huny9701

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Yesterday was my first swim lesson.  OUCH!!  I thought that it would be kind of mellow.  Oh man, that was so not the case.  I feel like I've been hit by a mac truck.  But I like it!!!! 

Today I decided to take a jog on our culdesac.  Just to see if I could and how far I could jog.  I actually jogged the whole culdesac.  Of course it was probably the absolute slowest jog in history but it was a jog none the less.  I can get faster and faster if I persist.  I am just so proud.  This is truly a wow moment for me.

Well now my size 22s are fitting better and better.  They are starting to even get a little roomy.  I am wearing a pair of size 20 jeans right now.  My 20s are my new Tight Jeans since my 22s are so roomy.  I don't even own any 18s I guess it is time to start  looking for some. 

My husband surprised me with the money for swim lessons the other day.  Then he took me to sign up.  I am so happy.  I am still going through the blues.  I only realized recently that I only seem motivated to get out of bed or do anything if my DH is here.  If he's not here I feel lonely.  Even with the little monkeys running around the house.  I don't know what I would've done without my son.  When he sees me blue he takes such good care of his sisters. 

Well, looks like another plateau.  Whatcha gonna do?  I feel like I stall more than I lose but what can I do?  My DH fixed my bike so we have been riding in the evenings.  I guess I am not doing enough.  I wanted to take swim lessons but I don't have the $$$ for that after being on disability.  God will work it out.

All went well.  Dr. says I am doing great.  I am losing slow but I think that is okay.  I keep catching myself falling into other people's expectations.  My family tries not to be judgemental but, it seems they all expect me to lose all of the weight in a month or two.  It took me 10 years of patiently and diligently packing on the fat,  so it may take me a year or so to do it.   I have to get my mind around the concept.  It is hard not to want your own body to do the miraculous weight drops that others seem to have.  But my body is my own and I must deal with what it CAN handle.

Well, now I am finally doing some moving downward.  Even if it is slower it is still moving down.  I was starting to feel so hopeless. When I saw the scale move down on friday I was hesitant to even update the weight for fear that it would shoot back up again.  I am so glad. 

I don't feel nearly as bad today as I have been.  I think it is just hormonal since aunt flow came buy for her one week visit this morning.  I learned the acne was due to hormonal changes caused by the surgery and the weight loss.  So, I guess it's just a phase.  I can't wait until Monday.  I am going to go to the Pacific Bariatric Support group in Pasadena.  I think that is going to be the little extra something I need. 

You know, I think I may have the "WLS Blues" they told us was a risk.  It sucks because I don't feel like doing anything, then I get depressed because I didn't get up and do anything.  I am definately going to the support group on monday.  I think I need it.  After that I will see if I maybe need something stronger.  I really have to be careful because my food choices are getting sloppy and I am starting to feel hungry. 

Well, I am trying to keep my head up.  Haven't lost any weight in about 2 weeks.  I know some people say it happens to them but, for like a week.  I am starting to get that feeling that this is not going to work for me.  Like I am going to be one of those people that this won't work for.  Right now I am scared.