Mental Breakdown!!

Aug 26, 2011

OK I think today I just had a mental breakdown.  I am such a baby today. all I feel like I can do is cry and cry and cry more because I am so pissed off, so angry. and I don't know why. everything is getting to me. I have been on my liquid diet since Monday. and Ive been loosing about a pound a day.  I do feel weak,  I have a head ache. and I just wanna be left alone in my room all day. but I cant do that. I am a mom. I have to be their for my girl. really doesn't help that she is teething right now again. today I kept asking myself is this the right time to have this surgery??  am I doing the right thing. but I know this is the only thing that will work for me. I do want this. I wanna be a better mom for McKenzie and I wanna be healthy and  enjoy life with her. she is my world!

Lately I have had McKenzie's dad  on my case, I have been with him for years but the past 1- 1 1/2yrs  we have not been together. we broke up when  while i was pregnant. and I have wanted us to be a family. but he kept telling me  i don't know and stuff. so I just woke up and realized that he is not what I want. so for the past month he has been pressuring me to be with him. and I just told him I need space. now he is free to see our daughter when ever he wants. but when he comes its back over to see her he is like  " baby I miss you and blah blah"! there is alot more to this story. but I don't understand why don't he get the fact I need space and I just wanna get this surgery done and over with and have no problems!

My diet so far is going good. I am stronger person then I thought I was. I am OK with the liquid diet until, my family comes home and makes dinner.  I just hope I can make it Thu another week!!!

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