Long Overdue.....

Jan 20, 2011

My goodness I didn't realize it had been soooooo long since I posted something on here! I guess I should begin with an update of sorts....It is now January 2011 and to date I have lost 110 pounds. I'm weighing in at 107 pounds! I wasn't even this small in the Army! I was hit with another nasty stomach bug very similar to the one that I had in December 2008 this past October. Only this time instead of having everything going out "the end", this time around I couldn't stop throwing up! Hubby finally had to take me to the Dr to get a shot to stop me from getting sick and dehydrated....It wasn't much fun! It seems that post Roux En Y I seem to get hit with a BAD stomach bug at least once a year now. Not sure if this is to be expected or even if it's normal, but oh well--it is what it is, I guess...
   It is a DAILY struggle to get in enough fluids and protein and anymore I find myself coming up WAY short. I don't know why this is such a struggle for me?? I had been drinking the ready-made Atkins protein shakes for quite some time and they seemed to help boost my daily protein intake, but honestly I'm really getting tired of them! I'm a HUGE fan of the Bolthouse Farms mocha-cappachino drinks that Save-A-Lot carries in their dairy section. I've also seen them at both WalMart and Sam's club so I know they're out there...hopefully I won't tired of them any time soon because I'm quickly running out of palate pleasing protein shake options. ARGH!
   Currently I'm wearing clothes that range in size from 0-2. That in and of itself still amazes me. Before I had this surgery, I could envision myself wearing a size 10/12 and thought that would have been great (which at the time I actually WAS those sizes, it was!). I no more ever expected to end up being this "small"! I get accused from time to time of looking like I'm on the brink of becoming "anorexic". For anyone who truly knows me, that is an obviously absurd accusation! I STILL (& prolly ALWAYS will...) LOVE, LOVE, LOVE food! An anorexic person I definitely AM NOT! I guess most people don't really understand the mechanics of the roux en y surgical procedure and the malabsorption factor that it creates. I DO eat, most of the time I STILL eat things that I know I probably shouldn't, and 99% of the time, I pay dearly for doing so! My new stomach pouch seems to be able to hold roughly 4 ounces of food at this point. If I eat too quickly or if I ignore the little voice in my head that says "Stop eating now...you're full....", oh boy how I suffer! I will normally either wind up throwing up the entire contents of my stomach or spend several hours in misery with a terribly sick tummy! I must say though, I've only had two really bad dumping episodes post surgery. The first was caused from swallowing a mouthful of orange juice....I was told that the first time I ever experienced a true dumping episode I would know it because I'd feel as though I were dying. That is 100 percent a true statement! The episode lasted roughly an hour and I was absolutely miserable every second of that hour! The second episode hit me shortly after I ate a taco from Taco Bell....I was sick with severe dumping symptoms for almost 24 hours after that! It was pure misery!! Needless to say, I no longer drink orange juice or eat anything from Taco Bell!
   I've hit several weight loss plateaus in the last 28 months, some much longer than others, and every time I get it set in my head that I'm finished losing weight, another few pounds always seem to melt away. At this stage of the game, I'm no longer actively trying to lose weight. My doctor gave me a weight loss goal to get down to 120 pounds, and I had my own personal goal to weigh in at 115 pounds. Obviously I've passed by both of those goals at this point, however I'm no longer trying to lose even one additional pound. In my mind, I'm content with my weight as long as it remains under 115 pounds. I've always worried that at some point I would start gaining the weight back, so as long as I'm maintaining a weight that stays under my target of 115 pounds, I'm good. There for a while my daughter and I could share clothes with each other because we were wearing the same sizes. THAT was such a good feeling! Now, I wear a smaller size than she does, and while I don't have a problem with that, she does, for obvious reasons. My girl wears a size 5/6 and is 5'3", so she is weight and height proportional for her build. She looks good and hopefully will never have to worry about excess weight the way her mother has for so many years.
   Now that I'm pretty much finished losing the weight and as my body transits into the "maintenance" phase of this weight loss journey, I find that more often than not my thoughts drift towards plastic surgery....I have been lucky in that my skin has retained some of its elasticity but when a person is as big as I was for as long as I was, things never completely go back to the way they were pre-weight gain. That being said, if I had a fairy God-Mother with a magic wand, or even a genie in a magic lamp, I'd ask for 'assistance' with the following areas of my body....I desperately need a tummy tuck and a chest lift. I could also use some lipo-suction in both my thighs and upper arms. Throw in a little botox to chase away the developing wrinkles and crow's feet on my face, and I'd be (or at least feel like) good as new!!
    The past two years have had their share of ups and downs, and sometimes I've even caught myself questioning my decision to go forward with the roux en y surgery. But then I take a look at my three beautiful children and my amazing husband and realize that for the first time in ages, I can actually keep up with the kids and chase them around the playground instead of just sitting and watching them from a nearby park bench....I can take long walks now hand in hand with my husband and actually keep up with him, and not feel like death after the first 1/4 mile.....This has truly been a life changing transformation....My journey through the last 28 months has taught me SO much about myself and has not only given me my health back, but has also given me a whole new outlook on life and on love, but it has also taught me that I really can do anything that I set my mind to.......

0 Comments