Lisa B.
I am exploring the idea of having surgery.(duh LOL) I have a very hard time with asking for the help as I have been treated poorly by doctors and got the "well just eat less and you'll lose weight" lecture.
Honestly I have no idea what i weigh I have been refusing to step on a scale for about 4 years. I imagine about 320-340
Well I went to my PCP for a physical..I weigh 335 and I asked her if she would refer me for WLS and she said that she has to refer me to Weight mamagement as they are the ones who refer and approve for that
This is me at the largest I dare have my picture taken I think I actually was bigger but I ran from cameras and tore up pictures that did get taken
L.B 335 5'5" 56 BMI
-Knee pain,-Gone
-urinary incontinance,Gone
-depression, (being treated with Zoloft)
TANIKA READ INFO updated 1/22/04
This is cool my original Tanika reading was on 3/24/2003
pre/ now
weight-349-193
BMI-59.0- 32.2
Fat%-55.00%-36%
Fat Mass-192 pounds-70 lbs
Fat Free Mass lean body tissue-157 pounds-123 lbs
Total Body water-115 pounds-90 pounds
Physical stuff Pre-op
(In print it is hard to deny and it is time to come clean with the truth I need this surgery or I will die)
neck- 17-11.5 =5.5" lost
breast- 60-36 = 26" lost
under breast- 54-33 21" lost
waist-54-26 = 28" lost
stomach-63-34 =29" lost
hips-54-34 =20" lost
R upper thigh L
32-18 = 14" lost 31-18 = 13" lost
18-14 4" lost Calf 18-14 =4 " lost
18-10 8" upper arm 19-10 9"
wrist-8-6 2" wrist 8-6 2"
177.5 INCHES GONE (that is over 14.7 feet!!!)
197 pounds lost so far(that is more than the weight of my 13 y/o son and more than 1/2 of my former weight..I weigh less than 1/2 of what I use ta...dang!!!!and I got 1&1/2" taller from 5'4.5" to 5'6"
-asthma,-GONE
-all over ouchies-GONE
-Edema-Gone
-heel pain-GONE
-got a hernia now too-FIXED...-have a new hernia..oh well guess that means a tummy tuck..yeah right Kaiser!!!!
-failed diets and ever increasing regains-not now LOL
-sick of feeling terrible-feeling great
-it is not a size thing-released from bondage
-Have Kaiser ins and am starting to seek out getting WLS
-This is in GOD'S Hands.......not my doctor's
(regardless of Kaiser Permanente advertising)
and oh yes I have been in God's hands..Praise His Name
New thing found out that I am still anemic so gotta take that yucky iron
Great news got an appointment with the kaiser doc that refers for WLS 4-12
Well I went to the Preventive Med doctor today to start the "official process" . The nurse told me that there is a 1-2 year wait...OMG that is long. I was weighed.blood pressure was taken and I was measured. I had to wait a long time to see the MD.I learned a few things,he first started out and told me all of the bad things like about patients that died and or committed suicide and about complications etc etc. He also told me that the average weight loss for a woman was 85 lbs**UPDATE WELL I GUESS I AM NOT AVERAGE LOL** (I thought that it was more but he is the MD). He told me that he has to submit my case to LA and that they have to approve it. He told me that my BMI over 50 is a qualifing condition but it helps a person's case to have a few conditions that could be helped by losing weight. I was told that if I gain a bunch of weight that they will cancel the WLS and they recommend that I try to lose 10% of my pre-op weight makes the surgery easier and also means less to lose post op. I was told that if I am still anemic that they would not do the surgery. I was also told to call the mental health dept and get a MMPI Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory . I was also told to begin taking chewable vitamins. So I am on my way.....and I think that everything is for my benefit and I will choose to begin better eating habits,increase the good stuff and hopefully lose the 35 lbs that i need to lose..
9-02
Lets see I went to the nutritionist and she was a skinny condesending meanie. She treated me like I was stupid and fat.
I sent in my 3 day food diary and will see another nutritionist soon.
I guess that I am about halfway thru the Kaiser process. The prevent med doc is not really pro WLS as he is a Vegan (total vegatarian) and says that if I'd go vegan I'd lose my weight fast and never be hungry. But he does not seem to see that it is more than just what I eat it is a multi-facited illness that is not at all related to self control...
I am kind of happy about something I measured my stomach and have found that i have lost 3 inches. I have been doing some exercise WOW neat results..which I had a scale to weigh myself with.
10-2
Hi,
Good news On Monday I saw the preventive medicine doctor at Kaiser and he filled out the referal for Gastric by pass. I will hear the desicion in a month. I am excited and scared. more good news lost 5 pounds..woo hoo
01-29-2003-
Today I got a letter from Pacific Bariatric saying that Kaiser has referred me and they have received an authorization..WOOOOO HOOOOO
03-08-2003
Today after making sure all of my labs are finished and all of the releases are signed at Kaiser and were mailed to Pacific Bariatric I got the letter for the 3 appointments at Pacific Bariatric in San Diego...I will be seeing Dr.Leo Murphy and an Internist and a psychiatrist.The day for those appointments is 3-24 I am nervous and excited
3-29-03
I had my consult at pacific Baricatric last monday 3-24 with Dr.Leo Murphy. What a day!!!! Aunt Flo decided to show up....and with a vengence..nothing worse than being 100 miles from home and unprepared on a really stressful day,,,,got weighed on the Tanita scale that measures body fat etc not a pretty pic
03-08-2003
Today after making sure all of my labs are finished and all of the releases are signed at Kaiser and were mailed to Pacific Bariatric I got the letter for the 3 appointments at Pacific Bariatric in San Diego...I will be seeing Dr.Leo Murphy and an Internist and a psychiatrist.The day for those appointments is 3-24 I am nervous and excited
3-29-03
I had my consult at pacific Baricatric last monday 3-24 with Dr.Leo Murphy. What a day!!!! Aunt Flo decided to show up....and with a vengence..nothing worse than being 100 miles from home and unprepared on a really stressful day,,,,got weighed on the Tanita scale that measures body fat etc not a pretty pic
4-16-2003
One thing that I was required to do by Dr.Murphy
to get a surgery date is to lose 19 pounds and join a gym and work out at least four hours a week drink procomplex twice a day and eat one hi protein low carb meal a day..I am doing well...I have lost 14.5 pounds so far and feeling great and will be going to the seminar on 4-24 to get a Tanita Reading to see if my file will get sent to surgery scheduling..
