Flor_Bellas

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Hello everyone, sorry I've been away for a while, but I've just been really taking it easy and resting and dealing with the pain.  I had such a hard time with the pain because the pain mostly came from the area where my port used to be.  My port was embedded inside my abdominal muscle and Dr. Gagner had to dig deep to get that sucker out.  So yeah...ouch.

Here's an update of what's been going on.

This past Monday I went to see my primary doctor (Dr. Ross), and he found I had a urinary tract infection, probably brought on by the foley, so I'm on a round of liquid antibiotics for that and doing nicely.  I have to say once again that Dr. Ross is one amazing doctor.  I was in pain up to the moment he came in to see me.  I forget what his specialty is at the moment, I know it begins with an O, anyways, he uses his hands as well as other instruments to diagnose patients.  He came in, looked at Dr. Gagner's handiwork, put his hands on my tummy and poked here and there, gave me wonderful verbal support and I started to relax.  He reminded me that this procedure had to be done and that it was for my health.  All the while hubby was with me concerned as can be because the trip to Dr. Ross' office was painful to say the least.  I felt EVERY bump on the road.  Left Dr. Ross' feeling better and have just been getting better since.  I literally can tell that my turning point was during my consultation for the pain just got better.  Dr. Ross asked me to return today because he wanted to ensure the infection was subsiding and just stay on top of things.

Well, today I saw him and he saw that I've been doing so well with my vitals that he's reduced both my hypertension medication dosage by half!!!  Dr. Ross said he couldn't stop me cold turkey because since they're beta blockers I have to be weaned off of them but that I would very soon be taking only one and eventually none.  YIPPEEEE!!!  My blood sugar has also been normal without insulin so he agrees with Dr. Gagner that I will not take them anymore.  Now that is what I loved hearing.  I wanted my diabetes to be gone more than anything, including losing weight...which bears mentioning.  Ahem.....

On the eve of my 2 week surgiversary I have the honor to announce I've lost a total of 18 pounds!!!!!  Yay!!!!  Come on, dance for me for I still can't break into dance yet.  I've lost so much in so little time!!!  Gone!  Forever!!!  Yippeeeeeeeee!!!  My clothes are feeling so much loser, I think I've lost a dress size and am coming up on a second for I have been told many times that 10 pounds is the equivalent of one dress size.  It also bears mentioning that I believe I would have lost more had it not been for Aunt Flow who decided to pay a visit yesterday.  My wedding rings are a bit tight for I'm a little bloated.  I normally gain 8 pounds of water just before Mr. Ugly time so I am interested in knowing what the scale is going to read next week when I go see Dr. Ross for another follow-up and Dr. Gagner for my 3 week post-op follow-up.

I'm going to start driving this weekend because I'm already able to be more flexible.  I can turn around as I'm sitting so I think driving will be fine.  I haven't driven till now because it did not seem safe since I was in so much pain and had very little mobility that hubby had to bathe me for it hurt too much to reach any spot.  Since yesterday I'm able to bathe myself.  Lovely.  I love the fact that James has helped me with everything, but nothing beats being able to perform basic hygiene on yourself.  That was something huge for me because since the hospital stay I use to say that I paid $18,000 to lose all my dignity.  I had nurses and hubby either sponge bathe me or wipe me after bathroom trips for I truly couldn't reach due to the pain.  Don't get me wrong, I'd do it all again in a heart beat but it's nice to get some independence back.  I'm able to walk around the whole block now so that is very amazing to me.  Oh, and guess what?  I didn't feel back pain until I got two houses away and it was mild at that!!!!  Oh man, talk about a change!!!  I couldn't walk from my door to the sidewalk in front of my house before feeling intense pain and needing to sit down.  Can't wait to go back to work to see how I do because I would put off going to the restroom becasue of the distance of the bathroom to my office.  I actually miss going to work but am going to take one more week off to totally figure out meals & bathroom issues.

I'm able to eat more instead of just drinking my meals.  Albeit very small meals but its working, I'm still in the soft food stage as well.  I can eat almost a whole egg now.  I'm also able to swallow pills now and don't need to crush my meds anymore.  Oh, and I so don't need that much pain (Percocet) medication either!!!  I'm now down to 4 per day!  One when I first wake up in the morning, one sometime in early afternoon and two at bedtime.  Now I see clearly how foolish it was to cut back so much on the pain meds when I so needed it in the beginning.  But in my defense I was afraid of a couple of things.  One was I didn't want to appear like I was abusing it because I ran out of meds twice.  Second, I was afraid of depending on them becasue I was ingesting a lot of narcotics.  Granted I know I needed them, but I truly did not want to risk getting hooked on the heavy stuff.  I mean, stupid Morphine did nothing for me when I got out of surgery, not even make me loopy.  It took Dilaudin and man I was getting that stuff every two hours and it started to give my hands jerky tremors.  Anyway, that's behind me now.  I'm feeling better everyday and slowly getting used to my new life.  And you know what?  I'm beginning to LOVE my DS!!!

