Randy B.

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My incision finally closed, only took THREE months lol! I'm feeling great and down 67ish pounds. Now drinking most of my protein as the veggie soy proteins aren't sitting so well in my tummy. BUT I'm happy!!!

Here are my measurments :)

                              Before Surgery    After Surgery
Arm                             13 1/2             12.8
Leg                              28                    22.5
calf                              18 1/2              16
weist                           45                    37 1/2
u. bust                        46 1/2              41 1/2
bust                            49                     44 1/2
stomach                    57                     49
hip                              52                     46
neck                           15                     13

I made it through. There were days where I really didn't think I would. Days I would cry alone in my bed, wondering if I made the right choice, wondering if I was really off my head for doing this to myself. BUT, I made it through. With every passing day I am getting stronger and thinner!!!

As of 9 weeks out, I have lost 47 pounds. That's what keeps me going.

I still have an opening in my incision and still have to deal with nurses every day poking at me, cleaning my wound, packing it and being stuck at home waiting for them to show up. They keep telling me it will get better but I've had this wound for 8 weeks!!! 

I am happy I had a DS and I know in my heart this was the right choice for me but at this point, if I had to do it over again, I don't know if I would. The pain, the complications, the lack of food. I just don't know. I'll probably think differently in a few weeks though :)

I am 47 pounds lighter and couldn't be happier!!! A TOTAL stranger noticed my weight loss today. A FedEx driver dropping off a package to me noticed I was a LOT thinner than I was 3 months ago. A small wow moment in a time of wonder :)

Well, tomorrow is my big day. I just got back from Dr. Lutrzykowski's office. I was told to lose 5 pounds before surgery and well, i gained 7 pounds (oopsie!!!) It was SUPER hard to quit smoking and lose the weight. Ah well, at least I'm still having surgery :)

I'm still not worried or freaked out. I'm still excited and happy. I'm still so gung ho on getting to the hospital in the morning and can't wait.

I had a dream about my mom on Saturday night. Made me feel like she was really with me. I drempt that she came into surgery with me (i mean REALLY WITH me). Anyway, in my dream she watched the surgery in the room with me and told me how good I did when I woke up.

This really makes me feel like I've made the right choice for me, no matter what anyone else thinks. My mom is with me and wouldn't allow me to do this if it wasn't right for me. Like I have said before, I would rather die than live this way any longer. This choice is right for me no matter what happens.

Well, this will probably be my lest blog post until after surgery and after I become a *real* loser!!! I'm still really excited and happy and still feel that I'm making the right choice for me. Even if the worst happened and I didn't make it through surgery (I'm NOT worried about that!!) I wouldn't change anything. When I started this journey, I knew that if I did not make this choice, I was going to die. No matter if it was at my own hand or the hands of obesity, I was going to die. This choice has given e back hope and the will to live. For that, I am so happy.

I say farewell to all of you and I will see you on the other side of the losers bench!!! I love you all and MANY thanks for your wonderful and loving support!!!!

Well, only 2 more weeks until surgery. My friend Patrick & I will arrive in MI on May 6th and get settled before my surgery on the 9th. I know this is right for me. SOOOOOO excited!!!

Well, I made it back from my trip to MI to see Dr. L. I ended up taking a taxi since I couldn't find any better way to get to his office from the airport. It was $61 there. On the way back, I guess the driver seeing me as a tourist took the LONG way and it was $85. I kinda grumped him out so he gave me the ride for $70 instead. I still wasn't impressed!

Dr. L was wonderful, soft spoken and supportive. I feel comfortable that I'm making the right choice. He made me feel safe, secure and in good hands :)

I was originally told I could have surgery at the end of April but I have tickets to Toronto FC (Soccer) season opener and I *really* want to go. I'm going to end up missing many of the matches at the begining of the season (season ticket holder lol!) because of surgery but I really wanted to be there for the 1st ever match in Toronto.

So, Julie, Dr. L's assistant  will call me next week with a date in May sometime. I'm REALLY excited!!!

I met a guy called George from Woodbridge (just outside Toronto) at Dr. L's office. He had surgery 6 months ago and has lost something like 120 lbs!! He was quite helpful and gave me his e-mail address in case i needed anything. 

It happened today. I got approval. I was so excited when Julie from Dr. L's office called, i really couldn't breathe. I kept telling her that over and over :) I couldn't believe something so good would happen to me!!!

My happiness was short lived though. Saw something really sad on tv tonight. A BBC documentary on women being killed in Guatamala. Made me really sad and realise it's better to be fat and in pain than murdered just because i was a woman. No one cared about these women and from 2001 to 2005, almost 2,000 women have been murdered in a small country. Most of them teenagers. My heart is with their families. So sad. Just needed to write about them, just so someone would think of them. So someone could keep their memories alive and so that they would know that they were loved even though i never met them.

Just wanted to share some of the things my friends have sent me since I told them about my WLS journey.  These are tidbits from some of the e-mails I got after sending out a booklet that Jen F helped me with.