4/23/2003 well I went to the PB patient Clinic to get a Tanita reading to see if I have lost the required weight so that Dr.Leo will sign me off for Surgery...WOO HOO I weighed 329 that means I have lost not only 19 but 20 pounds since the surgeon consult.
I faxed the stuff to Pacific Bariatric.
4/26 I stepped on the scales at Curves today (adjusting for the fact that their scales weigh 2 pounds light) I have lost 3 more pounds I am down to 326...OMG 3 pounds in 3 days and I am still preop wow
5/1/03-stepped on the beloved scales at Curves and I am down 29 pounds..WOO HOO.....I have been working out and loving it. I am doing 150 -200 crunches a day and doing a 1 mile walk off the pounds too.. I am one determined woman..and I fit into size 24 non stretch jeans today..damn that felt great!!!!!!!!!!!(
5/4/03)
5/8 meausred myself I am down 27 inches total dang......and 32 lbs total
5/17 well no new weight update except from last week 35 #s and total " are now 39 " I am now about 31 days from my re-birthday..it sure is dragging...LOL..not really but I think I need to use this time to reflect. I am enjoying eating salads and healthy stuff.I think I will miss that stuff post op..last tuesday we went out to eat at Claim Jumper for DH's B-day and belated Mother's day (DH works weekends) and I ordered soup and was stuffed and also DH got the customary b-day mud pie b-day freebie cake and I took 4 small bites and I swear I was sugar tweaked from it (3 months no sugar you sure feel sugar rush and feel like crap the next day) sugar suks!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me and my MIL watched my DH and 13 y/o son stuff themselves with a whole chili size and they were both belching and just so bloated from eating all that food and my MIL and I were quite full from our bowls of soup. I am so ready for this surgery..looking at all that food and seeing people just stuffing themselves and seeing the price I have paid for satisfying my gut....I am so sorry that I suffer from this darn disease of morbid obesity I have begun to hate food..food is the enemy the evil one but with this surgery I will life and win the battle I know that it will not be a snap but it is a tool that will be a great gift that will be my safety and help WOOOO HOOOO
6/7/2003-Well here I am about 11 days before my surgery. I went to Curves today to work out and the scale said 300 pounds WOO HOO that means that I am down 49 pounds since 3/24. I really want to be below 300 for my surgery. It is funny I remember when Dr.Leo Murphy told me that I needed to lose 19 pounds to be scheduled for the surgery and I thought that I could never make that. To me it looked like and impossible task. Now I know God's Word Nothing is Impossible with God..but I also knew how much I enjoy food..but somewhere along the line I knew that I had to do it...I started doing what I had to do..I really started drinking the procomplex eating protein and exercising and the fat just melted off....I am amazed and I praise God....I feel so much better just with this small loss....I look better too my face looks better my eyes are brighter my complexion is better and I am just happier......I am excited about my surgery..I am exercising my abdominal muscles and hopefully my body will heal well from the surgery. I am hoping that the preparation and the will that I have will help me recover fast..I tend to be a fast to recover person. I have a high pain threshold and rarely require much in the way of pain meds.I invision myself walking around the ward alot that is my plan I just see it in my mind. I remember post op after my second son C-section I was walking all over the place pushing him...and after 2 days was begging to go home..(they let me hee hee)well I have babbled long here bye
6/17/2003-well today we go to San Diego for the preop stuff I am nervous and excited
7/1/2003
Well Here I am almost 2 weeks out and I am down about 18 pounds according to my scale and total of 72 pounds and 70& 1/2 inches total WOW since starting my preop loss WOW that is a lot of size.I feel pretty good not hungry at all. No head hunger.
7/8/2003
Tomorrow is my 3 week WLS anniversary and I am down 28 pounds since surgery and a total of 78 pounds since I starting losing wieght and a total of 81 inches..I am in shock. I decided to start drinking 2 protein drinks a day and am considering food at this point to be my medicine as otherwise I would never eat...no appetite..which is weird to my head which has no hunger either. I stared seriously walking as well I did 2 miles at the park and I was surprised how effortless it was for me,I remembered how hard it used to be for me to do 1/4 of a mile there LOL..as a matter of fact it is amazing and exciting to me how much difference the weight loss is making in my life getting out of chairs ,out of bed is so much easier now...I am so excited life is so great and I am not even at the 1/2 point yet.
Life is good
7/16/2003-Well the past week was hard last wednesday I started throwing up everything I ate. I had had some trouble before,pain upon taking my meds,pain from eating and drinking but as of wednesday it got pretty bad. I was pretty much barfing up everything. I thought it odd to drink water and it to come up with foam. I called Pacific Bariatric and relayed the info. I was able to take small sips of water so the nurse told me to be careful and sip and that if it got worse to call back. The next day she called me back and said that she wanted me to come in to see Dr.Leo Murphy on Monday and that if things get worse to call the on call surgeon. She also told me that I should go to Kaiser to get some IV fluids if I felt that I was getting dehydrated. I did go to Kaiser that day. I had to wait about 4 hours and they did give me about 1/2 a bag of IV fluids but my labs came back that I was not dehydrated. Part of everything was terrible nausea and the KP MD had given me some medication IV (phenergan) and wrote me a perscription for Tigan..capsules really dumb...a patient that can not keep down water and he wrote a RX for capsules...grrrrrrrrrr ( yes I did call member services and complained) so anyhow I went home and slept and then on saturday it got so bad if I took a sip of water up it came so I was at the point of only wetting my mouth and that would bring on gagging (I probably should of called the on call surgeon but the though of going to Kaiser and having a KP doctor consult with at Pacific Bariatric surgeon and the KP doc do anything to me was too scary for me)So I waited and suffered...Finally monday came...My Mother in Law and our family friend Mary drove me to San Diego...I was seemingly in and out of it..we got to Pacific Bariatric and it seemed forever to get up the elevators..I got up to the office and signed in and waited..got weighed and did not even woo hoo about my loss..I got into the room and waited for Dr.Leo Murphy, he came in and asked me what was going on and I told him. He asked questions about my symptoms and then showed me the diagram that he had drew me at the consult and showed me that he believed that I could have a stricture and that he wanted me to go over to the hospital and that a Dr.Epsten is a very good man and that he will fix the problem.He told me that it is very easy to fix and all. So we went across the street to Mercy Hospital and had to go the ER enterance and they were telling me it was going to be 3-4 hours....OMG..So I called a family friend and asked for prayer and guess what at about 5 minutes to one a lady comes out looking for me saying that I have a 1pm appointment for and Endocscopy..teehee God is good.
