Am I ready for this..?

Aug 12, 2011

OK so my pre-op apt is next Friday!!! Ive been trying to as much weight now as possible but I'm guessing with the 2week liquid diet it sure till help lose more. Ive been doing OK with going to the gym its just been hard cause I take care of my daughter all day then Ive been picking up 3-11p shifts as much as possible. cause I don't think I get paid for my leave cause I am not full time. plus Ive just been under alot of stress right now. I just wanna get my new life started.

 well my personal life life has been a little crazy. McKenzie's dad and I have not been together in a  while. and I just got to the point where I opened my eyes and said enough is enough.  I just have this funny feeling that after my surgery and I start to loose the weight is he gonna wanna be in our lives again. and that something I don't want. some one who wants me for the way I look and not the real person I am inside. in the meanwhile, I have been talking to an old friend from school. and he is an amazing person.  I thought we where just being friends and hanging out and talking about our bullshit. but something weird happened last night  he  made it known that he really likes me.  and while we were hanging out he asked me what do I want. I was really honest and told him that I'm not sure what I went.  tho personally I really wasn't looking for someone till after my surgery and lost the weight. I did tell him about the surgery and he is supportive. but it is nice to know that he likes me for me. ( side note: Ive known this guy liked me for years,). so I'm just not sure on what to take of this. and what i should do. In my head I just wanna run cause Ive learned to become so guarded and I don't wanna be that cold hearted bitch tho.  i guess Ill have stick around and see where it goes from here.

So how are you guys doing?? I hope all is well!

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