Jandell
March 4, 2009
Mar 04, 2009
I'm not perfect, far from it in fact.
At over 2 1/2 years post-op I can push the limits. I now do it with what we think are "healthier things" in place of the loads of crap I used to eat before surgery.
An example - I placed an order for some SF jams and honey that I use to cook with.The company sent a sample of some wonderful SF cookies. I tried one and loved it, so a little later I had another, and another, and then finally ate the last one. I was fine, I only felt guilty knowing I should have never have eating all of them.
Fast forward to a few hours later, I'm in pain, bloated and very gaseous, this lasted all night long. Oh my aching stomach!
I will always be a compulsive eater, I can admit that, but it's episodes like this one, that will make me think twice before I do it again. I know for a fact I will never touch another one of these SF delights!
Sugar free does not = fat free or pain free for me!
0 comments
At over 2 1/2 years post-op I can push the limits. I now do it with what we think are "healthier things" in place of the loads of crap I used to eat before surgery.
An example - I placed an order for some SF jams and honey that I use to cook with.The company sent a sample of some wonderful SF cookies. I tried one and loved it, so a little later I had another, and another, and then finally ate the last one. I was fine, I only felt guilty knowing I should have never have eating all of them.
Fast forward to a few hours later, I'm in pain, bloated and very gaseous, this lasted all night long. Oh my aching stomach!
I will always be a compulsive eater, I can admit that, but it's episodes like this one, that will make me think twice before I do it again. I know for a fact I will never touch another one of these SF delights!
Sugar free does not = fat free or pain free for me!
February 23, 2009
Feb 23, 2009
Rantings of a sleep deprived woman -
I'm struggling ... no matter how much sleep I try to get I never feel rested. I'm exhausted mentally and physically. I know I need to get in more exercise, but when do I have time? Do I get up at 4:15AM instead of 4:45AM?
I know I should be making better choices but I just don't have the time. What a crappy excuse that is! I don't even like the sound of it.
I know I need to put myself first, but have you tried to do that while taking care of someone? It sounds so easy.
Eating wise I'm still being good and avoiding sugar, but the carbs are slowly sneaking back in. Time to really look at things again and figure out if I want to allow myself to slide that slipper slope once again.
I worked too hard to get to were I am, I don't ever want to go back!!!!
I spend what time I have on the weekends cooking healthy meals to get us through the week, maybe I need to spend that cooking time on the treadmill instead!
2 comments
I'm struggling ... no matter how much sleep I try to get I never feel rested. I'm exhausted mentally and physically. I know I need to get in more exercise, but when do I have time? Do I get up at 4:15AM instead of 4:45AM?
I know I should be making better choices but I just don't have the time. What a crappy excuse that is! I don't even like the sound of it.
I know I need to put myself first, but have you tried to do that while taking care of someone? It sounds so easy.
Eating wise I'm still being good and avoiding sugar, but the carbs are slowly sneaking back in. Time to really look at things again and figure out if I want to allow myself to slide that slipper slope once again.
I worked too hard to get to were I am, I don't ever want to go back!!!!
I spend what time I have on the weekends cooking healthy meals to get us through the week, maybe I need to spend that cooking time on the treadmill instead!
January 8, 2009
Jan 08, 2009
Every day is getting a bit tougher, but I'm getting through them best I can.
Mom is getting worse and I know I won't have her here much longer. Last Friday Lifeline called that she had fallen (she refuses to let anyone stay with her yet so hospice installed Lifeline), they wanted to know if I could go over, of course! We jumped in the car and drove through crazy thick fog to her house. She was sitting on the floor near her bed and just didn't have the strength to pull herself up. She was fine though once we got her up. Thank goodness for the Lifeline and hospice!
I have wonderful angels that are taking turns going over everyday during the week to fix her lunch and visit while I'm at work. It helps take some of the pressure off me.
During all this I'm struggling to make good food choices and I find I'm not getting in as much protein as I know I should be. I'm not as prepared as I once was and I know it's because of everything going on. I'm running 2 houses basically. I'm staying the same weight wise, playing with the same few pounds going up and down.
I don't make time for exercise but I do take my vitamins religiously!