So I go back and fill out some paperwork and then go into this room and they started and IV and put in some happy juice (I forget the name of the stuff but was explained that it is similar to Demerol and Valium) and then I was told to lay on my left side the Gastro-ent-doc comes in Dr.Epsten comes in and sprayed my throat with this numbing spray and told me to swallow ughhhhhhhh and then and second time..the next thing I new there was a cap thing on my mouth and I looked up at this screen and there was this red inside stuff up on it and I asked them is that me and they said yes...I kind of faded after that..next thing I knew I asked if I could lay on my back and then it was like 3 pm and they told me that when I woke up I could have ice chips..I then asked was it a stricture and I was told yes it was..SO now I can drink and eat..I asked if they come back and they told me it is rare well....I think it might be already I hope not
ps I am also down 85 inches and 86 pounds...WOW
aug 9 2003
OK update on my 21 days in the hosp
I have had quite an experience over these past 3 weeks...It all started with me not feeling able to eat....I could not explain it but something just did not feel right. The nasea was constant,after about being 24 days post nothing would stay down,I went to see Dr.Leo Murphy at Pacific Bariatric and he sent me over to Mercy hosp for a Endoscopy to check for a stricture....yup I had one..so I was sent home expecting all to be well,well not so by Thursday the vomiting was back and I was sicker than a dog....Since Dr.Leo was in surgery,Dr.Mary Murphy,Dr.Leo's daughter and partner admiited me to the Hosp...I had to wait until 9 pm to get a bed as they were so busy and Mercy Hosp..While we were waiting to in admitting to get a bed Dr.Leo came by and told me that he was going to get them going and get a bed ASAP that i had been made to wait too long..He also introduced himself to my family,gave me a hug and told me not to be afraid as he was going to be whatever it took to find out the cause of my nausea and vomiting.
Finally I got a room and was getting settled in and all..then surprise I was told that I had to drink this huge cup of gross thin barium andthen would be getting a CT scan after that. They had given me this medication to make me not vomit,the same stuff they give cancer patients having chemo..so I was able to force the stuff down then I had the CT scan..pretty interesting especially when they put in the stuff that outlines your insides..pretty neat to see my insides...Later that day I had to have an upper GI series xray with more barium..not fun was like a roller coaster from HE(the other place) Then I also ended up having a total of 4 more endoscopies making the total 5 in about 10 days..NOT fun in fact De.Epsten told me that if he had to do another he'd sign my stomach..LOL I asked him would it be in blood and he told me for sure LOL(he was a really cool doc) The weekend went by lots of nausea and feeling like crap (boy was I in for an awakenings re feeling like crap) So Monday morning Upper GI # 2 but this time more to it like having to lay still for 20 minutes at a time for the real barium( no the thin stuff ) to coat my insides. Finally done but had to return later for more xrays..Dr.Epsten came to tell me that there was a fissula,a tear,leak from my new stomach into my old stomach but his response was that he'd let Dr.Murphy deal with that one...The next day Dr.L Murphy came and told me and explained to me the news.....not good I would most likely need another surgery..but he was going to try something first a gastro tube inserted to see if that might relieve the nausea etc...
Now this is ugly...getting a gastro tube inserted is probably the worst and most painful thing ever..I was given stadation (a mix of valium and Demerol) and several pushes on my Morphine PCA....OK so here is what happens the radiologist doc cuts you then takes this blunt looking scapel and puntures a hole in you it took 4 more doses of the happy juice to get me thru it and about 6 more pushes on my PCA..I am talking freeking OUCH..ok so then back to my hosp room in abject pain and then the next day the thing just falls out..Dr.Leo told me that it was probably too close to my ribs..so it was decided that I would have surgery that Thursday..Dr.Leo told me that it was a long hard surgery and that I had many adheasions he had to us dye to keep his way..the surgery took 2.5 hours and was extensive ,not only was there a fistula but also am absesss in my stomach...pretty scary.
So I awake and feel terrible my pain was a 14 on a scale of 1-10..I was had to walk made it about half way down the hall then it was time to return.
The next day they discovered an infection in one of the drainage tubes ( I had 3 and still have one) so they put me in a private room and there were isolation restrictions.(MRSA & C-DIFF)
Then I went thru a major pai increase and swelling in my abdomon so another ST scan that showed them that I was healing better than expected and The next day Dr.Leo Murphy called me a miracle as to how well I was doing and said that I must have contacts and that alot about people must really be praying for me. He then told me that the pain that I felt was healing pain and the reason for the increase was the fact that they have to D/C the Torudol after 3 days as it is too hard on the kidneys.
SO the rest of the story here is hosp stull
BUT I want to add something here I was told that if I had not been in the shape I was in from all of the protein and exercise my results would of not been so good in fact death could of easily result..so guys as person who is glad and humbled to still be breathing listen to your surgeon and they are serious about it..look what happened to me and I was to the letter of the law of following the intructions.
I love you all and missed posting
08/14/2003
Well I am feeling better physically but the barfing is back bummer might be emotions.
08/25/2003
I ended up back in the hospital due to the nausea and vomiting,thankfully there was nothing physically wrong...it seems that plain water makes me nauseated at this point and that I need to have some flavor in my water,as well as being on a clear liquid diet for so long (like over a month) was also contributing to my nausea. So the clear liquids was d/c-ed and I was allowed some soft food..well I seemed to do better. I still feel nauseated most of the time after eating or drinking but it is staying down which is a good thing.I have lost 94 pounds since my pre-op consult on 3/24 which to me is a-freeking-mazing.
8/26/2003
Things are getting better...woohoo
8/30/2003-
Well I am really feeling great this morning...I weighed myself and I am down to 247..that is 102 pounds lost WOOOO HOOO
9/6/2003-This week I went back to work..some of my co-workers did not even recognize me...I was so tired this week no trouble sleeping,basically lay down and the next thing I know it is morning. It was so hot this week here in CA,but it did not bother me as much as it used to..(guess losing over 100#s has something to do with that LOL).On wednesday I had an appointment with Dr.Leo Murphy,surgeon to get out my gastronomy tube....Talk about being glad to be free LOL. Dr.Leo said that I am doing very well and wants to see me again in one month.