You know I am here if you need me.  Hugs and kisses Vicky, Liz Tilly and Me  

You know we think you're cool no matter what but it's obviously something you're not taking lightly, so if you think there's anything we can do for you all the way over here just let us know. Anna

Wow!  You'll need to tell me the date of your surgery so I can get in a little extra, but I will pray for my "favourite witch".  :)  I think it's very brave what you're doing and I'm going to be praying that you have a wonderful result so that your pain can be eased and you can feel good about yourself.  You are a beautiful person and it IS important for you to believe it too.  I don't think what you're doing is crazy or radical (even though the surgery is very serious) but I think you're doing it for the best reason: to improve the quality of your life.  Good for you!!!  :) :) :) :)  Count me in the "pro Randy" group, k?  love, JennyB

Randy, I'm PROUD of you! I know your struggle both with pain and weight, and your control of both, and I know this is a step in the right direction for you. A coworker of mine that I have come to adore had this surgery done about 3 years ago. She has NO regrets and she looks and feels great!If you ever want to chit chat, call, email, whatever, I'm here for you :)Aggie

Thanks for the e-mail detailing the surgery.  You know I am behind you 100% and whatever you need me to do I will be there.  I think it is unfair of some of the things that people have said to you such as eat healthier or use the treadmill.  That is easy when you are not in constant pain all the time and where every step is a struggle.  My prayers and thoughts will be with you and you know if you need someone to keep you company or just to talk to I am only a phone call away.  If this is going to help alleviate the pain and suffering you are going through then by all means it needs to be done. Tanya

I can only wish you all the best and look forward to seeing the new you.  Nigel

Wow!  This is like skydiving!  You are informed, you will be prepared and then, don't look, JUMP with faith that you have made the right decision for yourself.  You have sufficient instinct and spiritual guardians that you would FEEL if it was the wrong choice.  I have great admiration for your ability to ask for help.  That's a great strength and your paragraph on food addiction totally hit home, especially now that I am living alone with no around to make me question myself.  So, walk into that hospital knowing you are taking charge of your problem and moving forward.  Staying in the same place only leads to more eating :) Deb

Hi Sweetie,
Wow! This is not an easy decision, and I know you must have taken a lot of time to make it. Operations are scary. And major surgery, such as this, is very scary. You have my complete support.  Terri

You are a very brave woman. I give kudos to you for that , for thinking this thru for writing this guide up for everyone thats special in my mind. Debbie 

Wow, congratulations - I've never heard of that particular surgery but it sure sounds like the one for you. You know I think you're gorgeous no matter what size you are but as someone who has watched you try your hardest with diets, have trouble with just plain walking and suffer with so much more pain than anyone should ever have to, I'm really looking forward to seeing you have a more comfortable life with this surgery. Wish I could be there to help you lift those 6-lb ferrets post-surgery, but do keep me updated on how it goes! Trish

Wow, that is a big decision.  I am so happy for you that you are excited about the surgery and hopefully it will help with your pain levels.  I had no idea that things had gotten that bad and certainly was not aware that weight was an issue for you.  I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met.  That said, I support you no matter what you do. Julie

 

hey babe, we were just watching a program last night about a girl who had this type of surgery in England (not sure if it was exactly the same but close to it). Tina and i will ofcourse be behind you (in a matter of speaking) i wish we could actually be there to help in person but cant as you know. :-( David & Tina

It sounds like a big step. I hope it all goes well and you start to feel alot better. You can come mountain biking with me in Vancouver!! Steve.

I got this tonight, made me feel real special. I didn't leave the person's name at the bottom of their PM as I'm not sure they would want anyone to know that it was them who said this but i needed to keep this, somewhere i could always see it. Made me feel good after the crap day i had today. THANKS to you know who you are :) :)

Hiya Randy, thanks for sending a pm. :) I just wanted to say that since you have started posting on OH I find your aura ( I don't know if u believe in that sorta thing, but I do) enlightening you seem to be a wonderful person, caring sweet, kind hearted and many many other things. For this reason alone I hope all your dreams come true ( and Ohip betta hurry up!) Ty Randy you are in my heart as well.

I posted this today on the Ontario Board

Ok, so I've been sitting here, worrying, freaking out, sweating, crying, panicking and feeling like crap about this whole OHIP thing. I can't sleep, can't breathe, can't think, can't relax - like many of you waiting for approval.

I finally break down and call Barb Hoult. No responce. I get my Psychologist to fax ANOTHER letter to OHIP in support of WLS. Nothing. I call Barb Hoult again - nothing.

I call my doctor's office this morning to see if anything has happened. No responce. I call again just now and the secretary (REALLY daft woman) asks if I'm calling about the letter from the Ministry? WHAT?! There was a letter from the Ministry???? How come no one told me? I ask. She replies with her usual "Idonknow" BS. So I ask her what the letter was about? Again, I get the "idonknow".

She does however tell me that she is faxing a report of some sort to OHIP along with a letter from my doc. I ask what it is and AGAIN, get "idonknow". Then she tells me that a sleep study was requested. I'm a little worried about that. I did one in 2005 (almost exactly 2 years ago) and am now worried I'll have to do another one before OHIP will look at this again!!!

What a pain in the arse!!!!!

Anyway, just needed to vent, this has been a really hard few weeks for me. I'm not good at waiting at all, especially once I've decided on something like this. I just want to cry. I'm feeling really deflated (and not in a weight loss way!!) Feeling so sad right now...

Thanks for letting me vent - you guys rock   

Then, later in the day...

Thanks so much ladies! I don't know what I would do without all of you. I'm a little calmer now but pretty pissed at my doctor's office. I tried calling again before they closed and was told the peoson I needed to speak with was gone. I nearly lost it!!!

Anyway, IF I don't hear from them tomorrow, I'm going to go over there on Thursday and camp out  
 

MUCH later in the day, I called my psychologist in tears. She says she'll fax a letter to my doc's office telling them they are making me go mad. I really like her!!!!!