Where do I even begin? I have pretty much struggled with my weight my entire life. I guess I started putting on the pounds in 4th grade and then in middle school I was very active in the athletics department, playing softball, basketball, volleyball and rollerblading on a daily basis. I was a very active girl up until my freshmen year of high school. After deciding that the coaches in high school were much more than I could handle, I decided to stay in the athletics department (as all my friends played sports) and become a trainer. Since I was not working out on a daily basis, the pounds just started to add on. I was never that beautiful, gorgeous girl outwardly. I was always that girl that was beautiful on the inside. The only thing I had going for me was that I was a great listener and could always make you laugh. I never dated in high school and I did everything that I could to mask the pain I was feeling inside. I started wearing non-prescription glasses my junior year of high school just so I could hide my puffy face. By my senior year of high school I was the heaviest I had ever been. I was wearing a size 20 pant and at the time there weren’t any stores that sold fashionable plus-size clothes. After graduating from high school, I went to the
University
of
North Texas
for one year and continued to gain more and more weight. After deciding that the University was too overwhelming, I decided to come back home and go to community college. I moved into my own apartment and did the community college scene for two years. Living on my own just added to my struggle with weight. I come from a home where dinner in the evening usually consisted of super sized portions of fast food. I never really had the desire to cook, let alone cook for one person, so I would just get in my car and drive to the nearest fast food restaurant. What made it even worse was that I would go to numerous establishments and get double the food. My eating was out of control. I will never forget the moment when my life changed. My mom and I had just come home from a trip to
New York
for my 21st birthday in October of 2002. We had bought a pair of size 20 jeans at Old Navy (the largest size they carry) and I remember lying on my back on my bed and trying so hard to zip up those jeans but to no avail. I sat there on my bed and cried and cried so hard to my mom. I said to her, “I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANY LONGER.” Shortly thereafter, my dad came to me and suggested that he and I start Weight Watchers. I was a little hesitant at first because I had tried just about everything up to this point, including Metabolife, Atkins, South Beach, Herbalife, phen-fen, Weight Watchers (years before). I had even visited a Gastric Bypass facility and even though I was 275 pounds and considered to be morbidly obese (I think I had a BMI of 41), they said my insurance would not cover it. I decided that I didn’t have anything to lose, so dad and I joined Weight Watchers in January of 2003. I had decided to take off a couple of semesters of college, so everyday me and my mother would go outside and walk about 3 to 5 miles for about 5 days a week. By the end of 2003, I had lost about 98 pounds, I went from a size 22 to a size 12 and my dad had lost about 50 pounds. It was the most incredible feeling in the world. I was finally able to buy the clothes I had desired to wear for so long and guys were actually seeing me as more than just a friend. With this new found confidence, I swore to myself that I would never gain the weight back. Unfortunately, it is easier said than done. I finally had a social life and was going out to the bars and clubs and actually dating. All of this partying and socializing was eating away at me. I found myself coming home from the bars and picking up fast food and eating at 2 and 3 in the morning. I looked in the mirror one day at my thin face and I told myself I would never let my body get back to where it started at 275 pounds. Now, here I am in July of 2007 and I am at 267 pounds. The first time I lost all of that weight, I did it for all the wrong reasons: vanity, society, pride, etc. This time around, I want to lose the weight to be healthy. I love physical fitness, especially running and cycling and it’s just so physically demanding to do these types of activities with 100 + pounds holding you back. I want to know the feeling of being full and to be able to go through an entire day where I don’t think about food every waking minute. I already know what it’s like to lose weight, I just want to be able to keep it off. They say everything is bigger in
Texas
, well I would like to put that myth to rest.
