heiisditch
I am a mother of two, currently full-time mom. Trying to lose weight gained over course of 10 years untreated hypothyroidism to keep from ending up like so many in my family with diabetes and other weight-related problems.
12/20/02 Well, I went to the seminar about obesity surgery at Centennial on Wednesday. It went well. I have done so much research, though, that there was no new information there for me. It was nice to see someone 4 1/2 years post-op, and hear her story (Dr.'s Dyer and Olsen's nurse). I have decided that I want to meet with Dr. Vanderpool. I have heard a lot of positive feedback on him, and spoken with his office and they seem really nice, we will see how I feel about him when I meet him. I faxed all my info in for the pre-approval stage -- wish me luck! The only thing I dislike about this process is that these guys require a full psychiatric evaluation, including the MMPI-2 and the fee is out-of-pocket for it, as they only accept it from one facility. No biggee, just seems odd to me to have to go through such a lengthy process and still not get a diagnosis out of the deal
At any rate, the day draws nearer. I am trying to get everything in order for the surgery. Enough time off from work, in case of complications, etc. So far, I am very lucky -- everyone is very supportive of me. Especially my family, they all know how hard all this weight gain has been on me, and just want me to be healthy and happy. In fact, there is only one person in my life who doesn't seem very supportive. My so-called "best friend".
It's sad, really -- I mean, she and I have been good friends for like 7 years now, but she has always been the "skinny" one. Ever since I have been talking about getting this surgery, she has become more and more catty, distant, hateful and arrogant. Whenever I mention the surgery, she says things like "you know, 1 in 200 people die from that surgery, don't you?" I usually reply "yeh, and while that is only a .5 % chance, that number is probably low-balled, odds are probably higher than that" I know, probably not funny to most people, but true, nonetheless. I mean, I know what her problem is -- it's actually a number of things: first, she has expressed her jealousy of me many times over the years (I have a great job, a loving SO, & 2 great kids, and just bought a lovely house for a great price). Second, I am much prettier than she, even if I am fat -- I hate saying that, it sounds so typical -- but it is true. She is cute, don't get me wrong, but that's just it, she's "cute", while I have what most people describe as "classic beauty" -- I look like someone who just stepped out of a 1940's movie -- been compared to Vivian Leigh my whole life. Third, she knows I used to be very skinny and and in awesome shape -- used to work out 2 - 3 hours/day & the only reason I'm not in shape now is because of the hypothyroidism. I spent years getting angry and frustrated with myself trying to lose weight -- doctors would just say "you just need to eat less and exercise more" and would not check my thyroid or try to determine why I was steadily putting on weight no matter what I did or didn't eat. (This is why I love my PCP now so much, he listened, and checked, and diagnosed and treated my problem & I haven't gained a pound in the last 6 months, which is a huge accomplishment from the steady 2 - 3 pounds I was putting on per month before that!) I know this friendship will end as soon as, if not before, I start dropping the weight. In a way, I am sad, because it just proves what I've thought for several years now -- that she is not a true friend -- but then again, it is a relief knowing that I will be leaving her baggage behind me, along with all the excess weight.
Well, I've babbled long enough. Update as soon as I have any news.
12/3/02 Ok, now I am set up to go to the seminar on obesity that is required by Dr. Dyer and several other docs in Nashville. I am going on 12/18/02, in the evening. It is just up the street from where I work, so I will just go there straight from work. I spoke with my insurance, though and there is a slight snag. Seems my employer just recently has changed our insurance slightly, to cut costs. I am not mad, but it is disappointing that they decided to exclude WLS specifically. I was quite upset, but still calm enough to ask about my secondary insurance (which is also through the UHC, just a different plan -- through Dell, where my fiance works). Guess what?? They cover it!! She said that the policy states that WLS is covered fro treatment of "morbid obesity" and doesn't even require any co-morbs. Not that I don't have any, if they change their minds! YAY!! She said I should just file through the secondary, since it covers the surgery.
I will be faxing them the letter from my PCP and my own letter tomorrow, and then of course will be going to the seminar on the 18th. Wish me luck!
3/6/03 Oh, I hate bad updates. Where do I start? Got stabbed in the back by the skinny "best friend" who never supported my decision to try for a healthier life. She had begged me for months to hire her for a data entry position. Against my better judgement, I hired her in November, she got me fired in January. It was slander, pure and simple -- hence, I am now receiving unemployment, as my ex-company could not prove misconduct on my part. No big deal, though -- I used my income tax refund to pay my house payment a few months in advance, so am in good shape. Also have been offered a job that starts March 24.