Here I am almost 2 1/2 years out and last Saturday I had a crazy nasty dumping spell, makes me Thank God for this tool I was given! Hubby and I were running errands and stopped for lunch. I had the choice between Carl's JR oe El Pollo Loco. Of course I made the bad choice and picked Carl's JR because I saw the 2 Famous Stars for $3. Hubby isn't a Carl's fan but agreed to go rather hesitantly to say the least.
I took off half the bun and ate between 1/2 to 3/4 of the rest. We went home and I dropped hubby off and headed to the grocery store. As I'm walking around shopping the pain hit low in my belly. I wasn't sure at first if I would even be able to walk to the restroom, but finally did. I thought I about pooped my guts out (sorry TMI), and then went to finish my shopping. No go, the pain hit again and this time I got cleaned out for sure. UGH!
There is a reason I do not eat fast food and now I know it for sure!
2 comments
Mom is getting worse and I know I won't have her here much longer. Last Friday Lifeline called that she had fallen (she refuses to let anyone stay with her yet so hospice installed Lifeline), they wanted to know if I could go over, of course! We jumped in the car and drove through crazy thick fog to her house. She was sitting on the floor near her bed and just didn't have the strength to pull herself up. She was fine though once we got her up. Thank goodness for the Lifeline and hospice!
I have wonderful angels that are taking turns going over everyday during the week to fix her lunch and visit while I'm at work. It helps take some of the pressure off me.
During all this I'm struggling to make good food choices and I find I'm not getting in as much protein as I know I should be. I'm not as prepared as I once was and I know it's because of everything going on. I'm running 2 houses basically. I'm staying the same weight wise, playing with the same few pounds going up and down.
I don't make time for exercise but I do take my vitamins religiously!
Here I am almost 2 1/2 years out and last Saturday I had a crazy nasty dumping spell, makes me Thank God for this tool I was given! Hubby and I were running errands and stopped for lunch. I had the choice between Carl's JR oe El Pollo Loco. Of course I made the bad choice and picked Carl's JR because I saw the 2 Famous Stars for $3. Hubby isn't a Carl's fan but agreed to go rather hesitantly to say the least.
I took off half the bun and ate between 1/2 to 3/4 of the rest. We went home and I dropped hubby off and headed to the grocery store. As I'm walking around shopping the pain hit low in my belly. I wasn't sure at first if I would even be able to walk to the restroom, but finally did. I thought I about pooped my guts out (sorry TMI), and then went to finish my shopping. No go, the pain hit again and this time I got cleaned out for sure. UGH!
There is a reason I do not eat fast food and now I know it for sure!
January 5, 2009
Jan 05, 2009
Wow 2009! Here's how my year is starting -
Last night I took an Ambien before going to bed, now this is a regular thing for me unless we're traveling, don't know why but I decided long ago not to take them along on trips.
So with my previous history I know that I need to go to bed right after I take a pill or I wander around as my husband says" like a drunken fool!" I went to bed, but needed to put away clothes that I hadn't yet folded. That's all I remember.
This morning I woke up about 2:30AM to go potty and was very sore, my back ached like crazy. I went to the kitchen to get some Tylenol and noticed a SF cherry puff thing I baked last night had a chunk missing, thought that was strange since hubby doesn't like cherry stuff. I was planning to take it to my Mom. I went back to bed but was suddenly very worried I might have been the one that ate it, after that I couldn't sleep.
When the alarm went off at 4:45 I got up to fix hubby breakfast. I then asked him if he'd eaten the cherry thing. He looked at me like I was nuts! He said - you honestly don't remember? Nope. So he proceeded to tell me how I was folding clothes and suddenly went off to the kitchen, on my way there I first walked into the wall. When I came back he said I hit the wall a few times again and then fell over the laundry basket on the floor. I lay there laughing for a bit and then crawled up into bed and kissed hubby. Then I rolled over and went to sleep. He said I was very happy the entire time, laughing away.
My worst fear came true, I ate and have no memory of doing it at all. Never in my life have I done something like that before. I can tell you all it's not going to happen again! I'd rather get NO sleep than to have that happen and I will be stopping the ambien. Scary, scary thing to think everything I've worked so hard for can be blown by just taking a sleeping pill! It stops now.
