Heather L.

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7/16/05 - I actually went out to eat for the first time today. I was scared and nervous, but I made it through it with flying colors. My best friend and I went to my favorite Mexican place. My pre-surgery meal there used to consist of refried beans, spanish rice, bean burrito, and a cheese enchilada. This was always eaten after a TON of chips and salsa/cheese. This time, I skipped the chips completely and ordered only one cheese enchilada of which I only ate half!!! I was amazed! I know that cheese enchiladas aren't exactly healthy, but it felt so good and I think that it was the first time that I really realized how little I eat now before I feel full! This is great!

07/01/05 - A lady on the May message board just posted a poll with several questions, so I thought that I would post my answers as my current update. Here goes...

1. How far post-op are you? Six weeks

2. What surgery did you have? Lap RNY

3. State/country you live in? Virginia

4. Age? 28

5. What was your first (second, etc) WOW moment since surgery? My first came when I went to buy a new pair of sandals. I was two weeks out and went to the size 10 aisle just like always, but the size 10's didn't fit!? I ended up in the 8 1/2 section trying on even the most hideous pairs of shoes that I could find just because I was in shock that all of the 8 1/2's were fitting! My son was laughing and grabbing shoes and saying, "Try these on!" He was tickle for me! I'm surprised that security wasn't called on the crazy women in the shoe department.

6. Have you reached any of your intermediate goals yet? I couldn't wait to break past the thirty pound mark for some reason. I accomplished this Monday when I stepped on the scale and it said that I had lost 31 pounds.

7. What is your favorite (or most tolerable) protein supplement? I really struggle with this. I wish that I could tolerate those really high protein GNC, etc shakes, but so far Oscar (that's my pouches name...Oscar the grouchy pouch) only accepts Carnation Instant Breakfast made with Carb Countdown Milk of course.

8. What stage diet are you on? I'm on the soft/pureed diet for two more weeks. I can't wait!

9. What food just isn't working for you yet? Red meat and chicken kinda bother me. I can tolerate chicken on occasion, but the red meat really works on me.

10. Are you exercising? If so, what are you doing and how much? Not as much as I should. I try to get in a mile walk with my kids every afternoon. We walk a path around my neighborhood. My son rides his scooter and I push my baby girl in her stroller. I made sure that the path that we take has some hill and inclines in it so I get a little more of a workout (especially pushing a 28 pound girl in a full size stroller)!

11. What is your next intermediate goal(s)? I'm working on the 50 pound mark. One thing that I don't do is set that I am to reach that mark by a certain date. I'm afraid if I did that and then hit a plateau and didn't reach it on time, I might get too discouraged. So I just set a number and shoot for it!

12. How are people reacting to the changes in you? My coworkers and close friends and family have been very supportive. Other's that simply know I have had the surgery, but are clueless as to exactly what the surgery is kinda get on my nerves. They seem to think that this was going to be an immediate results surgery. For example, my mom had several of her coworkers ask her the day after my surgery how much weight that I had lost. My daughter's daycare workers asked her if I had lost all of the weight that I wanted to. That kinda messed with my head and scared me when I thought about going back out into public. I was afraid that everyone would think that I had failed.

13. Do you have any regrets about the surgery? If you had asked me this question during the first four weeks, I would have said, "Yes, what the heck have I done!" My mom said those were my first words to her when they wheeled me into ICU. However, things have really smoothed out now and I am totally happy that I have had this life saving surgery.

06/28/05 - I've made it to 30 pounds! Yeah for me! I weighed yesterday and I weighed 236 pounds! That's a 31 pound loss of yucky gone forever! I'm so tickled. Things are getting so much better for me know. I've learned to eat to live instead of living to eat. I still struggle getting everything in everyday, but the important thing is that I have already learned that it's important what I feed my body. My son hates to go to the grocery store with me now. It takes me twice as long to buy half the food because I have to read every label before it gets put into my shopping cart. Even my kids are starting to eat healthier so hopefully this will be a great too for all of us!

06/24/05 - I'm happy to say that I am feeling much better now. I think that I am finally getting past the hibernation phase and my energy is returning. (See body, I told you I wasn't trying to kill you, just make you healthy..lol) I've even been outside playing basketball with my son in the afternoons! Something that I certainly couldn't do before surgery because I was always too tired. The pain in my left side is gone too. I'm very thankful for that! At least I can make it through the workday without feeling like I'm going to fall apart at the seams. I'm down only one more pound right now. The plateau seems to be hanging on, but I'm sure that will change soon. I'm sure that part of the problem is my fluid intake. I have to totally concentrate on getting enough in especially during the week while I'm at work. I get to working and forget to take sips of water. I guess that's my new goal for the week. I guess all in all I can finally stop saying to myself, "What the heck have I done?" :-)

