Jessica S.

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I thought I should post something for my new blog. I have been away for a very long time and now IM back and guess its time to fill everyone in on whats going on.  Nothing much has changed. The hubby and I made it to Fiji but I wasnt at the weight I thought I would be by the time we left. However I did feel very pretty the whole trip which is a new thing for me. I work short sleeve..and even no sleeve shirts. I work a tankini with board shorts but with no shirt and felt perfectly fine. I even had an outside body massage which was a BIG DEAL. I dont usually feel that comfortable with my body to do any of these things but I felt perfectly fine and was hit on quite a bit by the Fiji boys..but hey ..
I am am so excited to go to the each here at home now ...and not embarrassed at all to hang at the beach in normal beachwear.
I havent lost anything  for about three or four weeks which is very frustrating but the good things is that Im not gaining. I have been eating crazy food and whatever I like..so one thing for sure is that I need a fill because i eat too much..secondly I need to be more careful with what type of foods Im putting in my mouth. I cant stay away from the cakes..geez..and my hubby needs to loose a bit as well..so someone should help me from cooking the horriable foods and desserts..especially the cakes..

so much has changed..well my port came undone so I had to have that repaired...and that was much of a hassle. I also began having problems with my PCOS which made me incredably sick. Well things are going better now and Im feeling 90% better. This weekend my hubby and I are going off to FIJI in six days and Im a bit nervous about how I will look on the beach with all the little beach girls. Ill have to fill everyone in on how it goes..I just want to have a good time with the hubby...
Well thats all for now..down to 122 kgs and wish it was less but ive averaged about 1kg a week and the doctor thinks that is really good compared to me eating everything under the sun and at any amount I care to have..Ive just had my third fill and up to 3cc in my band and Im feeling it today ..hope this last for awhile ...also must stay away from the wine..too many calaries..
ta ta for now

This is a short update to let everyone know how things are going...
nothing really new and have only lost 1 more kg since the last time I logged in. Thats about 2.2 lbs. Things in my closet are starting to fall off my bum and thats not nice but the fact that Im losing is really good. I have my first fill date on wednesday and im excited hopefully finally get this weigth loss going.
I will report more later..here are a few udate
pictures.

I have been feeling okay since my surgery and anxious to began loosing weight..especially for this trip coming up to FIJI in two months. I have only a total of 10 kg ( that's about 25lbs) since the journey began. I loss a little more before but gained a few back while waiting for my stomach to heal back in place. So right now I have no clothes to wear because after loosing 10 kg you loose a dress size...I refuse to buy new clothes as they will only fit for another month. At this moment am able to eat anything I want and even though it is about half the amount I was able to eat it is still too much to see any changes in my weight. Next week I will go for my first fill . Hopefully I will began to see a difference. I have tired to exercise more but its been a hard thing to do but I have stop taking the short cuts to work so that gets me moving a bit more. I am walking to the bus stop from home and then from the bus stop in the city to work. With those two combined I get a good 20 min walk in. If I do this to work and from work then I can get a good 40 mins. of walking in a day. I would like to get in another 20 mins of taebo or riding my new exercise bike (courtesy of one of my kids from school!). The doctor said I need to get in about 30-45 mins. of workout each day. So this makes good for M-F. I just need to make up for the weekends..
I have also had trouble with drinking water..and I have no idea why..I don't have the motivation I suppose. Needless to say I will get there.
ohhh and i forgot to mention that I recently got an infection within my incision and internal sutures. Everything is okay now and I am on antibiotics and they are working like a charm. So no worries.
I spoke with my other doctor for another check up and blood work to check for any new growths. Nothing new and everything looks good. Still benign but I have to start loosing weight right now or it may not be as good in the next few months.

Well nothing else to report. Nothing new on my acting..im searching for the right classes at the moment and I would feel a bit better to loose a little wieght first ..I dont know how to get over the thoughts of being fat in my head. I am happier that with the 10kgs being gone though..and cant wait to see more..thanks all for your prayers and nice notes..its what keeps me going through the depression stage of all this..
Cheers

FIRST GOAL ALREADY MET!