I still haven't heard from the insurance or the surgeon's office about the surgery. Losing my job in January meant they had to redirect the request to my secondary insurance (which is the one that covers the surgery anyway, since my lovely ex-employer re-negotiated their insurance coverage when I said I was trying to get the WLS and made an employer exclusion to it part of the deal a$$hole$). I know the request was received on 2-6, but nothing else. I am getting really annoyed with the surgeon's office as they really seem to be dragging their heels with me. I called them on 1-10 to tell them to send it to the other insurance, and it took almost a month for them to do so???? Anyway.
The really crappy part of all this, though, is that if I take the job offered to me (which I need to, as we do need the money), there is an 8 week training/probationary period during which I cannot miss a day -- which puts my surgery options off for at least another 2 months. Not to mention building up enough vacation time to have the surgery. *sigh* By my calculations, it will be August before I could even think of getting the surgery unless the company has a loophole that I could use for taking a medical leave. I am very frustrated right now -- I was hoping I would get news of approval in time to get the psyche eval and consultation over with -- so I could have a surgery date to tell a future employer. That way, they would know before they hired me that I would be out on certain dates and could base their decision on that. sheesh....
Anyway, 3-16-03 looms ahead, and I hope everyday that nothing happens that day. I read today that there is a planned invasion of Iraq on 3-17. What will Bush do to justify his blood/oil lust? I and mine will be at home, together on that day, and I hope with all that I am that I am totally wrong, and that nothing whatsoever happens that day. I said it when the other bush was in the white house, and I'll say it again, blood is NOT exchangeable for oil!
2-21-05 Wow...it has been a while since my last update. Well, turns out I was off by 2 days. My father passed away 3-14-03. It was completely unexpected to all of us. I spoke with him early in the evening as I had been asked to go for an interview the next day and needed a babysitter. He said he wasn't feeling well, but to call in the morning and he would be happy to babysit. Sheesh. This is dredging up some pain...anyways, he called later that night to say he needed a ride to the hospital. By the time I got there, he had gone downhill pretty bad. By the time the ambulance got there, he was really bad off and at the ER they basically told me to kiss him goodbye. He had had a massive aortic embolism rupture. He pretty much was bleeding to death. They life-flighted him to another hospital and he died there. We had to get the red cross involved to get my brother out of Kuwait and it was just really surreal. Not a good time. We finally closed out his estate (no will) a few months ago -- and of course, with much fighting from my sister who thinks she should have gotten all money from the sale of his property even though she only called him like 4 times in the last year he was alive. Sigh...that's over.
Needless to say my search for health took a backseat to just trying to make ends meet. I thought I had finally gotten somewhere with Sprint, but their insurance did not cover the surgery *at all* unless you go through like 6 months of dietary counseling. Of course, by the time I was almost through that hoop, our call center got sold to another company and we lost our insurance.
I finally gave in to my long-time fiance' on leap year day last year and am covered by his insurance. They claim that all I have to have for approval is "a diagnosis of morbid obesity" -- and boy, do I have that!!! Well, I found that the doctors that have the best reputation and have been doing this the longest in this area are not in my insurance, so I checked out the second choice -- Dr. Agbunag.
Where do I begin? He is a jerk. He was very short with me. He didn't seem interested in answering my questions, wanted me to go through more nutritional counseling -- even though it is not required by my insurance -- as well as a lot of other things not required by my insurance, and interrupted our consultation to take a call from a patient. That call, to which I was privvy, was my deciding factor in not allowing him the honor of being my doctor. The patient apparently was having some trouble with a drain tube having come out of their wound. Agbunag basically told them "tough s#&t" and that they were just going to have to deal with the infection that would set in. This is not the sort of answer I want to hear from a doctor performing major surgury on me!!
And so the search continues. I spoke with my insurance and checked the listings on this site and found a couple of doctors in Dickson -- about 200 miles round-trip -- who are covered. Unfortunately, I have to start from square one with them, but I don't mind, because I may finally have good news. I went to their seminar on Thursday. We recently moved to the country where our cellphones don't pick up and if I don't run errands, then I don't check my VM. Well, sure enough I ran some errands today and there was a message. The girl from this new practice had called me on Friday to let me know that she had just gotten off the phone with my insurance and she thinks she can get me approval pretty quickly. I had to pull over (I was driving when I heard the message) because I started crying so hard. I just felt this huge weight lift off of me, literally. Well, since today was President's Day, she wasn't in the office, so I left her a message to call me on my home phone. Her message said she wanted me to call so she could give me directions on how to get ready for the surgery!
I'm not religious, and I don't pray, but right now, I am praying to every god, goddess and anything else that she is right and that I can finally get this surgery. It is to the point for me that I can feel my time slipping away. I know that if I don't get this surgery soon, then my health will degenerate even worse. I have put on 90 pounds in 2 years. No matter what I try, nothing helps.