I added up inches lost and amazing 91 inches gone forever..thats with 105 pounds as well...pretty cool my weight loss seems to be slowing down a bit might be on a plateau of sorts...but still I did lose 3 this week that is better than nothing..I have decided to eat more protein and less carbs..the things like soup and refried beans have lots of carbs..so within the parameters of my still greatly limited diet I will eat more eggs and more cottage cheese and might even try some tofu(nah)
9/10/2003
Well I have been having some eating/drinking trouble again..sighs......Will have to go to see the Dr.Murphy on Monday.
Might need a CT scan (yuck) I have this terrible burning when I eat or drink..I am taking Carafate and Reglan and it is helping a bit....Thank God...well I measured again and now I am down 95.5 " WOW
9/15/03
Down to 238 now that is great..still not feeling great.
also I got an inch taller I am now 5'6" weird......
9/19/03-down 101.5 #now weight the same..spent 3 days at Mercy hospital had a stricture dialation and CTscans Xs 2...
The stricture is back again too suks
9/24/03
well saw Dr.Murphy on monday and it was not a stricure but irritation in my stomach..GUESS what I am allowed food now...and OMG how great it tastes. I have had Tuna so far and it was so good with Lemon Pepper and Onion powder.I am also allowed some frozen fruit in my protein if I want....went to Curves yesterday and today..it feels so great to work out...(-:
I am begining to feel really good and it is about time
10/02/03-Update still on a plateau still @ 235 but lost a few inches so my total inches lost is now 102.5#
I am doing well finally,I can eat and drink and it all feels well. I do feel sick if I drink to fast and I get a pain in my chest...ugh.....but otherwise all is well...I have eated Tuna.Eggs,cheese,refried beans(dumped on them ugh)and cottage cheese...and of course a miriad of delicious protein drinks that I ordered from Vitalady......they taste so much better than Procomplex..(ick)(well PC is ok if you add fruit to it or sf syrups...but otherwise ugh)
10/5/03-Can't understand this standstill going on here....but at least I am losing inches I can fit into size 18W pants now..WOW.almost into un W sizes....I can wear some XL tops too..
I'm melting.....I think that I must be gaining lean body tissue and losing body fat at this point...I have an appointment at Pacific Bariatric with Dr.Leo Murphy on the 13th I think that I will see if I can get a Tanika Read to check and see if my lean tissue mass has went up and my body fat has went down...then I would feel ok about being the same weight for 3 weeks now.
I am noticing so much difference in my body now..I can feel bones,I can jog now at Curves and work out hard the whole time,I can fit comfortably in the bathtub,I no longer fear chairs with arms,I do not get short of breath anymore,I can climb into my school bus without trouble,I can walk my school bus without touching the sides of both seats going down the aisle,I no longer have to wedge myself into my car and the steering wheel no longer touches my stomach
10/6/03-woo down 4 more pounds...doing the happy dance
10/22/2003-Hi,
Well I saw my surgeon today.the great and wonderful Dr.Leo Murphy...He checked my abdomin for what i thought was a hernia he said that it was an abdominal weakness that will probably end up being a hernia..but not to worry get it fixed when I get "skinny".
I am cleared to eat Salads and pretty much anything on the protocol up to 12 weeks..I had a salad today..can you say YUMMMERS
This is cool my original Tanika reading was on 3/24/2003
pr now
weight-349-231.5(it was late in the day
BMI-59.0- 38.9
Fat%-55.00%-42.01
Fat Mass-192 pounds-96 pounds
Fat Free Mass lean body tissue-157 pounds-135 pounds
Total Body water-115 pounds-99 pounds
FYI I lost 22 pounds of fat since 9/3 and gained 17 pounds of muscle and my water is higher too
But the scale only shows 9 pounds lost..but now I see why
All I can say is OMG what a change....
Lisa
Who got to eat Salad today and it was great....
I do not need to go to San Diego to see Dr.Leo until Jan
and he said now you remember who your surgeon is...
I told him I could never for get him ever.. (-:
10/24/2003-Well I lost 5 pounds since Wed..wooo hooo down to 226
10/26- Make that 6 pounds woo hoo down to 224
10/30- Make that 8 pounds WOO HOO now I am 222
I feel so great now..size 18 and not 18W a real honest to goodness normal size WOO HOO
11/16-Happy Birthday to me!!! I am 41 today. I woke up and weighed myself 217.5 that is a great b-day present!!!!
I have lost 14 pounds in 3 weeks and I thought my weight loss had slowed down...I feel so great I have energy and stamina now...I marvel on how I can do chores around the house without pain and getting out of breath..WOO HOO
11/23-What a week for weight loss I lost 7 pounds in 7 days wowser down to 210.5 !!!!!!!!!!!! I was able to iron clothes without taking a rest between shirts and giving up..tee hee..and I am in a size 16 now and a xl top that is from a 34W and 5X shirt
11/30-I am still losing weight have I mentioned that I love this surgery's results??? I am down to 207 that means I am 8 pounds away from getting my Christmas present of being under 200. I will take it early or even after Christmas as I do not want to set myself up for feeling like a failure,b/c I am not a failure I am a successful WLS person who is thrilled with the results so far
12/5-Well only one pound this week,but I am bloated..went to the movies today and the seat is so much bigger now...I had room on both sides of me and was not stuck in the seat like a glove and oozing out the sides WOO HOO
12/16/2003-Well I am now down to 202 and a size 14 pants
12/19/2003 Down another 3 pounds to 199 that makes me a memeber of the century&1/2 club.lost 49 pre and 101 postie all in about 9 months (I am six months postie)
12/26/2003-Christmas was yesterday and I was good did not pig out.went out on Christmas Eve to TGIFridays and tried their new Adkins menu.yummers
1/3/2004- WOW another new year and I am finally not regretting breaking my new years resolution to lose...I still am losing...well not actually any more this week but I am focused and still strong....Have I mentioned that I love me now....
1/9/2004- I have been seeing all of the weight loss junk on ads etc and it is refreshing to know that I have this wonderful tool of WLS ..WOO HOO
1/22/2004-Well I am doing well I had my six month appointment with Dr.Leo Murphy...he was really impressed with how I am doing.
I am so thankful for great surgeons...I have to say that Dr.Leo Murphy is one in a million and anyone who has him as their surgeon is blessed...I will be forever greatful for all he did,as he treated me well even as a MO person and that was when the healing that is inside that goes with this surgery began.