1 comment
Last night I took an Ambien before going to bed, now this is a regular thing for me unless we're traveling, don't know why but I decided long ago not to take them along on trips.
So with my previous history I know that I need to go to bed right after I take a pill or I wander around as my husband says" like a drunken fool!" I went to bed, but needed to put away clothes that I hadn't yet folded. That's all I remember.
This morning I woke up about 2:30AM to go potty and was very sore, my back ached like crazy. I went to the kitchen to get some Tylenol and noticed a SF cherry puff thing I baked last night had a chunk missing, thought that was strange since hubby doesn't like cherry stuff. I was planning to take it to my Mom. I went back to bed but was suddenly very worried I might have been the one that ate it, after that I couldn't sleep.
When the alarm went off at 4:45 I got up to fix hubby breakfast. I then asked him if he'd eaten the cherry thing. He looked at me like I was nuts! He said - you honestly don't remember? Nope. So he proceeded to tell me how I was folding clothes and suddenly went off to the kitchen, on my way there I first walked into the wall. When I came back he said I hit the wall a few times again and then fell over the laundry basket on the floor. I lay there laughing for a bit and then crawled up into bed and kissed hubby. Then I rolled over and went to sleep. He said I was very happy the entire time, laughing away.
My worst fear came true, I ate and have no memory of doing it at all. Never in my life have I done something like that before. I can tell you all it's not going to happen again! I'd rather get NO sleep than to have that happen and I will be stopping the ambien. Scary, scary thing to think everything I've worked so hard for can be blown by just taking a sleeping pill! It stops now.
December 8, 2008
Dec 08, 2008
Wow, can't believe it's been so long since I posted.
We spent Thanksgiving week on a family cruise to Mexico, it was wonderful! My Mom had a family trip on her "bucket list" and she treated all of us to this cruise.
We did so many things, swimming with the dolphins had to be the tops of my list. It was just such an amazing experience. My brother, husband and 7 year old niece went with me and we all had fun. When we first jumped in the water Hannah didn't realize it was salt water, she came up sputtering and coughing and started whinning. She wasn't happy and the trainer saw what was going on and sent "our" dolphin over to her. It was fun to see her instantly get happy as he nudged her. We were in with them for 40 minutes and we all got treated to a ride around the pool. When we got out we got "sea lion kisses" what a cool day!
We had some wonderful family portraits taken on formal night, pictures we will all treasure for years to come.
Can't say I'm a cruise type of person, it's very hard for me to actually relax. I was treated to a full body massage and facial and let me tell you that's one way to relax for sure!
Food was ok, I wasn't that impressed, between not eating that much and walking a ton I came home 5 pounds less than when I left! Now that's always a good thing!
Life has been very busy for me these days. I'm stopping by to help my Mom daily, and unfortunately she's just slowly going down hill. On Saturday Hospice nurses came to evaluate her and add her into their program. I'm glad to have the help it will take some of the burden off me. I was very surprised at all they actually do for her, from DR's visiting her at the house to medication being shipped directly to her. I won't be running last a crazy person all over town.
Mom is such a special person, and it breaks my heart to see her getting sicker. She's amazing at dealing with the fact she has terminal cancer. She of course has her down moments but we've had some good long talks/cries. I think the fact that she's a Christian is helping her deal with this the most. She talks of all the people she'll soon be seeing. I thank God everyday for the fact she's not in pain.
We spent Thanksgiving week on a family cruise to Mexico, it was wonderful! My Mom had a family trip on her "bucket list" and she treated all of us to this cruise.
We did so many things, swimming with the dolphins had to be the tops of my list. It was just such an amazing experience. My brother, husband and 7 year old niece went with me and we all had fun. When we first jumped in the water Hannah didn't realize it was salt water, she came up sputtering and coughing and started whinning. She wasn't happy and the trainer saw what was going on and sent "our" dolphin over to her. It was fun to see her instantly get happy as he nudged her. We were in with them for 40 minutes and we all got treated to a ride around the pool. When we got out we got "sea lion kisses" what a cool day!
We had some wonderful family portraits taken on formal night, pictures we will all treasure for years to come.
Can't say I'm a cruise type of person, it's very hard for me to actually relax. I was treated to a full body massage and facial and let me tell you that's one way to relax for sure!
