hitthetrails
January 18, 2008
Jan 18, 2008
OMG have been doing a lot of emotional eating lately. Today I took a stand though. I planned out my meals and snacks and am sticking to it. Right now I am so hungry! I drank a protein drink for a snack. I've gained 5 #s in the last week, from eating lots of carbs and comfort food. I have been dealing with a lot of my food issues with my therapist. It's funny how bad stuff that happened when you were a kid makes you weird when you grow up. LOL. And of course, it's all your parentals' fault. All the anger and rage and pain that I had growing up just got stuffed down with food. And now that I'm trying to deal with this behavior, I find that I still want to do it for nurturing and comfort. I will never get it from the parentals, I have finally realized. (And boy does that still sting!)
Aside from the emotional eating, I am going to therapy, I am going to support group, and I am exercising. At least I can count more positives than negatives. Also my house is rather tidy as a result of distraction therapy from binge eating. I will conquer this. I AM WORTHY.
How's that for a positive affirmation?
Aside from the emotional eating, I am going to therapy, I am going to support group, and I am exercising. At least I can count more positives than negatives. Also my house is rather tidy as a result of distraction therapy from binge eating. I will conquer this. I AM WORTHY.
How's that for a positive affirmation?
January 8, 2008
Jan 08, 2008
Had a great day today, even though it was ugly out. Had a good session with my therapist. I really like her and she "gets" me. Thank God for health insurance to pay for it. It seems pretty self-indulgent, but I want to get over my issues with food and be happy the for the rest of my life. Was able to squeeze into my size 10 jeans this morning, another Victory! Got my hair cut super short, so the sweat won't be dripping from my bangs into my eyes. Reviewed my weight loss progress chart. I am steady at 2#s per week. At this rate I will be at goal in 11 weeks or end of March. That doesn't seem very far away!!!!!
I cannot wait to visit my sister in April. She stayed with me after surgery. I know she will be so impressed and perhaps motivated to do something for herself now, too. Even though it has been hard at times, I feel truly blessed by God to have this opportunity.
VIVA La Band!
I cannot wait to visit my sister in April. She stayed with me after surgery. I know she will be so impressed and perhaps motivated to do something for herself now, too. Even though it has been hard at times, I feel truly blessed by God to have this opportunity.
VIVA La Band!
January 5, 2008!
Jan 05, 2008
Hooray for the NEW YEAR! My eating is back on plan, now that the holidays are OVER! I ate so much yummy CRAP! And I did have quite a few alcoholic beverages!!!! Now if only the scale will move?????? (TOM in a week) I have been doing very well with exercise. Actually went to the park and did 4 miles with the dog. Amazingly she was able to keep up with me, in fact, was dragging me when she spotted the squirrels. Went biking with a friend in the 'hood. Now the house is back in order - no more Christmas tree, decorations or lights. I feel super positive about the coming year. I know I can reach goal, as long as I can stick to my eating plan. It's all good.
December 28, 2007
Dec 28, 2007
Those darn sugar cookies at work! Oh how I hate those blessed things! I ate so many I think I lost count after 16! Today I am paying for it, my stomach is so queasy. I am most definately purging that crap out of my system. I am back on track today. Already did my cardio, took a nice bubble bath and put on some nice clothes (size 12!). Support group was no better this week - they had food there too. I skipped the big group because it just was not fair to me to put a group of fat people in a room with "wls" friendly JUNK food! Rather than register my displeasure, I just left. Apparently they do this ever year. So who am I to go against tradition? I am off work for the next 5 days so I will have my opportunity to detox, so to speak, and I sure hope all those tins of cookies and garbage food disappear. After new year everyone will be thinking like me - weight loss! 
December 25, 2007
Dec 25, 2007
Merry Christmas to you! What a wonderful day. Even though I am at work, I am so thankful for my return to health, and lower weight. My prezzie to myself tonight is to jog 2 miles and then have a big lavender bubble bath. Followed by a thick slathering of lavender lotion and slip into my silk pjs. A nice hot cup of tea before bed and a warm puppy to snuggle with. Now that is heaven.
December 23, 2007
Dec 23, 2007
Christmas is almost here! There has been so much to do and fun things happening with friends. I am really greatful to have my health back and have lost some weight. From where I was a year ago, I feel so much better. I can fit into most of my clothes again.
Not eating bad food at work continues to be a problem. But I am more motivated than ever to continue my efforts. I know in a few weeks everyone will be on board with me, trying to lose weight. I have enlisted a friend at work to come over when we get off and work out with me. This has really helped me NOT to flake out when I get home, like I would really like to do. Instead I am accountable, and so do the exercise as soon as I get home. Then I pass out!!!!