Dr.Leo has a gift of healing thru surgery but there is even more to it than that. May God Bless him.
2/1/2004-Well it is February already,in the past it was the time where all diets were forgotten and the reality of the fantasys of losing weight and not being fat another Christmas were gone and forgotten and soothed in cake,ice cream,fast food and candy...Well things is different now tee hee...but the funny thing here is now my brain is still fat even though my body is not..I weigh 185 and wear a size 12 or 13 and a medium top...
yet I call myself fat??? I know from a logical point of view I am not really obese but I feel so fat I see all the skin and my big stomach and think who am I fooling? Now people tell me that I am "thin" (Not) and that if I lose too much more I will look ill!!!!
2/14/2004-happy valentines day...WOO HOO I am under 180....179 how exciting. Last night was my 16th wedding anniversary. We went out to dinner and I got a Filet Mignon with steamed veggies. LOL I was stuffed after one bite of steak and about 3 or 4 bites of veggies. I had them pack the salad to go from the get go. LOL I have food for the week..tee hee. I am a cheap date.
My DH gave me diamond stud earrings..I was so surprised..and get this I can sit on his lap now and not kill him.
I had had a rough week last week as I was not able to keep stuff down really well ,my surgeon called me back after I called Pac Bar and told me that it was probably gastritis as I was feeling better then. I get so afraid that something bad will happen again. I hope that goes away. I really fear a bowel obstruction due to my huge hernia. Sometimes I get this tight feeling and can not use the restroom to go. then I feel squishiness and then I feel better(sorry for the graphic)
3/29/2004-Leap year day LOL..lets see I have been on a not losing plateau for about a week,actually I have gained..Aunt Flo is late...1st day of last visit,1/17/2005 thats about 45 days..its all in God's hands..but I hope my auntie flo shows up soon..I will do a test I think soon. I saw my PCP this week and she wrote a referral to general surgery for my hernia,,she commented that it was sure big..LOL..my PCP also told me that she would refer me to plastic surgery for all of the redunant skin that I have ,,woo hoo
03/10/2004-Oh scale you can move any time now..I am stuck at the same weight up and down the same 4 pounds......I know that I need to get back to basics and exercise more and do more. I know I should be more thankful but I am feeling like I am stuck here forever.....I always was able to get down to this weight but never under it. I think that I am not eating enough or eating wrong...I eat just a little food and the rest protein drinks.
sighs
3/18/2004~ Yesterday I had a consult with a KP surgeon regarding hernia repair. I was on a wait list to see a surgeon but was blessed to get a cancellation..WOO HOO I felt led to pray about getting one and then to call..GOD is so GOOD and so WONDERFUL,I got a cancellation for the next day. I saw the surgeon he seems really nice and he checked my hernia and said that I have one that starts below my naval and goes about 6 inches up on my insision. I went to surgery scheduling and I was told probably not until May..bummer...but I will need to pray and ask that God open the door to a faster time as April would be so much better for my work schedule as alot of my students that I drive are off for the month of April..
on another note I am down to 176 pounds WOOOOOO HOOOOO
3/23/2004~As of tommorrow I will be one year from my intial consult..and I am 1/2 a pound away from losing 1/2 of myself. I started at 349 and as of yesterday am 175 pounds..I wanna lose that 1/2 by tommorrow. I am so thankful for this gift of the WLS tool
3/25/2004-down more to 173 WOO HOO
3/29/3004-I gotta get my butt into gear and figure out how to balance my eating with my protein shake intake. I tend to opt to drink my nutrition rather than eat. I really do not enjoy food and it really seems like such a waste to eat when I get full so fast and all then have to wait that dreaded hour to drink again.
I am eating 1 meal a day usually a protein source such as chicken,cheese or tuna,then some veggies and sometimes some soy chips or "nuts". I do not snack or graze (cept a some p-nut butter on a spoon..PROTEIN)I am so addicted to protein shakes it is not funny..I usually drink 5 a day.Part of this is protein loading for my hernia surgery though too.
4/8/2004-Yesterday was great!!! I went to San Diego to visit my angelettes Geri and Jan,who both live 1/4 mile away from me in either direction. This was my first time I was able to be a for real IRL(in real life angel) Such a blessing (-:
I also had had a call into my surgeon regarding the nausea and vomiting that I am still experiencing on a practically daily basis. I was able to get in to see him about it and told me that my hernia was probably obstrucing and causeing the vomiting and that he would call and send a letter to the surgeon and my PCP saying that the hernia surgery needs to be done without too much more delay. I also was able to meet with a gal I met on Spotlight health who had visited me in the hospital twice..such a nice person. I also met with LaVerne the support person for Pac Bar to talk about the IRL support group that we are forming.
all in all a great day...Oh yea and I was able to see some of the nurses that took care of me when I was there the 4 times I was there last year....I got to see my favorite nurse Leslie...she is a sweetie....
4/20/2004~ I am happy I broke the 170's thing as I was 169 today WOO HOO...I am still having vomiting trouble but will get an upper GI and some other help...The hernia surgeon says he wants to rule out any narrowing. ugh I hate the barium stuff
5/3/04-I checked my body fat % today and see that it is 27% and since I weigh 167 that means that I have 45 pounds of fat and 122 pounds of lean tissue...so technically I am probably not overweight but normal...but I still wanna get down to 149
5/8/04-Today we had the first support group for our area..I kind of was the one that asked about it and am honored to be the leader..it was so cool there were 8 of us all together. and there were about 6 were coming that something came up.. it was great..I am happy
5/19/2004-Well yesterday was my 11 months post op anniversary..dang..I am at 164 still and finally seeing myself as non fat. I guess I have issues LOL. I am still doing well on not grazing or snacking,I think that I would be comfortable living on protein shakes at this point..food is such a PITA lately,it fills me up feels icky inside,usually makes me barf and makes me have to wait to drink..I do try to force myself to eat about once a day and am successful about 3 times a week. I have spoken with a doctor about this and was told that I would be ok for a while doing this. I have adheasions and intermittant bowel obstructions that make eating really tough at times. Sometimes I can eat and keep stuff down pretty good then other times ever everything comes back up. But I am handling this all ok as I still have the positive reinforcement of weight loss this past month 5 pounds for a total of 185 pounds lost..but only forever if I keep my nose to the ground and follow the rules......