3/9/05 Today has been a wonderful day!! I just spoke to my insurance company. I got a little antsy, since it has been several weeks since Marcia (at Dr.'s office) spoke with the insurance people. I had to go through a couple of people, but when I finally got a care coordinator on the phone, she said the letters had been mailed out on Feb. 24th giving me APPROVAL!!! Hahaha, I wonder how many other people expressed their undying love for her today, because I sure did!
I called and left Marcia a voicemail, and she called on my cellphone (which doesn't pick up at home), and left me a message saying that she was sorry she hadn't called me yet, that she had moved my file to the "approved" pile and gotten too busy to call me right away. My next move is to make an appointment with the doctor for my consultation. YAY!!!
3/19/05 Ok, so I have slacked on the updates. Forgive me. I went to my consult and everything went fine, except the surgeon said something about "maybe" having me re-do my psych eval. He made it sound like it was more because it was a year old than anything else. Come to find out there was actually something said in it that made the surgeon anxious. His nurse called to tell me this and that I would have to go see their psychiatrist, who does not file insurance and would cost $220. Well, since I am not working and hubby is on temporary lay-off, there is just no way to justify that kind of expense. I asked if I could go back to the same place that did the eval first, since they do file insurance, but the nurse said no. I said I would have to hold off then until we got more income flow. It almost sent me into some serious depression, since I have worked so long and so hard for this.
Yesterday, while I was running some errands, my hubby called to say the surgeon's office had called the house and would be calling me. Sure enough, Marcia called. She said that they (the surgeon's team and she) had been discussing me and Dr. Huerta had decided to just call the guy who did my psych eval and see what the problem was -- hear it from the horse's mouth as it were. The doctor said he thought that I would be at risk of depression due to having had it in the past, but said he was comfortable with me having the surgery if I agreed to be monitored more closely. Well, sheesh, of course I agree to that! First of all, if I do start having depression, I want it straightened out quickly, so as to not risk screwing up my weight loss and health, and second of all -- who in their right mind wants to be depressed?? LOL. So, I have a date!!!!! I go next Thursday (3/24/05) for my education day -- where I will meet with the nurse, the dietician and the physical therapist. I will get all my manuals and also the surgeon will do my endoscope. Then, I will have pre-op meeting with surgeon, anesthesiologist, nursing staff, etc and blood work on 4/14/05 and surgery on 4/18/05!!! YAY ME!!
It's so funny that I have worked towards this goal for so long and now that it is going to happen, I am a bit nervous. I will be fine, though. All my family and friends are so happy for me!
I am going to set a goal for myself of 150 lbs -- that's a huge loss (181 lbs), but I know I can do it! Of course, I am not as worried about the weight as I am about just being healthy!
4-13-05 Today was my final pre-op stuff. I am now good to go. I have to be at the hospital Monday morning at 6 am, my surgery is scheduled for 8 am. There is a slight chance of me needing to be converted to open, but Dr. Huerta did not seem to think it should be an issue, just mentioned it to prepare me. I plan on being his star patient. Wish me luck!!! Oh, and I have lost a total of 6 lbs pre-op -- that is not much, but it is actually the first time in over 2 years that the scales have gone down instead of up -- I am sure it is just nerves, but hey...I don't mind!
4-18-2005 this is Joanna's husband, Tim, posting. Joanna spent 4 and 1/2 hours in surgery this morning, along with 3 hours in recovery. She then was brought to her room ( I was waiting for her ) to begin the healing process. Within 3 hours Joanna walked appx. 100 feet down the hall. She is queasy and hurting, but doing quite well. She should be home Thursday.
(the following few entries were done after the fact)4/18/05 OK. Today is the day. Of course, my loving husband had to work last night, so we got off to a late start. Arrived at the hospital 30 minutes late, but they weren't worried.
Once in my room, I had to strip down and put on my gown. These things are a definite fashion statement -- for the mentally insane! I got settled into the bed and answered the same old questions they have asked during every pre-op procedure (have I fallen? am I sick? do I have any allergies? etc.) Once that was done, my nurse put some compression hose on my legs and these really neat cuffs that pump up with air on each leg alternately to keep the blood circulating. They felt great, I swear, someday when I win the lottery, I'm gonna buy some of those!
Then, I get an IV put in my hand. I don't like IV's in my hands, they always hurt, but so many nurses insist on doing them that way....They tell me that I will probably have another IV put in once I am sedated, and not to worry, it is just a precaution. After that, a respiratory tech came in and gave me a breathing treatment. It was the first time I had ever had one of those and I got a little light-headed, but it was cool.
