Dawn C.

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  Today, I was to go to get my cpap at 10am. Rachael is ill. So I high tail her to the doctor, bring her home, get Maya to school and then get myself to the doctor in Vienna , then to work near Springfield Mall.  Just in time to switch and teach! 

 Cardiologist.  I went in and waited until nearly 11 for my 10 oclock appt.  The physician’s assistant did a pretty thorough background bit, and listened well to my heart and lungs.  I waited until 11:30  for the cardiologist to pretend to listen to my heart for thirty seconds and then order a test and leave.  This was the test that the front office said they should probably schedule at the itme I scheduled my appt, but noooooooooo. One must go back as many times as possible. The front office was Unapologetic about my appt being so late. They said “we’re always running late the reason he didn’t get to you is because he was doing a stress test. “  Then don’t effing schedule people on top of eachother like that!   If I had time Id’ fire this joker and find someone else, but I don’t, so I have to miss another day of school to have a stress test done in time to get cleared for surgery.  I later figured with my coteacher that we could switch on that Friday…..I’ll teach the morning and she’ll do the afternoon. We have  a Read Across America thing going on and she’s the reading teacher, so it fits.  This woman is such a sweet heart! She’s very flexible and sooooooo great to work with.  Its nice to work with someone who is willing to be flexible, and that we can count on eachother to pick up the slack when necessary.

 

 

 

Ok WHY must I go to my primary care to get a referral for bloodwork that I already have a script for from the surgeon? Because I have Nyet-Na HMO.  So lets see what this morning looked like.   7:30 appt with physician.  Came home, got kids off to school, went to vote, went to get bloodwork, stopped into DSW to see if I could find a suitable pair of shoes for the funeral then ran to work to arrive JUST In time.   This is what its going to be like for the next few weeks. Add in sick husband and sick kids, and you've got a life. :)

 

 

 

Apparently I do have sleep apnea.  I have to go back for another study for them to set me up with a CPAP machine. Joy joy. We are going to have the sexiest bedroom known to man and woman with the two breathing machines going all night long.  

On the other hand, Michael's brother died yesterday, possibly from a blood clot.  His health has been no so great, and  he weighed close to 400 if it wasn't 400.  I was kinda hoping that he'd consider the surgery after he saw me have it.   

 

I'm nervous about the surgery. There isn't any doubt about it. I'm not so much afraid of surgery as I am of complications and the very very slight possibility of perishing.  Not for myself, but because my daughters need me. Which is also the reason I'm having the surgery. How ironic! I know that if something happens, my family and friends will make sure that they know how much I loved them and wanted them and how they are the most important thing in my life.  Nothing gives me more joy.  I will be even more joyful to do the things I've wanted to do but that I've let my weight hold me back from doing. 

So. Thus far, I've done my sleep study, chest x ray and gall bladder sonogram.  The sleep study was less than fun.  IT wasn't horrible, but I didn't like having the wires all hooked up to me, nor did I appreciate the goop left in my hair.  It was nice though to have a few hours to chill alone before bed. I missed my family, but it was good to miss them if that makes sense.

Still to do.......bloodwork.....colonoscopy (ew) and endoscopy (no thrill, but no where near the ew as the booty offense.)

I told my coworkers and my boss. Everyone knows someone who has had the surgery, and there were a few people who said "I would never think you could have that surgery, you don't look that big." Well.  That's very nice, but I'm double what I was when I was 16.  DOUBLE.  My BMI fluctuates between 47 and 51.  So. There we have it.  I've worked for a very long time at this and just decided its time for the drastic tool. 

I confess, everytime I eat certain things, I think "this is the last time I'll have this".  I'm okay with it though, because I figure I've eaten plenty of everything in my life time already.  The hardest thing right now I think will be coke zero. 

Wanna know what's sad to me?  Whenever I go to the surgeon's office, I'm one of the smaller people.  There are a lot of miserably obese people.  Its not just about food choices, I'm sure.  

My second fear is that I have emotional issues that will surface once I'm done focusing on trying to lose weight and its actually coming off. What if I become someone I don't like?

I began thinking about surgery for weight loss after I was diagnosed with high blood pressure.  That was 2004/2005. My GP wanted me to continue trying on my own until I was 38 or 40, and so I did, pretty much though I started looking into surgery seriously. 

After the appointment I had in June of 2006, I continued getting my ducks in a row for surgery.  I was seeing my GP monthly for weigh ins and whatnot for the insurance prereq's.  Over time, I was less and less comfortable with the surgeon I saw, because he spent so little time with me and I didn't leave with much more information than I had before I came, other than that I was indeed a candidate. One of the reasons I hadn't considered surgery before was two fold.  One, I was a bit in denial, and thought the surgery was for THOSE people who just didn't have any self control or will power and didn't want to exercise.  I was a person who did diet, and did exercise and do have will power.  I was still obese though, and convinced that I could do it on my own!  The second part was that I thought that because I have pco/adrenal issues and hypothyroid, simply having a surgery wouldn't help me.  He DID explain that once the weight was lower, the hormonal problems would subside a bit because the fat and estrogen drive one another.  The thyroid, won't change, but I am okay with that. There is familial history and if I can get rid of the other stuff, I'll be satisfied. 

During the time I was waiting out the six month hoop jumping with insurance I became employed for the first time in five years. My commute was an hour each way depending on traffic, and we still were still digging out financially, and the copay of $2000 was not within my reach. Also, I got the bright idea that with hard work, I really could do this myself.  But, I still picked up insurance via my new job just in case so I could be sure to have insurance coverage if I did have surgery.  

I tabled the whole thing and focused on getting back in the swing of working.  During the summer, I started researching doctors again, and my GP had mentioned that he would be more comfortable if would at least go and have a consult with a doctor he had heard do a talk and with whom he was very impressed.  I went to Dr. Elariny's informational session and it was very, very impressive. He was complete, he didn't sugar coat anything, and he explained each and every surgery he does in depth. He was clear about the costs and the lifestyle afterward.  I felt a lot better about this doctor than I did the other, so I made the decision to have the surgery.  That was July of 2007.   In November I met with the nutritionist, and December had my consult with Dr. Elariny's office. I ended up talking to his fellow Dr. Williams and the PA and decided that this was a better fit for me. I'm sure the other surgeon was fine, but comfort level matters.  I wanted to have surgery in early January during the three week intercession from work, but it just wasn't enough time to get all of the paperwork done.  
The third week of January, I found out that I'd been approved by insurance for the procedure, and then started on all of the prerequisites for surgery.  I think that fills in the gaps between July of 2006 and now.  

June 29th:
First appt with surgeon. He was rushed as some patients were late, then he had everyone showing up at once. I wasn't very pleased as I felt that after waiting for well over an hour and a half, that he rushed through the appointment. He was adamant about me being a good candidate for surgery, but he was no where near the personable, caring doctor I'd heard tell of from others. Good thing my first impression of him came from his informational seminar. He DID remember me from the seminar he conducted, so I gave him a pass for just trying to get through his patients at top speed that morning.

I have three months to wait because of the silly six consecutive month thing, so I'm making appointments to get my psych eval and sleep study (waste of time! and money!) etc etc done. I'm jumping my hoops and planning to make sure I get approved as soon as I can apply. The sad thing is that most of the tests other than the sleep study were done less than a year ago during a three day hospital stay. I don't think they'll be able to use them though.