6/5/2004-Well I will be having my hernia repair on this coming up thursday the 10th.. I am glad to get this done.
6/6/2004-I am so frustrated not being able to eat,when I do I puke and I am at the point where I am scared to even try. I figure that since Feb I have tried to eat about16-20 times and about 2/3 rds of the time I have vomited. I am not overeating here the amount is like 1/2 C or less..I am seeing Dr.Leo Murphy about this tommorrow so hopefully he can be of some help..I know that there is not too much that he can do for me since I am Kaiser patient and Kaiser has to treat and all but man oh man..what does a person have to do to get treated...I am so tired of not being able to eat...its just not fair!!!!!!!!!!!!
stomp stomp stomp and no one seems to have any compassion or help for me because its my fault for having surgery..grr "Well you had the surgery" well fine what about people with other problems not related to obesity get sick...but since it obesity its the pts fault..I am tired hungry as all and can not freaken eat...its not worth my time or effort to only have to heave it back up
6/7/04~Hi,
Well I am almost 1 year out from my RNY 6/18/2003 and today I had to see my surgeon for my 1 year and also to make sure that I was not harming myself since I am not eating food right now and pretty much living on protein shakes and p-nut butter.
(and BTW my surgeon did say that not eating for the time being is correct as and since I vomit from eating due to the hernia pressing on my stomach that not eating was listening to my body and the right thing to be doing for now and that once I get this all fixed I will feel better and be able to eat)
Well so anyhow I had a Tanita Read and printout and here are my stats pre and post
weight 349 165.5 (this was with clothes on and later in the day)
BMI 59.0 27.5
fat% 55.0% 30.03%
fat free mass
157.01 115.51
fat mass 192.01 50.01
My surgeon told me that I am skinny now not overweight I am normal weight now and that I could stay at this weight forever and be very healthy there...
I told him that I did not feel skinny and he told me that it takes about 2-3 years for the brain to catch up with the body..
I am so blessed that I had this surgery and I will feel even better when I get this darn hernia repair this thursday
6/8/03-down one more pound this AM
6/17/2004-I am one week post op from my hernia repair//Ouch hurts pretty bad post op. I spent 4 nights at the hospital at Kaiser Riverside.The hernia was huge according the the surgeon(I was like duh) He had to put in a 22 x 19 cm piece of mesh and with the suturing to my insides and the suturing my abdominal muscles back together,it was quite a surgery. I am sitting here is pretty intense pain...well tomorrow marks my 1 year post op from my orignial RNY I cannot believe all this past year has taught me.....I am healthier,slimmer,a better and stronger person and I am forever greatful to my wonderful surgeon,Dr.Leo Murphy,his daughter Dr.Mary Murphy they are healers may the LORD GOD Bless them many times over for the wonderful care that they provide...and also to LaVerne Chavez the support group coordinator for Pacific Bariatric and also to KP for being intelligent enough to cover this life saving surgery
6/23/2004-Well the pain from my hernia repair is pretty much gone now WOO HOO.Next week I am going out to San Diego to see my angelette Evette F I am so excited for her,it is such a blessing to be an angel
7/9/2004- Well I went back to work this week and things have went well, gosh I hardly even feel like I had major hernia surgery a month ago... Lets see this week I finally went back to the gym,did 45 minutes on the treadmill..can't wait to start weights again but that will be when the 60 days are up.
7/18/2004-Dang dang dang my work scheduled changed and exercise is not really that easy to get in,I am going to try to go at 4:30 am to 5:15 am every other day..wish me luck..well the scale moved I am at 157 that is so great. I am doing well,still not eating a lot of food,I am really used to protein shakes and I guess that is fine,I did eat about 1/4 of a Mc Donalds Grilled Chicken Ceasar salad..yummy!!!!
8/7/2004-I feel GREAT!!!! I am working on getting out of the weight loss mode and into the maintainence mode..interesting!!!
I consider myself at goal but would still like to get to 149 so I could be in the bicentennial club LOL....I really do not want to get any smaller....(never thought I would say that LOL)
I wear about an 8 some 6s and some 10s..12s are huge..medium tops and some smalls!!!!! I feel great I would do this all again in a second....I might like to gain 5 pounds of muscle and drop 5 pounds of body fat...I want to get into better physical shape I do seem to be quite toned under my loose skin but I would like to be stronger. I may get some PS done in time,my PCP has pretty much already told me that she will refer me when I am at goal. Last time I saw here she told me not to get any skinnier!!!
Septemeber 3rd 2004......Dang yesterday was so much fun, I did something that I said I was going to do once I lost weight....We did a water park..WOO HOO!!! Raging Waters is so much freakin fun. It was hilly and lots of steps but I was able to run up and not get outta breath.......I rode so many rides...
When we went in the security told me that I could not bring in my bottle of Protein Ice as it was not water. I tell the guy I haffa bring it,as I had gastric bypass and can not have carbonation and plain water makes me sick sometimes..he was like Oh Ok no problem!!
Well this morning my legs are like rubber......but that is a good feeling...tee hee
9/14/2003-I am frustrated!!! I am having foods and pills feel stuck..not again been on clear liquids for the past 24 hours,so last night I decide to have a protein shake..the problem is still there UGH!!!
9/15/2004 got up this morning and was at 150 for weight..I am losing too much weight I am very satisfied where I am now
11/4/2004 Well lets see I am pretty much the same weight wise..I am satisfied where I am at..still wanna lose that 1 vanity pound.
I think that I need to get off of my butt and really exercise more..I think I wanna get my redundant skin removed but I do not really want more surgery for a while
11/30/2004- I have been thinking of where I started and where I am now,I so thank God for all the ups and downs in my journey,I am truly not the same since all of this...the size thing is such a small part,yes its fun and exciting to look and feel great but the other benefits,the health,the inside stuff the things to do with complications thats all reshaped me..I was looking on some old posts I made onto spotlight....this one was a week and a day before my consult..I believe that God speaks thru dreams..and in retrospect this one to me was really a true warning to me
Sunday, March 16, 2003 7:59 PM
Hi,
I rarely remember my dreams,when I do remember them it is for a reason. I beleive that it was God speaking to me to wake me up.(please no flames religion is not the basis of this post)
SO here is the dream I was having my pre-op visit with the surgeon but it was at my house. I was not ready for him and I was still in my night gown,my house was messy and I was half asleep. There was a loud knock at my door and in walks this very busy man into my house and sits down and I start making excuses and we just stare at each other saying nothing. So I get up and start to try to get ready I try to comb my hair and trip and fall,I pick up a book and give it to him and tell him that it is really interesting,written by a doctor and that he can read it to pass his time while I get ready for him.....