Not eating bad food at work continues to be a problem. But I am more motivated than ever to continue my efforts. I know in a few weeks everyone will be on board with me, trying to lose weight. I have enlisted a friend at work to come over when we get off and work out with me. This has really helped me NOT to flake out when I get home, like I would really like to do. Instead I am accountable, and so do the exercise as soon as I get home. Then I pass out!!!!
December 18, 2007
Dec 18, 2007
One week to Christmas! I can hardly believe it!
2 NSVs: met Susan at church and she didn't recognize me from behind! And got a massage on Sunday and Kevin went on and on about "inches girl!!!!" Made me feel really good.
TOM this week so the scale is not moving but it's nice that friends are noticing the new me. Cleaned out my closet and dresser, it was hard to get rid of some stuff but I gave my most valuable things them to my friend who will love them too (until she gets too small to use them). I t has been really hard with all the goodies at work. I have been super motivated NOT to eat any of it, but I still feel the torment of it being there all the time, while I am trying to eat my (good) food. Oh if I can hust get through to the New Year when everyone will be concentrating on weight loss!
2 NSVs: met Susan at church and she didn't recognize me from behind! And got a massage on Sunday and Kevin went on and on about "inches girl!!!!" Made me feel really good.
TOM this week so the scale is not moving but it's nice that friends are noticing the new me. Cleaned out my closet and dresser, it was hard to get rid of some stuff but I gave my most valuable things them to my friend who will love them too (until she gets too small to use them). I t has been really hard with all the goodies at work. I have been super motivated NOT to eat any of it, but I still feel the torment of it being there all the time, while I am trying to eat my (good) food. Oh if I can hust get through to the New Year when everyone will be concentrating on weight loss!
December 13, 2007
Dec 13, 2007
The busy-ness continues! I cannot believe Christmas is < 2 weeks away! I had a good session with the therapist, Leslie Schultea. She "got" me and I think it will be a very therapeutic relationship. She thinks I am obsessed with food right now - no shit Sherlock!
My weight loss is going well. I really think it has to be the jogging. I am still tempted by all the food at work but I have to keep reminding myself it is always MY CHOICE to stay on plan. If I don't, then I just hurt myself. I had a few NSVs - I can squeeze into my size 10 pants and most of my skinney clothes again! I am going to dedicate one day this weekend to going thru my dresser and closet and pull out all the clothes I no longer wear. I want to get them donated before the end of the yr for the tax write off. Also I am getting so many complements at work. People are really noticing and it does make me kinda leary, but I will try to stay positive and be thankful for the kind words.
My weight loss is going well. I really think it has to be the jogging. I am still tempted by all the food at work but I have to keep reminding myself it is always MY CHOICE to stay on plan. If I don't, then I just hurt myself. I had a few NSVs - I can squeeze into my size 10 pants and most of my skinney clothes again! I am going to dedicate one day this weekend to going thru my dresser and closet and pull out all the clothes I no longer wear. I want to get them donated before the end of the yr for the tax write off. Also I am getting so many complements at work. People are really noticing and it does make me kinda leary, but I will try to stay positive and be thankful for the kind words.
December 9, 2007
Dec 09, 2007
It's been so busy lately with the holidays. I would like to say that I have been super good most of the time, but that would be a lie. I have struggled during Thanksgiving, and after. My way to deal with the holidays is to work. That is a good plan, but there are lots of temptations at work. One day I started off eating an oatmeal cookie and that escalated into 4 more by the end of the day. I could not stop!!!! As I have learned though, this was a pause in my plan and now I am back on track. I have also noticed that I "pig out" when I have a drink with dinner at a restaurant. It took me almost 2 weeks to lose the 3 #s I gained from making poor food choices. And then I had a really bad PB last week, throwing up a little blood. I am sure I just irritated my esophagus, so I have been on liquids and soft food since then. I need to just STOP inhaling my food. I've got the chewing part down really well. Old habits are so hard to break. I go to my first therapist appt on Tues. I am scared and excited. I want to get my food addiction/eating disorder under control for good. I hate that I do not trust myself to go to holiday dinners and not make a mistake or get stuck. Cleansing breath......
It's all a learning process.
It's all a learning process.
November 26, 2007
Nov 25, 2007
Two victories this morning: scale victory - 179, my BMI is no longer "obese". Now I am just plain "overweight". And non-scale victory - my medium sized scrubs fit comfortably!!!! I folded up the larges and placed them in the fat clothes pile. I cannot help but think increasing the cardio is what made the difference for me. Thank you God for helping me to realize what I needed to do!
About Me
Houston, TX
Location
27.6
BMI
Surgery
08/07/2007
Surgery Date
Sep 30, 2007
Member Since