Now, I am being wheeled into surgery. Of course, I am thinking of my two wonderful children and how much I want to make sure I see them again, so I am bawling like a moron. My surgeon's nurse, Marcia, is comforting me and telling me it will all be alright, and I just have to trust her. When we get into the operating room, a very nice anesthesiologist holds my hand and says he is going to make me feel a lot better. LOL, then he gives me the good stuff. I think I might have been able to count to 10 before I was out.
The next thing I remember (4.5 hours later) is about 50 billion people trying to talk to me at once -- and NAUSEA!!!!! I cannot even begin to tell you how bad the nausea was. The pain, on a scale of 1 - 10 (1 being a chihuahua stepping on your toe and 10 being catastrophic) I think I was about a 4, but putting the nausea on the same scale, I was at about 18 trillion, 982 billion, 782 million, 912 thousand, 192 and 9 tenths!!! I kid you not. I have to say, you expect the pain. Hell, your guts just got rearranged! But no one ever told me about the nausea. It took what seemed like a millenium to get the nausea under control, and I suspect they gave me more phentermine than I should legally have been able to have, lol, but when they finally did get it controlled -- all was good.
Apparently, I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic they wanted to give me in recovery, which may have been part of my nausea being so overwhelming, or maybe not. The reaction was caught very quickly, though. I found out later that I had started to break out in hives from the second the IV started pumping the antibiotic into my arm. As soon as they saw the hives, the antibiotic was turned off and I was given benedryl. They switched me back to a "tried and true" antibiotic and I had no more problems like that.
After about 3 hours in recovery, I was wheeled to my room, which is where I actually begin having coherent memories. My husband was in there waiting for me, and he gave me a kiss and helped them to get the fan set up to blow on me and cool me off. After about 2 hours, I was ready for my walking and did a short walk (although the nurses kept telling me that I was walking very quickly and far, and doing great!) and climbed back in the bed.
I got my swallow test at about 8 am the second day, so luckily I didn't have to go too long before being able to drink water. The swallow test is disgusting -- that barium tastes almost as bad as the magnesium citrate! My tech was quick, though, I only had to take 3 swallows of that stuff and he was done. It took about an hour for the results to be sent down to my nurse and the order for me to get water, but she was right on top of that -- THANKS!!
My hospital stay was very nice -- except for not being able to sleep much. My nurses were all very sweet and caring and my doctor checked on me at least 2 times every day. I tried to walk as much as I could and did my breathing exercises.
The only time things got scarey was on the third day (I was originally scheduled to go home on the 4th day), my hematacrit and hemoglobin counts dropped. At the same time, my blood pressure had gotten pretty low. My surgeon came in and talked to me and said that although he didn't believe this was the case (as my heart rate was still good) that these things could indicate internal bleeding. He wanted to have me typed and 2 pints put on hold for me, just in case. He promised he would not transfuse me if he could keep from it, and we would just watch things and take it slowly. A second blood test came back a little lower, and then a third came back super low. I got a little nervous/scared, but trusted that my doctor would know what the right path to take would be. The thing is, the blood they were drawing was coming from finger-pricks, as my veins had all decided to go bye-bye, and I had had to have my IV removed from that arm as it had infiltrated. Well, the third day, a nurse came in and found an actual vein from which to draw blood for my H&H count and it came back normal. Dr. Huerta and I both figure the low counts were due to the IV fluid infiltrating where they were doing the finger pricks. So, all was good and well, and I was cleared to go home.
4/22/05 - 4/25/05 Well, I got home this afternoon with a JP drain in and a script for lortab elixir. I walked around the house a little then took my pain killer and slept.
The next couple of days, I made sure I drank at least 64 oz of water, which is not as hard as some people make it sound. I am quite sick of the SF jell-o and popsicles as well as the broth. I can't believe I am looking forward to pureed foods!
4/26/05 One week follow-up appointment -- 17 pounds gone!! Now, that is not including the 10 or so pounds in fluid retention I gained during my hospital stay, so if I include that -- 27 lbs!!! I am VERY VERY VERY happy about this!!
5/17/05 Haven't posted in a while. Everything is still going well, though. Down 38-39 lbs now, and very happy about it. I am a little stalled out as I cannot stand the protein shakes and cannot eat the bars yet, and am not getting enough protein. I am going to talk to my doctor on Thursday about starting solids so I can add the protein bars.