Then I woke up with a start..now usually I do not remember dreams that vividly..So I sat back and pondered the reason for such a vivid and strong dream and then it came to me..(duh) I have better be serious about this and not be wasting the surgeon's or my own time with this...
I decided that I will begin drinking the protein this am and pm and doing the exercise too.
BTW the procomplex is good mixed with water ice and frozen fruit
Happy on this sideWOOOOOO HOOO talk about a great overnight with my DH.
We went to Pechanga to see Kansas (Dust in the Wind,Carry On My Wayward
Son,Point of Know Return). So anyhow before the concert we went to the Cafe to
have some dinner and I notice this man with pink tinged hair long curly
etc..well as we sat down my DH is is like OMG thats Robbie Steinhart!!!!(he is
Kansas's violin player and band front man) The waitress was like sssshhhh I say to
DH lets not bug him and se what happens as we just did not want to bother
him while he was eating..(BTW it was obvious that were are fans as we had
Kansas Tshirts on)So we ate and and were so close we could hear him talking and
all..so after we finished,he looked over at us and said hello and asked us what
were we in town for..I said to see our favorite band..he smiled he talked
with us a few minutes and it was really great,my DH then asked him for an
autograph and we were like we got a pen and he said no problem I got one...so he
signed the placemat from the resturant and also added that they,(the band) had
never made a placemat before!!)
We then went to the concert and it was awesome we had great seats and the
sound system was great,we could feel the bass in our chest...it was
wonderful..they did the song "Hold On"
Hold On by Kerry Livgren
Look in the mirror and tell me
Just what you see
What have the years of your life
Taught you to be
Innocence dyin' in so many ways
Things that you dream of are lost
Lost in the haze
Hold on, baby, hold on
'Cause it's closer than you think
And you're standing on the brink
Hold on, baby, hold on
'Cause there's something on the way
Your tomorrow's not the same as today
Don't you recall what you felt
When you weren't alone
Someone who stood by your side
A face you have known
Where do you run when it's too much to bear
Who do you turn to in need
When nobody's there
Outside your door He is waiting
Waiting for you
Sooner or later you know
He's got to get through
No hesitation and no holding back
Let it all go and you'll know
You're on the right track
Hold on, baby, hold on
'Cause it's closer than you think
And you're standing on the brink
Hold on, baby, hold on
'Cause there's something on the way
Your tomorrow's not the same as today
which normally they had not been doing in their set so that was really
special for me because that is the song that I played over and over during my long
time in the hospital and cried so many times and of course when they did it
I cried my eyes out..it was so great after the concert we were outside of the
venue and DH saw Billy Greer (the bass player) out talking to a fan..we went
over and talked with him a bit he was really nice
Now for me I really wanted to meet Richard Williams the guitar player(the
guy with the eyepatch) mostly because one I am a guitar player and 2 because he
had WLS in March of 03 and has lost a lot of weight and its just neat and
all..well we had checked out of the hotel and I had went to bring the car
around to pick up DH (DH is disabled and walking is hard for him) so anyhoo DH
calls me and asks me if I still wanted to meet Rich..I am like DUH!!! well DH
tells me to hurry up and get over here because he is talking to Rich in the
lobby..so I got to meet Rich I was able to ask him how much he has lose 180
pounds..he looks great too and I showed him by drivers license pic and all and we
talked about what we all went thru and he was saying how great he feels and
all....I am so freak jazzed about me and my DH's time together we had such a
great time,we were able to just relax and be one..it was soooo great
12-09-2004
Hi,
I went to a Pacific Bariatric Seminar to get a weight and a readout of my body fat % and Fat Free Mass today. I was pleasantly surprised,this 5-10 pound gain that I have been lamenting is not really techincally a gain...back in June my Fat Free Mass was 116 pounds and today it was 124 pounds I gained 8 pounds of muscle!!!! GO PROTEIN GO PROTEIN!!!!!
and lost 6 pounds of fat went form 38 pounds of fat to 32 pounds of fat 22.1% body fat..damn I am fit LOL
When the people signing in saw that I was a postie they asked if I would talk..I am like sure of course....I was nervous but a good nervous..WOO HOO. Then it turned out that my surgeon the great Dr.Leo J Murphy was doing the lecture and he saw that I was there and used me as an example of what a succesful patient looks like. Was very strong about taking protein and used 30 grams as the amount to use(which is a change from their former insistance on 55 grams 2 scoops of procomplex..)He mentioned ProComplex but also said to go and check out others...said that anyone over 30 years old should be drinking at least one protein drink a day!! The guy practices what he preaches,protein and exercise....I was able to talk with him a little and he called me skinny!! LOL I told him that its the protein that I take....
he said that the surgery does maybe 20% the rest is up to the patient....
Lisa B
who has to remind self that 22.1% body fat is not fat not fat not fat even at a 25.something BMI which is techically overweight....
My Family at Christmas 2005
12/29/2004-I struggle with appetite lately..not phyiscally hungry yet I want to eat I know that its stress,so I am trying Reclore as its supposed to help squash cravings and assist in lowering stress,without drowsiness..I will update soon
1/29/2005-Well this past month each day has been a struggle with eating etc...I did a major sunflower seed thing...no more for me LOL I gained a little weight but am losing again..for me weighing daily is the right thing...oh and I changed PCPs as I found out that one of the Kaiser family practice doc is a post op
2/26/2005~I have done better this past month...I am taking Xandrine 40+ that seems to help a little.I need to get my butt into exercising more. I am starting a running program called C-2-5K basically Couch to 5K in 2 months. I also want to work on strenght training as well....I guess I will write more next month now to change my profile color again LOL
Hi There,
Well being that I am almost 21 months out from my WLS I can truly tell you alls that the honeymoon is not forever!!! It gets harder!!! Things like appetite return and your weight stays the same even if you diet. In fact for me,with no major changes in eating and acitivity level I bounced back up about 15 pounds. My size stayed the same and I look an feel the same but the weight has crept up since August when I was at my all time low of 150. The constants are I have taken my vitamins,and I drink 3-4 protein drinks a day. The areas I need to work on are getting in at least 64 oz of pure water each day(I do not count the water I use in protein drinks or other liquids like coffee or tea) I do not eat any sugar and I keep the grams of sugar(sugars other than Sucrose or Dextrose,Fructose etc) in things that I eat at 6 grams) I eat low carb but not no carb,I essentially avoid simple carbs...no white bread,crackers etc. I do have an occasional glass of wine and I do drink way to much coffee.