Food was ok, I wasn't that impressed, between not eating that much and walking a ton I came home 5 pounds less than when I left! Now that's always a good thing!
Life has been very busy for me these days. I'm stopping by to help my Mom daily, and unfortunately she's just slowly going down hill. On Saturday Hospice nurses came to evaluate her and add her into their program. I'm glad to have the help it will take some of the burden off me. I was very surprised at all they actually do for her, from DR's visiting her at the house to medication being shipped directly to her. I won't be running last a crazy person all over town.
Mom is such a special person, and it breaks my heart to see her getting sicker. She's amazing at dealing with the fact she has terminal cancer. She of course has her down moments but we've had some good long talks/cries. I think the fact that she's a Christian is helping her deal with this the most. She talks of all the people she'll soon be seeing. I thank God everyday for the fact she's not in pain.
December 8, 2008
Dec 08, 2008
Wow, can't believe it's been so long since I posted.
We spent Thanksgiving week on a family cruise to Mexico, it was wonderful! My Mom had a family trip on her "bucket list" and she treated all of us to this cruise.
We did so many things, swimming with the dolphins had to be the tops of my list. It was just such an amazing experience. My brother, husband and 7 year old niece went with me and we all had fun. When we first jumped in the water Hannah didn't realize it was salt water, she came up sputtering and coughing and started winning. She wasn't happy and the trainer saw what was going on and sent "our" dolphin over to her. It was fun to see her instantly get happy as he nudged her. We were in with them for 40 minutes and we all got treated to a ride around the pool. When we got out we got "sea lion kisses" what a cool day!
We had some wonderful family portraits taken on formal night, pictures we will all treasure for years to come.
Can't say I'm a cruise type of person, it's very hard for me to actually relax. I was treated to a full body massage and facial and let me tell you that's one way to relax for sure!
Food was ok, I wasn't that impressed, between not eating that much and walking a ton I came home 5 pounds less than when I left! Now that's always a good thing!
Life has been very busy for me these days. I'm stopping by to help my Mom daily, and unfortunately she's just slowly going down hill. On Saturday Hospice nurses came to evaluate her and add her into their program. I'm glad to have the help it will take some of the burden off me. I was very surprised at all they actually do for her, from DR's visiting her at the house to medication being shipped directly to her. I won't be running last a crazy person all over town.
Mom is such a special person, and it breaks my heart to see her getting sicker. She's amazing at dealing with the fact she has terminal cancer. She of course has her down moments but we've had some good long talks/cries. I think the fact that she's a Christian is helping her deal with this the most. She talks of all the people she'll soon be seeing. I thank God everyday for the fact she's not in pain.
We spent Thanksgiving week on a family cruise to Mexico, it was wonderful! My Mom had a family trip on her "bucket list" and she treated all of us to this cruise.
We did so many things, swimming with the dolphins had to be the tops of my list. It was just such an amazing experience. My brother, husband and 7 year old niece went with me and we all had fun. When we first jumped in the water Hannah didn't realize it was salt water, she came up sputtering and coughing and started winning. She wasn't happy and the trainer saw what was going on and sent "our" dolphin over to her. It was fun to see her instantly get happy as he nudged her. We were in with them for 40 minutes and we all got treated to a ride around the pool. When we got out we got "sea lion kisses" what a cool day!
We had some wonderful family portraits taken on formal night, pictures we will all treasure for years to come.
Can't say I'm a cruise type of person, it's very hard for me to actually relax. I was treated to a full body massage and facial and let me tell you that's one way to relax for sure!
Food was ok, I wasn't that impressed, between not eating that much and walking a ton I came home 5 pounds less than when I left! Now that's always a good thing!
Life has been very busy for me these days. I'm stopping by to help my Mom daily, and unfortunately she's just slowly going down hill. On Saturday Hospice nurses came to evaluate her and add her into their program. I'm glad to have the help it will take some of the burden off me. I was very surprised at all they actually do for her, from DR's visiting her at the house to medication being shipped directly to her. I won't be running last a crazy person all over town.
Mom is such a special person, and it breaks my heart to see her getting sicker. She's amazing at dealing with the fact she has terminal cancer. She of course has her down moments but we've had some good long talks/cries. I think the fact that she's a Christian is helping her deal with this the most. She talks of all the people she'll soon be seeing. I thank God everyday for the fact she's not in pain.