Yesterday was my band surgery and yes it was painful. I wont go into to much detail as everyone always will. I will just give you snippits of how it felt for me. THe longest part was the waiting and worrying. When I got to the hospital I realized that my pastor was right behind us..and she came to pray for us and over my bed. I thought that was very sweet. When I got there they showed me to my room and asked me to put on my blue 'suit, I was surprised when it wraped all the way around and had some room to spare. They then took my blood pressure and weighed me..I weighed in at 125kgs...which is not what my scale at hoome said..(scale still reads 129kgs)
I almost wet my undies..but then she told me to remove those too..and i thought I better not do that..I was so happy..and couldnt believe that I had lost 10 kgs in just two weeks..not to mention I cheated..BIG TIME. Last night Gareth decided that I needed my one night out and took me out andI ate really good food and had a margarita. It was nice though.
At the hospital I met one of the girls who would be in my room and i began to panic because I didnt want to share a room with anyone..the embarassment, the lack of privacy ect...
Then they wheeled her away on her bed (Irene was her name) Then was next. I sat in the Theatre hallway for about half an hour and it is where I met my doctor and anestiest. Mind you the doctor is french and very very good looking...I think he knows it too!
Anyway it was cold so Iwas given a blanken then Irene came out and waved at me...I smiled..others came out of the other theatre rooms grogy looking and It just make me even more scared...then I was taken in the room and told to hop on the operating table...I began to ask all sorts of questions as I was being hooked up to this and that other...then I remember the anestests ask me "where are you from again?" and the smile...I new he had druged me up then because i said..I taste weired..and they were all smiling at me and the nurse rubed my head..and I dont remember anything after that untill I woke up in recovery. Now the recovery room was a different story. I think that the ladies in recovery rooms must hate their jobs because everytime I have been there they have been just plain MEAN to me...but my nurse was okay I suppose. I told her the pain was unbareable and she shot me with morphen about four times..and that helped a little. Then she came to check on me a few other times and the next thing I know i was being wheeled back to my room. When I got there Irene was there and another lady was there gtting dressed into her blue suit. (her name was Michelle) She had just arrived and I kind of didnt know what the heck was going on. All I knew was I wanted to see my hubby and I had to go wee. So i ranged his mobile and I heard it ringing from my room..he was juts waiting next door in the waiting area. I was so happy to see him. Then he took me to the toliet and helped me do what I needed to do. Then I got back in bed...IN PAIN! and dozed off. I woke up and sipped water and then dozed off ..this went on for about four hours or so...Gareth went off to get food and I got a chance to chat with some of the girls in my room and foudn that they were really nice ladies. Irene's sister had the band surgery just four weeks prior so she was a really big help. After awhile Michelle was wheeled off and came back about two hours later and she was really feeling the pain...she had a hard time the whole night all I could do was pray for her the whole time. The doctor had made up some lavendar/eucolyptus stuff for her to sniff on and off ...it really helped with the nausea feeling. It seemed like I was the only one who had to go wee every hour...and my drip wasnt even working...(I didnt notice that unitll about 10pm) My mouth was consistantly dry and I had to wee over and over and OVER again.
Then Gareth went home and I was sad because I didnt want to be left alone but then the unthinkable thappened...us three girls in the room began to chat it up across our beds as if it was a slumber pajama party. It was so fun to just chat and tell each other our stories and our views on life....I am so glad that I had roomates and not in a private room. I was worried for nothing. The only bad thing was the pressure pains that are at the top of your stomach. It was horriable. The three of us girls seem to have these pains flare up at the same time...or we had to wee near the same time too..so we would all dose off for a few hours then wake up...because maybe one of us were coughing and the other would say ARE YOU OKAY DEAR..and then we would then start up a chat for about half an hour then doze off..this happened all through the night five or six times...and when you were in pain we looked after one another by calling the nurse or helping each other with things..I must say kinda cool.

Early that morning we were forced to wake up..and have a shower...and that hurt like hell...then they gave us apple juice.
After the shower I felt a little better and the gas began to move around..I had walked around with Gareth that night so I though I should walk around again that morning. When I did the nurse told me that I was the only one who had walked around and even gotten myself up to go to the toliet..that I was very strong and independant and doing very well. I thought I was doing awful but hey..after awhile the french doctor came around and said hello and asked how we were and said we could go home (actually this was before the showers)
I called Gareth and told him to pick me up. The ride home was painful so when he droped me off he went out and got me childreans pandol, which is in a liquid form. So I diluted it with some water and siped that..it really helped. I was told to get some peperment water or peperment oil but the chemist didnt have any. So here I am now..the gas has started to move and even pass a little ...not too much pain and typing in the study. Back to the lounge soon though..or Gareth will kill me..
I will update more later