5/18/05 One month out today and down 40 lbs, not bad at all! I had a great day today -- I had to take my daughter for her cheerleading physical and while there, my PCP was impressed with my weight loss. He is a wonderful doctor and very concerned about his patients. He is happy for me and also says he will start referring other patients to Dr. Huerta as I have nothing bad to say about him. It is weird to see where the weight is coming from, though. I notice that I can now ring my fingers around my wrist again. I have thin ankles -- which is very strange with the rest of me still being so huge, LOL -- and my feet look thinner. I know some came off my middle as I no longer have the 'fat person walk' -- you know what I'm talking about, bent backwards, legs spread, waddling -- and that makes me pretty happy!
I thought I might let everyone know what I have been eating and little bit about how I eat. So far, the foods I have tolerated (and enjoyed) are:
- chicken, either fried in olive oil (my oil of choice, it has so many health benefits!), baked in the oven, or grilled -- of course, since I am still on "pureed" foods, I must chew each bite about a billion times to get it mushy enough.
- eggs, I scramble them with a lot of cheese in them -- if you want moister eggs, add some ricottta cheese to them, it makes them very rich and cheesy, but adds a lot of moisture.
- refried beans -- I always add cheese to them since I am a cheese-a-holic (cheese has more protein per oz than just about anything else out there!). Now, I should be getting the low-fat beans, but the truth is, the only low-fat ones I could find also were lower in protein, so I just buy regular old refried beans and live with the extra 1 or 2 grams of fat.
- CHEESE -- any kind. My faves are swiss cheese and cheddar cheese. I have been craving spicy lately, so we bought some jalepeno jack cheese and some habenero cheddar, both were delicious. I also will eat blue cheese (you can buy just the cheese, and it is great if you get queasy, because the sour/tartness usually helps with nausea), feta, mozzarella, colby, cottage and ricotta cheese. When I eat soups, I will stir in cheeses and let them melt for some added protein.
- microwave pork rinds -- shhhhhh don't tell my doc, they aren't pureed -- I used to think those things were nasty, but I got some because of the super-high protein (9 grams in a half oz, less than 1 carb and only 2 fat grams!) and they are pretty yummy. They are spicy and since they are mostly air, you feel like you are eating soooo much even if you, like I, only have an half oz pouch. I mean, I kept thinking this is too much, but I weigh everything, so it was awesome. It also helps with the want/need for crunchy.
- imitation crab -- pretty good, I did dip it in some clarified butter (very small amounts) and did fine with it. Decent protein count, too.
- lobster cakes -- ok, these, we got at wal-mart in the fish section, they make them there and they are just heat and serve. They are about 3 oz patties and cost 97 cents each. I don't know what the nutritional value was, but they were yummy with a little ranch dressing. Of course, I only ate a few bites, but it was delicious and filling.
- tuna fish -- I did try some, but it is sooooo dense, I could only eat a few teeny weeny bites. Not worth eating in my opinion, since the protein is lower per oz than cheese and I just couldn't even come close to even eating 1/2 oz!
- soups -- I have tried a lot of different ones, and so far, so good. My favorite so far is the Carb Focus (I think it is a wal-mart brand) Southwestern Style Chicken. It was nice and spicy, but is a cream soup. I really should have pureed this, since (just like most soups) the chicken was way too tough to chew to death, but I recommend this soup bigtime.
- vegetarian meats -- we have always eaten the Morningstar Farms breakfast sausage links, they are yummy and low-fat, and I have been having those and they go down well (as long as I don't overcook them!) The other night, we had the Tomato & Basil Pizza burgers -- also by MF -- and they were uberyummy. I, of course, could only have about 1/4 of the patty with some cheese on it, but if you are pre-op (or far out post-op) I would recommend these on italian bread with a little marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese -- that would be awesome!
As you can see, I am having no problems tolerating foods. I have; however, had nothing but problems with protein shakes. I was a little lactose intolerant pre-op, and of course, am worse so now. The Whey protein makes me wanna yack -- and yes, I have tried the unflavored, the Isopure and the Atkins -- they all make me ill. I tried a soy shake, and while it was good, and I didn't want to yack, this particular one had too much sugar and made me rather funky feeling, not quite dumping, but close. I am still seeking out a protein supplement until I am cleared for solids (2 more weeks!) at which time, I will start trying out protein bars.
WOW, my profile is getting long. Soon enough, I will be working on a webpage, though, where I will list some of my "for us and them" recipes -- things that you can make for the whole family and still enjoy. Who knows? I may do a lot more than that, we shall see. Till next time :)
5/26/05 Ok, so it has been a while. I am down a total of 42 lbs and 2 pants sizes. I don't know why, but my top doesn't seem to be shrinking :( I hate boobs, wish I'd never been granted mine. I have this weird/stupid fear that in a year or so, I will be down to a size 4 pant and still have these GINORMOUS boobs! It wouldn't be the first time. Ever since they decided to pop up (when I was in the 4th grade) they have been disproportional to the rest of me. At one point, I know the local mall thought they had some kind of weirdo rearranging their clothing as I would have to buy a size 10 top to go with my size 3 bottom.
