Jenna V.
ONEDERLAND
Dec 27, 2012
Hi everyone,
As of December 23rd, I have reached onderland. I am sitting at 198 lbs at the present moment, giving me a total loss of 212 pounds with around 58 lbs to go. I am incredibly happy and so proud of myself. Considering I had 270 pounds to lose when I first started my journey, seeing 58 pounds left to go is unreal and so hard for me to believe. VSG surgery saved my life. I start with my personal trainer in the New Year and will also be looking into skin removal (panni for now).
I hope you all had a Happy Holiday and wish you all HEALTH AND HAPPINESS for the New Year.
Obese
Nov 12, 2012
Well, I have dropped down another category in the BMI chart! I started my journey with a BMI of 72.6, placing me into the super morbidly obese category. I am now 214 pounds with a BMI of 37.9 and in the obese category.
My body is healthy and I am LOVING my sleeve! Each day brings me closer to my goal of 140 pounds. I will get there :)
Extremely obese
Jul 11, 2012
Stay strong and be healthy :)
A new life
Jul 05, 2012
I still remember how I felt the day of my VSG surgery (Feb 15, 2012). I shed a few tears while I was on the operating table waiting for the anesthesia to kick in but I had made peace with the fact that I could die. At least I was doing something to better my life. I was scared I would fail at this because of my eating disorder. Being obese is all I have ever known- it is a part of me and my "identity". I am seeing a psychologist, as well as attending an eating disorder program, which I feel is necessary. There is always a reason for the way people are, and I know counseling is needed.
I have endured painful complications (infected incision and MANY flare ups of gout that severely limited my mobility). I have survived and prospered. For the first time in a long time, I am HAPPY. I am starting to love myself and realize that I CAN do this. I have gotten this amazing opportunity to re-invent myself and life as I have always know it.
I am officially half way to goal; I started off at 410 pounds and having to lose 270 pounds. I have lost 135 and have 135 left to go. This is not a race for me, though. I am becoming healthy, not skinny and that takes time, effort and determination. I have went from a 5X shirt to a 2X-3X, not being able to fit in any jeans to being able to wear a 22-24. I have went from having a BMI of over 70 to 48. I have normal cholesterol, sugar, blood pressure and slightly elevated triglycerides. I will never forget how I felt at my heaviest, when I got winded even putting my clothes on. You have to remember where you were and how far you've come....
I have not been perfect with my eating and exercise (no one is). I have ate things I shouldn't and that's ok because I recognize my mistakes and always get back on track.
I could barely get around at my heaviest and even the littlest things were difficult and excruciating. I now go for walks, I swim, I enjoy doing things instead of being on the sidelines, being intimate is easier, etc. I can't even explain how my life has changed in the last 5 months.
My whole point of this blog is to let all of the people waiting know that it is WORTH it. I know how difficult the waiting is and even for the first few months after surgery but it is definitely life changing. Your time will come!
Today, I cry because of happiness and not because of sadness!
3 month appointment
May 22, 2012
-According to their scale, I have lost 111 pounds (there was a 4 pound difference between my scale and their scale)
-I have lost 30 cm or 12 inches off of my waist
-I have lost 17 cm or 7 inches off of my hips
-My Vit A and Vit D were low, so they would like me to take a Vit A pill once daily for 2 months
-My triglycerides were still a little elevated but not by much
-Cholesterol, fasting sugar, protein, electrolytes, B12 etc were all perfect
-My BMI has went from 71 to 52.3
I am one happy girl!
My six month appointment is in August....
Tears of joy!
May 17, 2012
Emotional eating and "black and white" thinking
May 03, 2012
Like many WLS patients, before surgery I dealt with my emotions by eating and "stuffing down" my feelings. I have used food as my pain reliever ever since I was a little girl. I always knew that although food made me "feel better", in the end, it caused me more pain than pleasure. It negatively affected my health, my friendships, my relationships, my mental health and my growth as a person in general.
I am, for the first time in my life, dealing with things. I can no longer eat to forget. I mean, I'm sure I can but I do not touch the foods that I used to eat to forget (bread and pasta, mainly). Abstinence regarding carbohydrates is the best choice for me. Other food is not the same to me in instances of emotional eating.
I have eaten bread once since surgery and it caused me to go on a 3 day eating binge where I gained a couple pounds....but I smartened up and stopped. This is very different for me because every time I tried losing weight in the past, I would do well, until I reached my breaking point and thought food was more worth it. "I will cheat just this once, and start fresh tomorrow". That was my mentality and it NEVER worked.