November 5, 2008
Nov 05, 2008
Went to the OH LA Conference this weekend and had a blast! I knew it was going to be fun, but then when we ran into Jean near Starbucks I had no doubt!
It only got funnier when Ron Lester introduce himself to us and decided to hang with us older women. Of course he told Jean she was a MILF and the fun began.
Michele and I decided to fullfill Eggface's (Shelly) childhood dream and we brought her an Easybake oven. I swear she was so excited when she opened it up and saw what it was, made the weekend highlights list for sure.
LittleMichele and I roomed together and then it turned out the Becky and Carol's roomie didn't show up so they joined us in our room! Great roomies for sure.
The Halloween party was a hoot, costumes were fantastic and it was fun seeing everyone have so much fun.
I loved the speakers and meeting the vendors. Must say it was sad when it all came to an end. I'll be sure to be back at another one though.
It only got funnier when Ron Lester introduce himself to us and decided to hang with us older women. Of course he told Jean she was a MILF and the fun began.
Michele and I decided to fullfill Eggface's (Shelly) childhood dream and we brought her an Easybake oven. I swear she was so excited when she opened it up and saw what it was, made the weekend highlights list for sure.
LittleMichele and I roomed together and then it turned out the Becky and Carol's roomie didn't show up so they joined us in our room! Great roomies for sure.
The Halloween party was a hoot, costumes were fantastic and it was fun seeing everyone have so much fun.
I loved the speakers and meeting the vendors. Must say it was sad when it all came to an end. I'll be sure to be back at another one though.
September 18, 2008
Sep 18, 2008
Life has been so busy and I've been so bad about keeping up here, I'm going to work hard on changing that!
We found out 2 weeks ago that my Mom has stomach cancer. Tomorrow they are going to remove part of her stomach and hopefully all the cancer. Dr told us he had no clue until he gets in at how much will be removed. Mom said to me, "hey maybe I'll get skinny like you!" She's trying so hard to have a good outlook, but I know she's been very down. She's also had some nasty back problems this last week and hasn't been able to move around much.
I just finished OH Support Group Training the beginning of the month and held my first support group meeting. I thought it went really well and we all enjoyed ourselves. I'm looking forward to the next meeting.
I finally realized in just the last few weeks that I'm normal sized now, it's weird, but when I meet new people they have no clue how fat I was before, and it's up to me if I want to tell them or not. That's sorta cool in my book. Amazing how these things just suddenly dawn on you and make you smile. I went on a "girls weekend" with 4 girlfriends last month to the local beach area. We had a great time and while on the Pier I ran into my first boyfriend, OK, so he was more than that, he was the one guy that I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. We dated on and off for 10 years until finally I decided he'd never make up his mind. When I spotted him I walked up to him and just said his name, he was so surprised, said he would have never recognized me, but it was my voice that he'd never forget. I weighed at least 230+ the last time I saw him. Turns out he's been married and divorced and he's alone now. It felt good to look better, be happily married to my best friend (almost 18 years) and to be successful in my career. It was sorta like saying hey, I made it through life without you! A very good feeling.
We found out 2 weeks ago that my Mom has stomach cancer. Tomorrow they are going to remove part of her stomach and hopefully all the cancer. Dr told us he had no clue until he gets in at how much will be removed. Mom said to me, "hey maybe I'll get skinny like you!" She's trying so hard to have a good outlook, but I know she's been very down. She's also had some nasty back problems this last week and hasn't been able to move around much.
I just finished OH Support Group Training the beginning of the month and held my first support group meeting. I thought it went really well and we all enjoyed ourselves. I'm looking forward to the next meeting.
I finally realized in just the last few weeks that I'm normal sized now, it's weird, but when I meet new people they have no clue how fat I was before, and it's up to me if I want to tell them or not. That's sorta cool in my book. Amazing how these things just suddenly dawn on you and make you smile. I went on a "girls weekend" with 4 girlfriends last month to the local beach area. We had a great time and while on the Pier I ran into my first boyfriend, OK, so he was more than that, he was the one guy that I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. We dated on and off for 10 years until finally I decided he'd never make up his mind. When I spotted him I walked up to him and just said his name, he was so surprised, said he would have never recognized me, but it was my voice that he'd never forget. I weighed at least 230+ the last time I saw him. Turns out he's been married and divorced and he's alone now. It felt good to look better, be happily married to my best friend (almost 18 years) and to be successful in my career. It was sorta like saying hey, I made it through life without you! A very good feeling.