I am learning to live like a slender person.....I rather like the way I look and the way I feel most days(but not all the time as I do still seem to have some residual problems with my GI tract that are rather painful at times I am under my doctors watch)
I am back to regular exercise and drinking more pure water....I really want to lose down to 140 and then gain 15 pounds of muscle and be 155 with about 19% body fat with about 125-126 lean mass...I know it can be done....running is the way and using weights and getting in a lot of good protein...drinking protein right after exercise and all....I will make it and I will be healthy for life...
People say that after the first 9-18 months the honeymoon is over,true but now its time for life for living and doing whatever I can to stir up the passion of caring for my body.....and I intend,I vow to do it and I will remain healthy
03/18/2005_ This past week has been hard..I have had lots of stomach and abdominal issues..as well as major anxiety...so much so that my therapist has put me on disability and I am starting an intensive program to help me thru it...I also am waiting to see my PCP
3/2/2005~Sometimes I do not understand struggles...today I am nauseated....feel like crap. I am happy to weigh less and all but I have more problems now that I have lost weight...The anxiety issue really sucks...its like since my cloak of being the fat chick is gone....There is nothing to blame anything on cept me and my ineptitude or lack of self discipline really...
I think that I am at a crossroads really.....its complicated..just like me
4/11/2005
Perhaps its risky to share this here but since we here all here know too well the pain of stigma I will share. I have been diagonosed as bipolar 1 most recent mixed severe I am doing somewhat better now I am still rather fragile and working at recovery. They helped with the vomiting issues and epigastric pain as they started me on Reglan QID and Nexium for the Erosive Esophagutitus(sp) and I also found out that the Carafate that was RXed was causing all my meds to not be absorbed at all.
Another very scary thing happened to me on Thursday night I was given a med called Trazadone to help me sleep,well it turns out that I am allegic to it and also since it also absorbed really fast into my stomach pouch it also overdosed on me. My heart began to beat really fast and I passed out and my eyes rolled back in my head,they called 911 and took me by ambulance to Kaiser..also Ironically I was dehydrated,yet I had drank 130 oz of pure water the day prior and 96 oz that day (I am going to get copies of my labs trust me LOL)
So I was there from 3/31 t0 4/10
Lisa B
ps I lost 12 pounds there too and had to FIGHT and get my surgeon to fax a letter that I am required protein to be able to have my protein drinks there...and Dr.Leo is so nice he even called me at the hosp
4/13/2005-
/2005~Feeling good at goal(actually below goal)I am taking Celexa,Lithium,Abilify,Serouquel and Topamax now and I feel really good now. I got to say that the Bipolar Disorder really took me for a loop.I am very glad that the symptoms seem to be under control for now. I need to start back on my serious exercise program,I have a gym membership that I am paying for,for nothing LOL
My Husband, David and me
Our First born son Joel at age 15
Joshua age 14
/16/2005-What a month so far...LOL...I have lost so much of my regain which is good but I hope it stops I am down to 152 which is 1.5 pounds from my lowest of 150.5..there is a part of me that wants 149 to be able to say I have lost 200 but really thats not that important over all....its a number thing. my PCP,Dr,Edward Milkie says that I have about 25-30 pounds of redundant skin anyhow and I am seeing him this coming tuesday to get a referral to the plastic surgery department and I know it will be no problem as he is 1 year out from WLS himself (can you say perfect PCP??? LOL).now with all of the good things and there are good things the hard things have been with the symptoms of the mania from my bipolar which are actually a blessing in disquise.....I am really quite ill and there are a lot of issues and pain that due to my weight loss have nowhere to go except to be dealth with....internal pain is a hard hard work...but with therapy I will over come
April18-May4th-2005 my 16 day stay at Loma Linda BMC after I as home for several days I was still not doing well do I went back there for some more medication changes. It was not a bad thing to be there I met many people who you would never ever expect to have a mental illness.One lady made me so sad she was 3 years out far from goal and basically dying from alcohol and suicide attemtpts...there were others who were really really ill who seemed to not want to get well to me tnat was sad
I am on 9 meds but I feel better now..and am going thru lots of therapy
11/05/05- I have been having such a hard time lately with depression and anxiety lately I am in therapy learning to deal with and resolve some of the issues that come from my childhood as well as deal with day to day issues,to be honest I wish I would of prepared more emotionally preop because I am really suffering now
2/26/2006
I have gained weight I have had trouble with emotional eating as of late and have vowed to get back on track by acting like a new baby post op. but man a donut sounds nice right now I realize that I have an eating disorder and and going to get help for it I binge and purge or just plain overeat I also will not eat as well I go from exteme to extreme its not healthy comes from not loving myself.
its risky admitting this here but I am going to get help so I want to share because I know that there are others out there that struggle the same or similar issues. until next time
9/11/2006
Today is the 5 year anniversary of the world trade center attack it was so terrible my heart goes out to those who lost family member and friends. Today is also my cat's 5th birthday and he's so precious to me.
I have been maintaining my weight after losing the weight that I gained from the meds that I was taking for my bipolar...yikes 23 pounds in like 3 weeks..really depressing!!!!!! I really struggle with this bipolar disorder and sometimes its really hard being post op because my mental health since wls has declined dramatically it has been a long tough road. I "thought" that losing weight would "fix" all my emotional problems...YEA RIGHT!!!!!!!I am in intensive therapy to deal and heal from all of the abuse that I grew up with its hard but I am determined to be an overcomer....right now since bipolar is an mental illness where one swings between depression and mania (high energy racing thoughts lack of sleep anxiety etc) I have been manic for going on 6 weeks and am getting mentally tired of it....so hopefully the new medicine my pyschictirst(I can not spell lol) will help.....I take 6 different ones.....if it were not for Kaiser about $100.00 a days worth
bye for now Lisa
6 DEC 2006-I am obssessed with my weight not a good place to be.I have to admit that I have an eating disorder for years first it was compulsive over eating,now its purging or restricting my eating.I am in therapy for this and want to get better.
About Me
Before & After
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