elizalde
Why Am I So Stupid!
Oct 20, 2009
You would think I would have learned my lesson and stopped doing it! Every time I do it, I vow never to do it again, but sure enough, it happens again, and again, and again. (OK, I normally don't curse, so please forgive me but...) I am such an *SS!!!Foot In Mouth Disease. That is what I call it. You know, when you say something and you realize that you shouldn't have. Then you go through a gamut of thoughts and emotions like:
* Maybe they didn't understand.
* They know I didn't mean it.
* Well, it's true!
* Aren't I allowed to say what I think?
* It is a free country after all. I am exercising my freedom of speech.
* Oh, man! I shouldn't have said that!
* I am such an idiot.
* Why do I keep doing this?
* I am an embarrassing joke.
* How can I call myself a christian and be so mean?
* My credibility, just went out the window.
* I hope they'll forget about it.
* How do I say sorry now?
* Will they even want to hear from me?
* AWWWWWWW!!!!!!
I think I will stop posting on the message boards until after my surgery. I will have a different perspective then. Maybe there should be filters on this website... Like pre-ops only allowed to read and not post on post-ops. That would be a good one for me.
I am normally not so insensitive... well maybe I am. Blurting is my MO. Has been since I was a kid. You would think that after doing it for so long I would learn my lesson. But, no! Come on, girl, stop it already!!!!!
OK, Lord, take my life and let it be consecrated to you. Take my will and make it yours. Direct my thoughts and my actions, I am a horrid and sinful person. I don't deserve it, but you promised that if I asked, you would cover me with your forgiveness and change me. Please mold me into the loving person you want me to be. Even if it hurts!!!
I believe in the possibility to change. Pray for me as I go through a character and personality transformation as well as a physical one.
Sincerely, Elizalde
