Randy B.

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Wow. It's been a WHOLE 10 days since I quit smoking. I'm real proud of me right now. I went out at the weekend and did a little drinking with some friends and STILL didn't smoke!!! I impressed myself and just showed me how important my WLS journey is to me.

It's been tough, one of my good friends isn't supportive at all. She's really hurt my feelings. She's a super fit, never been a pound overweight in her life kind of person and she just doesn't get it. I can't have people liek that around me right now so I'm chosing to avoid her right now and surround myself with people that are loving and supportive. That's what we all need in our lives, especially during a journey like we are taking.

Well, I over reacted :) I chatted with Dr. L's office and even if i had osteoporosis, I would still be able to get surgery.

Went for a bone density scan yesterday. My spine is great but in my right hip i have pre osteo. Not sure what that means but I will have to go see my PCP and find out.

I couldn't sleep, I'm worried about something. It could be that i just quit smoking and the anxiety that goes along with it but i realized something as I was laying in bed, trying to get back to sleep. 

I had something called Endometriosis since i was about 14. Had multiple surgeries to try to fix, then settled on Depo Provera treatments more than 7 years ago. It's come out that Depo Provera can cause osteoporosis. Along with quitting smoking to prepair for this surgery (if approved), I also went off Depo Provera in December. What if I've gone through the insurance application stuff, have my hopes up and get my bone scan and I already have osteoporosis? Does that mean I'll be stuck in my fat body forever? No surgery for me? No hope for a normal future?

I'm really worried/upset at the thought of this. I realize every surgeon is different in their views and I believe I have chosen a great surgeon in Dr. Lutrzykowski and will be devostated if my journey ends before it even begins.

I think i'll call Dr. L's office today when they open. I'm feeling sick in my stomach - don't think i can go on this way if i can't have surgery...

I quit smoking 60 hours and 20 minutes ago. Hardest thing i have had to do in a long time but i'm keeping my eye on the prize!!!

Someone died today. She had a revision from RNY to DS (I believe). I can't tell my friends about that even though it was a revision. Makes me scared to go under the blade but I have to do this. It's the only way I will get my life back. I would rather be dead than live this life anyway.

Sent in Ohip forms on Monday. Keeping fingers and toes crossed this will be a good journey for me. I'm glad my friends are supportive and wonderful. Now, need to quit smoking!!!