jessica B.

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So i have completed my first weight loss class at the clinic. and while it doesnt count towards my 6 classes, i feel like i am accomplishing something. i started making better choices with what i have been eating and drinking more water and last week i lost 3.5lbs. So i am excited to keep going. Everyday i know i am 1 day closer to getting my surgery and beginning my new life.

So on thursay the 21st, i went to the doctors to get all of my referrals. I get on the scale and it says more then i expected (256). Damn. Then i go into the room and start talking to the doctor. He asked me why i wanted the surgery and then proceeded to tell me how he use to be a gastric bypass surgeon and he doesnt think i need the surgery.....Hello I am 150lbs overweight. He goes on to say how young i am and how i do not have any weigh related condition so he thinks good ol diet and exercise will do the trick. Ok like i havent tried that before. We talked for about 30 minutes and he asked me if i still wanted to go ahead with the process and of course i said yes. So he tells me that i need to come back in a month and if i havent changed my mind yet he will give me my referrals. So another month without any solid process. But as of today i am going to start trying to loose weight again so that when i go back i can show him that i do have motivation and i would succeed. So thats that. We will see how it goes.....i guess.

So i have been searching this site and the net for people with a similar story to me. I find alot of people start out blogging quite a but at first and then they drop off. I know people are busy and probably the last thing they want to do after they have lost weight is to sit at a computer and blog. I really like to be informed about what other people experienced and their results so i have something to think about or look forward to. but as i said i am not having much luck. i am really worried about the insurance aspect, and it seems that most people start blogging after they have been approved or after the surgery is done. If anyone has any experiences to share in regards to the process leading up to approval that would be great.

So all my life i was fit and active. Always the smallest kid. Then i got pregnant with my daughter. I was 17 and weighed 135 when i got preggo. While the calculators said i was overweight, i was all muscle. The day i had my daughter i weighed 156. i left the hospital weighing 162 and from there it just kept creeping. I vowed i would never get over 200. i remember being 185lbs and thinking how big i was and i really needed weight loss surgery....little did i know, 7 years and 2 kids later i am 247lbs. My heaviest weight was 267 when i had my son in 2008. I did loose weight after he was born, but i am sowly gaining it all back. I always make excuses. I tell people i do not care about how heavy i am, i have no health problems, but on the inside im dying. It kills me to not be able to play with my kids. We went to Dutch Wonderland this past summer and i could hardly fit into some of the rides, it about broke my heart, but i kept smiling....  My point of no return was when my oldest daughter, she is 7, looked at me and started crying and said she didnt want me to die. Where on earth did that come from i asked her, and she said that she heard in school that being heavy can cause you to have a heart attack and she doesnt want that to happen to me. I assured her that i was not going anywhere, at least not for a long long time, then  turned my head and discreetly wiped the tears from my face. The next day i called and made an appt for the initial visit for the surgical weightloss program.

Not the reaction i expected......
I debated telling anyone about my choice for a little while. I finally told my 2 best friends at work and they were very supportive, they said i was beautiful and didnt need it, but also said that they will go with me to my classes if i wanted them to. That meant the world to me. Next i told my husband and he just said it is my choice, he will love me regardless of what i weigh. Then i progressively told my family and i was appaulled at their responses. My sister actually said to me, "you just wanna loose weight so you can be skinnier then me, dont you?" Yea thats it, everything is about her, forget about my health, i just wanna top her. I told my aunt and my cousin who are the next closest members of my family and they are both heavy, the looked at me and said in a very condescending tone, " we dont think you should do it, its a life changing thing, and i dont think it is right for you." So whatever, it is what it is, I know i am going to need a support system so i am just going to utilize the positive people in my life and go from there.

1/6/10
Information meeting
I had my first meeting today and they went over the ins and outs of the procedure. I was very worried about my insurance but they assured me that if my insurance has a benefit fot WLS, then at the end of their classes i would be approved. So that lifted alot of weight off my shoulders. I am still undecided as to which option is best for me. they both have benefits for me, but at the same time they both have negative aspects...with the bypass i am afraid if i font adhere i will eat myself fat again, but with the band i am afraid i will not loose it fast enough or the amount i want, get depressed and give up. I have some time to decide, but i am really looking for success stories for each. I have been looking on here and everyone looks amazing, so i just dont know. I made my appt with the surgeon and set up a visit with my pcp to get my pulmonolgy and psychiatric referrel. i go to my first nutrition class on feb 8. so I have something to look forward too.

I look forward to getting to know people from here and building an online support system.  Well thats it for now.