6/16/05 - My how things change in a matter of a few days. I have hit the hibernation phase as Barbara Thompson, author of Weight Loss Surgery: Finding the Thin Person Hiding Inside You (I highly recommend this book!) calls it. It's funny because I thought that I was going nuts and then something told me to read my book again. I almost immediately turned to the page that discusses this "syndrome". Here is what it is in a nutshell. My body was just beginning to find some energy and then has decided to shut down. It's in shock and has gone into survival mode thinking that I am starving it to death. I've also hit a plateau in my weight loss which just adds to my feeling of being miserable. This usually hits between 2 - 4 weeks of surgery until your body realizes that you’re not trying to kill it and that it has plenty of fat to burn for energy. My mind understands this concept and it appears to be very logical. However, my heart feels differently. My heart says that this is all to depressing and that this can't be worth what I have put my body through. I'm trying to listen to my mind right now. Nobody said that this journey would be easy. It really helps having a book written by someone who has felt this exact same feeling and knows where I am coming from. I don't have to feel so lonely. Hopefully, the next time I write, this phase will be over with and I will be feeling so much better.

6/13/05 - I'm starting to do better now. I'm getting more protein and fluid in than I had been. I've began using Pro-Stat which dramatically increased my protein intake. It has 15 grams of protein in a 1 oz serving. It doesn't taste the best in the world, but I have found that if I mix the cherry (which is the only flavor that I have tried so far) in 3-4oz of applesauce, it's tolerable. I'm still having a lot of pain in my left side that wraps around my back. It is really noticeable at work when I have to sit in front of a computer all day. I have found that I have to take quite a few breaks so that I can get up and stretch. I've also tried some green leaf lettuce. I put my 3oz of chicken with a couple of leafs of lettuce and pour just a little fat free Catalina dressing on it and boy am I in heaven. I'm glad I'm getting to a point that I can experiment with "real" food a little more. It makes things so much easier. My other favorite food right now is sugar free fudgesicle. I'm beginning to think that these could become addictive :-)

I've been doing OK. I've been a little weak lately. Plus, the gas is still trapped in my back and it's been kinda painful to sit at a computer for very long at all. This has been the worst part. I called Dr. Hodge and he said that it was the gas and that it would just take time to work it out. I hope time hurries up :-)! I am back at work, but I've not been able to make it a full day yet. I think that I have higher expectations of my body to cope with what I've put it through than it can handle. This is certainly an emotional roller coaster! I'm still struggling with the protein thing. I've finally found that I can stand Carnation Instant Breakfast, however, it only has 12 grams of protein after you mix it with 8 oz of milk, so it's still not enough. I'm working on it though, so things are getting better everyday. I have been able to tolerate 3oz of tuna or fish a few times so far. It seems like one day this might work, and the next day it won't. Again, I think it's just my body's way of adjusting. I've also made the mistake of stepping on the scales quite often. This was fine at first because I lost 23 pounds in the first two weeks and I enjoyed stepping on the scales and seeing lower numbers everyday. However, yesterday I stepped on the scales and had gained back three pounds. I know that this is probably water weight (in my head), but my heart is panicking! It really shook me up. Please keep me in your prayers.

I'm doing OK right now. Getting a little dehydrated I think, and still struggling with the protein thing. That's a lot of protein to get down! I've been a little nauseated the last couple of days. I'm not sure what's going on with that. I just hope things get better soon. I'm sure that they will. I know that this will be the roughest part of the surgery and that things should start turning the corner soon. By the way, I've lost 23 pounds. I just wish that I could see it. My family says that they can in my face, but I don't.

I did have my appointment today with Dr. Hodge, but the drain is still in. I have to go back Friday and get the nurse to take the drain out. I can't wait!!!! I had to go to the ER last night with a severe pain right where my new stomach is. Turns out that I have some pleurisy that has developed. I'm back home now. I'm still struggling with the protein thing. It just all tastes so bad right now. I guess I'll just have to keep experimenting until I find something. I'm been hungry for the first time today, but here's the thing....I'm afraid to eat. I'm am so terrified of dumping that I don't think that I am eating all that I should. Coupled with the fact that I tired of the broth, jello, and pudding.

Hello everyone! I just wanted to get on here a post just a little to let everyone know that I'm still alive and kicking. I'm doing OK right now (I have my moments). I'm REALLY struggling with the protein thing. I just can't seem to get that much down right now, but it's getting better everyday. They have taken me off of my gallbladder meds for a couple of weeks to try to get some relief from feeling so full and a little sick. I'm supposed to go back to Dr. Hodge tomorrow at 11:20AM. I'm praying some staples and the drain come out then :-) !! Well, I need to get off here and try to get some protein in right now. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers!!