So there you have it.  I hope I covered it all...and then some.  He, he, he!

Sweet mother of God!  What a relief!  Yes, I've been doing all everyone has suggested since day one, and finally tonight, before going to bed the winds of change were in my favor.

LOL!  I can honestly say it was a combination of everything...GasX, walking, laying on my left, etc.  I kept remembering one of the nurses that said not to worry about "forcing" the issue, that once I passed the first one I may need a seat belt cause I will be jet propelled down the hospital isle during my shuffles (walk).  Lordy, it didn't happen until I got home but I can assure you my giddyup got a spring to it for suddenly I was walking swifter as my body shamelessly reacted to the "lighter" feeling...literraly.  Never has breaking wind brought sugh sweet relief and a heavenly smile to my face.  DH had at one point mentioned to my son that being behind me might not be too safe, but I assure the world, at the moment there is no aroma acompanying the jet propulsion...just sweet relief.  Although I am not done with this yet, at least it's a sign to me that my new plumbing is working!

I just took a Percocet at 3:30a.m. and its kicking in nbow....yawn!  Nite, nite.

Hi everyone.  I was discharged earlier today and got home around 1PM after picking up my pain meds and Nexium at CVS.  Not really having much energy to post much...mostly resting .

Just wanted to let you all know I'm home and taking my pain meds every 4 hours.  The pain is horrible when the full effect of the previous dose is out of my system, and tolerable when I am medicated...enough that I can sleep and rest.  I'm also dealing with the mother of all gas pains.  But it's nothing compared to the pain from the surgery.  I'm lucid enough to tell the difference.  I keep reminding myself that the pain is only going to be a memory and that I will soon forget it...but right now its hard to remember that.  It's so awful that I feel I need to name my gas bubble just to convice it to come out!  I'm walking a lot in order to move things along...but nothing.  Stubborn gas.

That's all for now.  Please keep me in your prayers or positive vibes to overcome these two pains...the gas and the other.

I'm loopy now but somewhat lucid.  The pain is from the removal of the adhesions and Dr. G having to go deeper into my abdomen to remove the port.  He says he normally would have left it in, especially when they are so imbedded like mine was.  However, I'd rather deal withthis pain NOW and have nothing to do with the Band ever again.

Thank you for for your support and words of comfort.  Like Red said, I may be leaving Monday.  Seems we've figured out a system here to control the pain.  Dilaudin during the day every two hours and Percocet at night, crushed and mixed with the Jello (yuck) at night to sleep a bit longer.  We're working on it....more to come...

I've made it to the Dark Side

I just wanted to follow Anna's lead and post on surgery date.  I'm loopy so I don't know how much sense I can make.

when I came to they literally had to PEAL me from the ceiling.  Turns out I have sleep apnea and they couldn't give me Dilaudin right away.  Morphine is a joke and yes, the pain is from the adhesions.  But finally they geve me Dilaudin about 3pm and it has all been pretty much managable now.  My pain level is on the lower side...you don't need to peal me from the celing any longer.  I'm loopy so pardon if I don't make sense.

I've already done the Mt. Sinai shuffle to the nurses' statoion (right outside my door) and back with the help of DH, DS & nurse before I got dizzy and needed another shot of Dilaudin.  I'm dryer than a popcorn fart and the cotton swabs aren't doing it.  Oh well, there is always tomorrow.

OK, I'm leaving for I am about to pass out...Dilaudin is at work.  Thanks ya'll!!!

P.S. Red you've been an amazing angel.

Tonight I got home from work and hubby asked me if I decided yet where I want to go have my last supper.  I replied that I didn't know but that it had to be a place where I could at least have a glass of wine with my meal because I am so uptight and nervous I needed to unwind.  Well, we got to talking about the upcoming days.

