jennie_jay

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For some reason, shit all of a sudden feels REAL! Like really real! This is about to happen! 3 sleeps and 9 more OPTI shakes! Wowzers! My journey officially started in January 2013....almost 15 months later...I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE SURGERY!!!!! Friends, family and co-workers have asked me repeatedly if I'm scared and my answer has pretty consistently been no. But the more I think about it, I actually am. I think it's normal to be afraid of surgery, in general...but after some reflection, I'm really afraid of failure. What if it doesn't work? Or what if I fuck up this amazing tool that I'm being blessed with and become FAT again!?!? As much as I try to not let myself go there, I can't help it. I got myself into this fat suit by being lazy and a serious lack of self control. I know now that I do have some amount of control...OPTI has definitely taught me that! lol But what if I get cocky and fall back in to bad habits again? 

 I need to stop writing this...maybe come back later. The more I write, the more I get inside my own head! 

Thank you to everybody for your on-going support! Please know that it's always appreciated, even if I don't say it.

Cheers xox oxo

Here I am, coming to the end of Day 9 on OPTI. This girl is STARVING today! OMG! Like tummy growling so loud it sounds like something is trying to get out! This is the first day that I have really felt hungry! I don't know if it's because I went grocery shopping for my family, or the BBQ's I smell every time I go outside, or the McDonald's my husband ate today (which I don't even like) or the fact that the Easter Bunny comes tonight!?!? Whatever it is, it's brutal! I've NEVER in my life shown this kind of self control!!! Yay me! :) I've been trying to stay busy all day. I spent the better part of the afternoon and early evening preparing my oldest daughter's room. She's returning from college next weekend. So, I've been cleaning, organizing, doing laundry, drinking water and trying to ignore my hunger! 

My vent is over! I'm going to drink my 4th shake - which I've been doing faithfully everyday and go to bed. Tomorrow will be better :)

FYI - as of this morning I am down 12lbs since starting OPTI :)

HAPPY EASTER!! 

Well here I am on the morning of Day 4 of OPTI fast. I thought I should take a few moments while I drink my black coffee (yuck!) and reflect on the last 3 days. It has definitely been hard! Probably one of the harder things I've had to do. Self control hasn't always been my strong suit! Hence part of the reason I'm in this fat suit! Overall, OPTI tastes pretty bad and initially I thought I preferred the vanilla over the chocolate, but that's not the case. The chocolate is definitely more palatable. Although, the vanilla is easier to "dress up" - instant coffee, strawberry/banana/orange crystal light & mint extract have all proven to be pretty good. The first day I drank 3, second day only 2. Then I was reminded by all the folks here the importance of drinking all 4 everyday, so day 3, I drank all 4! Going forward, I'm going to try really hard to drink then all everyday! 

Physically I'm feeling pretty blah. I've had several headaches and feel pretty sluggish. I'm glad that day 2 & 3 fell on the weekend so I was able to nap or rest when I wanted to. Yesterday I added a fibre supplement to my OPTI. I've been several days (4 actually) without a BM. I'm sure that's contributing to not feeling so hot! I've eaten celery sticks a few times and been drinking a ton of water. 

I'm having some struggles with people - they just don't understand! As much as I try to explain the process, they still don't get it! Yesterday, my daughter was at my MIL's for the afternoon. While she was there, they made a lasagna for my daughter to bring home for dinner one night this week. *NOTE: My MIL's lasagna is one of my most favourite foods on the planet! My daughter said to her - Oh Nan, Mom's gonna be sad that she can't eat this! My MIL responded by saying: Oh she'll be fine. She can just have a cheat day and eat it. Cheat day!?!?! Really??? And what exactly am I cheating? The program? OPTI? HELL NO...I'm cheating MYSELF! Cheating just isn't an option! So, the yummy cheesy fat filled deliciousness is tightly wrapped in the fridge (with Saran Wrap and tin foil) for my husband and daughter to have for dinner on Tuesday.

I'd like to end on a positive note by saying that in the first 3 days, I lost 7lbs! Day 1 of OPTI I was 302lbs and Day 3 of OPTI I was 295lbs. I haven't weighed myself yet this morning. It could possibly be more!  Cheers all! Keep your eye on the prize....I know that I am! 

 

January 2013 - I went to see my GP for a regular check up. He ordered a battery of blood tests and made a follow-up appointment for the end of February 2013. I went back to see him and he addressed concerns with the results. He said everything was high (highlighted by red on his screen) He told me that it was all a "recipe for disaster." We discussed different options, including gastric bypass. He felt that I was a good candidate and sent in a referral sometime after that day. 

March 2013 - I received a call from my Doctor's Office as well as a letter from the Bariatric Registry stating that my referral had been received and that I would be receiving further information in the mail. 

April & May 2013  - I made a few calls to the Bariatric Registry to get more information, but that was pretty unsuccessful....left messages and no return calls. 

June 2013 - FINALLY!!!! I received a letter to attend an information session at Humber River Regional Hospital on August 19, 2013

August 19, 2013 - Attended information session and left with more appointment dates. 

September 27, 2013 - Met with the SW & surgeon (Dr. Sohi)

November 11, 2013 - Scheduled to meet with the SW, RD and RN - canceled by the hospital the week before due to it being Remembrance Day :(

December 6, 2013 - Finally met with the SW (again), RD and RN.

December 7, 2013 - Started taking Vitamins D and C as well as Iron as per the RN

December 18, 2013 - Appointment with RD and Dr. Glazer (pre-op assessment)

January 8, 2104 - 2nd appointment with Dr. Sohi

January 10, 2014 - Sleep Study

February 7, 2014 - Received results from sleep study....no sleep apnea...Clear for surgery!!!!

February 11, 2014 - FINALLY received my surgery date!!!! MAY 2, 2014!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 9, 2014 - PATTS 

April 11, 2014 - Start Opti

And my journey continues...