either. I was busy with everything else that isn't important.  I guess it doesn't help that I feel pretty good at this weight.  I feel comfortable in my skin and I feel accomplished.  I think I was slightly discouraged when I went in for a blood pressure check, and I still need meds.  That was my one big thing......get off blood pressure meds.  I'm starting to think I'm one of those people that might just have high blood pressure.  I'll continue to try to reach my goal, and work on my overall health and hope that getting off the birth control hormones totally will put my blood pressure back at normal.  I didn't have high bp at this weight before.  Oh well.

Also, my significant other is giving me some mixed messages about my weight. Not that his thoughts are steering this ship, but it does affect me.  I think also some things have surfaced emotionally that I have to deal with before going on to lose the rest of my weight if I am to be successful.  When the weight comes off, everything emotional that was hiding in it makes its presence known and says "okay. You're not feeding me or covering me over, so deal with me!"  So I am.   I do feel somewhat more vulnerable physically than I used to. But, I'm not a small girl anyhow, so I have to remind myself that i am still a biggun.  There are people who have the surgery AT my weight, not to GET to my weight. 

Things I am enjoying........  When someone parks closely to me, I can still squeeze out of my car without having to press the car door into someone else's car.  Collarbones.  SO SEXY!!  Yes, even if only to me.
Cheekbones.  My rings sliding around on my fingers.  Bones.  HEELS!  doing things with my kids and not feeling self conscious or fearful. 
We went ice skating the other day and previously I was afraid of serious injury to myself or others if I fell. I enjoyed being out and doing healthful things with my children. I felt like they were missing out on these things because of my weight, and I'm glad they no longer are. 

Things I don't enjoy:  barfing. Not tolerating sweet, greasy or spicy foods. Okay I can live without the sweet and I can live without the greasy.  But c'mon.........no spicy? NOT fair!!!! 

losing a watch that had sentimental value because it was too big for me and I'd not had it sized quickly enough.  the hormone and chemical changes--makes my head meds need tweaking, and its never right these days.  

Would I still have the surgery. In half a second. I would NOT give it a second thought. Its still the best thing I ever did for myself.    Thank goodness for my ace in the hole, my lap band. I can always get a fill and quickly get back on the road to my goal. However, I'm trying to do it myself. All I have to do is follow my program and use my tool and the weight will come off. 

I've kind of enjoyed being able to wear clothes for more than a month !  Still, I want to lose almost 70 more pounds.  So, 60 grams of protein, 100 ounces of water and fewer than 40 carbs, here I come. 

I found that Muscle Milk has too much fat for me.  Too many calories, too.  Gotta stick with the low cal, low carb stuff like New Whey.  Its yummy in pommegranite cherry crystal lite mixed with lemonade or limeade. (light of course)

I don't do new years resolutions. I think its stupid, and setting one's self up for failure.  However, I am going to do better for myself and get back to putting myself first so I can do better for everyone around me.

I am down 70 lbs, the dietician thinks its good weight loss for six months.  I am following a regular pattern that has really fast loss for six months, then a trickling off of the pounds until a year.  I have not had to have further restriction other than my sleeve, so I'm happy about that. 

I got my bloodwork done and my iron is low.  Folic acid is low.  B12 is low. So in addition to my regular vitamins, I have to take some supplements.  This was to be expected.  When I heard that the iron and folic acid were low, I decided to play with the dietician a bit and say "So, not a good time to be pregnant?"  She looked a tad stricken until I told her it was a JOKE. 

I need to up my exercise. Shouldn't be hard since there is only one way to go from zero. 

I have passed my half way point.  I am more than half way to my goal, and 70% of my doc's goal of 100 lbs in a year. 

As long as I continue to do what I'm supposed to do, I should keep losing weight.  I notice that when I don't do two protein supplements a day, I'm sluggish and so is the weight loss.


I went to the PCP the other day and my blood pressure is still high.  . The PCP gave me a reduced dose of the diruretic part, but kept me on the full dose of the meds to be rechecked in a month.  I'm a bit bummed.  I'd liked to have gotten off of that stuff! It was one big goal.  I'm weighing less than I did before I had my kids,  and didn't have hypertension, but I still have high blood pressure. I wonder if its the hormones in my IUD?

Oh well.  I need to go for a reeval with the cpap......I've not been using it regularly and I need to get an official  "don't need it anymore".
I have nothing witty, funny or insightful to say right now. I'm tired! 

