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OMG!! I'm nervous, I'm scared, I'm flipping out. I don't know what to do. I've been going out trying to buy any and everything to accommodate my new lifestyle I'm going to have, but don't know what to buy. I don't know if I should buy new little tiny spoons or baby spoons or just stick with the spoons I have. I don't know if I should buy smaller dishes or 4oz. cups or smaller clothes or special food. I'm just going crazy. I usually buy things to comfort myself, but this time, I don't know what to buy to comfort me. I'm going to the walmart every other weekend looking for God knowS what. I really want this surgery but I'm scared of being put to sleep. Also, I have to get the IVC filter put in on the 19th of this month. I have to have a twilight for that. I think I'll be ok with that since I had to have that to have the upper endoscopy, but to be fully under makes me nervous. I hate not knowing what is going on around me. Like what do they see inside my body during the surgery, or what do they talk about. I wonder if the room will look scary when I get in there. I really hope they can give me something to make me calm when I go in. I tell you one thing, the moment I wake up, I'm going to have a huge smile on my face. I'll be so happy to know I did it and I am safe and life can only get better afterwards. Sorry for my rant, but i'm SCARED!!!!!

Ok, so I just went to the doctor on Thursday for my final visit and they are going to submit all my info to the insurance company. I am so excited and scared at the same time, but more excited, lol. It's getting closer guys. Soon, I will begin to feel better about myself and the way I look and finally be healthier. Can't wait! I do have to get a IVC filter put in 2 weeks before my surgery though, that's kind of scary. Has anyone else had that done before?

Ok, so I had my 3rd visit on September 21st. That means I have 3 more months to go. I am so nervous and I feel like I have been doing all of the wrong things. I don't understand. I mean I haven't gained any  weight and I haven't lost any either. I feel like I let myself off the hook because I don't have any set amount of weight I'm supposed to loose according to the doctor. I'm free to eat what I want with a few limitations. I don't think that is helping me prepare and I know I should do better, but I'm not. I need help and motivation and inspiration. On October 21st, I'll have 2 more months too good...I'm getting scared and feel that I need more motivation to do what I know is right...but I can't tell anyone that because they will just say it's all my fault and tell me what to do instead of nicely helping me and motivating me.

OK, so I had my orientation and my first visit with the Dr., well with the Dr. and everyone else in the office. I was told that because I don't have documented weight loss trials(weight watcher, jenny craig, etc.) that I will have to meet with their nutritionist for 6 months prior to the surgery, as my insurance requests. I'm still excited and afraid all at the same time. My second appointment with the nutritionist is scheduled for August 17, which is kind of fast. That will count as number two. So after that visit, I'll just have 4 more to go. That seems so fast already. They gave me a list of stuff I should be eating and stuff I should be limiting. Now, tell me if this is weird of not. I have found myself eating and drinking stuff I normally don't eat or drink because I know I won't be able to have it after surgery. For example, beef. I'm always saying I don't like to eat beef and I'm not a big beef eater,but it seems like since my visit with the Dr., that's all I have been eating. Plus soda, I probably have a soda probably once or twice a month, but I have been finding myself drinking soda about every other day. Is this weird, has anyone else experienced this, I would like to know. Other than that I'm fine, still trying to stay calm and tell myself this is the best decision for me, even though every one else questions it.

Hello everyone. OK, so I was thinking of getting the lap-band/realize band, whatever, but after some consideration I think I am going to have the gastric bypass. I heard a lot of people on youtube have had the lap-band/realize band and have done great and lost tons of weight within the first year, but i have also heard a lot of negative stuff. Lots of people  have to go from lap-band/realize band to something else, commonly gastric bypass. That worries me, because other than maybe plastic surgery to remove excess skin, I don't want to have another surgery especially not one for weight loss. I was just so confused. I am terrified of having surgery. You should have seen me when I had my c-section. I was crying and kept asking the nurses how my heart was looking on the monitor. I was so scared. So I thought OK, the lap-band/realize band is less invasive, I'll be fine. But I don't want to do it all for nothing. Now, my fiance has had gastric bypass and he has done wonderful. It will be a year in September but he has already lost over 200lbs. I want that kind of success. I mean I don't have 200 to lose, but I have at least 100. My weight is around 268. I just want to get rid of this dreaded DIABETES!!! It is getting worse, plus I have high cholesterol. I'm only 29. It shouldn't be this way, I don't want to die young. I have two kids to look after. I know how it feels to grow up without a mom. I think if I follow the docs orders to a T, I will be fine. I'm just so afraid of blood clots, but he told me they give blood thinner and they put those booties on you. I'm so excited and scared all at the same time. If everything goes well, I will have my surgery hopefully the beginning of January. I have to do the six months wait, which doesn't bother me much because I am being treated for H. Pylori bacteria(don't know how I got that). So far so good, just need inspiration.