Dreamin192

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I had my first water fitness class last night, Monday's was canceled because of the snow. It was crazy. I definitely need the exercise in my life but the only part that bothered me was the legs, they definitely got tired. Other than that I didn't really feel much, it was just a chance to have fun with friends and get active. Well, when I got out of the pool, oh my gosh! I felt like I weighed a thousand pounds and my muscles started to hurt. Then I couldn't stay awake when I got home and I ended up sleeping for like 10 hours. The good part is I apparently lost over a pound so if I keep this up, which I will, I will get to my goal of losing 100lbs. in a year. 250 would make me 100 lbs. lighter than I was last January at 350. Well, we will see what tonight brings, aqua aerobics should really wear me out. I'll have to make sure to do my homework before I go.

Wow, 8 more lbs. to go and I will be at the 100 lb. mark! If I loose it before the end of the year, which hopefully I should barring any stalls, I will be 100 lbs. lighter than I was in January of this year. Monday I am starting my weekly workout routine. I know I was supposed to already have one but to be completely honest it's hard to do it. I am so busy with classes and when I get home all I want to do is relax and then I have homework to do and the last thing I want to do is hop on the treadmill for half an hour. However Monday I am starting aqua aerobics on monday and wednesday and something called high low H2O on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I really feel like this is going to better for me because it's something that is scheduled into my life and I can't just be like oh I don't feel like going. Hopefully it will boost my weight loss and help tone my arms before my wedding in June, I really don't want super flabby bat arms which is the direction I am going in right now!

Okay, I am down 85lbs. since I started my WLS journey and I have 85 to go, woohoo! Well, for my goal anyway, my nut. told me the goal was to get between 250-200, so I am a lot closer to that than my own. I know it is going to take a lot longer for the next 85 lbs. but it's still exciting.

It's been almost 3 months since my surgery and I had my 3 month nutrition appt. today. I am officially down 57lbs. but I have lost 7lbs. of muscle, so I am over by 2lbs. as far as that is concerned. She said for every 10 lbs you lose 1 lb is muscle and 9 are fat and losing muscle will happen, it just so happens I have lost a bit much. I guess I have to step up my exercise because I know my protein intake is fine.

Maybe...more likely it's just falling out. I heard it starts at 50lbs. or some amount of time and I am at 50lbs so I guess it's to be expected. I noticed it just now getting out of the shower and seeing hair all on my shoulders and between my fingers. Then the other day in class I ran my fingers through my hair which resulted in quite a few strands being lost. I know it's to be expected and I'm not going bald but it's not fun. I also weighed myself at 273 this morning, thank God. Hopefully I can lose a few more pounds before the next support group, it would be really embarrassing to go in and say I have only lost like 2 pounds in the past month.

I got on the scale this morning to be welcomes by 274 staring me in the face, thank God! However, I am doing a 12 hour fast because I have to have blood work done...so it could be a result of that. I guess only tomorrow will tell. In other news I am scare for my friends and family in CA, some in Escondido and Encinitas who have been evacuated once and now maybe again and the others in Murrieta who are not in any danger right now but the Rice Canyon fire is growing closer. I also think I finally found a wedding dress I like which is exciting but I am so stressed out with everything right now I can't even think about the wedding. I just pray the firefighters can get the blazes under control soon.

Alright a few weeks ago my scale says 274...YAY! Next day itbounces back up to 277 and there it has stayed for going on three weeks! I am so miserable. I have no idea what I am doing wrong. How is it even possible that I am not losing weight. I am supposed to be down to atleast 275 by Nov. 11 according to my nutritionist but at this rate it's not going to happen. AAAAHHHHHHH!!!

It's getting pretty chilly in Maine so it's time to break out the winter coats and such. I have a vest that I got at Old Navy last winter...or perhaps the winter before, not sure. It's a 4X and it has always been tight. I have just been wearing it this fall and happened to look down the other day and realized how incredibly loose it was. Today I told my sister I wanted to try something and I was able to zip us both up inside of it. It wasn't comfortable ofcourse but still, I was kind of amazed. So then I started going through the closet looking for old winter coats.  The first one I came across was a XXL Peacoat from Old Navy that I wore in high school. It hasn't fit me in years, I have tried it lol because I love peacoats and it's so hard to find good looking ones in plus sizes. I put it on tonight and was not only able to fir into it but to BUTTON IT!! It doesn't completely fit me right, it's a little tight in the cheat when buttoned but I figure when it gets really cold here in a few weeks I should be able to wear it without problem. Sooo then I was like hmm what about my leather jacket. Not like a biker jacket mind you, a tailored one, size XL, I got on sale at the Gap in highschool, when I was at my lowest weight of like 220lbs. I could put it on!! It's not comfortable and I would never wear it out but I could atleast get my arms in it and wear it. It wont zip either but I figure it's only a matter of time, I never thought I would be able to wear that again! My mom even said she considered getting rid of it when we moved this summer. I just had to share my winter wear WOW moment!

I don't have much to say RNY wise, I have been doing great. The pain in my side has gone away. The only problem now is that I discovered my scale was not on a flat surface and so was not giving me proper weight readings, I noticed this the other morning when I got on it and it said I weighed 250...YEAH RIGHT! So now it is moved to a flat surface and I am back up to 280, which is okay because it's not like I gained the weight back, I just thought I lost more than I did. Either way I am down to a ON Plus size 20 pant and that is awesome for me. I am taking some of my bridesmaids down to Portland tomorrow to look at dresses and I am super excited about that. Hopefully I can ignore my flabby arms!

I went to try on wedding dresses yesterday...it was sort of fun. The problem was exactly what I thought it would be, not a whole lot of sample dresses in large sizes. There were lots of 20's which fit me perfectly around the waist but the bust was too small. Then they had one 24 and one 26, the 24 was falling off me and had to be pinned up. It was exciting because the last formal dress I bought was in the spring and it was a size 26 so to be down to a 22 now is great. It's frustrating because I can't really seriously look at dresses yet because I have no idea what size I will be in a few months. I am going to hold off as long as I can to order one. Anyway this whole story leads up to my saggy arms. My arms have always been big as can be seen in my before pictures and now they are still big but more saggy. I sleep in tank tops and every day my mom is like "your arms are so saggy, go put some lotion on them!" The lotion being this lift and tuck stuff from avon. I had mentioned to her that I don't like my arms (while trying on dresses) and so today she calls my little sister over and is like pointing out my arms asking what I can do to make them less saggy. I realize she meant well but it just made me cry. I am trying to hard to lose weight and I am going to have extra skin, I just don't think there is any way around that. Even Dr. Toder said that skin reaches a point where it wont bounce back because it's too strecthed out. The skin on my arms definitely is that way, covered in stretch marks. I would love to not have flabby arms but I am happy just being smaller in general. I am going to work on trying to tone them some my lifting weights but I am convinced that at a point there is nothing else that can be done short of plastic surgery. Ugh...just wanted to vent.