"Black and white" thinking always forced me on a serious downward spiral. I want it all or I want nothing at all. I will either be perfect or...well, you get the picture. I know I cannot think like this. No one is perfect. My mind knows the rationalizations but I still feel like that. I am like this is every aspect of my life. I want to be the perfect eater, the perfect girlfriend, the perfect friend, the perfect student, etc. These expectations are unrealistic and always set me up for failure in the long run. I am currently seeking counselling because I know that I need it.
One thing I want to say about this surgery: To all of you who said this journey would be a ride...boy, you weren't kidding. It has been the most difficult thing I have went through, no doubt about it. It is totally worth it though. This surgery gives you a tool; the rest is up to you. This surgery is not a cure all. It's up to you how successful you will be. It's the choices you make everyday for the rest of your life.
I thought after surgery, I would feel on top of the world and I did for a while; Until I had to start dealing with real issues. The honeymoon phase is over. I have been more miserable than happy lately and that is because I have to FEEL things, instead of dealing with them with food. I know this is the best thing for emotional healing and growth.
Food will no longer be my best friend; I will be my best friend!
New picture!
Apr 15, 2012
- I have lost 26 cm (just over 10 inches) off of my waist
- I have lost 7 cm (3 inches) off of my hips
- My BMI has went from 71 to 56.5
*Side note*: Those measurements were taken at my 6 week appointment and I have not taken them since.
Thank you all so much for sharing my journey with me. I still have a long way to go but I will get there. As long as I continue to exercise, eat healthy and take full advantage of my tool, I will make it! This surgery has already saved my life and my soul!
Changes since my surgery
Mar 27, 2012
A LOT has changed since my surgery; some are good changes and others are not-so-good....
The good:
- I have said goodbye to 77 pounds
- For the first time in my life, my cholesterol is within NORMAL range
- I am no longer pre-diabetic
- My triglycerides are only slightly elevated
- My BMI has went from 71 to 59
- My clothes are starting to become loose
- I fit into clothes that I have not fit into for years
- I can go for a 3 hour walk and my joints are not in pain
- My confidence is slowly coming back to me
- I am never hungry and have to force myself to eat (I make sure I get everything in, so don't worry) ;)
The not-so-good:
- I had a severe flare up of gout where I basically could not walk for about 7 days (my uric acid has always been high but this was my first flare up)
- I have had spells where I feel like I am going to black out
- I had a tiny infection in my largest incision, which they gave me antibiotics for
It's crazy to me how quickly everything is changing. This has NOT been easy. It's been the hardest thing I have EVER done in my life, but it's also the best thing!
They express before surgery how difficult this will be but it does not sink in until you actually go through it personally. It's a very frustrating process. I was so accustomed to eating large amounts, drinking large amounts and ignoring my feelings. I can no longer do that. I have had to change my whole thought process in regards to food and water. I have to change a lifetime of habits. I have cried and I have regretted my decision a couple of times since surgery but it passes. It's just my negative, "poor me" side getting the best of me but I always conquer it. I KNOW this is the best thing to happen to me and I am so grateful!!!
I wanted ice-cream the other day, and I am now allowed sugar free frozen yogurt. Well, I went to 3 different grocery stores before I found it. REALLY?! Why is bad food so accessible and cheap but healthy food is inaccessible and expensive? It makes no sense, considering how the "obesity epidemic" is talked about quite frequently. Something needs to change, that's for sure...
One more thing I would like to touch upon is the lack of information on the surgery I had (VSG). They told me quite some time ago that I would be getting the VSG due to my BMI, and I was happy about it because I wanted the VSG. However, the surgery booklet that was given to me during the surgery class was for RNY. Why? It's a completely different surgery. I am definitely going to express that to St. Joes at my next appointment! I want others down the road to know what to expect and not wonder....
I LOVE MY SLEEVE!
I hope you are all doing fantastic!
The Ten Weight Loss Commandments
Mar 16, 2012
THE 10 WEIGHT LOSS COMMANDMENTS
• Thou shall exercise 5 times per week for 40-45 minutes.
• Thou shall not covet the carbohydrate.
• Thou shall not eat more than 3 meals per day and shall not have unhealthy snacks between meals.
• Thou shall drink at least 8 glasses of water each day.
• Thou shall eat a minimum of 60 grams of protein each day.
• Thou shall honor thy commitment to good health and healthy choices.
• Thou shall keep follow-up appointments with thy doctor.
• Thou shall always take thy vitamins.
• Thou shall not weigh thyself more than once-a-week.
• Thou shall always keep the memory of the past and the hope of the future as a clear image in thy mind