July 14, 2008
Jul 16, 2008
Two year checkup today, wow, can you believe it?
Got wonderful results, all blood tests were perfect, the DR was so pleased. She told me to keep on doing just what I'm doing because it's working.
We talked about the fear of gaining and how that could be a good thing to help keep me in line. We also talked about exercise, she said that the patient that gain weight are the ones not exercising or the ones that have never started. It's a very important fact for maintaining the weight loss.
She told me the national average from the American Bariatric Assoc. is 70% of excess weight loss. I've now lost 75% of my excess, more could come off with plastics but I'm just not there quite yet. As we were leaving she told me she keeps lists, I'm already on her complication list, but now I was going on her "Doing very well" list. That made me happy.
I also had my 2 week follow-up after the hysterectomy and all is well there too, a bit of an infection, but it's easily treated. Still off work for another week.
Got wonderful results, all blood tests were perfect, the DR was so pleased. She told me to keep on doing just what I'm doing because it's working.
We talked about the fear of gaining and how that could be a good thing to help keep me in line. We also talked about exercise, she said that the patient that gain weight are the ones not exercising or the ones that have never started. It's a very important fact for maintaining the weight loss.
She told me the national average from the American Bariatric Assoc. is 70% of excess weight loss. I've now lost 75% of my excess, more could come off with plastics but I'm just not there quite yet. As we were leaving she told me she keeps lists, I'm already on her complication list, but now I was going on her "Doing very well" list. That made me happy.
I also had my 2 week follow-up after the hysterectomy and all is well there too, a bit of an infection, but it's easily treated. Still off work for another week.
June 26, 2008
Jun 26, 2008
Went today and had blood drawn for my 2 year follow-up appointment. Can't believe it's coming so fast.
On a good day I'm down 200 pounds from where I began but most of the time I run between 195-197 lost. I weight 177 on average.
I'm wearing size 12 pants and anywhere from a M to XXL shirt depending on the cut.
Eating wise I still haven't venture to the land of sugar. I stick to my own rule and try to never go above 12 grams of sugar, but aim for no more than 8 most of the time. I can now take a few bites of bread or potatoes at the end of a meal. Still haven't had a sandwich, maybe a bite or two here or there. Rice does not agree with me, so I stay away. Nothing else bothers me that much anymore. I still stay away from things too high in fat since that's what I've dumped off of twice. Bacon is something I've yet to try, and have no desire too.
We're off to the River this weekend. I figure it'll keep my mind off of surgery coming up on Tuesday. I have pre-op stuff at the hospital early Monday morning, then plan to get the house cleaned and the fridge stocked.
Tuesday morning I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 AM, not too bad since the hospital is across the street and we're normally up that early.
On a good day I'm down 200 pounds from where I began but most of the time I run between 195-197 lost. I weight 177 on average.
I'm wearing size 12 pants and anywhere from a M to XXL shirt depending on the cut.
Eating wise I still haven't venture to the land of sugar. I stick to my own rule and try to never go above 12 grams of sugar, but aim for no more than 8 most of the time. I can now take a few bites of bread or potatoes at the end of a meal. Still haven't had a sandwich, maybe a bite or two here or there. Rice does not agree with me, so I stay away. Nothing else bothers me that much anymore. I still stay away from things too high in fat since that's what I've dumped off of twice. Bacon is something I've yet to try, and have no desire too.
We're off to the River this weekend. I figure it'll keep my mind off of surgery coming up on Tuesday. I have pre-op stuff at the hospital early Monday morning, then plan to get the house cleaned and the fridge stocked.
Tuesday morning I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 AM, not too bad since the hospital is across the street and we're normally up that early.
About Me
Glendora, CA
Location
30.4
BMI
Surgery
07/17/2006
Surgery Date
Jun 14, 2006
Member Since
