Apr 07, 2010

Okay so, I've started today exercising. I'm doing the biggest loser workout. I started out with 10 minutes because I'm really out of shape. Tomorrow maybe I'll do 11. I know that this will help me out in the long run. Its not that I hate to exercise I really didn't mind it but its just that its hard at this weight to do a lot of exercise. I'm home now though and I really need to work my muscles. I didn't do some of the more strenuous parts I just reverted back to two moves he shows you in the beginning. I was sweating and huffing and puffing let me tell you! I'm thinking that I may have to lose some weight before surgery. So I want to have that mind set before I go in. Then I can easily lose that weight. I haven't changed my eating habits right yet, but I have started the exercises. I think rather than cutting back drastically just cut back slowly. Like tonight rather than eat a "meal" as a snack, I could just have a piece of fruit and maybe some milk. Or just some milk. I'm a night eater. I can do FABULOUS through out the day then bang at night its over. All over. When I lost 76lbs previously some nights I would just go to bed at like 8pm to keep myself from eating. I had previously gotten down to 376lbs. Now I don't know what I weigh in Jan it was 463lbs. I've changed already though I try to remain positive about everything! I used to be soooooo extremely negative. Positivity has a lot of power. I used to take a lot of anti depressants anti aniexty  meds I don't take any of those now, my moods have been completely level. I want to live. At one point I had become comfortable in this body and the fact that I may only live until I was 30. Then I realized that, this wasn't normal thinking and all the things I would miss out on. And my husband who said "I want you to bury me, not me bury you." That really got to me. I'm scared about the surgery. I'm trying to think on the positive though.  Hopefully, I can keep this positivity going. :0)


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Charles Town, WV
Mar 02, 2010
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