Well...let me backtrack to a couple of years ago when we both were dealing with our mothers dying and all the hospital stays involved.  Needless to say, DH has an aversion to hospitals.  Fast forward to today, it's two days before my surgery day and I am bit nervous about such a drastic change in my life and facing it alone.  I've wondered off and on how long DH would last in the hospital before cracking under the pressure.  I did not want to ask him to stay overnight KNOWING how he truly feels about the hospital environment.  Well, here we were talking about wine and that I am going to be OK and he mentions if I understand that he's going to be spending time in a recliner in the hospital until he's sure I'm OK.  To this I burst out crying and thanked him.  Told him I didn't want to ask him to stay but that I am SO relieved he is because I know he'll look out for me.  He was surprised that I thought he wouldn't do that.  He said he's got feelings about it yes, but they are just feelings and that I in turn am going to be IN a hospital and he's NOT about to leave me alone in my hour of need.  Wow.  I'm just relieved.  And I feel blessed.  After I cried and blubbered all over the place I kissed and hugged him.  Afterwards, we had a nice dinner at Applebee's in Homestead (mostly populated by Mexicans) where I had the Nachos Nuevos and a mango/strawberry Margarita to kiss my Mexican band goodbye!  (I got my band in Mexico 3 years ago, remember?).  Funny thing?  I didn't plan it that way.  I made the observation to DH soon after I started eating and drinking and figured I was coming full circle with the Mexican theme.  Am I reading too much into it?  Who knows?  Who cares.  Now we start the exciting part!  A day full of clear liquids.  Thank God I do not have to do any bowel preps...that would be a pain in the ass (pun intended).

Got my package today from Vitalady for the DS package & I ordered some samples of the Banana Scream that Lori & the rest of you rave about.  I had also ordered all the flavors in sample size so that when I'm back home from the hospital I can taste them and see which ones the taste buds take to.  I noticed in Lori's recent thread how much her energy has changed and how she loves the chocolate one now.  I admit...I'm a chocoholic, but I want to try them all post op just in case.  I gotta tell you though, I felt like a kid opening up Christmas presents cause everything I ordered wsa there and THEN some.

Michelle is so awesome.  I don't know if she does this for eveybody, but it touched my heart to open the package and see not only my order, tons of samples that I didn't even order and a single silk rose.  That was just SO freaking sweet.  I have spent a few night chatting with her and getting to know her and now I just trust her judgment due to how many happy customers she has & that fact that she makes sense when she explains it to me in layman terms, so I've put myself in her hands and told her that i wanted everything I will need to get me through the next couple of months but in chewable format just so that I do not have trouble swallowing.  I may not have trouble swallowing at all, but I don't want to risk it and want all the nutrition I can absorb from the get go.  Since things have been challenging for me to get to this point, I didn't want the challenge of swallowing pills to get in the way of taking my vits...I'm determined to get ALL my vits and such in my new tummy from the start.  If I can't swallow or eat much, at least I can sip, sip, sip. 

I expect to maybe lose some hair, but not in globs from being neglectful or not being able to swallow pills due to having a tummy that refuses to allow much room for anything.  I figure if I can chew those suckers from the beginning I can then later on switch to pills, but did not want to even have a SMALL risk of being uncompliant cause I couldn't swallow pills and therefore become malnurished.  Know what I mean.? I am so DETERMINED (dang it) to rock this DS like no-one in Miami has...it's going to be a Cuban-American rocked DS, the likes NEVER before seen in Miami...He,he,he.  Move over Victoria Secrets...you have a new model in the works...LOLOLOLOL!!!

All joking aside.  I cannot wait to try all these new samples Michelle sent me.  When I opened the box and saw the plastic little bags of the protein shakes samples and other things...aw man!  The aroma was sooo delish!!!  I wanted to start trying them NOW.  But I will hold off, because it does me no good to buy something I love now and after surgery find that my tastebuds skipped town on me post op and left me with a tub of yucky tasting stuff that will make my newly banana shaped tummy wanting to regurgitate.  NOT an option.  I may sound anal to some, but dang it, I want to make this work!

What can I say...love Vitalady and feel blessed she is in our forum.  Scotty, thanks for bringing her over.

Can you believe it?  Three days and counting!!!!!!

Oh boy...it's getting more REAL as the days get closer.  I had my pre-ops testing and vitamin levels done on my blood today.  Dr. Ross, my primary did another x-ray as well, even though one was done a couple of months ago, he wanted to make sure all was well for tracheal entubation (sp?).  Dr. Ross said I had the clearest lungs he's EVER seen...I must have never smoked in my life.  I said, uh, yeah I did.  He was surprised!  He said I must've been a very light smoker because my lungs are squeeky clean.  Yes, I was a light smoker quite a few years ago. 

