First date - update

Nov 10, 2011

Well..  I'm sad.  And, I need to talk about it.  I used to turn to food to feel better, but food just doesn't have the same medicating effect on my emotions that it once did since having the wls.

I got stood up on my "first date" back into the fray of things.  We were texting the day of the date earlier in the day and things just went silent.  There was no fight, no falling out, no apparent boredom in the company we were sharing.  Things just went silent.

I've been holding out hope that I would still hear from him.  I thought that maybe something had happened, a sink hole maybe opened up under his feet and it took him several days to reach his cell ph... something like that.  That scenario is a little extreme, but you get the idea.  But my little light bulb of hope is starting to dim and now I am starting to feel sad.  Hope dies hard for me, so hard.  It always has. 

UPDATE:  Well...  I got some more confirmation.  I was just simply stood up.  He did the time honored approach of men through the millenium of just avoiding instead of saying, hey, you seem like a nice person but I don't see this working out.  Ug...  what a horrible initiation back into the world of dating!  Now I am steeped in all of these emotions and I just want to escape them.  I want to sleep them away, drink them away, even pop pills to numb them.  I did go to bed early (which just resulted in me waking up early, still emotionally ravaged), and I do have some Irish Cream topping off my morning protein drink, but I have not resorted to pills.  UG!!!  I hate this.  I did eat... pasta.  My old soother friend pasta.  And... I did feel calmer after eating it.  Amazing how that works!  I need to put water behind me to escape the feelings.  I'm thinking the best way to let them go is to provide other things to feel excited about.  I've been working on some low budget home remodeling.  Pulling up carpet to take the floor down to the original wood, moving things around, throwing things out.  I've got a three day weekend to work with this weekend -- I'm thinking of getting some paint and getting some painting done.  And ... if I can stand it, I might make some more connections on match.  This sucks...

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