Ok, leaving the boob rant for another day. I take the kids to the YMCA every day that we can (which during school means not on m, t, or th as my daughter has cheerleading practice). We swim on average 2 hours. Since it is now summer, I want to start going everyday and doing some work out along with the swimming. At the same time, I am considering leaving swimming as my primary workout, so that if/when I hit a major plateau, I can start doing bigtime workouts to break it. I donno.
Anywho....until next time :)
6/5/05 Wow! I will be 7 weeks out tomorrow, but wanted to post today. I weighed in at 274 yesterday! That is 51 lbs down from day of surgery! Today, I am at 275, which is still 50 lbs, I am very happy about that! I am 1/4 of the way to my "ideal" weight! WOOHOO!!!!
Everything is going great, still no problems. Still don't know what's going on with my foot, though. My whole foot is swollen, which pretty much rules out gout, as that would be mostly in the joint, but this is mostly in the foot. hopefully, they found something in the xray and will let me know tomorrow.
We went to the Pow Wow in Portland yesterday, it was ok. As you could imagine, there was not much that I could eat there -- but I did eat a bite of my husband's buffalo burger (just the meat) for lunch, and it was yummy. Buffalo is very high in protein, I think, so that was good. For dinner, since we were still there, I had some of my daughter's "Indian Taco" -- again, just the meat. It was a little greasy, but I did ok with it. Not a habit I want to get into, though.
Until next time...
7/1/05 It's been a while since my last update. Things are still going well. I am down 69 lbs as of today, which leaves me around 130 to go. That is not horrible. I was hoping to be down 100 lbs for my 3-month checkup, but to do that (it is in 18 days) I would need to lose a minimum of 2 lbs per day. Oh well, I am still very happy with my loss thus far.
7/6/05 Well, I am on a 3 week stall, it seems. I am sure it is at least in part due to my not being able to get all my protein in, and so I have vowed to get all my protein in if it kills me. I am down 71 lbs in 11 weeks, and that is great, even considering my starting weight was quite high. I am very happy with my loss so far and also with my energy level, etc. Most of the time, I feel great, the only time I don't is when I eat too much (happens rarely) or try to drink the protein shakes (I know they make me sick, but I keep trying because I HAVE to get more protein in me!).
I am very frustrated/upset with this website and at a point where I am considering leaving and not looking back. I always read the message board posts because I figure if someone has a complication and posts about it, then later, if I have the same symptoms, I would at least have an idea what is wrong, right? I read posts all the time from people who are whining because they are "slow losers" but who admit they eat all the wrong things and don't exercise and it just burns me up. I mean, if you have read this far, you know that it has been a very long road for me to get my surgery and not any fun at all -- and these are the people who make insurance companies think that this surgery is a waste of time, so they don't cover it!
I think the thing that burns me up the most is when people say, "You will understand when you are farther out" -- because, NO I WON'T! I will understand being hungrier and wanting to overeat when something tastes good. I will understand the newness having worn off and wanting to be lazy and not go swimming EVERY day. I may even understand being at goal and rewarding myself with something that may not be healthy, but tastes good. But I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND SABOTAGING MYSELF BEFORE I EVEN MAKE IT TO GOAL! And I refuse to apologise for feeling that way.
A lot of people ask me how I have lost so much in just 11 weeks, I keep saying that it is due to sticking to my surgeon's diet restrictions and exercising everyday. Of course, I do drink my water, too. I thought I would list a normal day for me and also what I aim for each day:
Normal day:
- B: 1 veggie sausage link - 6 grams protein, 50 calories
- L: 1 oz beef jerky - 15 grams protein, 80 calories
- D: 1 oz chicken - 10 grams protein, 50 calories
Ideal Day:
- B: 1 veggie sausage link - 6 grams protein, 50 calories
- S: 1 oz Beef Jerky - 15 grams protein, 80 calories
- L: 1 oz chicken - 10 grams protein, 50 calories
- S: 1 oz cheese - 8 grams protein, 70 calories
- D: 1 oz chicken - 10 grams protein, 50 calories Total: 49 grams protein, 300 calories -- I really should be eating closer to 400 or more calories, but since I tend to buy low-fat foods, and I grill or broil or bake my meats, I just don't hit those calories!
- To get to my PS goal of 140 lbs. This will put my BMI into the "normal" range, and hopefully will give me a good body if/when I get PS.
- To find a good job with good benefits. Self-explanatory.
- To keep up with my exercise routine of no less than 3 days/week.
- To make 3 new friends.
- To finish my kitchen!