I took this as a message from beyond.  Call me crazy or whatever, but I am still connected to my darling mother since she passed away.  For some reason I had been thinking weird thoughts of mortality.  I would get these morbid thoughts that I would not make it through surgery because of breathing issues or something with my lungs...don't know why really, just that I have been concerned about being under for so many hours and would my lungs be able to handle it.  And considering my beloved mother died from lung-cancer, this was a clear message to me not to worry.  My mom had a way of calming me in her no non-sense way.  She was deaf-mute and would tell me in sign language to stop that shit and at others she would nurture me into calming down.  No matter what mom's method was that day, it always worked.  So getting this message from Dr. Ross that my lungs were as clear as person who NEVER smoked was to me, mom's way of telling me, stop that shit, you'll do fine.  Then I come home tonight and came across one of her funeral memorial cards.  Trust me, all her funeral stuff has been put away for quite a few months and I come across this memorial card exactly 7 days before my surgery.  My mom's favorite number was 7 because it was the day of her birthday and she died on her birthday.  I cried so hard when I read the poem because it was mom from beyond nurturing me as well.  It's the poem that talks about do not grieve for me but go on and live...trust me, it's a beautiful poem.  At the very end it says and never, ever be afraid to die for I will be in Heaven waiting for you.  So after a good cry and a talk with my hubby about what I had been feeling I'm no longer afraid.  I've done my job well of getting as healthy as I possibly could to undergo this surgery.  I'm nervous?  Yes.  Am I scared?  Not anymore.

Lock and loaded baby!

Went in to Dr. Gagner's office and Iliana walked me over to the Welcome Center.  It was a bit of a walk, so my back felt twinges...still not totally recovered on that but am able to walk greater distances again...mental note that I should be fine for the Mt. Sinai shuffle soon after surgery.  Sat down while she got the person who was to take care of me.  And I'm swept right in before everyone else waiting in the lobby.  My first thought?  "Strange how differently they treat someone who is Self-Pay in that respect"...I didn't think it was fair to the others, but then I come to see that these ladies take care of ONLY Self-Pay and they don't normally have many of those, so we get in and out kinda faster.  Chalk that one up to wrong first impression or me being too quick to judge...I'm sorry, honest human flaw.  Sigh. I keep praying God will remove that jaded outlook I sometimes have of human nature.

Anyway, as I'm getting ready to sign these checks to pay, my hubby calls on the phone, and I'm like..."uh, honey, let me call you back I'm in the middle of writing these checks".  Do you know what that man said to me?  LOL!  Gotta love him for that.  He's like, "Baby, can you put the phone close to the pen so I can hear what the pen scratching the check for $18,000 sounds like?"   LOL!!!!  Even the lady heard it and started laughing.  But I'll admit to this...

It was VERY empowering to sit there and write a check for a huge amount of moola that I know is going towards MY health!  I've never in my life written a check in this amount.  If you know anything about me, you know that I am from extremely humble beginnings and I could NEVER be a snob.  I'm not rich, but I'm not poor either, but by God's blessings, I have reached a place in my life that God has truly blessed me with the opportunity to use the equity of my house to pay for my new life.  Anyways...As I was writing out the check I had a smile on my face and Iliana & the lady knew what I was feeling for I was tearing up.  They asked me if I was OK?  I said yes.  Then they asked me if this was making it feel REAL...and I said YES!!!  It FINALLY feels more real than ever before.

Everyone in Dr. Gagner's office has been with me from the very beginning...I guess since I live in the same city I've had the opportunities of seeing them more often and getting to know them at a deeper level.  Hell, they may be coming to my graduation party, that's how close they have become.  They've been invited.  Everytime I go, Julie, Iliana, Genevieve & the others just talk to me like a friend, and not a patient in a chop shop.

So today again I feel calm.  I feel ready...like I said...LOCK AND LOADED!!!  Lock and Loaded Baby.  Ooooooh, what a ride this has been thus far...I know the roller coaster has not even begun!

Well, today actually since its already past midnite in the East coast.  Spoke to Iliana this morning and asked her if I had to bring a Cashier's check or personal check cause its a LOT of moola, know what I mean?

She spoke to someone in admissions and was told I needed to come by before to pay, but not to make out the check yet because it's actually $17,000 for the hospital and $1,000 for the anesthesiologist and she didn't know who the anesthesiologist was.  It kinda makes sense.  It's a lot of money so I'm sure the hospital wants to make sure the check will clear.

Anywho, just thought I'd let you know what the deal is with self-pay with Dr. Gagner's office.  I wonder if anyone else that was self-pay with him had to do the same.

On another note, the surgeon I originally was going to use, Dr. De La Cruz-Munoz's office called me today.  I could literally HEAR Melissa's jaw drop when I told her I decided to go with Dr. Gagner.  Her voice got icy and she said, yes, we DO know who he is.  It's a totally different procedure.  I said yes it is...AND Dr. Gagner is a a specialist when it comes to revision, so I don't think I will be needing your services.  Click.  LOL!

Anyway...all is well in Tinkerbell land...I'm still calm, no more freak attacks yet.  Hopefully I will stay this way.