My bras and draws are too big.  One pair of undies started to fall down when I was walking down the hallway at work. It was kinda funny! 

My underwear are headed up my back.   They're sticking out of waistbands and stuff.  I tried to hold off buying new stuff because I was trying not to have to replace as much but its unavoidable at this point.  Nobody deserves to have granny draws turn into super granny draws. So I got new undies today.

Earlier than this though, I started bra shopping.  I must have tried on at least 25 bras.  DD is now too large, I spill out of a D.  Nothing fits well!  Its like the cup needs a dart taken in it.  Being that I refuse to alter bras, I'm wearing the dd bras I have until I can fit a D properly.  It looks a bit odd under my shirts, but whatever. What else can I do?  

Weight loss surgery changes your life right down to your bras and draws!

I was trying on a dress recently and saw lines going down my shins from my knees to my ankles, on both sides.  What in the hell? I thought....

Well, it took a second but then I realized these things were called bones, and I could see mine again.   I read an article that said to make your legs look longer use shimmery lotion on the fronts when you lotion up in the summer.  After seeing the bones, do you know that now EVERY day I wear something that is bare legged from the knee down, I slather quench mousse lotion on my shins?!!   I feel soooooo good about seeing bones!

I can also see my shoulders, collarbones and my rings need to be sized.

I can't believe its been this long since I blogged. What a damn shame!

When I went back to work, it was really hard to get anything done in the evening.  I was so tired.  I'd have to take a quick nap in order to get anything done.  It takes a LOT out of your body to have your stomach taken out of your body.

Let's see...........what has changed......... I've lost over fifty pounds now.  I'm eating more regular foods now.  I am losing only two to three pounds a week, but I Think that's healthy.

I need to have my three/four month appt, I had to reschedule because I forgot ot get my bloodwork done!  I also have to go to the general practitioner and see about getting my bp meds lowered and I'm now at the weight I should be having another sleep study to see if I still need the cpap.

Some great things about losing weight:

I've had more fun with my kids this summer.  SO much so, blogging hasn't been much on my mind!

I enjoy shopping for myself, except that things I buy don't look good long because they get too big fast!

I feel a lot better about myself.

I weigh less than I did when I got married.

I weigh less than my husband.

My father said I look more relaxed.

I no longer beat myself up everytime I pass a mirror.

Best of all, I don't feel stuck anymore. I don't feel trapped by the constant battle and constant thoughts about my weight. I feel successful where my weight is concerned rather than reliving failure time and time again.


Best and worst together:  I get nausea from sweets. 

Worst thing?  Still have to diet. If I eat the wrong things, I don't lose weight--at least not as much.  It proves that this surgery was medically necessary for me to be a healthy weight though, so I made a good decision.

Not a great thing but tolerable/good tradeoff:  New stomach hates spicy stuff, but I love spicy stuff. 

April 25

This morning I woke up with some acid-y feelings and belching.  Whoa, what is this?   I haven't had ANY of this previously.  Then I start thinking...I switched from prevacid to zantac as per the doctor's instructions after one month.  Clearly this was a mistake. I've been miserable all day. Nothing feels good in my stomach.  I feel like I did when I had an ulcer in college.  Stomach pain, acidy burps, and the feeling that acid is crawling up my throat.  After a day of this, I finally decide that the surgeon is there for these kind of issues and I called the doc on call.  He called me in some more prevacid.  Thank GOD.  Whoda thunk six weeks out, my issue would be ACID!!!

I'm wondering now if my recent fondness for sugarfree ice laden things like fudgesicles and popsicles was a subtle warning that something was going on.   To top it off, I think I've hit my first stall.  I haven't lost any weight thus far this week from Tuesday until now.  Oh well.  I can't help but to lose weight, right?  It won't be forever.  I probably need to exercise more regularly. So after a pretty good six weeks, I have been miserable today, absolutely miserable.  

I'm sure I'll win the war, but this battle kicked my ass.

I've sent in a photo for my blog picture.  I'm not sure when it'll appear. The only other way I can upload one is if I have a website from which to post a picture.   I would think it would be easier to just allow uploads from someone's computer, but I don't make the rules, now do I? 

Oh my. What ever did I do?  So dh is working late (what's new?)  and I am hurry, hurry, hurry trying to finish the stew so I can feed the kids and also overseeing homework.  Multitasking for the millenium, I suppose.  So, I tasted the beef to see if it was tender enough for me to eat if I take small bites and chew, chew, chew.  It was! I chew, chew, chewed it. So glad I remembered to chew it to bits.  