It is still very hard for me to eat, I just am not hungry and hate forcing myself to eat when I am not hungry, because it just feels like I am setting myself up to fail later. If I could just find a decent protein shake that doesn't make me dump, I would cut my meals back to just the 3 and feel better about it.
Well, that's my whine/rant today. until next time...
8/23/05 Just a quick update -- down 97 lbs in just over 4 months! YAY ME!! Will post more later...
9/2/05 WOOOHOOOO 101 lbs gone in less than 5 months!! YAY ME!!
9/15/05 Well, figured it was time for an actual update. I am down 104 lbs today (96 to go!), and that is wonderful. I feel like I am on a stall right now, and it is frustrating, but I know what the problem is -- I am simply not getting in enough calories to lose. I know what I need to do and am trying to work on it, so hopefully, I can start getting in more calories and losing again.
Right now, I am really having food issues. The only protein I can seem to stomach lately is the Ispoure Zero Carb drinks -- and that's fine, but meats/cheese/eggs -- all my old stand-bys are hating me lately. Oddly enough, I did try some oatmeal the other day (NOT a good source of protein, waaaaaaay too high in carbs and the way I make it, mostly sugars, lol) and it stayed down better than chicken has been. However, I really have lost my taste for anything sweet now, lol. Even the Crystal Light/SF Kool-Aid is getting to be too much for me. I guess that was inevitable, though, as I was never really a sweets person anyway.
Well, my husband won a trip to the Marlboro Ranch in Montana for November. We are both very excited. The best thing is that although I am now a size 20 (down from a very tight 32), I should be able to lose at least another size (hopefully 3 or more, LOL) by then, and that will be wonderful. The trip is an all-expense paid 4-days/3-nights stay at the ranch. And it is all-inclusive -- all the activities (ice-fishing, skiing, snowboarding, snowmobiling, horseback riding, etc) are included -- and YES! we plan on doing EVERYTHING! I will be buying a roll of film a week every week until the trip (about 8 more weeks) so there will be plenty of pictures. The prize also includes $1150 in cash, which we will get prior to the trip, and you KNOW I will have to buy some cute winter clothes with it (even if I leave the tags on them so they can be returned when I come back too small for them, lol). Plus, being a ranch, the food will be perfect for me -- all steaks and buffalo and high-protein yummy stuff.
For those who say that I am doing fantastic, THANKS! For those who are looking into surgery and want to do this well, just do what your doctor tells you to do, and you will do great. I honestly think my doctor restricting all the trigger foods (starches, fruits, etc) for so long is at least a huge part of why I am doing as well with my loss as I am.
Ok, I think this has been a good update -- oh, one last point, this month sucks, I will be 5 months post in 3 days and have only lost 7 lbs this month -- keep your fingers crossed that I do better next month!
11-4-05 Well, today was a magical day -- at only 6.5 months, I made it to "Onederland". I am now under 200lbs, YAY ME! I got on the scales this morning and am now 199. LOL, only 74 more lbs to go!
I had my 6 month checkup yesterday, and while my surgeon is pleased with my loss, he is not pleased with my choice of vitamins. His office recommends the very expensive bariatric vitamins made by WLSVitamins, and I think it is wonderful that they take such a pro-active approach to vitamins. My issue is, though, that many of my post-WLS friends who have much more experienced surgeons (surgeons who have been doing RNY since its inception, as opposed to my surgeon only having done it for going on 3 years) only take Flintstones and always have good labs. Well, I have never taken the bariatric vitamins and my labs always look good. In fact, until month 4, I was taking only Flintstones with iron for my iron, and although my iron level was a little low at my 4 month labs, it was higher than I have ever had it (I have had problems with anemia in the past). I decided to start taking the bariatric iron (Glycinate -- reccomended by my surgeon's office) at that point -- and guess what? My 6 month iron levels were EVEN LOWER! I am going back to the flintstones with iron and will have my level re-checked in 2 months by my PCP -- if the level goes back up, it will be proof enough for me.
Of course, I do NOTNOTNOT reccomend going against your own surgeon's orders -- I am a geek who researches like crazy, and I am VERY in tune with my body, so I felt comfortable with my decision. Also, I know how to take responsibility for my own actions, and know that if I change my choice of vitamins, any and all deficiencies are my own fault and problem. I trust my surgeon completely, but I know that from the experience of many around me that Flintstones vitamins are a good vitamin.
12-31-05I thought I would do one last update for this year, and it is a bittersweet one. As of today, I am down 144 lbs from day of surgery, 150 from my pre-op weight. I am wearing a size 14 pants (down from a very tight 32) and a Lg/XL tops (down from a too snug for my comfort 5XL). So far, all my levels look good, my iron is a little low for my surgeon's tastes, but it is actually higher than it ever was pre-op (I have always had a slight case of anemia).
