Dreamin192

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Okay first of all, I can't say enough how great Dr. Toder is. I know I am biased since she basically saved my life and all, but still, she is such a skilled surgeon and she is also great to talk to. I had my 6 month visit with her today, we talked about how 100 calorie snack packs are evil and that I need to up my exercise, both things I know, so no surprises there. She's happy with my progress too which is good. We also talked about my upcoming wedding and the dress and when she got married etc. and she thinks I am going to have to sell the dress I got and buy a whole new one, lol I hope not. I am really hoping it can be taken in but I guess we'll wait and see. I am going to try it on again in April and see what the damage is. I am so torn...I want to lose weight and at the same time I want to fit into my dress, lol most people want to lose weight to fit into their dresses, me I can't lose weight and still fit into it. Oooohhh the reverse stresses of WLS, like crying because all my clothes are too big instead of being upset they are all too small.

Okay so, I have lost almost no weight since November/December and finally dawned on me the other day that November is when I started using Nuva ring. I didn't have any trouble when I was on the pill but for some reason that darn ring doesn't like me to lose anything. Sooo I've decided not to use it anymore and stopped on Friday and I have already lost 2lbs. Don't get me wrong, I know that I cannot become pregnant and there is no risk of that at this point. I will start using it or some other form of BC when I get married in June. I really am just not ready to give up my weight loss yet, I feel like I have so far to go. Hopefully this will help me get down as far as I can before I have to start up again. I just wanted to post this incase anyone else is having trouble with loss and is on nuva ring, not saying stopping using it is right for everyone but it might be worth it to talk to your doc about alternatives.

Okay, as of yesterday I am 6 months out from surgery. That means my weight loss will slow, and I am not pleased about that. I haven't lost hardly anything in the past month as it is. I guess I expected to lose more. I'm just going to have to work harder at it.

I haven't lost any weight in quite awhile and it's bothering me a lot. I know it's probably because I am so stressed out with wedding planning and school and trying to prepare to take the LSATs tomorrow, if I don't do well on them I can't go to law school...AHHH!!! I always seem to be hungry and my exercise is pretty much none lately due to my stress and I am always tired, maybe because of the stress? Anyway, I just wanted to vent because every day I get up and I am either 241 or 240, I want to see it go down!!!

Tuesday evening I started getting very uncomfortable in my lower abdomen. I didn't think much of it, probably just constipation. Then yesterday the dull pain turned into shooting pains in my lower abdomen and in my upper abdomen under my ribs and where my pouch is. Sometimes the pain was so bad I was crying. I tried to tough it out but after consulting with my mom and fiance decided to go to the ER. In my head I knew it was nothing but at the same time I wanted the comfort of a doctor telling me it was nothing as opposed to risking having something seriously wrong. Well low and behold after 5 hours in the ER, X-Rays, and a CT scan it was decided that I was seriously constipated. They sent me home with a bottle of milk of magnesia and told me to drink half. I decided to only drink 1/3 of it because of how my insides are rearranged. No effect. I got up and drank more, so there was about 1/3 left, no effect. So I have now finished the bottle and am getting a little relief. Anyway I just wanted to share this experience because abdominal pain can be really serious especially for GB patients and you shouldn't risk it. It's better to go to the ER and hear it's nothing, or have the doctor tell you you are full of **** than it is to try and tough it out and have something seriously wrong.

I was doing some online shopping after the holidays and Gap was having a big sale which I was super excited about because before leaving for California I discovered not only could I wear Gap jeans for the first time in well forever, but a size 20 was too big! So I had to send them back and get 18's which I didn't get till after I got home and those were on the questionable size. Anyways, while online shopping they had jeans which were originally something like $55 onsale for $25, being more than half off I had to purchase them so I ordered a size 18 and a size 16 because I figured I would be wearing them soon. Well they arrived yesterday and just for fun I decided to try on the size 16's first and they fit!! I could button them!! I didn't expect it at all! They are a smidge tight but I know they will be fitting perfectly in a few weeks, I did wear them for the rest of the night though lol I refused to take my awesome small jeans off.

I am back from California, it was a long but fun trip. We go out to see my fiance's family and I love them so much. While there I lost 8 lbs so that is pretty exciting as well. I bought my wedding dress yesterday on the way home from the airport which is nerve wracking. I couldn't actually try it on in my size because they didn't have it so I had to try on a smaller one to get an idea but my mom and sister loved it and I did as well so we ordered it in my size and it should be in at the end of march. It's strapless (AHHH! Not sure if I can pull it off) and floor length and covered in a lace flower design with pearl embroidery. I don't have any good pictures of it since it didn't exactly fit right but when I go pick it up in March I will take some. I hope everyone had good holidays!

I keep forgetting to take pictures of myself so I am posting some pictures from when I was trying on dresses the other day.

Alright so I have noticed that my jacket is getting looser and I went and tried on wedding dresses the other day and the 20s were much too big, last time I went I barely fit in them. I need to buy a bunch of new pants so I was taking my measurements and even with two pants on (pj pants under jeans...I'm cold lol!) I have 49 inch hips...49!! The hip measurement for size 20 womens jeans at Old Navy is 49 1/2!! I haven't been able to buy regular clothes in such a long time, this is honestly going to be the first non plus size clothes purchase I have made in years. I just want to tell everyone!!!

Okay this is probably TMI but here it goes. I have no idea if I am the only one who experiences this but every month, at that time, I gain like 5 lbs. This happened before I had surgery and wasn't bad the first time after surgery but as things have been getting more regular the weight gain is coming back. It's so frustrating so be at 255 one day then get on the scale the next and be 258! I am back down to 256 now but I can't help feeling like I have been set back. I know it's just being bloated or whatever but still, I just needed to vent.