I'm smart, see? I know that its going to take a while for the veggies to get tender, so I'm going to get my protein and liquids in by putting a  (New Whey) bullet in crystal light and drinking as much as I can before the stew is ready.  Such a smart, efficient girl am I!!! I am SOOOOOOOOO clever. 

So why am I getting this ugly feeling in my stomach as I sip, sip, sip?  Then it hits me. I tasted the beef.  Tasting is eating.  Eating and drinking at the same time is not just a philosophical no-no, its a no no for  a very good reason.  There isn't any rooom and the passage way is only so large.  I sinked !  Luckily it was just one bite and just a few sips. Still, my stomach let me know, "Oh hail naw! You  did NOT try to eat and drink at the same time?!"  

Ah. The joys.

Relatively no pain, only when I over do it or at the end of a really long day.  

I'm getting used to my new way of eating!  I don't feel much hunger.  One really terrific thing is that its, you know, the week that preceeds THAT week and I feel virtually NO cravings for sweets.  THIS is monumental. I always craved sweets horribly during PMS week!  I'm sooooooo thrilled with THIS!!


The best news is that at five weeks out, I now weigh what I did when I brought my second dear daughter home from the hospital.  If I continue to lose 5 or 6 lbs a week I will weigh less than I did at my wedding on my BIRTHDAY in June.  

I'm a happy camper. For sure!!  

I miss popcorn. There. I said it. I miss the crunch. I miss munching while watching a movie, or getting a snack with my kids at Tar-jay!!  
I miss my beloved popcorn!!!  I feel like Homer Simpson when he said "Snack foods, why do you have to be so tasty?!" LOL 

My clothes are falling off of me!  Its a nice feeling until they start to look sloppy!!!  

Even though my spouse and I took it up the wazoo April 15,  I'm still feeling mighty happy, more energetic and slimmer!!!  

I saw my GP last week, he said come back in another 25 lbs and he'll probably be able to lower the BP meds.  My BP was PERFECT this time around.  Just perfect, not spectacular! 

She said I am doing well, but need to stop being afraid that I'm going to fail to lose weight if I eat reall food and go ahead and EAT.  I knew I was going slowly, but didn't realize that I was afraid that I wouldn't lose weight or that I'd damage my pouch.  

So tonight, hubby ordered chinese and I ate chicken and broccoli.  Chewed to death, but I did manage to eat.  In fact, more fit than I thought would, but I didn't eat to the point of feeling pain, just to the point where I could tell I was pretty much full.    It wasn't very spicy, which was good because I am working up my nerve to get with spices again. LOL 

Solid protein does stay with one pretty long.  I ate the broccoli in almost equal amounts because I don't want to experience constipation again!  Im also chewing fiber choice supplements daily, and luckily its helping me get in my calcium. No other supplement needed! 


The nutritionist gave me the regular vitamins we are to consume, so I'm off chewables. Now if I can only get back on my time release meds so that I don't have to do a handful of meds.  I can't swallow them all like I used to, and frankly its too hard to remember them all when I have to split them up. 

I never could find a definite defnition of this term on the boards or on the "lingo list".  I think I now know EXACTLY what this is.  Last night, I had a slice of deli turkey.  This isn't a big deal, I've had it before.   I think I didn't chew it well enough, or I ate it too quickly.   The result was horrible!!!!  I was in pain, felt like something was in my throat---ugh it was awful. I wanted to throw up, but nothing was forthcoming on its own.  My mouth kept filling with saliva as if I were going to vomit, but alas no vomit.  I couldn't stand it any longer so I put my finger down my throat to get a gag going and up came a big gob of foamy slimey stuff.  But not the turkey. lol  After that, I felt completely fine!!  Relief!  I slimed. I kept thinking, my poor stomach!!  What in the heck did I do to it?

 It was foaming like it was rabid.  Maybe it was pretty got danged pissed by this point.  Its been smelling all these wonderful foods, and getting all of these protein shakes.  Its been used to pasta, and salad, and wonderfully spicy foods and its been getting plain flavors, bland even.  Neopolitan flavors at best!  So I can't blame it for being pretty pissed. Not only did I have most of it removed, but its deprived of all things yummy right now, too?  No wonder it foamed at the esophagus. LOLO 

So there it is, my first adventure in being  Ghost Stomach Buster.   Who ya gonna call?