On 12-22, my husband was fired from his job for some unexplained downtime. He had worked there for almost 3 years and had never had any problems or write-ups or anything for that kind of thing, but they termed him anyway. It is my belief (knowing the company, I used to work there when they first opened in this town and left because of their lack of ethics) that he was termed because he has been there as long as he has and making more than many others. The slow season for that company is from January until around May and they have a tendency to get fire-happy before and during that time to keep from having to do lay-offs. They are very proud of the fact that the company has never had to lay-off -- even though they do "voluntary lay-offs" every year. Basically, this means that I am losing my insurance coverage at only 8.5 months post-op. Pray for me that I do not encounter any problems.
I will be going to the local DHS to see if I can qualify for medicaid/care until my husband's insurance kicks in at his new job (the insurance SUCKS, but at least it will be SOMETHING -- just doesn't kick in until he has been there for 6 months). The worst part is that this insurance has pre-existing condition clauses, which is just lovely since they very specifically spell out they do not cover WLS or any other treatment for obesity or morbid obesity, so I am guessing that they will not cover my regular testing. sigh...wish me luck. I am going to an interview on Wednesday, hopefully, I will get the job and they will have good insurance. I am desperately in need of a tummy tuck and breast reduction/lift at this point. My body is thrown off-balance because of the excess skin and the rashes are just disgusting.
Like I said, this is a bittersweet update, some really great news, but some really crappy news, too. I am trying to stay positive and focused, I only have another 41 lbs until my goal weight for plastic surgery. I still eat like I did in the beginning, mostly protein, only healthy carbs (vegetables and whole wheats), and loads of water. I am only 11 lbs away from being "just overweight" and that is pretty cool, considering just how grossly obese I was -- I was SUPER morbidly obese. From a 58 BMI to a 32 BMI is pretty cool in less than 9 months!
HAPPY NEW YEAR
1-3-06 Well, it's a new year, what are my resolutions? I have been giving this a lot of thought lately, as I usually do not do new year's resolutions, but I think I will this time.
I think this is enough for now...wish me luck, lol!
4/20/06 Ok, so I missed my surgiversary...I was busy. Just wanted to do a short update for anyone who might be interested. I am a year out and have lost a total of 172 lbs from my surgery day weight. I weigh in at 153 now, which isn't too bad. 13 lbs to my pre-PS goal. I have been stalled out for going on 2 months, so have changed some things around hoping to kickstart my loss again. To be honest, I really would be ok with it if I don't lose the rest, but I really want to. I wear a size 10-12 now, which is a good size, though I really do want to get into the single-digit sizes, hehe. That's enough for now...
6/3/06 So, it's been a while since I updated, so I thought I should do that now...I am 13 months post-op and can now wear clothing (depending on the cut) that ranges in size from 6 up. What that means in reality is that I am "@ goal" since my goal all along has really been to be able to wear size 7. I weigh 145lbs this morning. I have at least 10lbs of excess skin that I would like to see gone. I now have BCBS through my work and hopefully they will cover a panniculectomy (fingers crossed). I would also love to get a breast reduction/lift, but that may have to come out of pocket -- which I will figure out how to afford...ok, long enough update for now.
6/17/06 Ok, awesome update ~~ I am now officially at my pre-PS goal of 140lbs. I will be 14 months out from surgery tomorrow and have hit goal. My BMI is "nomal" -- 24.7, my size is 6/8, and my weight is 140. At 5'3", not too shabby, eh?
I have had a great time of it, no complications thus far and excellent results. I have done my best to work my tool and although I have days when I make bad choices, those are few and far between.
I still supplement to get all of my protein in -- I use IsoFruit Delite in the cantaloupe flavor, which is yummy -- and I take my vitamins every day. I don't get to exercise as much as I'd like thanks to a weird work schedule, only 1 car and hubby working nights...but I do what I can, which is a HELL of a lot more than I used to be able to do! I look good, I feel great and my family is proud of me. I get hit on all the time by hot younger guys, and hubby gets compliments, which is nice.
Time will tell if I am up to the challenge of maintaining, but I am going to do my best. That's all any of us can do, right? Wish me luck and keep up the good fight!
10/21/06
Well, I hit the double century mark on the 19th (one day after my 18 month aniiversary), and in the last 24 hours managed to lose another 2lbs. How cool is that? I am now below my "ideal weight" at 123lbs. Life is great. I found out Thursday that my insurance will cover a full abdominoplasty! How awesome is that?? Now, the trick is getting a surgeon to schedule me before 12-31 so it will be covered at 100%. Wish me luck!
